A/N: Now, I'm not going to pretend I know what the hell I just wrote, but I will confidently say that I posted it at the behest of the most excellent Joeneauxvieve. She is a gem.
IF you do not understand what the hell this is supposed to be, then you are not alone. I too am lost. The next chapter will be better and should technically come chronologically before this one but fuck it!
Enjoy!
If You're Hearing This - Hook N' Sling
"-so then he asked if I was going out with Nikiforov and I mean, come on, I might have caused a lot of drama in the past but that's just ridiculous." Yuuko broke into another fit of giggles, one that Yuuri regarded with a grin of his own.
"He-" Yuuko gasped, trying to catch her breath. "He sounds like such- Such a cute little muffin." Wiping tears from her eyes, the woman managed, "Are you sure he's even a member of the press? He sounds like he's seventeen."
"He looked like he was seventeen!" Yuuri insisted, smiling from ear to ear as he recounted his meeting with Minami the night before. "I can't believe he's even legal, let alone a tabloid reporter." Shaking his head, Yuuri continued, "Anyway, after I got that idea out of his head he started quizzing me on my love life, which lead to Viktor."
Yuuko picked her head up from the table quickly to give him a wide-eyed look. "You talked about him? Please don't tell me you gave Minami his name, you-"
"I'm not stupid," Yuuri reassured her. "I wouldn't do something like that. But yeah, I did talk about him." Quirking his mouth up in remembered confusion, the Ravenette added, "He got really really excited about it actually, it was sort of weird."
At that, Axel Loop and Lutz looked up from where they sat against the wall opposite the cheap armchairs Yuuko and Yuuri were sitting in. They'd once again had to come with Yuuko and Yuuri to the community college and were making use of the wifi to surf the internet together. Of course, now that they'd been distracted, Yuuri had a feeling they weren't about to go back to ignoring his and their mother's conversation.
"Minami was excited about Viktor?" Axel clarified, a serious expression on her face.
"Did he seem like he knew who Viktor was?" Loop asked quickly, her eyebrows raised and her head tilted to the side.
"Did you describe him?" Lutz demanded, looking up from the phone her sisters and her shared. "If you did, how much detail?"
Laughing at how worried they seemed, Yuuri put his hands out in a placating manner. "It's not that big a deal. He didn't say that he knew Viktor and even if he thinks he does, I didn't give him a name, now did I? It's nothing."
"Did you tell Minami you were in love?" Yuuko asked curiously before clapping her hands over her mouth. "Oh! I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-"
Waving off her concerns at mentioning the dreaded L-word, Yuuri ducked his head and admitted, "Well... Yeah, I guess I did. He sort of guessed on his own though. I actually told him very little, most of what he found out was just stuff he guessed correctly." Shrugging, he said, "I dunno, I mean, I'm not going to tell Viktor because he just doesn't feel the same way and I don't want to make things awkward but," his mouth lifted in a smile but his eyes were sad. "I guess talking to other people about it makes it seem a little less scary."
"That makes sense," Yuuko agreed at once, bobbing her head up and down. "I mean, sometimes getting things like that out in the open makes them more real and you know, tangible. Like you're able to deal with them when you know what you're dealing with." From across the room, the triplets nodded.
"Besides," Loop piped up without even looking up from the phone Lutz was holding up between them. "It's totally normal to fall in love with someone like Viktor." The way she said it, it made Yuuri chuckle. She doesn't even know him and yet it's like she understands.
"Honestly, with how he acts around you, it's more surprising that he isn't in love as well," Axel added, her words sounding unbelievably casual for the subject matter they contained. Yuuri instantly opened his mouth to protest before he was cut off by her. "I mean, I know that you're pretty sure you know how he feels but still..."
Well, I mean, she's sort of got a point, but Viktor's not normal. Just because this isn't a normal fling doesn't mean it isn't one. He's leaving, doesn't that make its end inevitable regardless?
"Especially considering you spent last night with him..." Lutz muttered before sticking her tongue between her teeth and typing something into the smartphone at lighting speeds.
At those words, Yuuko turned to gape at him. All Yuuri could do was almost choke before letting out a strangled, "How-"
"Your shirts on backwards," Lutz told him, looking up from the phone to move her eyes over Yuuri. "You only do that when something big distracts you in the morning." Opening his mouth in wonder more than anything, Yuuri was about to ask what that was supposed to prove when Loop butted in.
"You had a dopey look on your face when we came to pick you up." She sounded confident in her observations, a proud grin on her face. "You only ever get that look after talking to Viktor. Seeing as you hadn't texted him since the day before-"
"And we checked," Lutz agreed.
