Keeping a close eye on the clock on the wall, Arizona snapped off her gloves that she had been wearing to tend to a man's sutures in the emergency room with a bright, dimpled smile, "All right, Mr. Rojas, a nurse will be over in just a few moments to bring you your discharge papers, and you should be all set."
The older man sighed, his eyes glued to the gash on his leg that was now sewn up and covered with a bandage, "Thank you Dr. Robbins."
Tapping her fingers lightly against the prescription pad in the pocket of her lab coat, she asked, "Are you positive you don't want anything for the pain?" She'd already asked him three times, but every time he staunchly refused.
Which he did again, and just laid his head back against the pillow, "No. I'll be just fine."
Flicking her eyes to the clock, that just struck six, she bounced from her heels to her tiptoes, then back, "Okay. Take it easy, now, like I said earlier, no straining your leg, light physical activity for the next few days."
He nodded, and she wished him a goodnight, her mind already on her projected evening, as she reached out, swinging the curtain surrounding the bed back. She had the next twenty-four hours off, her second time with a full day in two months, and this time she planned on taking full advantage of it.
The last two weeks had been still strained between them, since that night. That fight. That god-awful fight. But they'd been working on it, on all of the things they'd both brought up even while in anger… and it was still hard. Especially now, because Callie's classes had started a little over a week ago and now their schedules were out of both of their hands. But they'd made promises – Callie rarely was with Natalie outside of study group, and Arizona hadn't stayed at the hospital during her off time in two weeks.
Which was also hard, because she could see on the board when she came back in for her following shift all of the patients and surgeries that would come in during her off time. Things that she had missed out on. But sacrifices had to be made, right?
And she would think of the words her girlfriend had thrown out to her, about how Callie felt like she was putting more into them. Which still made her angry, because if anyone in this world should know how she felt, how strongly she felt, it should be Callie. But a little part of her could see where her girlfriend was coming from.
Which was why Arizona had made the plans for tonight. Their sex-iversary. On her last day off, she'd gone about setting everything up, as cheesy romantic as she could possibly get; she bought Callie's favorite wine, made a playlist of all slow, romantic songs that made her think of her girlfriend, and then there was the lingerie. She had purchased some really, really fabulous lingerie for the occasion.
Callie was planning on coming to her apartment at seven, which gave her an hour to get home, shower the hospital smell from her body, set up her apartment, and change. It would be cutting it a little close, but if she hurried –
As she was about to exit the doors of the ER, Chief Tamas hurried past her, her stride breaking it's quick pace to give her a quick appraisal, "Dr. Robbins, you're on this incoming case with me. A ten year old girl, being transferred in. She's getting her adenoids removed. Let's hustle!"
Her foot automatically stepped out to follow the chief before she stopped herself. Callie. Sex-iversary. Lingerie. Unsure of which direction to go in, she simply stood in the same spot. How did she let down her girlfriend again when she was expecting her, but how could she not follow the chief of surgery herself telling her she wanted her to assist in a surgery?
Tamas turned around once more, lines of irritation clearly forming around her mouth, on her forehead, "Are you coming or not, Robbins?"
"I – um…" the words stuck in her throat, until she lightly shook her head to clear it, "My shift just ended, so I was on my way out."
The older woman tilted her head in a way that shouldn't be intimidating by itself, but was, "If you don't want to assist me I can always find another intern –"
"No! No, I can do it," the words tumbled out of her mouth, as she squeezed her eyes tightly closed, images of the way she'd imagined her night – the amazing night she'd had planned out in her head – drifting away.
As the chief nodded at her, somewhat impatiently, she turned and continued on her walk out the door. Slowly, feeling as if simply moving her hands was like moving them through water, she reached into her pocket for her phone, drawing it out and staring at Callie' contact information as seconds ticked by.
