Part 2

Autumn Changes

Chapter 14

"Lost time is never found again. I forget who said that."

"Benjamin Franklin." Ziva informed Tony as he sifted through various junk mail and advertisements on his phone. The quote had been in the back of his mind all day, and he was trying to figure out who said it without consulting the internet.

"Why do you say Franklin?"

"Because I know it is Benjamin Franklin. You forget, Tony, I spent months studying the founding fathers of America." She reminded him.

"Well, it's a good quote. Ben was a good guy."

Ziva looked at him incredulously. "The man was someone who could not keep it in his pants. He got his girlfriend pregnant, married her, left her for a country that had not even been founded, cheated on her in France, and made no efforts to contact his son."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"Wow. Bad morals. Good ideas. I can't stand guys who cheat."

"But, I do agree with you. It is a good quote. However, it is not one of my favorites."

"And what is your favorite?" Tony asked curiously.

"Edmund Burke. 'All that is necessary for evil to triumph is that good men do nothing.'" She recited from memory.

"Huh." Tony said, trying to commit that new detail about Ziva to memory. "Anyways, the Ben Franklin quote just stood out to me. You know, living in the moment, smelling the roses. God, I can't wait for you to come home tomorrow."

"Tony, they are only stopping the drug tomorrow. It does not mean I can immediately go home."

"I know that, but when they take the IV out, you can walk around and be liberated. You're gonna love it again. I know you can't wait. It feels like an eternity for me. It must feel like even longer or you." He decided.

"I've managed." She told him with a triumphant smile.

"They say time flies, but it really hasn't been lately."

"And I only hope it will stay that way once I return. There is so much I have to do before I have to start Round 2 of chemo."

"When does that start again, anyways?" Tony asked, looking up from his phone.

"December 16."

"I don't even get a month?"

"Tony, it will be alright."

"Have you talked to the doctor?" he wondered, asking what he usually asked every visit to see if there was any change.

"She has not been in today." She informed him.

"She wasn't in yesterday." He remembered.

"Tony." She sternly said. She didn't want him to act as if she was the most important patient. Ziva understood that doctors had other people to tend to. Tony just wanted to make sure Ziva was taken care of. There was no doubt he cared about the others in the hospital. He just would have preferred a little more attention towards Ziva.

"I just want to know if she's slacking off."

"I can assure you she is not."

"Okay, but if she doesn't come to check in with you in the next two hours, I'm gonna track her down." He threatened.

"And if she's caring for a seven-year-old with leukemia?"

"Then I'll come back to the room."

Ziva smiled. "I finished my book." She told him, changing the conversation.

"Which one?" he asked.

"The one you picked out."

"Did you like it?"

"I have a feeling that you did not just randomly pick out the book because you saw the Hebrew script. This is something that you searched for and spent days waiting for, and I found the sticker on the inside of the cover that says you even purchased it online, directly from Tel Aviv. Not from the Library of Congress." She told him.

His smile faded from his face. He had been caught in a selfless act of love for his girlfriend. He could tell it just meant all the more to Ziva, but he didn't want her to know how hard it was to find it. "There was a sticker?"

"Front page." She answered.

"Oh."

"Thank you. I loved it."

"Did you start the other one?"

"No, but I have been writing in the journal you gave me. I plan to start the other book in the morning."

"About?" he asked.

"The book is about…" she began, but he interrupted her.

"No, not the book. What have you been writing in the journal about?" he inquired, looking to the stand by her bed where it was currently residing.

Ziva gave him a mischievous smile. "Those are my private works." She emphasized the word 'private'. "I believe they are for my eyes only."

"I'm not asking to read it. I just want to know what you're writing about. Just throw something out there. Give me an idea. How much have you written anyways?"

"I have written at least fifteen pages." She picked the journal up from her bedside to confirm. "Actually sixteen. It's mainly how I feel and what I'm thinking about." She flipped through the pages to see if there was anything she had not mentioned. "And you." She quietly added.

Tony's ears perked up. "And what did you say?" he asked innocently.

"My eyes only." She repeated slowly.

"Oh, come on. You wrote it in English, Ziva. You're practically giving me an open invitation." Tony justified. He figured if they were top secret thoughts, she would have written them in Hebrew.

"Tony, I speak more English than I do Hebrew."

"Do you dream in Hebrew?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"You know, when you dream and people say things, does your subconscious have them speak in English or Hebrew?" he wondered. He had a quizzical look on his face, as if the question was suddenly very important to him.

"Hebrew," She answered. "but I will be writing in this journal in English. As for your complaints, I hope you will be able to exercise self-control and avoid temptation. You know what they say. Curiosity killed the….is it bat or cat?" she asked, her nose crinkling in confusion, trying to remember the animal.

"It's cat. Curiosity killed the cat."

"I think bat provides a better image."

"You would think that."

"Tony, we need to make a list of everything we need to do. We will be so busy when I get out of the hospital."

