Bonnie Sveen Fan, thank you for your review. Ethan really does need Cal at the moment. It's sad writing about it, but at least I get to write lots of brotherly scenes. It's possible that Judy's arrival in Holby is entirely coincidental - after all, coincidences do happen a lot in Holby!

X-Sammii-X, Ethan just doesn't see how amazing he is - he just sees his limitations and he's forgotten that everyone has limitations of one kind or another. I love Ethan's modesty, but he is taking it too far here. I have to say Cal cooking dinner is tempting. I think he's probably a good cook - he's just lazy! Thank you for your review.

20BlueRoses, I'm glad you can see where Ethan is coming from. He's making a big mistake, but I like to think he's messing up in quite a noble way. Not unlike Cal, in fact, though Cal's noble acts are usually well-hidden by lies and excuses! I don't think this will be the last we see of Judy... Thank you for your review.

Tanith Panic, thank you for your review. I agree it was good for Ethan to relax and be looked after - and also good for Cal to step up and do something responsible for a change! Though I hope he's been a very big support to Ethan through most of this story. I think Judy might have said or done pretty much anything!

Is-there-somewhere-x, thank you for your review. I'm glad you like Ethan and Kate together - although I didn't create Kate, I do almost feel like she's mine. I'm glad you liked Cal's advice to Ethan - I thought something quite mature and responsible was needed instead of his usual style of advice on how to treat a woman!

ETWentHome, you'll find out what happened at the café in this chapter! I think Ethan (until he became 'more Cal') had his career planned (though not to the same extent as Lily!) and his diagnosis not only changes his plans, it makes it very difficult for him to make plans at all. It must be awful for him. Thank you for your review.

Kate gasped. "What's Judy doing in Holby?"

"Having tea and cake with a woman: I think it was a date," said Milly. "Probably a first or second date. It seemed like they didn't know each other that well yet. They were being very careful to check everything was okay with each other: you know, the little things you wouldn't need to ask if you'd been with someone for a while? Her girlfriend seemed nice."

"Did you know she was gay?" asked Kate. "Not that I mind, but I've never thought about it."

"Considering her obsession with you, it did cross my mind," admitted Milly.

Kate laughed. "I'm sure she wasn't obsessed with me like that! She just took a dislike to me. Sometimes that just happens. I have trouble liking Honey - her dad is so lovely, but I think she forgets he has feelings sometimes. She's still very young though and she is very generous. It was nice of her to send me that box of different kinds of teas. Some of them are her own invention and they're lovely."

"But why would anyone take a dislike to you?" said Milly protectively. "You're nothing like Honey!"

"Oh, I don't know. I have her old job and her old boyfriend!"

Milly laughed. "True!"

"I'm glad Judy's found someone," said Kate. "I hope she's very happy. When she was our age, homosexuality wasn't considered acceptable, so if she's grown up feeling it was something to be ashamed of, it's not necessarily going to be easy adapting to the idea that it's now completely all right. But maybe she'll be happier now."

"That doesn't excuse the way she treated you," said Milly.

"Maybe not, but it's over now," said Kate. "I have a new job; she has a new girlfriend – we're different people now and our paths might never cross."

There was a short silence. "She did ask after you."

Kate smiled with pleasure. "That was nice of her."

"It might have been nice of her," said Milly cautiously. "It depends on why she wants to know. She didn't seem surprised to see me."

"Maybe she remembered the name of the café and she wanted to say hi," said Kate.

Milly sounded dubious. "I suppose anything is possible. There were a few snide little comments, but they were quite mild for her. Things like how she was sure we'd be able to find better cleaners once the café was more established and that she'd heard about were some really good courses on customer service."

"Oh no!" said Kate with sympathy. "Are you okay?"

Milly laughed. "I'm fine. It takes a lot more than that to upset me! I just felt bad for Judy's girlfriend. She looked so embarrassed."

"Maybe Judy was nervous," said Kate. "New relationships can be terrifying. And sometimes things just come out wrong. Did I tell you when I was talking about salsa to Nibbles and I said it would be a good physical workout and he said it would help me to keep my weight down?"

"He didn't!" gasped Milly. "He'd better not have meant it or he's in trouble. If you even think about losing weight, I'll bring you a chocolate cake every night till you change your mind!"

Kate laughed. "If you do that, I really will need to lose weight! But of course he didn't mean it like that. He was just listing the benefits of salsa. I would have let it pass, but I couldn't help laughing and he wanted to know what was funny and I didn't want to lie. It took ages to reassure him he hadn't hurt my feelings. I do love Nibbles."

"Oh, so you do love him?" said Milly. "I'm glad you cleared that up for me. I really couldn't work out if you liked him or not!"

"I'm sorry!" said Kate, laughing again. "I probably do mention him too much. But I love him so much and I hope we'll have years and years together."

Ethan felt a little bit better the following morning. He did have a headache, but that probably wasn't surprising after crying for half the night and then falling asleep on the sofa with his head on Cal's shoulder. But he felt calmer and more able to think clearly.

He knew what he had to do.