Biting her lip, hard, she nearly stomped her foot in frustration. Why couldn't she be in two damn places at once? She didn't want to cancel on her girlfriend. She didn't want to not see her tonight and be blowing her off. She wanted to give Callie a sex-iversary that blew her mind and put all of the crappy stress they'd been dealing with behind them. But she also wanted to assist in an adenoid removal surgery, and there was no turning that down.
Keeping an eye on the doors, to make sure that the ambulance hadn't arrived yet, she quickly pressed the call button. Even if she was going to cancel their plans, or postpone them depending on Callie's mood, she couldn't do it through text. She wanted to hear Callie's voice, and for her girlfriend to hear hers and know that she didn't want this, all the way. She needed Callie to know that she was sorry.
Except Callie's phone went straight to voicemail, just as the flashing ambulance lights came into her view from the trauma bay. Closing her eyes briefly, she took in a deep breath, "Calliope… I'm sorry. More than anything, I didn't want to cancel on you tonight. I – I had our whole sex-iversary night planned out for us, and I know we had plans at seven, but –"
The trauma doors opened and the chief made eye contact with her, calling out, "Robbins, let's go!" as she walked by her hand clasping the hospital bed.
Unable to stop a groan, she returned to her message, "But the chief asked me to assist her in a surgery. It just happened, a minute ago, and I can't give that up. I just can't pass that opportunity. Please, please try to understand. I love you. So much. And I'll let you know as soon as I'm done, I swear. Okay? I love you," she repeated before ending the message and banging the phone against her forehead a few times.
Sighing, she brought her phone back to her pocket, then ran in the direction that Tamas had gone in with the little girl. Why the hell couldn't she be in two places at once?
Finishing the last careful curl of her hair, Callie put down the curling iron, switching it off, and leaning back, lifting her hand to tussle the curls gently. Then she stepped back completely, looking at herself in the mirror. She looked damn good tonight; she wanted to blow her girlfriend's mind, and remind her that she loved her so fucking much, despite how terrible she felt about their last fight.
Even though it was two weeks ago, it still dug at her, what she'd said. Leaving the bathroom, she went back into the bedroom, picking up her phone. And her stomach sank just seeing that she had a missed call from Arizona, and a voicemail. When the voicemail confirmed for her what she'd been thinking, she didn't know how or why, but she found herself on a mission.
Which was how she wound up in the gallery, looking down into the operating room, her arms wrapped around herself, looking down at Arizona. Her blue eyes had this sparkle in them as she looked down at the little girl on the table. A similar sparkle to what her eyes looked like when they looked at her, but slightly different. Just as intense, but slightly different.
Her own eyes zeroed in on the way her girlfriend's gloved ones held a scalpel as she assisted Dr. Tamas. She was an intern, only a couple of months in, but her hands were so steady. So sure and capable, and Callie loved them. Any irritation or simply upset she'd had – not really at Arizona but more just because of what was going on with them – just… drifted away as she illegally watched the surgery.
Technically, she'd observed surgeries before from the gallery, so it really wasn't illegal, she assured herself. Medical students during clinicals did things like observe, so it wasn't that bad of her to be here, right?
Her attention went back to what was happening down below, and her hand lightly pressed against the glass as she watched her girlfriend work, her stomach feeling that warm feeling that she so often had when she thought about or simply looked at Arizona. It was the best kind of feeling. Familiar and safe, and she reveled in it.
"What are you doing in here?" a voice asked from the doorway and she jumped. Spinning around, she recognized Dr. Rachel Hayden, arms crossed over her chest, glaring at her. "How did you get in here?"
Callie looked down at herself, dressed in her school-issued scrubs. Harvard Med students were all over this place, and most people didn't ask questions. It had been remarkably easy for her to get in here, actually. Instead of answering, she looked away from her, down at her girlfriend, "I just came to see her at work. It sounds silly."
It sounded silly maybe, but seeing the blonde down there just made things better for her, somehow. She could see, firsthand, how it was for her girlfriend when she couldn't come home. And she knew Arizona would be there with her, if she could. But it just wasn't that easy all the time, and she shouldn't hold it against her. Seeing her down there, her gloved hands moving, her hair in the scrub cap… it made it easier.
