A/N: Set after Ocean's 13.

A/N2: This story was very nearly not brought to you at all. On account of me going to get a cup of tea just before posting and neatly tripping over a cable. From this, we learn two things. First of all, that the internet only works if a phone line is involved. Who knew? And secondly that the bottom corner of my desk is sharp. Ow. Also, haven't even got a cup of tea yet. Am sulking.

The sucker was staring at his cards with an expression of vapid stupidity. After a moment he looked up and smiled hesitantly. "What does the little man with the 'J' mean again?" he asked, wide-eyed and confused and sincere.

Jake resisted the urge to look at his partners, convinced that he'd burst out laughing. Oh, this clown was their fourth target of the day and unquestionably the most lucrative. Even better than the last creep who'd gone away crying after he'd lost his car. But this loser had 'goldmine' all over him. That had been obvious from the moment they'd seen him wandering the casino floor with an armful of chips and a bewildered expression.

Jake had done his usual. Waited until he was sure security was nowhere in sight, stepped forwards and offered to take the sucker somewhere quieter to gamble. Show him the ropes, as it were. He'd taken the sucker up to the room they'd got specially for fleecing marks. Didn't do to take them anyplace they'd find anyone if they came back later. But they'd sat him round the table, brought out the whisky, showed him the hands and a few shuffles and the idiot had lapped it up, effusively grateful, fluttering his eyelashes. Jake was enjoying taking him for everything he had. Not that he had anything against fags, mind you. Their money was just as good as anyone else's, and they were less likely to cut up rough over losing it.

He smiled as Ray leaned forwards. "That's a Jack, remember? The lowest face card. Worth more than a Ten and less than a Queen."

The sucker nodded frantically and looked like he was trying to memorise it. "Jack. Less than a Ten, more than a Queen."

Jake tried to keep from laughing aloud. "Other way round," he advised.

"Oh!" The sucker's eyes were wide. "Oh, I see. Jack....Jack." Jake would put serious money on him asking the same question in the next hand. Didn't seem likely that this idiot had the smarts to remember more than three things at once.

Four hands later and most of the sucker's money was in the middle of the table and he was still staring at his cards like he'd never seen them before.

They'd taken over fifteen thousand dollars from the guy so far and he had less than a thousand in front of him.

"You need to put in another two thousand in to stay in the game," Jake said, smiling.

The sucker carried on staring at his cards, nibbling on his forefinger thoughtfully. Jake had dealt him three Aces and he probably felt like nothing could stop him. "I don't have that...." he said pensively. "But I really think I could win this time!" He looked up, beaming with happiness.

Yeah. Fat chance. Jake frowned. "I suppose we could possibly let you bet something else," he mused, with fake-reluctance.

The sucker's smile became impossibly brighter. "Really? You'd do that? You guys are the best!" He frowned, his fingers playing around his mouth, his tongue darting over his lips. In spite of himself, Jake found himself transfixed. "But what could I bet?" the sucker wondered guilelessly.

"Any..." Jake cleared his throat self-consciously. "Anything you like," he said, in a more normal tone of voice. He wasn't fussy, after all. He'd take whatever the guy was offering.

The sucker giggled. "You're right!" he exclaimed. "I know I'm not going to lose, so it doesn't really matter, right?"

"Uh huh," Jake nodded, his smile a little fixed.

"Mmmm...." He was damned if the sucker wasn't actually sucking on his fingers right now. It was fucking distracting. "Oh, well, how about if I bet this?" He held up a keycard. "I'm in one of the high roller suites," he added, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a bright pink lollipop with an air of mild astonishment. "'s a good room. And I suppose I could throw in everything in it, since I know I'm going to win."

He unwrapped the lollipop and swirled it around his mouth, his eyes closed, his face shining with pleasure.

"Everything in the room?" Ray asked hoarsely, and Jake kicked him hard under the table.

Still, a high roller suite wasn't bad. And the clothes this guy was wearing looked expensive. Ridiculous, but expensive. Odds were good that the contents of the room would be more than a few suits and a stack of toiletries.

"That sounds good," he agreed, smiling benevolently, as the sucker threw the keycard into the pot.

He watched as Ray dealt the last card, shifting uncomfortably as the sucker sucked his lollipop with blissful innocence.

The game moved quickly. Another raise round the table; Ray and Chuck dropped out and it was just him and the sucker. He looked down at the heart flush he was holding. And the sucker still just had his three Aces.

"You're going to need to put something else in the pot if you want to stay in the game," he told the sucker, artfully apologetic.

Pulling the lollipop out of his mouth with an audible pop, the sucker pouted. "But I don't have anything else..."

"Then I guess you're out," Jake told him, reaching for the money pointedly. He was sure the guy had more to be taken.

