Chapter Thirty-Six
Grimmjow was mindlessly walking through the outside walls of Las Noches. He needed to think and get everything into focus. Hoshiko was plaguing his mind and he hated what it was doing to him. He was supposed to hate her; she was a Shinigami and his enemy. The day she scarred him, he made a vow that he would kill her and he thought with her being in Las Noches all he had to do was be patient and he would have her head. But now killing her was the last thing on his mind. He wanted her and the more he tried to deny it the more his attraction to her was becoming annoying.
"You look perplexed," snapping his head around Grimmjow stopped walking to find Kiyomi walking behind him, fuckin' great, he thought
"What's it to you?" he asked
"It amuses me…." She replied
"What?" Grimmjow asked annoyed
"I don't mean to poke fun at your confusion, I merely find it interesting. To know that such a bond lasts even to now," Kiyomi stated
"This is the second time you have talked about bonds with me, what the hell does that mean?" Grimmjow asked
"If everything was told to us in life do you think it would be worth living? Things we discover make it exciting and worth dealing with all of its confusion." She stated
"Bullshit, these feelings I have are pointless and make me sick. I want to get rid of them but…."
"You can't," Kiyomi interrupted, "It's too late to even try. Once you have started to feel and enjoy, faded memories take place. Truth be told you love her and wish you still didn't."
"Are you trying to help answer my questions or give me more questions?" Grimmjow was annoyed at her, how dare she say he loved anyone especially Hoshiko, "Forget it, just leave me alone."
"If you wish, but the feelings won't leave you alone Grimmjow; they are a part of you. Perhaps it would be best to let them happen." She replied
"Eat shit." He commented as he walked away from her to continue in his thoughts peacefully. Soon he was walking back towards his room, he hoped no one else would want to advise him. He stopped as he passed Damita's door. Trying to force himself to walk pass it Grimmjow couldn't, he could feel her reiatsu flaring. Was it because she was mad? He thought. She probably hated him, maybe if she yelled at him he could get angry at her as well. Or maybe he just wanted an excuse to walk into her room. Pushing open the door he found her lying on the bed with her back to him. At the sound of his footsteps she jumped up and turned to look at who entered her room.
"Grimmjow?" she paused, "What do you want?"
"…I don't know. I want things to be the way they were, when you hated me and I hated you. I don't know what is happening to me; it's like I don't have control over myself when you're near me. It annoys me when you're near but nags at my stomach when you're not." Grimmjow replied
"You're not making any sense. What did I do to make you hate me? Why did I hate you?" she asked
"…..Because I tried to kill you." He replied as her eyes widened
~Flashback~
As the months passed by, Hoshiko was slowly adapting to life in Byakuya's home. She was interacting with the rest of the workers of the house; Rikku and Mitsu helped her and showed her all the things she needed to know. Surprisingly, Hoshiko wasn't a bad cook. She would aid Rikku in the kitchen and seemed happy when Rikku and Renji enjoyed eating her food. Even her appearance was for the better, she didn't seem angry all the time. At night she still had occasional nightmares, but thanks to Byakuya she was able to block them out and sleep calmly. Hoshiko was grateful to him; almost every night he would mediate with her. She could understand why Renji and everyone in the house respected him. He was a strong and intelligent Taichou. She hoped one day she could be as respected as him.
The day was pretty slow as Renji and other officers of Squad Six were on a mission. Hoshiko realized how attached to him she was as she missed talking to him. While she was working in the kitchen, Rikku was cooking and of course Hoshiko was helping her. As she was cooking, Rikku noticed they were missing a few ingredients,
"Oh no," Rikku sighed, "I can't cook dinner without these items. I will have to run in the market and get some since Mitsu is already working."
"I can get it." Hoshiko said, she realized that it had been months since she stepped outside of Byakuya's house. Perhaps it would do her well to finally go outside. Maybe even see what was new in town and catch up with an old friend. Rikku seemed hesitant about it; it had been so long since Hoshiko went outside of the grounds but no one ever said she couldn't go outside. Plus she changed over these past months, denying her to go outside would be like not trusting her.
"If you really want to…just please be careful and don't take long. I will never hear the end of it from Renji if you stayed out too long." Rikku stated
Hoshiko smiled, "Hai! I'll bring back your supplies." Rikku sighed and handed her a bag and some yen for the market. Soon she wondered if she made a mistake as she watched Hoshiko leave the house and disappeared out of her sight.
