A/N: Well folks, I'm anxious to hear what you think.

Reviewers, I love you…seriously. Believe me when I tell you that the fact that you take a minute to tell me you enjoy what you are reading means so much.

Okay so, take a deep breath, folks… dive in.

Chapter 48

It was Wednesday morning, and that meant martial arts entirely too early in the morning. It made Alice happy, though and Hatter would do anything to make her smile at him. Truly, he found he enjoyed it too, when he wasn't busy feeling awkward and stupid. It was good to be able to move freely and without pain again. He bore only the faintest of bruises on his ribs, and Alice's shoulder was almost as good as new. She still wasn't able to do one-armed pushups on that side, but she was definitely on the mend. And he thought his girlfriend doing one armed push-ups was terribly hot.

He was used to more physical activity than what running the tea shop entailed; karate class was a fairly good substitute for his previous activities. Safer, too. He was fairly sure that no one would try to shoot at him or stab him, for one thing.

Alice was free for most of the day, no more classes to teach or attend. She had planned to drop in to speak with her mother. Carol was going out of town for a few days again, and she was driving out that evening. If she and Alice were to make amends, Alice needed to do it today. After she finished speaking to her mother she planned to help Hatter in the tea shop. She wanted him to go over more of her tea education; she was determined to learn as much as she could as quickly as possible.

Hatter took advantage of the slow part of the day to visit with James as they transitioned from his shift to Hatter's. The elderly gentleman seemed to be doing much better now that he was only working a few hours a day and covering Hatter's days off. The stress of managing a failing business had aged him, and he looked a full ten years younger now that Hatter handled all the logistics. Hatter desperately wanted to tell him that he was going to be able to buy the shop outright, but he was waiting until he actually had cash in hand before he told James.

Hatter disclosed that he had picked a date to ask Alice to marry him, and James reassured him once again that she would accept. He said a blind man could see how much Alice loved him. Hatter had countered that just because she loved him didn't guarantee him a 'yes.' James wished the young couple all the best; they reminded him of himself and his wife when they were young.

James counted himself lucky that he had so many good years with his wife before her untimely death. They had still been deeply in love, even after all their years together. He still missed her every day. It broke his heart to have to sell the tea shop; it had been her dream. He just hoped the ambitious young man sitting across from him could manage to work a miracle and buy it from him. It would be the best of both worlds. He could be sure that David would continue the business, and he could still work in the tea shop a few hours a week.

Alice had enjoyed teaching her morning class more than usual, thanks to the addition of Hatter. Despite his blatant disbelief that he was doing well, he seemed to have a natural ability. He was much more interested in the Judo than the Kenpo, but Alice had explained that both styles had their advantages. Like many American martial arts studios these days, hers taught a mixed style. She actually held her belt in both disciplines; her Sensei was old school, and she'd had the bloody knuckles from testing for her belts to prove it.

She didn't think Hatter's knuckles would bleed. He had fight scars on the knuckles of his left hand, and apparently whatever bit of Wonderland magic that powered his right also protected it from injury. Of course, that was his biggest weakness in class. He had grown overly dependent on his right arm to the detriment of his guard and his left side. He was improving quickly though… he would be even more dangerous with some more martial arts training. He had to be the fastest beginner she had ever seen.

Carol answered the door to find Alice standing outside of it. She supposed that Hatter must have convinced her to at least listen to her. She owed him her thanks for it; Alice was stubborn. Alice still looked defensive and angry, but Carol was encouraged by the fact that she had come to see her. She pulled Alice into a hug.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. I was just worried about you. I know that you are a bright, capable young woman. If you want to do this, I'll support you." Carol apologized.

Alice felt her anger dissolve; her mother's warm hug and apologetic words went a long way to erase the hurt as well. Her mother's support meant the world to her, even though she was determined to live life her own way. She hugged her back tightly.

"Thanks Mom," she said simply.

They sat on the couch drinking coffee and talking, like they had done for years. Alice was glad to have an audience to listen to her gush over Hatter. She had never had many friends, aside from those at the dojo. Between school, work, and her obsession with finding her father, it hadn't left her with much free time to cultivate close friendships, even if she had the inclination.

Carol privately thought that Hatter had nothing to worry about. Alice was just as crazy over him as he was over her. Alice had never talked like this about anyone…even in her boy-crazy teenage years. Well, boy-crazy for Alice. For Alice, that meant she idolized and adored a string of actors and musicians. She had never been so smitten with an actual person… ever.