This was Arizona's reality, the side that she didn't get to see or be a part of for now. And she could feel it in herself, being this close to a surgery, even made her tingle with excitement. She couldn't even imagine what it was like for her girlfriend, who experienced this feeling – only more – firsthand almost daily.
Rachel came up next to her, her head stopping below Callie's nose, her build so slight, and yet her personality made her seem bigger, "She is pretty amazing."
Now turning her head, she narrowed her eyes at the woman. She didn't trust her. Arizona had told her the whole story, and she'd drawn her own conclusions about how much Rachel had cared for Arizona and – her believe – still cared about her. She watched the other woman's eyes behind the glasses drink in the blonde below, and she hated it. And she knew without a doubt that Rachel had come in here to see Arizona work.
Then there was that frustration at the fact that this wasn't a Natalie situation where she could ask Arizona to not be with Rachel, because they had to be around each other for over eighty hours a week.
The other woman spoke again, "I heard it's been tough for you two."
Glancing at her, she couldn't help but notice she slight satisfaction written on her face, "Well, Arizona's busy here, and it's… an adjustment."
"A hard one," Rachel nodded, crossing her arms, looking at Callie, "I honestly do not know one couple from my intern year who is still together. Dating an intern is hard, it's like being in a long-distance relationship."
"Believe me, I know," she muttered, looking back down at Arizona.
Hayden clucked her tongue, "She has a rough time. Trying to juggle you and being here, keeping up with the others. It's obvious how much she's struggling with the balance."
Looking at the short woman out of the corner of her eyes, she didn't like hearing this. She knew it was hard for Arizona, balancing everything. And she knew she hadn't been making it easy. But she would, she thought. She would make it easier, somehow.
Rachel didn't wait for a response before she continued, "Sometimes I wonder whether or not she's going to be able to make it through the year with how much trouble she has, always leaving the hospital right away to go home…"
Looking at her sharply, she felt insulted on Arizona's behalf, "She'll make it," she assured curtly, looking back down. Look at her, she thought, proudly. How could she not?
"I hope so. She has a lot of promise; skill. But it's not all skill. It's about dedication, and being able to pull the long hours, the extra time here even when you're not on. Which is where I'm – and others – are already starting to see her fall behind," Rachel said, with a light sigh, "It's a shame. She could be one of the best, but something has got to change."
Callie stared at her, all semblance of that nice warm feeling gone now, nerves edging in. Nerves for and about Arizona's career… it was only two months in and it was already on the line? But she didn't have time to say anything, as Rachel's pager sounded. They both looked down at it, and the smaller woman read it, then turned on her heel, "Have to go."
She stood at the door, propping it open with her foot, as Callie stood in the same place. Rachel cleared her throat, getting Callie's attention, "I have to go, and so do you. Come on."
Throwing one last look down at her girlfriend, she trudged forward, hating the feeling in the pit of her stomach and the thoughts whispering in the back of her mind.
The surgery had gone well, and it was over quickly. Well, hours later than she'd planned to be leaving the hospital, but still relatively quickly. And she didn't take time to hang around afterwards, as she sometimes did after surgeries to rub them into Alex's face, as he did she same to her. No.
She practically flew to the locker room, seeing that it was nearly three hours after she'd originally gotten off. Her scrub top was already being lifted from her body before the door behind her had closed, and she reached for her phone, just standing in her bra in front of her open locker, texting Callie as quickly as she could, I just got out of surgery and I'm going over to my apartment right now. If you want to meet me there. But I understand if you're mad.
The receiving text she got wasn't what she was expecting at all, I'm already at your apartment. And I'm not mad.
Feeling like she should be happy that Callie wasn't mad, said feelings just weren't happening. Because she just felt… bad. Her stomach clench so tightly she felt sick, and her eyes were glued to her phone, Are you sure?