"You had to have been talking to him face to face!" Loop concluded, nodding smartly.
"Oh, and there were two coffee mugs out on the kitchen table," Axel added, sounding all too smug.
"So Yuuri," Yuuko cooed, clearly impressed with her daughters' reasoning skills. "Anything to add?"
"I would have told you eventually!" Yuuri insisted, glaring at the triplets for ratting him out so effectively. They all just flashed him peace signs before going back to their shared cell phone.
"Mhm, sure, just like you would have eventually told me about everything else." Yuuko cranked her eyebrows up. "So what were you and Viktor doing?" Coloring deeply at what she was implying, only getting more embarrassed as he thought of the meaningful looks Viktor had given him earlier, Yuuri spluttered.
"Nothing!" he insisted when she laughed darkly at his response. "He and his friends had a disagreement about something. He just needed to get away for a while, that's it." When Yuuko's expression didn't change, Yuuri gave her a pathetic face. "What now?"
"Let me get this straight," Yuuko said, waving her hands, still grinning. "Viktor has a fight with his friends, friends he's had for years before he even met you and yet, when they have a fight, he goes to you for comfort after only knowing you for a week." She raised an eyebrow. "Am I missing something?"
Yuuri's mouth hung open for a moment as he realized that she actually had a point before snapping it shut. "Look," he started, trying to work his mind around her words. Why am I even arguing with her about this, she doesn't actually know anything about this. "I'll admit, it's a little strange, but Viktor's a little strange. He doesn't always act like you'd expect someone to act. Flirting is like his idea of acting normal and being perfect is just something he is naturally. Viktor doesn't make sense, why should this be any different."
Sighing tiredly, Yuuko groaned, "But Yuuuuuurrrriii~" When he just shook his head, she deflated further. "Fine, whatever. I'm just trying to point out the things that you're too stubborn to see. I know how you get and this is no different. Just... Open your eyes or something, Viktor can't be that different, he's a human after all."
"Sometimes I wonder..." Yuuri muttered, effectively ending the conversation.
After that, they sat in awkward silence as Yuuri tried to focus on his English homework and Yuuko pretended to do her History work. Honestly, he'd been purposefully trying to ignore what had happened the night before because Yuuko had a point, it was strange. Yuuri knew that Viktor didn't have any substantial feelings for him past a desire to see him happy but on the other hand, why did they keep getting closer. When had it stopped being something physical and become something so emotional.
Because it wasn't just him, Yuuri couldn't pretend it was. He'd heard Viktor clearly when he'd said he was glad Yuuri could see through him, he could still feel how the man had embraced him, like all he wanted to do was comfort and be close to him. It made Yuuri's heart do stupid things, made him think things that were even stupider. If it really was just a fling, shouldn't they be treating it like it was?
Looking back on it, Yuuri tried to remember if it had ever conformed to any normal ideas about something like this. It hadn't, he didn't even have to think hard about that one. Viktor had always cared, before he'd even kissed Yuuri for the first time, he'd wanted him to be happy first. And then afterward, everything had become a tangled mess of bad memories that Viktor had just accepted, even though Yuuri had been reluctant to bring them up. He'd been happy that Yuuri trusted him, why should he care about something like that? It didn't make sense.
And then just last night, when he'd run right to Yuuri after something bad had happened, why had Viktor thought that was a good idea? Of course Yuuri hadn't cared, he'd been too relieved that Viktor hadn't run away, but at the same time, it had been so domestic. This wasn't supposed to be domestic, it was supposed to burn hot and bright and then go out like all one time things did. How had it even managed to become so natural in the first place?
It all just gave him a headache when he thought about it. He doesn't love you, he's leaving, why should he? It had all the makings of a quick distraction on Viktor's part, but it felt like so much more. No wonder why his friend thinks we're in love... No wonder why they'd mistake Viktor's actions for deeper affection, if Yuuri hadn't known so firmly that it was only temporary, he might have gotten it wrong as well.
I've got to stop this madness...
Or he'd keep waiting, let things play out naturally. No need to make it hurt before he had to. Though, if the pang in his chest was anything to go by, Yuuri knew it already hurt plenty.
"Oh. My. Gosh." Shaking himself from his reverie, Yuuri turned to look at the triplets, all of which had wide eyes and crazy expressions on their faces. "MOM!" They all chorused. "GUESS WHAT WE FOUND!"
"What?" Yuuko asked, looking at them in confusion. "What did you find sweethearts?"