Cal came out of the kitchen carrying a bowl of cereal and some toast. "Here you are, Nibbles. Breakfast in what was technically your bed last night…"

"Your bed too," Ethan reminded him as he took the bowl from Cal with a smile.

"I don't want to know how many times we've shared a bed recently!" said Cal, but he was smiling as he patted Ethan's shoulder. "But it's okay. Anytime you need me, I'll be there. And I know you'll be there for me too."

Ethan smiled. At one time, he might have been angry with Cal for assuming he would always be there for him, but he understood why Cal was saying it. He meant that looking after each other was a two-way process and always would be.

Ethan knew it wouldn't really be like that. He was sure that, eventually, there would be nothing he could do for Cal. Devastating as it had been to lose Emilie so soon, he was grateful in a way that the disease hadn't become so far advanced that she'd been trapped in her own body, unable to speak.

All he would be able to do then was break Cal's heart.

Kate smiled as Ethan entered the room. She would have smiled anyway, as she did for any visitor, but if she'd ever decided not to smile at Ethan, she was fairly sure she'd have found it impossible.

Ethan was so sweet. So special. So perfect.

So… ill at ease.

Concerned now, Kate held out her hand to him. "Hey, Nibbles. What's wrong?"

"I… I don't know if I'd say that anything is actually wrong," said Ethan. His voice was shaking and now he was nearer, Kate could see how tired he was. But he wasn't just tired: his lower lip was trembling and the pain in his eyes gave the impression that tears weren't far away.

Finally, he put his hand in hers. "Just tell me, Ethan," she said as he sat down on the bed beside her. "I love you and you can tell me anything."

"I… I just want you to…" Ethan did look teary now. He let go of her hand and lifted his briefcase onto his lap. He unlocked it with a click – he'd told Kate he'd recently changed the combination from his birthday to hers – and drew out a single sheet of paper. "I was hoping you might consider signing this."

Kate looked at it in surprise. She couldn't think of any reason why Ethan might want her to sign something. Her heart quickened as she began to read. She couldn't help thinking she wasn't going to like this. Ethan clearly didn't. She glanced at him again. His eyes were fixed on her face, his eyes full of agony.

She looked back at the piece of paper.

I, Katherine Daniels, confirm that I understand that Huntington's Disease is a debilitating, lifelong condition that will cause Dr Ethan Hardy's physical and mental abilities to decline. This process will continue throughout the rest of his life. To this end, I promise that if my love for the aforementioned Dr Ethan Hardy ever begins to wane, I will not stay with him and care for him out of any sense of duty. I will instead leave the relationship in order to seek the happy life I deserve. This is my promise and I will not break it.

Kate let the paper fall. It fluttered onto the bed and lay looking up at her, mocking her. She couldn't bring herself to meet Ethan's eyes. Time passed, but she couldn't say a word. She sat frozen, disbelieving, hurt.

It was like a dream or perhaps a nightmare and at any moment, she would wake up. Soon, she would be in Ethan's arms and he would be so different and he wouldn't give her a piece of paper to sign and then they would get on with being happy.

"Kate?" Ethan's voice was quivering.

Kate knew her voice would quiver if she spoke too. The paper on her lap looked blurry now and she could feel the first tears escaping.

"Kate?" Ethan took her hand. "Kate, please say something."

She spoke finally, her voice thin and wavering as more tears dripped down her face. "Ethan… could you please… leave?"

She couldn't look at him, but she felt his shock; his hurt. She heard his intake of breath. His hand began to tremble, then slowly, he withdrew it from hers. Kate's hand was shaking too as she half-gestured towards the… the thing on her lap. "Please… take that away too."

"Oh, darling, don't cry!" said Ethan, even though he was crying too. She still didn't look at him, but she could hear it in his voice. She could feel it. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to upset you. But you can see it makes sense, can't you?"

Kate began to sob, completely unable to articulate the pain inside her. She wanted to say something. She wanted to reassure Ethan that all this was unnecessary and she loved him and she would never want to give him up, but even if she'd been able to speak, she doubted she could have said the words.

She knew Ethan hadn't meant to hurt her. She knew even now that he genuinely believed he was acting for the best, but that didn't change the pain inside her. The deep, twisting, slicing pain that left her unable to speak or even to think.

"Kate!" Ethan almost moaned her name. She felt his hands on his shoulders as he attempted to pull her into an embrace, but her body remained rigid and her head turned away from him. She loved Ethan, but at that moment, she wanted him to go. She needed him to go.

At last, Ethan took his hands away. She felt the movement of the bed as he stood up. She could still feel him, so close to her, and even though she still wanted him to go, she also wanted him to stay. She wanted to feel his arms around her. She wanted him to tell her it was all a joke. Not that it was funny, but at least if it was a joke, it wouldn't be real.

"I love you," whispered Ethan.

He paused for a moment and she could feel his desperation for a reply and she wanted to give it just to make him feel better – and because it was true, of course. Nothing would stop it from being true.

But the words didn't come.

The next thing she heard was Ethan's feet as he ran out of the room.