I'm positive, was Callie's affirming text, which should have assuaged all of the bad feelings swirling around inside of her, but didn't. Her girlfriend wasn't really in the habit of telling her she wasn't mad when she was. Especially in the last few weeks, when they'd both been trying to be really open with what was going on with what they were feeling.
Without stopping to so much as make small talk with anyone she saw on her way out of the hospital, she beelined for the exit. Her journey home was quick, quicker than usual, because she wanted to see Callie, and make sure that she could apologize in person for breaking the promise she'd made to her a couple of weeks ago, and just… be able to be with her. With all of the stress that had been between then recently, it was all she wanted to just be with Callie in their off time. Even if tonight couldn't go according to what she'd had planned, at least Callie was going to be there.
Opening her door slowly, she immediately spotted her girlfriend, standing in the small hallway a few feet from the door. Giving her a small smile, confused as to why she was standing, waiting for her, instead of watching television or lying in bed or doing something, the first words that were out of her mouth were an apology, "Calliope, I didn't mean to… I'm so sorry. It's just that Chief Tamas asked me, specifically, to go into the OR with her. Not even a resident or an attending, but me," she finished, feeling conflicting giddiness at the way being chosen by Chief Tamas and assisting in a surgery, and guilt at having stood up Callie. Again.
But Callie simply shook her head, "Don't… don't apologize," she said, her voice tight, the sound of it only rivaling the way she'd heard it when she'd been talking to her father months ago in the Hamptons. The sound of emotions being held back, and of her throat sounding like it was raw just trying to hold in her tears.
And she really hated the sound of it, simply on principle. Because she hated that Callie was hurting, and she hated more than anything that she was the cause of that, "I can't help it. I feel… I don't like making you upset, and I can't not feel sorry when I know that I hurt you, even if I didn't mean it," she struggled to articulate the words, especially when Callie dipped her head, avoiding eye contact with her. Which her girlfriend never did.
When those dark brown eyes did look at her, they made her heart stop, as Callie shook her head, "I don't want you to feel bad for something that you should be proud of. This is everything to you right now, and it should be. Your intern year should be everything. And it shouldn't be about you worrying about having to make time for me. But at the same time, I can't spend every time we have plans looking forward to them, and getting ready for them, only to be – be sitting by myself, waiting for you."
For the first time, blue eyes flickered past her girlfriend to spot a packed bag behind her, leaning against the wall, and then she just felt like freezing cold weights plunked down into her stomach, and she didn't know if she'd ever felt as instantly nauseous as she did at that moment. Not even when she'd walked in on Joanne cheating on her, either time.
Her tongue felt thick, like she could barely push out words anymore, and she shook her head, snapping her eyes back to Callie's face and being able to just see that what she thought was correct, "No. No, no, no, no. Calliope –" it was all she could manage to get out before her throat felt like it was closing, and tears were already clouding her vision, and when they fell down her face, she didn't bother to wipe them away because she wasn't even sure she could move her arms that that point.
"What if taking a break is the best thing right now?" Callie's voice cracked as she proposed the words, and Arizona's eyes, glued to her face, watched as her girlfriend crumbled, her shoulders hunching, hands coming up furiously to wipe under her eyes, "I have so much to think about with this being my last year, and sometimes I can barely think about my work, when all I think about is missing you."
Shaking her head, her mouth fell open, searching for any words to say that could make this better. But she had no promises to make, "I – I this is my intern year. When things come up, like those surgeries, I can't just say no. I need them, I… need them," she finished quietly, unable to find anything else to say while her heart pounded so hard she felt light headed. They sounded like she was pleading, and she was. She was begging – wanting, no, needing – Callie to understand where she was coming from. Needing her to take the bag that was sitting there, probably full of her clothes and all of the other items she'd left here in the last few months, and dump it out. Needing her to say that this was just some weird, incredibly cruel, sick joke.