Loop cleared her throat before reading out loud, "Tripped and Fell in Portland: Has the great Mr. Nikiforov found love at last?" She grinned up at them. "The tabloids are going crazy right now, everyone's talking about it!"
"Oh yeah," Yuuri nodded vaguely. "Viktor mentioned seeing the lead singer get accosted or something."
"Really?" Yuuko's head popped up in curiosity. "Well," she directed at her girls. "Are you going to read any more?"
Grinning from ear to ear as well, Lutz read, "Since being unexpectedly delayed in Portland Oregon due to unforeseen complications, there have been rumors flying around the lead singer of the most popular band of this decade, The History Makers."
Axel grabbed the phone from her sister so she could keep reading it. "Mr. Nikiforov seems to have found something a little bit more interesting than scheduling conflicts while stuck in the city. In fact, many speculate that he's found someone more interesting." She looked up at the two of them. "Can you believe this!?"
"Why are we supposed to care?" Yuuri asked slowly, confused. Celebrities had never interested him and gossiping caught his attention even less so. People like Nikiforov didn't need people obsessing over their ever movement and any sane person would pity them instead of joining in.
"Come on Yuuri, I love this band and it's interesting!" Yuuko turned back to her daughters. "Go on! What are the other tabloids saying?"
Loop swiped at the screen. "Nikiforov: Has the Infamous Player Finally Met His Match? The web has been abuzz for days now, pictures are circulating and rumors are flying but the one real question is, has Mr. Nikiforov finally fallen in love?"
"Pictures!?" Yuuko squealed. "Well come on, let me see! Do they have a picture of the person?"
Axel shook her head. "Apparently, whoever it is has managed to stay hidden. That or Nikiforov's keeping them from being seen." Scrolling down, she continued to read. "After numerous reports of the famous singer being seen with an attractive man on his arm, the evidence seems conclusive, someone's managed to tame the untamable."
Yuuri shook his head. "They're being ridiculous, if he wants to fall in love then don't give him crap for it."
"Not everyone is as pragmatic as you," Yuuko informed Yuuri rolling her eyes. "Don't you get it? Mr. Nikiforov never falls in love, he's like... I dunno, he's really flirty and stuff and he always has girls and guys hanging off of him but it's never serious." Turning back to her daughters, she said, in a hushed tone, "Are they sure he's in love?"
"He's been with the same person since he got here," Lutz told her mother knowledgeably. Turning back to the article, she read, "Of course, these speculations were unconfirmed until reporters managed to corner Nikiforov outside of the hotel the band has been staying at."
Yuuri's hands clenched. He didn't even know the guy and yet he knew what it was like. No one deserved something like that and to see his friend and her triplets all eagerly talking about whatever bit of gossip the press had managed to harass out of Nikiforov irked him. And the way Viktor talked about it, he hated it as well... "Does this really matter?" he managed, his face deceivingly calm. "He's just a celebrity, you're probably never going to meet him..."
Loop cut him off. "When asked about it, many of his answers were pleas to not put so much emphasis on his personal life, as expected. Not much rattles this personality giant after all. But finally, he cracked."
Pushing back memories of his own, Yuuri closed his eyes. Oh yeah, he knew that moment, knew the point at which one stupid question hit too close to home and something slipped. There was only so much one person could bear after all. The press was a vicious monster at times and it knew instinctively where those chinks in the armor were. Once they found an in, it was all over. I can't believe they'd talk about something like this, why do they think I want to hear this?
"Tell us! What did they find out?" Yuuko was practically bouncing in her seat. "Who is he? With all this stuff, they know, don't they?"
Axel's grin was almost audible. "Though the exact name wasn't heard," Yuuko huffed in annoyance and one of her daughters made a commiserating sound. "-someone got it right. Nikiforov snapped, telling the press to leave private citizens out of the matter and to not hound after innocents in an attempt to cover up the truth."
Yuuri's heart twisted, even though there was no reason for it to. I wish I'd had someone like that around to protect me... Which was stupid. He really needed to stop equating this perfect random occurrence with his own life but he couldn't help it. I'm glad Nikiforov had the good sense to not let the mob go after whoever he's been seeing. And yet he had a feeling that in the end, it wouldn't matter. This wouldn't stop the tabloids, look how much of a storm they were creating anyway. Another reason I never want to get involved with someone famous, no matter what, there's always a fallout.
Lutz took over. "Though the band's manager has already released an official statement reassuring the public that this won't affect the band over all while also beseeching the press to not target anyone who isn't already a public figure, one fact still remains. Someone out there knows who this mystery lover of Nikiforov's is and is keeping quiet about it."