Alice took a moment to call Immigration before she headed back to the tea shop. She waited on hold for ages, only to be told that they hadn't yet received Hatter's letter. She called the Vital Statistics office, and they hadn't processed the request. Alice lost her temper. She would be furious if he was deported because someone couldn't get off their ass and do their job in a timely manner. The person on the phone hung up on her; she probably should have kept better control of herself.

Alice entered the tea shop, still angry about the phone call. Hatter's brow creased as he noted the grim set of her jaw. He had hoped she would have been able to work out something with her mum. He nodded his head towards the back room as he finished up with his customer. Alice nodded and entered the back room; she waited for him anxiously.

"What's the matter? Did things not go well with your mum?" he asked, his hands stroking up and down her arms soothingly.

"No. That went great, actually," she answered.

He tilted his head towards her in silent inquiry.

"I called about your citizenship," she admitted.

Hatter blanched, "Oh. And I take it the news was not good?"

"Well, it was more the fact that there was no news. They still haven't even processed the request letter. I'm afraid you're going to run out of time before we manage to get the problem straightened out. What will we do if you get deported?" Alice asked, her voice betraying her fear.

Hatter hugged her to him, "We'll deal with it when it happens, yeah? I'll do whatever I have to do to stay with you, love. I promise."

Alice clung to him. This wasn't the time or the place for her to break down, but she couldn't bear to think of all the horrible things that could happen. He would lose the tea shop, she would have to leave the dojo, and school, and her mother. And what if England didn't have a record of his birth either? Then where would they go? Back to Wonderland? Hatter seemed convinced that he'd be thrown in prison or executed if he ever went back, but Alice didn't believe Jack would actually do that to a 'Hero of Wonderland.' She really didn't see any other option… unless…

"I have an idea," Alice said, breaking away from Hatter.

"Well?" he asked.

"We can get married," she stated.

At Hatter's stunned expression, she hurried to clarify, "Just until we can straighten out your citizenship. We won't stay married. But that way, they won't deport you. It will buy us time."

"Well, that's a relief," he replied acidly.

Hatter stood ramrod straight, his jaw clenched and unclenched. His mouth set in a grim line as he glared down at her. Alice looked at him, tried to decipher his anger.

"You're angry? Why? It wouldn't be like a real marriage…" she explained, shocked at his reaction to what she thought of as an easy solution to their problem.

Hatter stiffened as she moved to grab hold of his hands, shook her off, "Don't."

Hurt crossed her face, swiftly followed by anger, "I don't understand what the problem is," she bit out, frustrated by his reaction.

His eyes narrowed, he shook his head in disbelief, "I've got work to do," he growled as he stalked back into the front of the tea shop.

Alice followed him after a few moments. She sat at her table, waiting for him to calm down and explain why he was so upset. She didn't think that the idea of him marrying her would really be met with so much resistance. It was just so they wouldn't send him away... surely he could tolerate that for a short time. It's not like she was asking him for a lifelong commitment!

Twenty minutes passed; Hatter continued his steadfast avoidance of her. He didn't bring her a cup of tea; he didn't so much as look at her. He interacted with his customers as usual, but his smile had a brittle edge and the stiffness in the way he held himself betrayed him. Forty minutes passed and Alice had enough. She cornered him behind the counter and blocked his exit.

"Are you going to tell me what the hell is wrong with you?" she whispered.

He exhaled sharply and met her eyes, "Really? You've not got any idea?" he asked, sarcasm dripping from each word.

She shook her head angrily, "No!"

She caught a glimpse of bone deep hurt in his eyes before he was able to cover it. She was suddenly furious. All his talk about being honest with each other, about not playing games, about talking about their problems… and here he was having a temper tantrum, and he wouldn't even tell her why he was so angry. He had never talked to her like this… ever. She had even made a special point to explain she wasn't trying to entrap him, she would never force him into a marriage he didn't want. If he was going to act like this, he could do it without her around to witness it.

"I'm staying at my mother's house until you get your head out of your ass!" Alice snapped.

"Yeah? Well maybe that's for the best, eh?" he snarled.

Alice's eyes crackled with anger. She pressed her lips together and spun around on her heel. He watched her stalk out of the tea shop with a sinking heart. He should have never let her go, but he was hurt by her casual inference that they could just get married for convenience… and the realization that she didn't want to be in a real marriage with him. She had stunned him and then crushed him all in one breath, and he had been unable to think clearly.