Hoshiko walked around the market in somewhat awe; it was nothing like she remembered, some stores were closed down and new ones had taken their place. Fearful she headed towards Jin's shop and was happy to see it still open and running. Memories fluttered back and now she was nervous about walking in. She did want to see him, but what should she say? Did he know everything that happened? How would he treat her? Standing in front the door, Hoshiko slowly reached a hand out to push it open, but as she did it flew open and a man was tossed out. Luckily shew as able to jump back and avoid being knocked down.
"Sorry miss….I didn't see…" Jin paused as he looked at the woman that he nearly hit with a rude customer, "Hoshiko?"
"Jin." Hoshiko smiled, he looked her over for a moment and was speechless. He knew what happened and found out from Renji that she was sentenced to work for the Kuchiki house but he never thought he would get a chance to see her again. After a few moments he rushed over to her and hugged her tightly.
"Don't you ever leave me like that again kid; I thought you were….and then Renji told me everything. But I still thought I would never see you again. I'm so sorry; I would have killed that bastard myself for what he…"
"Jin, it's okay. I know….." Hoshiko interrupted as she hugged him back, "I wanted to see you, see how you were doing."
"Who gives a rat's ass about me! How are things with you? How is the Kuchiki house treating you?" Jin asked as he opened the door and gestured for her to come in and have a seat. Hoshiko nervously walked in and looked the shop over, everything was still the same but now people were having drinks during the day. She remembered the shop being quiet during the day. Having a seat in the back Hoshiko noticed the new help. Two young women moved around the tables to get people their drinks. Jin looked at what had her attention, "I needed help around here and they needed a job."
"You always did take care of those in need." She said
"Habit I guess, but how are you Hoshiko? Honestly." He replied
"They have been treating me good. I think I changed for the better, hopefully things will stay the same." She smiled, "There is still a lot of anger I need to work on but, one day at a time right."
"That's all you can do." Jin commented. The two continued to talk for a little while longer until Hoshiko realized it was getting late and she still needed to get the supplies for Rikku. Jin sadly walked her to the door and said his goodbyes, "Don't take forever to come see me again. And when your sentence is over, you know where you're welcome."
"Arigato, Jin. And I won't, I will try to come see you more often." Hoshiko replied as she left. Wandering around the market, most of the supplies weren't difficult to get and as she was picking up the seasonings she noticed a guy from one of her previous stops had followed her. After paying for the seasonings she knew it was time to get home. The guy was still behind her and was getting closer. When she felt him on her back, she grabbed pepper from her bag and threw it in his face. The man yelled and cursed at her as he tried to wipe his eyes. Hoshiko used this as a chance to run away. A few feet away from him she bumped right into a group of men. The impact sent her to the ground. Suddenly she froze when she saw a tall young man standing over her.
"Kurani Hoshiko?" the tall one stated as she narrowed her eyes at him, "Thought you would never show your face around here again."
"That's cause she's the Kuchiki whore now." one of them teased smirking at her
"So "she" killed Seiichi….that's hard to believe."
"What do you want?" Hoshiko yelled annoyed
"Seiichi was one of us before he became a Shinigami and he was my best friend." The man replied as her eyes widened, "I have been looking for you, but your "prison" kept you safe."
"I don't get it; Seiichi died for using a whore for all she was good for. And now she's in the Kuchiki's house living it up."
"Your master shouldn't let the dog stray too far from home." As they were rounding in on her, Hoshiko jumped up and she tried to get away, but a guy grabbed her arm and pushed her hard against the wall. Her breath was knocked out of her.