"Wait!" the sucker leaned forwards, looking between his cards and the money in the middle. "Um...uh....how about if I bet my car?" He pulled out a set of car keys. "It's a classic. 1964 Mustang. In excellent condition. Well, mostly excellent condition," he added, with disarming honesty.

A car was a car. And if the thing was a classic there was probably some sort of collectors market. "That should do," he nodded, happily enough. "Let's see what you've got."

He didn't bother looking as the sucker turned his cards over. He already knew how this game ended. "Heart flush," he announced, happily reaching for the money.

Ray was making choking noises.

The sucker looked puzzled. "But I thought you said that four of a kind beat a flush?" he said, frowning. "And I've got four ones, look."

Jake looked. The bastard did. Four Aces were lying there on the table.

Fucking Ray. He knew that the bastard was easily distracted by a pretty face and an oral fixation, but he'd assumed that the lecherous fuck at least had the taste to stick to skirts.

"You win then," he said, smiling through clenched teeth. "Well done."

The sucker laughed, delighted and he reached into the table and took back the keys, all his money and most of theirs. "Oh, this is fun! Can we play again?" He looked up at Jake, through his eyelashes, licking his lips again. "Maybe you can win something back."

Jake grinned. Oh, they would. He'd make this bastard cry before the night was through.

Another four hands, another three lollipops and the sucker was still about as far from crying as a man could be.

He kept winning. It wasn't possible, but he kept winning. And Ray was easily distracted, but he wasn't that bad. Jake was beginning to wonder if he was being set up here. But the look on Ray's face surely couldn't be faked.

They were down a lot. They were down nearly everything. And nothing was working. In desperation, he'd even called down for room service, asked for Charlie, the guy they had a little arrangement with. And sure, Charlie had come in, glanced at the sucker's cards, just like always, and he'd passed a note of them to Jake as usual. All above board, right up until the part where when the sucker laid his cards down they weren't the ones that Charlie had told him. Not a single one. Wasn't fucking possible.

And Jake would swear that the guy wasn't cheating. After the third impossible hand, when he was convinced that it couldn't just be Ray's carelessness, he'd started looking really closely, but there was no sign of it. No hint that the guy was anything more than he appeared to be.

They'd pulled all the stops out this time. He was sitting on top of a Ten high straight flush and Ray had made absolutely sure that all the mark had was two pair. They'd swapped decks earlier; going for the marked one. Jake could see what the guy was holding; there was absolutely no doubt.

All was well. Except he didn't have enough to call the sucker's bluff.

"You could always bet something else," the sucker suggested innocently, licking happily at a fresh lollipop. Jake was beginning to seriously hate him.

Still. Since they couldn't lose...He pulled out his room key and laid it on the middle of the table.

The sucker picked up the key with an air of disappointment. "Not a high roller suite," he complained. "Not even a suite. I don't know....I don't think that's worth enough."

Jake gritted his teeth. They had to stay in the game. They had to stay in the game or else they'd lose everything they'd made today. "What would be worth enough?" he asked.

Turned out what would be worth enough was all of their room keys, his car and the car they'd taken off the sucker earlier, and Chuck's bike and Ray's watch, and an IOU for three hundred dollars besides.

He thought, maybe, they'd got a little carried away. But he wanted this fag so badly he could taste it.

"There!" he snarled, throwing down his cards. "Beat that, if you can."

"Oh, I think I can," the sucker murmured coolly, and he turned his cards over delicately. A Royal Flush. A Royal Flush in their deck that had been plainly marked.....

He stared up into the eyes of what suddenly seemed to be the wrong kind of sucker.

"Fun as this has been, gentlemen, I'm afraid I've got somewhere else to be," the sucker said lightly. "Now, about that IOU....."

Rusty wandered downstairs, absently unwrapping another lollipop. Well, that had been fun. Time well spent. And he'd find Simon later and give him back his money and his car keys. In the meantime, he should really go find Isabel and try and convince her that he hadn't been getting into trouble while she'd been out shopping.

Turned out he couldn't have timed it better if he'd tried. He got to the front door just in time to see Isabel walk in, closely followed by Danny and Tess. Huh. They must have caught an earlier flight. And he was smiling before he knew anything about it.

"Look who I bumped into outside!" Isabel said happily, and the next couple of minutes were spent in greetings.

"So what have you been doing?" Danny asked him eventually, eyes dancing with secret, knowing laughter.

Isabel turned and looked at him sharply. "What have you been doing?" she asked, with inevitable amusement.

He shrugged and tried to look innocent. "Oh, you know. I've been spending my time productively." Speaking of which....He glanced back towards the stairs. Let's see....five minutes for them to be convinced he wasn't joking and wasn't coming back. Two minutes for them to figure there was no way for them to get into their own rooms without the keycards that were currently located in his pocket. Two minutes for them to discover that the phone in the room wasn't working anymore. Say, five minutes for them to work up the mini-bar-induced confidence....