That was the crux of it, the source of his anguish. He supposed it was better to find out this way than to ask her and have her turn him down. That might have chased her away for good. As it was, he was unsure where to go from here. He didn't know how to fix this, or if it could be fixed. He pressed his palm to his chest to ease the ache that had settled there like a stone. God it hurt.

He'd been wounded deeply; and like an injured animal he had lashed out at her. What was worse, she didn't even understand why he was upset, and if possible, that had cut him even deeper. He was shaking at the effort it took to hold in the storm of emotions roiling though him. He stalked out the back door of the shop into the alley. He roared in anguish as he hauled back and punched the metal dumpster repeatedly, desperate for an outlet for his emotions.

Hatter bowed his head, chest heaving and tried to regain his composure, embarrassed by his lack of control. He hadn't struck anything out of anger in almost fifteen years, and he had about destroyed the skip. Nausea gripped him, his stomach twisted into knots. He breathed in and out slowly and pushed all the pain and anger into a tight little ball inside of him, hiding it away for later. He didn't have the luxury of falling apart right now; he had a business to tend to.

Alice sat on the couch in her mother's empty apartment and cried. She buried her face in her hands and sobbed, distraught and confused over what had just happened with Hatter. This was the reason she had never let anyone into her heart; it hurt too much. If they were close enough for her to love, they were close enough to stab her in the heart. She wished he would have just told her why the idea of marrying her was so repugnant to him. She had always got the impression that it would be his ultimate goal, but maybe she had read him all wrong.

She'd never really been in a serious relationship before, maybe she had misunderstood everything. She knew one thing for damn sure, he would have to come to her on this one. Still, she was relieved that her mother was out of town. She would have hated to have to explain this after all the time she spent talking about how great their relationship was. Alice broke down in fresh tears. They had been so happy this morning. And he had told her he would do whatever he had to do to stay with her, and then a heartbeat later he had been furious at her suggestion on how they could keep him here with her. He had lied to her. Again!

Hatter locked up for the evening, numbly going through the motions. He sat down at Alice's table; he didn't want to go upstairs to his empty flat filled with Alice's things but no Alice. He knew for a fact she had meant it when she said she was staying at her mother's place. She wouldn't come home until he asked her to, and he wasn't so certain she would come home even then. He didn't know what he could tell her, in any case. He couldn't bear to lie to her, but he didn't want to tell her the truth. He couldn't face her yet, not without breaking down… and he didn't want to do that. He couldn't take her pity; he'd rather have her anger.

Hatter thought hard about what he wanted, and what he was willing to sacrifice. He pulled the ring out of his jacket pocket and stared at it. His eyes blurred as they filled with tears. He couldn't be without her, but he didn't know how he could be with her knowing that she didn't love him the same way he loved her. He didn't know if he had the strength to live with only a part of her… but he might as well curl up and die without her. The tears fell, and he let them. They burned like acid against his cheeks. He didn't know how long he sat there with his head in his hands, hot tears of regret falling to the floor along with all of his hopes and dreams, but he couldn't find the will to move.

Three a.m. and Alice was still awake. She had cried herself out, but though she was exhausted, she couldn't sleep. She wondered if Hatter was as miserable as she was. She ran their strange conversation through her head over and over again, looked for a clue to what had upset him enough to push her away. He had been furious, shaking with rage. She let out a scream of frustration and sat up. This was downright ridiculous. She was going to find out what was wrong with him, and he wasn't about to push her away until she did. Oh! But he would pay for this one… she promised to herself.

Alice noted absently that it looked like a car had run into their dumpster as she ducked into the alleyway entrance to the stairs leading up to their flat. She knocked, then unlocked the door and entered when she got no response. Hatter wasn't in the flat. She started to panic. What if he was so angry he decided to go back to Wonderland? She took a deep breath and thought about where Hatter would go. Maybe he was still in the shop.

Alice entered the tea shop from the rear exit, moving quietly. There was something about the darkened empty building that called for silence. She padded into the store room, the office, and then finally to the front of the store. She didn't see him at first; he was so still and quiet. Hatter was all motion and action… he wasn't suited to stillness.

He sat at her table, his head buried in his hands; his hat lay on the floor beside him. He looked up slowly as she walked towards him, pain deeply etched on his face. He pushed himself up stiffly and watched her silently. He'd been crying, she noted. She probably was at least as big a mess as he was. It was three-thirty in the morning and she'd spent half the night sobbing into her pillow. Now that she was here, she didn't know how to begin. Hatter saved her the trouble.

"You came back?" he rasped, his voice rough.