But she didn't. Instead, she closed the gap between them, her warm hands coming to cup Arizona's cheeks, and Arizona blindly stumbled forward into the touch, seeking more, as Callie stroked her thumbs slowly over her skin in circles, as if trying to commit the feeling to memory, "I wouldn't ask you to give that up. You can't give up something like your residency, and you can't drop the ball on it. I would never ask you to give that up. Which is why I have to give you up, right now. Because that's your life right now, and that's what it should be."
Fiercely shaking her head, pulling it out of her girlfriend's hands, she hastily brought her hands up, rubbing them over her eyes, rubbing away the tears that wouldn't stop coming, as she still felt like she was going to be sick, "No, you don't have to give me up. Please. We'll be better – I'll be better," she promised, her voice coming in scratchy and low.
Callie's eyes bore into her, the red-rimmed brown shining down at her, as tan hands came back to the blonde's body again, this time resting gently on her hips, hands flexing gently, "It's not about being better... You're already better – you're the best. And you want to be the best girlfriend for me and the best intern in the program, but you can't be both, because it's just too much, and I can't do that to you," she cut herself off with a choking sound, pausing for several seconds before being able to continue, "You've been working toward this for your entire life; it deserves everything you have to give it without feeling like you're letting me down in the process."
Feeling long fingers against her hips, even though her pants, broke her, and she closed all of the space between them, her arms shaking, only steadying when they wrapped tightly around that curvy waist, her fingertips digging in. She wasn't sure she'd ever felt this much pain in her chest, and she wondered briefly if she was going to have a heart attack. She held on as tight as she could, with all of her strength, because she was sure that if she just held on long enough, tight enough, she wouldn't have to let go, "When I said I loved you, you told me you weren't going anywhere. I told you that you couldn't leave me. And you are."
She could feel that long body quake against her, "I know," Callie said, her voice breaking, "But it's what you need me to do, even if you can't admit it right now."
And now she loosened her grip, pulling back to look up into her girlfriend's face, "No." The strength of her voice surprised them both, and she dropped her arms from around Callie's waist, "I will never need you to leave me. I need you to stay. I need you."
She watched, her stomach doing more of the cartwheels that she was positive was going to make her vomit at any second, as Callie's eyes filled with fresh tears, and her mouth fell open, "But –"
Stepping back, losing contact altogether, she put her hands on her hips, "The question here, right now, is do you need me?"
"Yes! God, fucking, yes, Arizona. I need you so much that I feel like every word I'm saying tonight is killing me. And I love you so much that I'm trying to do what's best for you here, don't you see that?" now it was her voice that begged, and her eyes stayed on Arizona, pleading with her words for her to see. To understand.
But all Arizona could see in those brown eyes was that love. That shiny-eyed, loving look, that she'd counted on being reflected at her for months, and it was still there. And then, she didn't feel sick anymore, and her tears stopped, as an odd calm settled over her, "I can see that you love me. I can see it whenever you look at me, and I feel it whenever you touch me, but you have the completely wrong idea about where to go from here, with that love."
Callie's eyebrows drew down in confusion, "I – what?"
In response, Arizona simply moved around her, going to pick up that bag and she simply dumped it upside down, "You think you know what's best for me? Well, Calliope, what's best is if we don't take any sort of break. That's not going to make either one of us feel better, at all. And if you think it will, then, sorry, but that's too bad," she shook the bag, watching as the remainder of the clothes fell to the floor, and then she tossed the bag over her shoulder. Satisfied, she rested her hands on her hips, "And frankly, you thinking that you could just tell me that we were breaking up was really stupid of you."
Enjoying the open mouthed look Callie was giving her, she stepped over the pile of belongings and reached for Callie's hands again, a thrill shooting through her when her girlfriend's immediately flipped so they could lock hands, despite her clear, obvious emotional overload. Walking backwards, Arizona led them toward her bedroom, as Callie barely managed to stumble over her words, "I'm not stupid."
