…EIGHTY-FOUR REVIEWS?

What the hell do you guys do for a living? Don't you have school or a job? Seriously, though, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE SIX REVIEWS THAT WERE POSTED IN BETWEEN CHAPTERS!

By the Way – this chapter has spoilers for The Cursed Child. I liked the book.

Albus Severus Potter had time travelled before. He had done so only months previously with his best friend, Scorpius Malfoy. And now, thanks to that idiot that's known as his older brother by two years, James Sirius Potter, he was stuck in the past with his best friend. Not that it was bad to spend time with his best friend. In fact, he reveled in the chance. It was Christmas break, there was nothing to do with his parents being at that dumb Ministry Christmas Party that, because they served firewhiskey, stated that you needed to be seventeen or older.

So, if it was under normal circumstances (not that anything was normal in his life, he would have taken this chance to get away from his normal life – the Slytherin son of Harry Potter, and in the eyes of the media (and much of the castle) the Slytherin Squib. Not that he particularly minded – he liked the fact that he was the so called 'disappointment'. While he did try, he often felt like he was the second 'Neville Longbottom' – a person who starts off being utterly horrible at magic (or anything, really), and then later becomes somebody that everyone looks up to.

Jeez…that sounded like an Urban Dictionary definition or something…

Anyways…these weren't normal circumstances. That's why he was currently being hurled through time and space, accompanied by not just one person. No…three others.

The media addressed all of them as "Harry Potter's kids", but only three of them were Harry Potter's children. The fourth, and eldest of them (and the only Hufflepuff in the Potter/Weasley/Granger Family), was only their father's godson, but the media (generally Rita Skeeter), liked to call him "A Lupin by Name, A Potter at Heart", which if he was going to be honest, sounded like a book title. [1]

Anyways, they happened to land in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place – but not the nice, clean kitchen they had all grown accustomed to being in.

"Ow." Lily Luna Potter, his younger sister moaned as she hit the table that was surrounded by Order members.

"Shit!" James shouted. "That hurt!"

"Mind saying who you are?" they heard their Uncle Bill ask roughly, wand pointed at them. As were the other members of the Order…Mad-Eye Moody…Sirius Black…Daedalus Diggle…Hestia Jones…Remus Lupin…and Nymphadore Tonks – just to name a few.

"What year is it?" Teddy asked, clutching his head. He was a klutz, and probably managed to hit his head on something. "And the only reason I'm asking is because of him." He said, pointing at James.

Sirius gasped loudly. "No way…"

"Yes way…" James replied back. "We're time travelers."

"You IDIOT!" Lily said, launching herself at James.

"I was actually going to say that you were a cosplayer that happened to look exactly like my deceased best friend, but no, time travelers works too." Sirius said. "Mad-Eye?"

"I already have the veritaserum here." Mad-Eye said, "Luckily, Snape provided it to me last week."

"If you have nothing to hide, then you won't mind drinking this tea." Tonks said brightly, gesturing to the five remaining cups of tea. Sirius, Remus, Mundungus, Arthur, and Bill all spluttered. "That's my tea!"

"I'll make more." Mrs. Weasley said, rolling her eyes.

"Drink." Mad-Eye commanded. He pointed at Teddy. "You go first."

Teddy took the drink and drank all of it. Obviously, as an auror (one of the last that went through his dad's program before he became the Head of the DMLE), he wasn't afraid.

"Who are you?" He asked gruffly.

"Edward "Teddy" Remus Lupin." Teddy said, eyes glazing over and he sprouted the truth.

Remus gasped loudly. He was probably thinking – What the Hell…I have a kid? But I'm a werewolf!

Something like that.

"Age?"

"22."

"Parents?" asked Mad-Eye.

"Remus John Lupin and Nymphadora Andromeda Lupin, nee Tonks."

Remus' jaw seemed to forget how to stay hinged and Tonks was jumping for joy. Sirius threw his arms around Remus and yelled out, "MOONY! We're FAMILY!"

"Job?"

"Auror." Teddy replied. "I was one of the last aurors' to pass former Head Auror Harry Potter's tests before he retired to become the Head of the DMLE."

Sirius whistled. "Dang, Harry's Head of the DMLE? That's nice!"

"You do realize that he can declare you free then?"

"That was actually done before Harry took office, by the former Head of the DMLE."

Mad-Eye's eyes narrowed. "And who's the former Head?"

"Minister Hermione Jean Granger-Weasley." Teddy said.

*cue spit-takes*

"Holy crap!" Kingsley Shacklebolt said. "I thinks she's the first muggleborn to ever hold office." He turned to Teddy. "Who's the former Minster? Actually, name the order of Minsters from Fudge."

"Cornelius Fudge, served from 1990 to 1996. Fired after the Battle of the Department of Mysteries. Rufus Scrimegour, former Head Auror, served from 1996 to his death in 1997. Pius Thicknesse, 1997-1998, supporter of Voldemort. Kingsley Shacklebolt, 1998 – 2019."