"This is so crazy!" Yuuko exclaimed, clapping her hands together. "I want to know who it is! It's probably another celebrity, I mean, who else would have gotten his attention like that?"
"It's also super adorable that he's being so protective of him." Loop giggled. "C'mon Yuuri~ isn't this adorable? You're not the only one in this city who's in love."
"I wonder if whoever he's in love with likes him back?" Axel squealed. "I wonder if they know they're in love?"
"Whoever it is," Yuuri ground out, his voice strained. "I hope they're ready for the crap that's about to come their way." He hadn't meant it to come out so harshly, but the moment he spoke, Yuuko let out a breath.
"Oh... Yuuri, I- We never meant to-" Seeming to finally realize how insensitive the four of them had been acting, Yuuko threw her daughters a look before putting a hand on Yuuri's knee. "Yuuri, it's different here, whoever they are, they've got Nikiforov on their side, as well as the rest of the band probably. It's not like what happened to you." When he still wouldn't look at her, she let out a puff of air as if she didn't know what else to say.
"Okay, but let's look at it differently. What ifViktorwas famous and the press came after you again," Lutz said suddenly, her tone taking a curious tone to it.
"Yeah," said Loop, seizing onto her sister's analogy. "Think about it like that Yuuri, don't think about it like that stuff last year. Those things don't mean anything in this circumstance."
"Don't you think Viktor would stick up for you?" Axel asked plaintively, her eyes going wide and earnest as Yuuri turned to look at her.
"I don't know," Yuuri muttered bitterly, gaze falling to the ground.
"Yes you do!" Yuuko snapped, her hand abandoning his knee so she could smack the table beside them. Though he shouldn't have, Yuuri jumped at the sound. "You and I both know that whatever else you do or don't believe about how that man feels about you, Viktor would protect you in an instant!" When Yuuri raised his eyes to her face, she huffed. "You know, some days I think you're fine and others I can tell you haven't moved on from the past at all."
Ruffling, Yuuri protested, "I have moved on! Can't you see what this whole thing with Viktor has been since the beginning? This has been me moving on." He'd never put it into as many words before but the moment he said them, he knew they were true. Opening up to Viktor, that had been a choice, however unconscious, to let the past go. Sure, he was dealing with the fact that he'd managed to fall in love with the man but for all intents and purposes, Yuuri was over Phichit.
"Then stop acting like you're terrified of an entity that has nothing to do with you right now," Yuuko told him stubbornly. "Because news flash Yuuri, that's not moving on. That's lying to yourself and pretending like you're over it just so you don't have to face the sh-stuff you've been through."
"Yeah Yuuri," Lutz intoned. "Stop avoiding your problems."
Yuuko shot her daughter a disapproving look. "Not helping~"
"No," Yuuri said, raising his hand, not wanting to cause a fight because of his own issues. "You're right, I shouldn't have gotten so offended over it. It-" he bit his lip for a moment as he wondered why he even felt so defensive about the whole thing. "It's just another celebrity that I don't even know in the first place. Whatever happens to Nikiforov and whoever he's seeing isn't my problem." Now that he was thinking it through, Yuuri felt unbelievably silly for having gotten worked up over something like that.
"We're still sorry for bringing it up," Loop said uncertainly, almost as if waiting for her mother to get upset with her.
"It's fine," Yuuri muttered, dragging his hand through his hair. Clenching at the raven strands, he added, "Y-you're right Yuuko, I do know." His eyes were full of pain as he looked up her. "Viktor would protect me if it were me in that position because he does care. That's what makes this whole thing so complicated."
"How is that complicated?" Axel asked in confusion. "Viktor cares about you, end of story."
"But that's just it, that is the end of the story." He couldn't help but sound miserable. "For him, that's all that this is, for me..." Yuuri trailed off, he didn't need to finish that sentence. Sighing, he admitted, "We're going on a date tonight, then he's leaving for a few days. Maybe I'll be able to get myself together then."
"It's not that simple," Yuuko started, her eyebrows furrowing together. "You can't just get over him."
"Yeah well maybe I can. Maybe I'm not as in love as I thought I was." Yuuri's expression was pained. "I'm just sick of it hurting every time I'm around him." And yet by the same token it doesn't hurt when I'm around him, it feels better, warmer, happier. I can forget. "And I'm tired of it feeling worse when he's not there."
Yuuko looked at him sadly. "You know that we just want you to be happy, right?"
Yuuri offered her a weak smile before looking back down at his homework. He knew, but that didn't mean he was.
In his pocket, his phone buzzed, but he ignored it.
A/N: But it's all a fucking fever dream so who cares?