He heard the shrieks before he saw them and he grinned. "Anyone who doesn't want to see something slightly disturbing should look away now," he advised, just as Jake, Ray and Chuck ran into view, naked and only mostly-covered by a selection of towels and flannels.

Tess choked and buried her face against Danny's shoulder, her shoulders shaking with laughter.

Isabel glared at him playfully. "I can't take you anywhere," she muttered.

"Hey, I'm not the one naked," he pointed out.

"This time," Danny added, helpfully. "Not to mention - "

His eyes narrowed. "Oh, that's - "

" - I wouldn't say completely," Danny protested. "After all, there was the jewellery."

"Not on me there wasn't!" he objected. "Besides, that was Italy. They're much more relaxed about things over there."

"Italy?" Danny blinked. "I was talking about Pittsburgh."

"Oh." He thought about it for a moment. "Oh, then you're completely right."

Isabel was looking at them. "Do I want to know?" she asked.

"No," they chorused immediately.

"I'm almost certain I don't," Tess commented.

As they were talking, Chuck and Ray had made it across the floor and were streaking towards the fire exit. Rusty couldn't help but wonder what the plan was here. Him, he would've found an unoccupied room and availed himself of someone's unwitting hospitality. Running down the Strip naked wasn't his idea of a good time....huh. He must be getting old.

Jake, meantime, had found his way blocked by a pair of burly security guards, apparently intent on explaining the dress code to him. He turned, looking round desperately, and lit eyes on Rusty. "You!" he shrieked. "You cheating bastard!"

"Oh, boy," he sighed.

Danny grinned at him. "You had to take their clothes?"

He shrugged. "They take things too far, I take them further."

Jake lunged across the floor towards him. He didn't move. Some men just weren't intimidating naked. "I want my money back, you fucker! And my car! And where the fuck are my clothes!"

He sucked on the lollipop thoughtfully. "Well, when I looked closer, they didn't seem to be worth three hundred dollars. So I guess I threw them out somewhere."

"Off-the-peg?" Danny asked sympathetically.

Rusty nodded. "Cheap materials are such a mistake," he sighed.

Jake was raging and the security guards had him by the arms. "I'm going to kill you, you fucking arrogant, queer...." His towel fell to the floor.

"Oh, my," Isabel raised her eyebrows. "Is it cold in here or is it just you?"

With a visible effort, Jake calmed himself down and twisted his head round to talk to the security guards. "Look. This...man...got me involved in a private game. Obviously he was cheating and he took all my money and my clothes."

"Cheating is a very serious accusation," one of the guards rumbled.

"Yes, well, I know the owner of this place personally," Jake blustered. "I can assure you he'll be very upset about all of this."

Rusty glanced at Danny and raised an eyebrow. "He knows the owner personally," he whispered.

Danny smiled. "Uh huh. Good to know."

"The boss is on his way now," one of the security guards reported, after talking to his cuff for a bit.

Jake looked smug. Naked, but smug. "Now you're in trouble," he told Rusty, and a moment later, as the elevator arrived, he turned round hopefully. "Mr Tishkoff, I'm sure you remember me, we met at The Rio last month."

"He was probably wearing clothes then," Danny put in helpfully, as Reuben was staring at Jake with an expression of unconcealed bewilderment.

Reuben looked over sharply and beamed at the sight of them. "Guys! When did you get here!" In an instant first Danny then Rusty were hugged happily. "And Tess! Isabel! You're looking well." Both were kissed on the cheeks. "When did you get here? How come I didn't know?"

"We just got here," Danny explained. "Rusty and Isabel have been here a while longer though."

Reuben glanced back at Jake. "Yeah, I see that. You know, my people say 'We got a naked man causing a disturbance down at reception', I don't know why I didn't figure you were here immediately."

"Hey, I'm not the one naked," Rusty objected.

"This time," Tess murmured, and Isabel blinked at her.

"And I wasn't actually involved," Danny pointed out.

Reuben shrugged. "Like that matters."

The security guard cleared his throat. "Ah, Mr Tishkoff? The naked gentleman has levelled an accusation of cheating against Mr Ryan."

"You cheating in my hotel, Rusty?" Reuben asked, straight-faced.

Rusty blinked at him. "Of course not, Reuben," he said immediately. "I wouldn't do that."

"Good enough for me," Reuben nodded sharply. "Okay, find this guy some clothes and throw him out," he told his security guards while Jake stared, wide-eyed and open-mouthed and incoherent. "And now," he added, turning and smiling at them. "You come and get some dinner and we can get caught up Rusty can tell me why he wasn't cheating and what happened to that guy's clothes."

He shrugged. "He picked the wrong sucker," he explained simply.