"Nope," she agreed with a smile, "But you were being stupid. Because I don't give up in relationships. I am in this, for good. And if I didn't give up on Joanne, for years even though she treated me like crap, what in the world would possess you to think that I was just going to give up on us so easily? So what, it's not easy. There are going to be nights where I'm at the hospital for a long time, and yeah, that's going to bother you," she said, turning them, then pushing Callie back onto the mattress before continuing, "And there are going to be my off days where you're going to be busy with classes or your thesis, and that might bother me. But your eyes twinkle at me, and mine twinkle at you, and even if you had walked out of here tonight, we still wouldn't have been over."
"We wouldn't," Callie parroted, though it wasn't questioning. It was simply a confirmation.
Pulling her top over her head, she put her hands back on her hips, "Now, we're going to celebrate our sex-iversary properly. To celebrate the fact that we aren't broken up and that we won't be breaking up."
Stripping herself quickly, she leaned down, unbuttoning Callie's jeans, starting to tug them down her waist, feeling herself become even more aroused just looking at the delicious, glowing skin revealed with every inch she pulled down. Clearing her incredibly dry throat, she whispered, "You should probably take off your shirt, unless you want me to rip it off."
Trembling caramel hands went up, unbuttoning the shirt, while she laid completely on her back and arched her hips to held Arizona pull off her pants. As soon as they were gone, she reached out and took Callie's shirt from her hands, throwing it over her shoulder, loving the feeling of Callie's eyes raking down her body. Sometimes she felt like Callie was touching her with just a look.
Climbing onto the bed on her knees, she dropped down to a crawl, her legs and arms surrounding Callie's body as she made her way slowly up her body, her voice unintentionally husky as she dipped her head to place an open mouthed kiss on a tan shoulder, then collarbone, then drew her tongue up Callie's neck, savoring the taste on her tongue, before hovering her mouth over her girlfriends, "I had a plan. For our sex-iversary night," she whispered, dipping her head, flicking out her tongue over Callie's top lip, and feeling her girlfriend shiver.
The deep tone of the Latina's voice almost made her shudder, when she asked, "Oh, you did? I saw some champagne and that you set up your iHome with something called Callie's Songs…" she trailed off, gasping when Arizona dipped her head again to pull her top lip into her mouth.
Sucking on it for a few seconds, she released, "I did have all of that planned. But. It can wait. Because I want you now, and I want you to feel how ridiculous the idea of us breaking up is."
Connecting their mouths, their tongues started that familiar dance around each other, and she shifted, resting all of her weight on one hand, as the other traced up a soft, smooth, caramel stomach, coming to cup her breast, then lifting her thumb to swipe over a hardened nipple, the feeling of the tip against her finger making her even wetter.
"Your nipples are hard even before I touch them, Calliope," she said, lowering her head to taste the skin on Callie's jaw leaving her mouth open to speak, "Did you know that?"
As her hand continued to play with her boob, pinching and rolling that nipple in the way that both she and Callie loved, she just felt her girlfriend puff a breath out against her ear, "Uh-huh."
Grinning, she nipped her teeth in, then moved her head south, toward the racing pulse on Callie's neck, switching hands, loving the way Callie bucked up into her, "And I really fucking love your chest. I know you know that, and that I've told you hundreds, probably thousands of times, but… your boobs could stop wars, just because everyone who was supposed to be taking part in them would want to stare."
Feeling Callie's body vibrate under hers in laughter, she sent her a look from under her eyelashes, "I'm not joking. This is a serious matter. I just discovered world peace." She smirked when her girlfriend laughed even harder, then went in, wrapping her lips around the tip that her hand wasn't toying with, sucking her in, tasting her. God, Callie tasted so good.
Switching gears, she moved her mouth to the other breast, this time moving her tongue in circles first, feeling her girlfriend's hips buck up, searching for friction, but she avoided touching her, taking a dark pleasure in the groan that fell from full lips. Lifting her head, she looked up at Callie, who was watching her, eyes so, so dark, "I know how to touch your body. I know what makes you so wet you're practically dripping already without even touching you. And no one else can do that."