"I heard Seiichi left a few mementos on her," one guy smirked, "Mind if we have a look?" Hoshiko closed her eyes as thoughts of Seiichi laughing at her plagued her mind. The guy that originally followed her walked up to them angrily as pepper still covered his face. He went straight for Hoshiko and slapped her; the hit sent her rolling hard to the ground. He kicked at her back then grabbed the back of her neck to sit her up. Hoshiko's screamed as thoughts of Seiichi forced their way back into her mind. It was like each of them were him and he was hurting her again. A surge of pain ran through her back as something sharp hit her. With a yell, her body was almost lifeless. Before she would have been able to block out all emotion and be numb to the pain, but in the last months Renji, Rikku, Mitsu and even Byakuya had helped her feel and gain back happiness. She was surprised when tears still started to form in her eyes. But just as they fell down her cheeks she felt something featherlike run across her face. Opening her eyes, she was shocked when she found pink petals floating around her. What is this? She thought as they started rushing around her and soon millions of them surrounded her. Within a flash the men were consumed by the petals and she heard them yell in pain. Narrowing her eyes she could see how sharp the should be delicate petals were. They reminded her of Byakuya's gardens, beautiful they were the men who had hurt her saw no beauty in them as they cut through them. When the storm of petals slowed down, she saw something or someone flash in the distance. Trying to stand up, Hoshiko realized she couldn't move. Her lower back was too injured. With a cry she sat back down on the ground. Looking around the men were unconscious and bleeding. Hearing footsteps she quickly looked in the direction of it, what she found made her heart stop.
"Byakuya….." Hoshiko whispered as he was walking towards her; cherry blossoms cascaded around him making him look unreal. He shunpoed next to her and looked over her injuries. He saw blood running down her side and lifted the piece of her dress that was torn to reveal a deep cut. She thought she heard him groan out of anger but looking at his face he seemed unphased by anything. She watched as he removed his scarf and pressed it against her wound to stop the bleeding. Looking up she saw one of the guys approaching them,
"Byakuya-sama!" he narrowed his eyes at her surprised at how she addressed him. He already noticed the guy behind him and in the blink of an eye he disappeared and reappeared back next to her to continue tending to her wounds. Hoshiko watched as the guy collapsed to the ground in a mess of blood. When did he attack him? How did he moved so fast, she thought still wide eyed at what just happened.
"You're losing blood quickly, Hoshiko." Byakuya said as he tightened the scarf around her side. She screamed at the pressure he placed on it. Her breathing was slowing down and her vision started to get cloudy. She felt Byakuya wrap his arms around her and lift her up from the ground. Hoshiko grabbed onto his haori tightly as he looked down at her. She clung her body to his as if letting go would make him disappear. The last thing she remembered seeing before blacking out was him flashing away from the site.
The first two nights after the incident with Hoshiko, Byakuya started to fear she would close up again and start to isolate herself from everyone. Renji hadn't returned from his mission yet so she refused to sleep in a room without knowing he was there to watch over her. Mitsu and Rikku would check on her but she refused to talk. At night she didn't sleep, Byakuya would walk around at his normal late hours and see her wide awake. He knew why she couldn't sleep so he decided one night to come and sit in her room until she fell asleep.
Hoshiko was sitting by her window when she heard a knock at the door, "I don't want to talk." After a few moments she heard the door open and expected to see Mitsu or Rikku, but to her surprise Byakuya walked in.
"My apologies for coming in without your approval." Byakuya stated
"….Why are you here?" she asked
"Because you need to sleep and Renji won't be back for a few more days." He replied walking over to a chair and gracefully sitting down, "Please try and get some rest."
"It's not that simple," Hoshiko sighed, "I don't think I thanked you for saving my life. Words can't begin to explain how grateful I am to you for saving my life…again."
"You are a part of my household and as such it is my duty to protect all in it." He commented
"So that's it, am I sentenced here for the rest of my life? Seiichi's friends were looking for me and I handed myself to them without even knowing it. Seiichi was an evil bastard and kept close friends just as evil as him. If I ever go anywhere outside of these wall…"
"No one will hurt you while in my presence; you understand the type of man that I am. So you know you can trust my word," Byakuya paused as he thought for a moment, "I do apologize for not telling you Seiichi's comrades were in search of you. I also wish for you to forgive me for what you witnessed that day."
Hoshiko reluctantly thought back to what happened and how he hurt them. She found out that only one of the men survived and he was in confinement, "You saved me."
"You shouldn't have witnessed such actions." He commented
"Shinigami kill, there's nothing wrong with that." She whispered
"Yes there is; Shinigami are supposed to protect and uphold to their duties. I should have handled the situation differently." He explained
"They got what they deserved." Hoshiko stated
Byakuya sighed, "Don't go back to that dark place Hoshiko. You're better than this; if you consume yourself with hatred it will put you back on track to destruction."