"Not too busy, right? And if we plan out everything, we won't enjoy it. I know we have to do a lot of things, and I know you want to spend time with Elizabeth and get a dog, but Ziva, what if we don't end up with enough time to spend together? Just you and me?"

"We will have time, Tony." She tried to assure him as she reached for his hand. "I know we will. We will have plenty of time to go out, to stay in, to stay in bed." She added that last part with a seductive smile, something Tony greatly appreciated.

He winked at her before chuckling. "Good. Good. We'll have time for that."

"There are priorities, Tony. You and I together. Us. That is one of them." She explained to him. "But I still want to see Elizabeth, and I still want to see the rest of the team, and I want to meet this Agent Eleanor Bishop, and I want to get a dog, and I want to think about my next job."

"All understandable."

"I thought so." She said with a smirk.

The doctor did come to check in on Ziva within the hour. Before they discontinued the drug the next day, she wanted to take another mammogram to help document the course of the cancer. She was hoping for improvement. She got it.

Tony had decided it was a good idea to call it a night before Ziva went in for another mammogram. He knew she probably didn't want him for that anyways. He had been involved in a lot of it, but there were some more personal matters that she didn't exactly need him to be there for. He was pretty good at distinguishing which one was which. She never had to tell him to leave, something that she was very grateful for.

The doctor told Ziva that she would be discharged a few hours after they stopped administering the drug, docetaxel. This was something she was very excited about because she had anticipated having to stay for a couple days after they stopped the IV.

"That means the mammogram looks good, yes?" she asked the doctor.

"Well, Ziva, the tumor is improving, but it has to decrease to a certain size before we can perform the surgery to remove it without causing serious damage to the breast. This is something that you have been afraid of, I'm sure."

Ziva nodded in agreement.

"The tumor will not advance while you are on your little break, and when you come back on the 16th and we re-administer the drug, that will be your last chance. If it is not less than 2 cm by the middle of February, we will have no choice but to perform a mastectomy." Dr. Parker explained.

"Do you think that I will have to have the whole breast removed?" Ziva asked.

"No, I don't. There's no reason to suspect the tumor will be that unwavering. The drug is beating it. It's just a little slow. Knowing your personality, the tumor is just a little like you. Stubborn."

Ziva laughed.

"You'll be fine." The doctor told her. "Just wait and see. I'm happy for you. I know you must be happy to get out tomorrow."

"I am." Ziva said.

"What do you think you're gonna do first?" the doctor asked as she checked Ziva's blood pressure and heart rate, so the nurse would not have to do it later.

"I am going to cook a nice meal and have some red wine and watch a very long movie on the couch with my boyfriend." Ziva said with a smile, imagining the picture in her head.

"Good for you. Just don't push yourself too hard." The doctor advised before leaving the room to move onto her next patient.

Ziva knew Tony was probably already asleep, and she didn't want to wake him up to tell him the news. She could just tell him the next day because he was already going to be there when they took the IV out, and she didn't want to just tell him over the phone. She wanted to be able to see his face and witness his reaction.

It was late, but she wasn't tired at all. This new found energy and excitement made her happy and radiant, s she picked up her journal at her side and continued writing.

I just found out I can go home tomorrow. There is so much I want to be able to do before I have to come back here. Most of my ideas involve Tony. I've grown so dependent on him. I should be scolding myself for throwing a lot of my burden on someone else, for leaning on him indefinitely, but it is something I have not allowed myself to do in a long time.

Tony is the ideal man. Well, Tony himself is not every woman's dream, but I know every woman would love to be treated the way he treats me. There is so much I want to do for him, so much I want to say to him, and I want to thank him for being there for me throughout this all.

During all of this, I can't think of one time he complained. When I first met him, complaints are all that came out of his mouth. That and expletives and some form of rating women on a scale of one to ten. He has grown up. Sometimes, I like to think I can take some credit for the man he has become. And honestly, he can take a portion of the woman I am now.

I can write about him for hours. His endearing qualities. His unique characteristics. His quirks. The things he does that annoy me beyond belief. Every annoying pet name he has ever referred to me by. The ridiculous gibberish he mutters into his pillow when he is dreaming at night.

I just need to have some form of concrete evidence that I love him so much. If I ever get angry with him, I need to look back at this and think of everything he's ever done for me.

She finally put down her pen and fell asleep, a smile upon her face as her last thoughts were of Tony, knowing she would return home the following day.

When she awoke the next morning, she looked at the time. She immediately noticed that she had slept in until ten, something that was very unusual for her. However, she did feel refreshed and energized. She looked down and noticed she had one missed call and two text messages from Tony. She smiled.

As it was a Wednesday, he still had to go into work, but he would be leaving around one, and they would play the rest of it by ear. Ziva tried to go back to sleep, so when she would wake up, it would all be over, but that plan didn't work.

She did start on the book McGee had picked out for her though, and she really enjoyed. She made it 148 pages in before Tony arrived, and he arrived about half an hour before scheduled removal of the IV.