There was a round of applause for Kingsley.

"So the Ministry gets infiltrated." Mad-Eye spat. "Final question, House at Hogwarts."

"Hufflepuff." Teddy replied before receiving the antidote.

"Alright, you are going next." He said, pointing at James.

James drank his tea quickly.
"Name?"

"James Sirius Potter."

Sirius started jumping for joy. "Harry named his son after me! Harry names his son after me!"

"Age?"

"15." James replied.

"Parents?" Everyone leaned forward. Who was the lucky person to marry Harry Potter?

"Harry James Potter and Ginerva Molly Potter, nee Weasley."

*cue more spit-takes*

"I knew it!" Sirius yelled happily.

"Oh, Arthur! Now he's really part of the family!" Molly said, glee clear in her voice.

"Hogwarts house?"

"Gryffindor! What else?" James cast a side-ways glance at Albus, but nobody but Mad-Eye noticed.

"Alright – you, red-head. Your next."

"She looks like Ginerva at twelve!" Molly said.

Lily drank her tea before waiting for Mad-Eye to start questioning her.

"Name?"

"Lily Luna Potter." Lily replied.

Molly gasped happily.

"Age?"

"12."

"Parents?"

"Harry James Potter and Ginerva Molly Potter nee Weasley."

Molly started dancing again, "TWO grandchildren Arthur! Two!"

She turned to Lily, "How many grandchildren do I have?"

"In total, you have 12 biological grandchildren and one adoptive." Lily replied. "The adoptive one is Teddy, because he's Harry's godson."

"Arthur – we have thirteen grandchildren!" She said happily.

"I know dear, I have ears after all." Arthur said.

"House?"

"Gryffindor, but because I take after my godmother, Luna Scamander nee Lovegood, I almost got sorted into Ravenclaw."

She was given the cure and then Mad-Eye turned to him.

"Drink."

Albus drank the drink as slowly as possible. After all, it was scalding.

"Hurry up! Or do you have something to hide?"

He did, indeed have something to hide. There was so much he wanted to hide. Now that he thought of it more…being the "Neville Longbottom" wasn't too bad. After all, Neville was his godfather (his dad decided to make Uncle George James' godfather. WORST MISTAKE EVER!)

He finished his tea. He took a deep breath.

"Name?"

"Albus Severus Potter."

Everyone started to go into uproar. "Why'd he name him after that git!"

"Dunno." Everyone turned to Albus. "He just said 'he was one of the bravest men I ever knew' or something like that."

"Age?"

"14."

"Parents?"

"Harry James Potter and Ginerva Molly Potter nee Weasley." He was kind of glad he had repaired his relationship with his father…

"House?"

He tried to prolong it, but after 30 seconds, the potion started working. He suddenly felt compelled to spew his guts out.

"Slytherin."

*cue gasps*

"A Potter in Slytherin?"

"What?"

"WHAT THE HELL?"

"Aww, your making me blush. I tried to make the hat put me in Gryffindor, or Ravenclaw, or Hufflepuff but noo I don't have the right 'qualities' for any of those houses. The Hat said something like, "because you don't want to live in your father's shadow, because you don't want to defined by your family legacy…that's why you are a Slytherin." So that's why I'm a Slytherin." He grinned. "But you haven't even heard the best part!"

"Hullo. I'm Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy," Scorpius said, not even bothering to drink the tea. "14, son of Draco and Astoria Malfoy, nee Greengrass. I love muggle-borns, have the deepest crush possible on the daughter of the Minister – Rose Granger-Weasley – and I'm a Slytherin. Oh and did I mention that Albus here is my best friend?"

*fainting*

And that's when the five minutes were finished and they found themselves back in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place.

"What?" his mum shrieked. "Kreacher said that the four of you were in your rooms! And that Scorpius had gone home!"

"And why's my office door unlocked?"

The five of them all looked at each other with looks of utter horror.

"Oh shit." muttered James.

[1] I love my references. Do you? Anyways, this is a reference to the awesome fanfiction called "Dursleys by Name, Potters at Heart" by crystaltokyo9849, and has a sequel – "Sword, Diadem, Cup, and Locket". Both are good reads.

Also, I'm putting together a list of "Must Read Fanfictions". You can bet that "Oh God, Not Again!" will be on that list, among others from my … 2000 something favorites list.

Some things on that list I haven't even read. I just put them on there so I could read it on this app called "Pocket Fiction". It lets me read Fanfiction anywhere.

It's bloody useful!

And as for the Potter/Lupin/Malfoy ages:

Edward "Teddy" Remus Lupin – age 22 (Born April, 1998)

James Sirius Potter – age 15 (Born 2005)

Albus Severus Potter – age 14 (Born 2006)

Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy – age 14 (Born 2006)

Lily Luna Potter – age 12 (Born 2008)

All this info comes from what J.K. has confirmed – either through Twitter or Pottermore.