Alice nodded, "Couldn't sleep without you."

"Yeah," he answered.

She closed the space between them, deliberately giving him have no choice but to look at her, "Hatter… I don't understand. Tell me what's wrong," Alice pleaded.

He answered with silence and sad eyes.

"I wasn't trying to entrap you. I meant it when I said you didn't have to stay married to me," Alice asserted.

He made a sound that could have been either a bark of derisive laughter or a sound of pain… Alice wasn't sure which.

"It's too late for that, I'm already trapped," he stated.

"Hatter, please?" she begged.

He looked at her and his face crumbled, "Alice… don't you see?"

She shook her head in the negative.

"I don't want you to marry me as a necessity, as a temporary thing! I want you to marry me because you love me, and you want to be with me forever, for always…like I said. Not this… this sham! A false marriage! It kills me that you don't want to marry me, Alice. For real, forever. It kills me that you don't love me like I love you," he railed.

Alice's breath caught in her throat, "No. You misunderstood. I didn't want you to think I was trying to force you to marry me… a lot of girls try crazy things… I just was trying to be fair to you," she explained, haltingly.

She stared into his pain-filled dark eyes, "Are you saying you want to marry me for real?" she asked tentatively.

Hatter dropped to his knees on the floor in front of her and reached into his inside pocket; he'd kept the ring with him constantly and now he was glad of his paranoia. He opened the box with shaking hands and showed Alice the ring.

He put every bit of love he had for her into his gaze as he looked up at her, "Alice, please. I'm on both knees because I am begging you. Please marry me? Be my wife, because you want to. Because you love me. Because you want to spend the rest of your life with me, because my life is worth nothing without you in it."

He held his breath as she stared down at him, waited for her to do something, say something. Panic began to choke him. Cold sweat broke out on his brow, nausea twisted his stomach.

She was frozen. He was looking up at her with love and fear, and the edges of panic. It all made sense now… his violent reaction to her suggestion of a quickie marriage to beat the Immigration system. No wonder he'd been so upset. He had been planning to ask her to marry him, (she'd bet that's what the whole 'date' thing had been about) and in his eyes she'd acted like marriage was nothing serious, and worse… that she didn't love him enough to actually marry him. Oh. She felt terrible.

"Alice?" he asked, his voice cracking.

Oh, right. She thought.

She sank down next to him on the floor, "You don't have to beg me. Yes. Nothing would make me happier. How could you not know how much I love you, you idiot!" she answered.

His face suffused with elated joy, he slipped the ring onto her finger. He pulled her to him, kissed her with all the love and tenderness welling up inside of him. She said yes. She would be his wife. His Alice. She wiped tears from his face that he didn't even realize he'd cried; he did the same for her. He hugged her to him tightly, needing to feel her close to him.

He grinned suddenly and pulled her up to stand, "I have a tea for you to try," he said.

Taken aback, she nodded, "Alright."

He pulled her behind the counter with him, keeping her hand twined together with his. He didn't want to let her go. He brewed the tea carefully, and then presented her with a cup.

"What's it called?" she asked curiously.

He smiled slightly, "Try it first."

She took a sip and closed her eyes. Sunshine, love and warmth, citrus and clove… joy and laughter, allspice and green and black teas, passion…warmth ran through her. She opened her eyes and smiled. She had to smile after tasting it. This one was a masterpiece of complexity. He'd outdone himself. It did more than made her understand the emotion behind it… it made her feel it.

"Beautiful. Incredible. How do you do that? What is it called?" she asked, awed at his ability to create such a thing.

"I called it Say Yes," he admitted.

"I had the whole thing planned out… this was not what I intended. I wanted it to be special," he apologized.

Alice looked at him, rested her hand on his cheek, "It was perfect." She assured him before pulling him towards her for a kiss.

A/N: Whew. Well? Did I rollercoaster you? I'm hoping I did. So, even people who love and understand each other can be stupid, prideful and blind. We needed a bit of angst and high drama…we were due after all the fluffiness. But darkness to light, eh?

I hope you liked it. Tell me if you did?

*ahem* Oh yeah…they are so getting a Missing Reel out of this angst-fest. Titled: Show Me. go to www. fanfiction. net/s/5904997/1/ Show_Me_An_Always_Missing_Reel (Take out the spaces)

Yes, I had bloody knuckles from all the push-ups when I tested for my belts. My instructor was old school, but you should hear his stories.

Ah, have got some decent Primeval plot bunnies. Need to work out the details….yummy…Connor. Angry Connor anyone?