*WARNING* This chapter might be a trigger from those suffering from an eating disorder. Also, I'm on tumblr now, you can find me at Luvnorb
In the coming weeks, Anakin began to find ways to better hide his deception from Obi-Wan. After his first several days of over training and under eating, the Jedi Master had becoming increasingly suspicious, watching with a sharp eye when Anakin refused food, and voicing his concerns when Anakin spent the day training. Because he knew if Obi-Wan found out what he was up to, the Jedi Master would force him to stop, Anakin adjusted.
He made sure to eat a relatively normal breakfast of oats and maybe an apple, before saying he was going to train and then work on a new podracer. He made sure to talk about how the supposed repairs were going, knowing that Obi-Wan hadn't a clue as to what he was talking about. He even brazenly offered to show the other Jedi the racer, knowing Obi-Wan would decline.
He began to keep several pairs of clothing at his old rooms in the Jedi temple, making sure to wash up enough before heading back to the ship so Obi-Wan would remain unaware that he had spent the entire day training. At night, he would enthusiastically eat whatever Obi-Wan had decided to make, and then as soon as he was able, he would make his way to the 'fresher and vomit up what he had consumed.
All of this effort meant he was weaker than ever, his weight dropping so quickly that he took to wearing heavy robes to disguise his weight loss. Any time Obi-Wan went to touch him, he would shy away, knowing the hurt it caused the other Jedi, but not willing to let him know just how thin he had become. Despite all of this, Anakin had never felt more in control of his body, and it was an incredible high. He became obsessed, relishing the fact that he was in complete control over his own body, he loved the way his muscles shook, how he struggled doing even the most mundane task, because as long as he was weak, Obi-Wan was safe.
Everything would have been close to perfect for Anakin, except for the problem that was Quinlan Vos. Despite the other Jedi's wounds having been fully healed a week ago, the other Jedi seemed perfectly content to stay with them, or rather, Obi-Wan. Despite his weakened state, Anakin could feel his anger rise whenever he came back to the ship and found Vos sitting unusually close to Obi-Wan on the couch. He knew it wasn't fair of him to feel such anger, after all, if the other Jedi made Obi-Wan happy, who was he to interfer? Even so, when he came home after a particularly grueling workout, he couldn't help the irritation he felt when Obi-Wan laughed loudly at something Vos had said.
Anakin remained standing in the doorway, watching the light play through Obi-Wan's beautiful hair, the way the amber strands glistened in the light was mesmerizing, as was the way the Jedi's eyes were alight with happiness. He truly was the most beautiful man Anakin had ever laid eyes on. As if sensing his gaze, Obi-Wan turned, the relaxed look leaving him when their eyes met. "Anakin." he said the name softly.
"Master." Anakin returned, pleased at the fact that he didn't sound as breathless as he felt.
"I left some stew on the stove for you."
"It smells great, thank you."
Obi-Wan opened his mouth to say something else, but then Vos was once again stealing his attention, whatever he was saying had the older Jedi laughing once more. Turning away from them, Anakin put some stew in a bowl in case Obi-Wan was watching, and then went to his room, dumping the dinner into the toilet and quickly flushing it down. Feeling more exhausted than he had in a long time, Anakin undressed before he sank to his knees on the fresher floor, ignoring the chill that spread through him. The room had started to spin, and breathing had become more of a chore than he was used to. Thinking he must just need sleep, and unable to think of a reason why not to, Anakin let his body flop down onto the bathroom floor, eyes too heavy to hold open. Yes, just a second to close his eyes and then he would feel better.
Obi-Wan was in the middle of a sentence with Quinlan when he felt Anakin's life force flicker dangerously. Muttering a quick excuse he left Vos and went in search of the younger Jedi. When he saw the other man lying on the floor, he almost had to do a double take. When had Anakin gotten so thin? He quickly stepped forward and pulled the younger man into his arms, trying not to think of how much easier it was to carry Anakin now than it was just a month ago.
As he laid the younger man down on the bed, he finally saw the piece of heavy metal on Anakin's wrist, he found himself at a true loss for words. He touched the metal hesitantly, wondering just how Anakin had managed to make it so small. Staring at the harsh metal, Obi-Wan could only blame himself. He had let his feelings for the other Jedi consume him, and in doing so, he wasn't thinking clearly on what Anakin needed. Despite his progress, the younger Jedi was still recovering-and would be for some time- from being held against his will for months on end. He needed stability, and that was something Obi-Wan had failed to give.
Well, he had failed his former Padawan enough, he decided. With gentle hands, he picked up Anakin, cradling the younger man against his chest as he climbed into bed with him. He pulled the blanket over them, enjoying the warmth of having Anakin against his chest, head tucked under his chin. He placed a soft kiss to Anakin's curls and then rubbed the younger mans back while he stared off into the darkness. He needed to find a way to reach Anakin, and the force knows the boy had always been stubborn, although with structure and praise he always seemed to thrive. As an idea formed in his head, Obi-Wan grinned in the darkness.
Anakin awoke to the feeling of being incredibly warm. Groggily he opened his eyes, dismayed and surprised to find Obi-Wan flush against his back, arm draped over Anakin's hip, his eyes unblinking as he returned the younger Jedi's stare.
"Obi-Wan, I told you I didn't want you in here." He protested weakly, struggling to put some space between them.
The Jedi Master seemed to be oblivious to his words, instead he merely stared down at Anakin for a minute before speaking. "If anything I say or do becomes too much, you need to say Red."