She looked away from him, she knew he was right. But watching him kill them regretfully made her happy, "I won't become that person again, I can't. That person hated everyone; I can't go back to hating, especially not hating Renji, Rikku, Mitsu and….you. Each of you havereminded what it feels like to be happy again and to feel safe. But I can't stop thinking about what would have happened if you had been even a moment late." Byakuya felt a surge of anger pass through him at the thought. He watched as she stood up and walked over to her bed to lie down. She turned her back to him and attempted to close her eyes. Wrapping her arms around herself, she wished Renji was back from his mission and would stay in the room with her. With him in the room, she felt safe from anything. There was something about his presence that calmed her and now she needed that calming feeling. Suddenly she heard humming. Opening her eyes she realized it was coming from Byakuya.
"What are you doing?" Hoshiko asked, but she was slowly becoming sleepy and relaxed
"Humming to help you sleep," Byakuya replied
"Where did you learn that?" she continued to ask
"My wife." He replied as Hoshiko remained quiet; she remembered Rikku telling her about his wife, Hisana, who passed away. She didn't want to sadden him by talking about her. After a few moments he started to hum again and she felt the calming feeling return. Soon she couldn't keep her eyes open anymore and she went to sleep. Byakuya watched as her breathing slowed and she started to peacefully snore. He continued to hum for a little longer then stood from the chair. Pulling a sheet over her he made sure she was sleeping okay. Again he mindlessly brushed away strands of lose hair from her face. Hoshiko murmured something in her sleep, but she didn't wake up. Byakuya hated when he came in such close contact to her, every time he touched her skin, he felt a guilty tingle run through his hand. It was something he couldn't explain or rather didn't want to explain. Pulling his hand away he quickly he turned to leave her room.
After a few moments, Hoshiko slow stirred in her sleep, "Byakuya-Sama?" she looked around and realized he left her room. Suddenly she felt alone again and wished he was still in the room with her. She tried to go back to sleep, but the emptiness of the room was getting to her. Stretching her body, she pushed the sheet off and let her feet touch the floor. Getting up, she made her way to the door and peered outside. She wondered if Byakuya was sleep. Once she was in the halls, she knew that Mitsu and Rikku's room was right down the hall, but something in her wanted to be around him again. She had never been near his room as it was on another side of the house. Hoshiko remembered finding his study a few times during her days of wandering around so his room had to be close. Sure enough there was a hallway that ended with two grand doors that had to be his bedroom. As she walked towards it, she realized what she was doing. How can I just walk up to his room and expect him to let me in? Hoshiko thought, after all he was a noble and it wasn't her place to barge in on him. But he couldn't be asleep yet, I could just explain I needed to be around him since Renji was gone. That sounds so rude and desperate. She sighed as she reached the door. Standing in front of it she wanted to knock, but she didn't know what to say if he opened it.
Her fist was moments away from knocking when, "Hoshiko….." She turned around to find Renji walking up to her
"Renji?" Hoshiko paused as he ran up to her and held her tightly
"I'm sorry, I should have been here. I would have never let you go into town by yourself." He said
"It's ok, I understand you are a Fuku-Taichou. You have responsibilities." She replied
"Are you alright? Did you need something?" Renji asked as he motioned towards Byakuya's door, Hoshiko looked at it for a moment before speaking,
"I was just…..I felt alone for a little bit. And Byakuya-Sama kept me company while you were away." Renji's eyes widened slightly, she called him Byakuya-Sama. She never called him that before, "But I don't want to disturb him."
"I will stay with you so you can sleep." Renji stated while guiding her back to her room. As they were walking away Hoshiko turned to glance at Byakuya's door. She wondered if she should have knocked the door and if she did would he have opened it for her? Would he have let her stay with him? Unknowing to her, Byakuya was leaning against the door waiting to see what she was going to do. He felt her outside of his door but couldn't find the will to open it. Yet he knew if she knocked, he couldn't turn her away. He couldn't understand the feeling he had when she was around him. It was a feeling he had long forgotten and ignored since…..Byakuya sighed heavily as he thought of his wife. What would she think of him now; here he was thinking of another woman and allowing even the smallest feelings to flourish? He knew something was wrong when he saved her from Seiichi's friends. In all his years of composure, he had lost it so easily when he saw her being hurt. Something in him became protective and territorial. Pushing himself off of the door he could help but feel wrong about the situation, Hoshiko was growing on him and he feared the possibilities.