Releasing her breath onto the wet tip she'd just released, Callie moaned, her hips arching again. Arizona gave in this time, briefly lowering her hips, touching their cores together, the feeling searing through her as Callie's hands found purchase on her hips, and they thrust together for a few seconds.
But it would be too easy for her to get lost in that feeling, and she pulled away, breathless, "I was right. You are practically dripping; I could feel you."
Callie swallowed hard, "You, too," she panted.
Trailing her lips down her girlfriend's stomach, pausing to suck on the skin of Callie's hip until she left a mark, she lifted her head again, now straddling her girlfriend's long, leg, briefly grinding herself down on it, her clit throbbing with the friction is got, her breath catching in her throat at the feeling, whispering, "Fuck, yes," before lifting herself again, "Of course I'm dripping, Calliope. All you have to do is look at me the right away and I'm ready to fuck you. And no one else can do that to me. Has ever been able to do that to me or would be able to do that to me, ever again."
"Good," she heard her girlfriend moan out, as she bit her teeth into Callie's inner thigh, so close to her heat that she could feel her on her face.
She made quick work of leaving this mark, pressing a kiss to it, "And no one else can do this to you." Turning her head, she used her hands to split Callie's lips open, giving her a long lick, from bottom to top, the taste of her was just so fucking good, and they both moaned. Her face was so close, that every word she spoke, her lips brushed against her girlfriend, "My point here is, we can't break up because there won't be anyone else who could make either one of us feel this way."
Going back in for a taste, she opened her mouth against Callie, drinking her in, before sliding her tongue up and flicking it against her clit a few times, strong hips bucking against her face, as long fingers tangled in her hair, her girlfriend's throaty voice calling out, "Yes! God, fuck, Arizona, yes!"
It had been so long since she'd had the time to just savor Callie. To really taste her, to feel the way her hands would tug her in the direction she needed to go, and she really, really missed it. She took her time, moving her mouth leisurely despite the frantic tugs on her hair. It as Callie's voice that made her stop, as she panted, "Up. Up here. I want to come, with you. Touching you."
Yes. Barely seconds went by before she pressed their bodies together, each other's hands managing to come between them, dipping into wet heat. As soon as she felt Callie's fingers inside of her, blue eyes rolled back, moving with her girlfriend's hand, using her own hips to get more force behind her thrusts into Callie.
Pleasure started to roll through her, the long, rolling waves of it coming with the long, deep thrusts coming from between them. She could feel the orgasm start in her stomach, slowly, tingles going outward to the rest of her body.
"Ari-zona," Callie managed to pant out, as she could feel her walls start to clench around her own fingers, that she had curled inside of her, rubbing against her, "I love – I love, " she started to get out, her mouth falling open on a long, guttural moan, her hips jerking hard against Arizona's as her release hit, the feeling of Callie bucking up hard against her, throwing the blonde headfirst into her orgasm that was no longer coming in slowly, but pounding against her.
Blood roared in her head as she stared, in a daze at the ceiling – wondering when Callie had flipped them – feeling just… magnificently boneless. Like she had melted into the mattress, she thought, still panting for air, feeling a smile on her face as Callie sucked once more on her nipple, lightly, her toes curling at the sheer shocks it sent through her even after she'd experienced that mind-blowing orgasm.
That warm mouth left her, placing a slight kiss right above her heart before that long caramel body slithered up, to her head rested against the same pillow. Feeling more relaxed and secure and at-ease than she had in months, she managed to turn her body into Callie's, the two of them easily falling into position. Callie's leg between hers, her ankle locked around her girlfriends, an arm draped over each other's waists.
Her eyes closed, and she sighed, inching her face forward just enough to press a kiss against Callie's lips, tasting them just briefly before pulling her head back and licking her own lips. She was close to sleep, that fog already starting to drift in, when her girlfriend's thumb moved in a circle on her lower back, before resting against the dimple there, "Arizona?"