"What are you-"
"If anything I say or do becomes too much, you need to say Red and I will stop immediately." Obi-Wan repeated. "If it's getting close to becoming too much, I need you to say yellow. Do you understand?"
"Sure." Anakin said, looking at Obi-Wan as if he had grown another head.
"Repeat it back, so I'm sure you were listening." Obi-Wan said, not unkindly.
"Red for stop, yellow for take it easy." Anakin repeated back dutifully, raising his eyebrows when Obi-Wan gently took his hands and bound them in a length of cloth, and then slowly raising the younger Jedi's hands behind him, tethering him to the headboard so that his long body was spread beautifully across the bed.
"Is this okay?" Obi-Wan asked softly, taking a hand to cup Anakin's cheek, a small smile crossing his features when the younger man nuzzled at his hand.
"Yes, this is okay." Anakin murmured, sounding somewhat breathless.
"Good." Obi-Wan said softly, "because we have some things we need to discuss." He said, looking pointedly at the force inhibitor still on Anakin's wrist.
"That's nothi-" Anakin's words were cut off when Obi-Wan slapped him harshly across the face.
"I never said you could speak." Obi-Wan reprimanded, noticing that he had Anakin's full attention now. The younger man's eyes were wide, but focused. Obi-Wan put his finger under Anakin's chin, making sure he was listening. "Remember, red for stop, yellow for take it easy." He waited until Anakin nodded before removing his hand. He let his hands drift over the younger mans chest, letting his disappointment show.
"You've done yourself a lot of harm, dear one." He murmured, tracing down Anakin's too thin arm until his path was blocked by the inhibitor bracelet. "What is the reason for this?" When Anakin seemed hesitant to answer, Obi-Wan nodded. "You may respond when I ask you a question."
Anakin licked his lips nervously, "to keep you safe."
Obi-Wan raised his eyebrows at the confession. "And you think that starving yourself and reducing your connection to the force will make me safer?"
"Yes."
"Yes, Sir." Obi-Wan corrected gently.
"Yes, Sir." Anakin whispered back quickly.
"Oh my dear Anakin." Obi-Wan sighed, "what you are doing to yourself is making me more vulnerable, not less." When Anakin makes a sound of protest Obi-Wan looks at him sharply, reminding him that speaking out of turn was not permuted.
"You are deliberately hurting the man that I love. That hurts me, Anakin." He could tell that that argument wouldn't hold much sway over the young Jedi, so he continued to press. "If there was an attack, you would be all but useless. I would be forced to defend both of us instead of being able to rely on you for backup." By the sudden worried look in the young man's eyes, Obi-Wan knew that wasn't something he had considered.
"Do you want to be unable to protect me?" Obi-Wan asked softly, trailing his fingers back up Anakin's arms, watching as goosebumps followed the trail.
"No." Anakin whispered. When Obi-Wan slapped him lightly he quickly muttered, "no, Sir."
Obi-Wan stared at the other man idly as he continued trailing over Anakin's chest, letting his thumb caress over the younger man's nipple, quickly covering a smile when Anakin let out a gasp. "Do you want me to worry over you?"
"N-no, Sir." Anakin said, voice beautifully breathless.
"Good." Obi-Wan said softly, before replacing his thumb with his mouth. Anakin let out a harsh moan, his body bending off the table at the touch. Reaching across the younger man's chest, Obi-Wan continued to lave his nipple while tweaking the other, eliciting another throaty moan from Anakin.
"You will start eating again." Obi-Wan murmured softly in Anakin's ear, gently nibbling on the lobe. When Anakin only moaned, he stopped what he was doing, causing Anakin to whine softly. "Say, yes Sir."
"Yes, Sir." Came the breathy moan.
"You will ease up on your training until I say otherwise."
"Yes, Sir."
"You will take of this horrid force inhibitor."
For a moment Anakin seemed to hesitate, but only for a moment before he was once again murmuring a "yes, Sir."
"Good, dear one." Said Obi-Wan approvingly, watching as Anakin melted under the praise. With deft fingers he quickly undid the clasp of the inhibitor bracelet, sighing with relief when Anakin's presence flared to life around him. Moving slowly so the younger man would have plenty of time to use the safeword, Obi-Wan trailed kisses down Anakin's chest, stopping just before he reached the other mans length.
"Is this okay?" He asked gently.
Anakin stared down at him, eyes wide, his chest moving rapidly with his desire. "Yes, Sir."
"Good boy." Obi-Wan murmured, before ever so slowly taking Anakin's rigid cock into his mouth, loving the throaty moan that accompanied his action. Using his hand, he pumped the length while he licked and sucked Anakin. He waited until Anakin was at the brink of an orgasm before stopping, waiting until the need subsided before bringing Anakin to the edge once more. This happened several times before finally he let the younger man have his relief. Enjoying the way Anakin shouted Obi-Wan's name as he came.
When Anakin's shuddering ceased, Obi-Wan untied his wrist and massaged them gently, bringing back any circulation that might have been restricted, before pulling Anakin to him and looking into the others mans eyes with concern. "Was that okay, Anakin?" He asked, suddenly uncertain as he saw the tears in Anakin's eyes.
"Yes," Anakin said with a shuddering breath, tears falling freely now. "It was absolutely perfect, Obi-Wan." He said, and then he let his sobs flow as Obi-Wan took him in his arms and held him close. Whispering about how good he was and that he was just perfect and all the things Anakin ever wanted to hear from his Master. When his sobbing subsided, he allowed the other Jedi to lead him into the fresher and into the bath, beyond grateful when Obi-Wan sank into the tub behind him and once again held him close.
To be continued...