"Hey, Ziva." He said, walking into the room.

"No nickname today?" she asked.

"You disappointed?" he wondered before kissing her nose and briefly kissing her lips. "You aren't getting too attached to those, are you?"

"There is just something about them."

"Yeah, well, there's something about you right now. Look at that smile. I don't think I get all the credit for it. You look so happy." He noticed, looking at her a little more intently.

"I am happy." She assured him. "And you will be even more so when I tell you what I have been holding back since last night."

"Shoot." He said, taking the seat beside her.

"I get to go home today." She said calmly, and the expression on Tony's face said it all.

His eyes widened, and his mouth dropped open. His eyebrows furrowed before his lips turned up into a bright smile. He was overjoyed, to say the least. Of course, Ziva was, too. She just wasn't as expressive as Tony. "You get to go home today?" he repeated, trying to make sure it hadn't all been in his head, or he hadn't simply heard her wrong.

She nodded, and he kissed her ferociously, seizing her lips in his, claiming her tongue. She was so surprised that she didn't put up a fight as he dominated her mouth, clasping his hands at the back of neck, knowing all too well not to run his fingers through her hair like he desperately wanted to because of Ziva's wig.

When he pulled back, Ziva was still in a state of shock. She was left breathless with swollen lips. Her eyes were still closed, and when she opened them, Tony's face had been completely pulled from hers; as if he was never even there, but he was left with a smirk that told her this was only the beginning.

The nurse knocked on the door about eight minutes after to find Tony and Ziva laughing about something, but they grew silent when they heard the knock. She came in, and for some reason Tony thought the whole process might be a little more complicated, but it actually wasn't.

She told Ziva it would sting a little, and all she did was remove the first needle from her body, and then the second needle, and then the third, bandaging the puncture wounds as they went along. "Okay, Ziva, you're free to move around. Don't go too fast because you haven't been on your feet in a while, but I'm sure Tony will be more than willing to help you if you falter. I'll be back soon with your discharge papers."

"Thank you." Tony and Ziva said simultaneously. When Ziva heard the door close behind her, she jumped up and quickly got out of the bed. When her feet hit the floor, she moaned in pleasure.

Tony loved the sound.

Ziva reached for Tony's hand to help her get up from the bed, and he obliged, but soon she took a few steps away from him and let go of his hand. He watched as she explored the room, walking cautiously at first, and then briskly.

He knew she was going a little faster than the nurse would recommend, but he knew better than to stop her. He was enjoying watching her. She was glowing as she rediscovered her feet. It was easier than she had expected. She never fumbled once.

She took a few laps around the room before returning to Tony and throwing her arms around his neck. This time she was the one to surprise him.

He was embarrassed to admit that her light weight had taken him by surprise and thrown him back a little, but he quickly recovered, kissing her sweetly, knowing they were free to go soon.

The nurse returned with the discharge papers, which Ziva filled out, her hand racing across the papers, her handwriting almost illegible, but she managed. When she handed the last paper to the triage center, she turned to Tony, who was by her side like he had been for months and said, "Let's go home."

It was almost enough for him to carry her bridal style to the car. He didn't, though. They arrived home in record time, and when they got there, Tony was bombarding her with questions of what she would do first.

She silenced him with a kiss, which led to more kisses, which led to tongue, which led to a pile of clothes on the floor, which led to the bedroom, which led to the slow sex because she was still a little weak from the whole experience.

When they were both satisfied, they found themselves staring at the ceiling, wrapped in each other, entangled in the peaceful silence.

This time, it was Ziva who broke it. "I missed you." She whispered, almost like a child ashamed to admit it.

He turned to her and kissed her. "I missed you, too."

"I am sorry for all of this."

"It's not your fault, Ziva."

"I know it's not, but it has been so hard on you, as well." She reminded him. "You have been strong for me when I could not be, and I love you so much. Thank you for it."

"No problem, Ziva. You're home now." He said, and she nodded. They both stopped staring at the ceiling for a minute to look at each other, lost in the other's eyes. They communicated so well without words. Right now, he was basically saying that he would take care of her and that she never had to thank him for loving her.

"But for how much longer?" she asked, shaking her head in doubt.

He kissed her temple. "Hey." He whispered to her. "Lost time is never found again. Don't focus on that. We have time, Ziva." He assured her.

She tried to look like she believed him because she mostly did.

He sensed her doubt and reminded her, "You and me, we can get through anything. Always have. Always will. Only us."

She smiled. "Only us."

End of Part Two

Wow! I really can't believe part 2 is finished. Thank you so much for staying with me through all of this because this was a hard time for me. With my cousin's murder, high school starting, I really appreciate everything that you have done for me.

Your reviews light up my day, and just seeing how many people favorite and follow the story makes me smile, so I hope you will stay tuned and be on the look out for my next update for Part 3, Winter Tears.

Hopefully, I'll get Winter Tears started within the week. Thanks again!

Love you all!

Serena