"Hmm?" she asked, still drifting between being asleep and awake, her eyes snapping open only when she heard a sniffle, and felt one of Callie's tears drip onto her face.
Immediately awake, she pushed herself up onto her elbow, her hand coming up to wipe under those dark brown eyes, as her girlfriend's mouth opened, "I can't believe I almost left tonight. I – what was I thinking?"
"You were thinking that you were doing the right thing. Obviously, it wasn't. But you were doing the wrong thing for the right reasons," she assured her, smiling, trying to get one in return. When she didn't, she pressed her lips against Callie's forehead, pausing there as she continued to swipe her thumb over her girlfriend's cheek, which only increased the tears.
She shook her head, "I'm an idiot. I really am so s-stupid. I don't want to be without you. But after I talked to Rachel, I just thought –"
Her thumb paused as she registered Callie's words, and she brought her face backwards, so she could see her girlfriend's face, "Rachel? When did you talk to Rachel?"
Callie swallowed twice, her own hand coming up now, brushing against the blonde's as she wiped away her own tears, "Earlier tonight. I, um, I went to the hospital. Because I'm an idiot. And I just wanted to see you there. And Rachel, we talked. It wasn't important."
Blue eyes narrowed, but she let it go, reminding herself that when she went back for her next shift, she was going to have a nice chat with her resident. Bringing herself back to concentrate on Callie, she leaned back in, pressing their foreheads against each other, "Calliope, you didn't give up on me for months, when I didn't think I could even be in love with someone again. You having that doubt, was… extremely unpleasant," she admitted, feeling Callie shakily laugh against her before she went on, "But I'm not going to give up on us, even if you have those moments of doubt."
This time, it was Callie who pulled away, her expression solemn, "I'm done with doubt. Done with it. Arizona, I'm so, so sorry about tonight. And I'll apologize for it as much as you want or need me to. But I love you, and you love me, and for all it might be hard this year and next year, I can't imagine my life without you. And I don't want to. You can be the best intern and the best girlfriend, because you don't even have to try to be the best girlfriend. You already are. I'm sorry," she said, again, closing her eyes.
Leaning in, she slid her hand down, covering Callie's mouth with her fingertips, "Don't apologize. I don't need to hear it anymore. We're good. The last two months have been hard on both of us, and we just needed to find our footing. Hopefully, we have it now."
"We're making it work. I can't go through that… earlier… not again. Even if I don't see you for over a week, we're making it work," she nodded her head, resolutely, and Arizona felt herself smile in response.
Snuggling back down, she pressed her face against her girlfriend's neck, "I'm not going through that again, either. And you weren't completely wrong; I understand that it's not fair for you to be sitting at home for hours, waiting one me. I just don't know how to fix it."
Caramel arms came around her waist, holding tightly, before rolling them so Arizona laid on top of her, "There is no fixing it. It is what it is. And I'll have to do it next year, and this is going to be our life, when we're doctors. It's the new normal. We'll both get used to it, and it'll be fine."
Long fingers worked their way up her back, digging in and massaging in the perfect spots. Dropping her head against her girlfriend's shoulder, she sighed, eyes closing. If there was anything on this planet more relaxing than first having sex with Callie then getting a massage… there wasn't.
Just as she was on that cusp of falling asleep again, Callie's fingers paused, "Arizona?"
"Hmm?" she responded, drowsy.
"Is the offer of moving in still on the table?" Callie asked, once again waking Arizona up very simply.
Staring down at her, she lifted an eyebrow, "Are you sure? I thought... you didn't want to, because it wouldn't feel right."
Callie bit her lip, "We'll talk more about it tomorrow, maybe? But I think maybe it might be right."
It would be right, Arizona thought, because they were right. Nestling her head back down she nodded, "Okay. We'll talk more about it tomorrow."
Please let me know what you think! I appreciate all of the comments and opinions from before, as always. Thank you so much for reading!