Part 34

"Three Months"

It had been three months since Chuck Bass broke my heart. He did it at my brother's wedding. I told him that if he left then we were done for good. I cried on my new sister-in-law's shoulder on the hallway floor at 11pm. Three months ago my world shattered.

When we broke up I told him that I wouldn't wait for him. That if we were done, we were done for good. In the moment there was so much anger and sadness in the words I spoke, and I meant them with all of my heart. Now I wasn't so sure. For the past three months I spent my time laying in bed, crying my eyes out, wishing he would just show up at my door and take it all back. Except that never happened, and by the looks of things, it never was going to. He found someone else.

Only weeks after our breakup he was spotted with Valarie. At first the pictures made it look like they could be anything: friends hanging out or more. But as days went by the pictures became more and more descriptive. A month went by before there was a picture of the two of them kissing at an event down in Australia. It killed me, seeing him kiss someone else, but what really killed me was the happiness in his eyes. I use to make him that happy.

Blair had been on my ass for weeks now to just finally get up and go out. She said I was letting him win by hiding away in my room. My dad wasn't that happy either; I refused to go back to school to work for Elanor, and now I was spending days in self pity. Luckily, Elanor understood my depression. Then again, she had witnessed her daughter go through the same pain time and time again. I did go in to work time from time, but not that often. I couldn't sleep at night (sleeping all day probably didn't help), so going anywhere or doing anything was a struggle. Despite lacking in a social life, at least I didn't lose my dream job over him; he would have really won if I had.

And here I was, another Saturday night, another tub of Ben and Jerry's cuddled in my lap while I watched bad movies on Netflix. It was nice watching people who's acting that was crappier than how I was feeling. Have you ever seen The Messengers? It's essentially an hour and a half of Kristen Stewart running around, screaming, trying to figure out what was going on in a house that's haunted. The plot was as cliché as it gets. Though I guess the same could be said for my heartbreak.

Suddenly my phone rang, making me pause the current crap-fest that was on my television. It was Blair, probably calling to try and cheer me up again so I'd get off my ass. Sighing, I answered the phone. "Hey Blair, what's up?"

"I'm assuming you're not," She said with a sigh of her own, "spending another night binge watching My Strange Addiction on Netflix?"

"No, that was last week." I laughed to myself. It was sad but true, I had already gone through every episode Netflix had to offer.

"You need to go out. And it's not a suggestion, it's a demand." You could hear the irritation in her voice. I knew she cared, but she had been on my case for two months now. I couldn't blame her for just wanting me to do something other than mope about Chuck. "That son of a bitch is off, living his life to the fullest and you're wasting your days away. So you're going to put on a hot outfit, go out, and finally have some fun. It's been three months, Jenny. Three months."

I dreaded the thought of interacting with other human beings. The phrase 'misery loves company' did not apply to me. Unless that company was ice cream, then yes, I love company. Except she was right, it had been three months, a fourth of an entire year that I've wasted. Maybe she was right?

"Okay, I'll go out." I replied unwillingly, getting up from the couch. I knew if I didn't cave now she would never stop bothering me about it. "But I'll only go out for like an hour, then I'm retreating back to my cave." That was suppose to be a joke, but I didn't hear any laughing.

"Finally!" Blair basically shouted in relief. All her months of nagging were finally paying off. "You have to snapchat me the entire time so I know that you're not bluffing."

Was she for real? It was hard to tell if she was kidding or not. "I'll make sure you approve of my underwear," I teased. "I'll snapchat you in a minute. Bye Blair."

Now what was I going to wear on my first big night out? A little black dress perhaps? You can never go wrong with that. I went to my closet and began going through it. I had forgotten how much clothing I had; I've been wearing the same Pjs for the past month. That's when I found one of my favorite dresses tucked away on a hanger in a corner. So I took it off the hanger and examined it before sliding it on. Self-consciously I looked at myself in the mirror, trying to find a flaw, but honestly I couldn't find one. The dress hugged me in all the right places, if I was going to wear anything on my first night out this would be it.

Quickly I went over to the mirror and did my makeup. Black eyeliner, with a natural eye shadow so it wasn't too overpowering. Sticking my tongue out, I took a picture of myself in the mirror to send to Blair. With one final glance at myself, I decided I looked as good as I could for how I was feeling, so I headed out for the night- not having a clue what would be in-store for me as the night progressed.

As soon as I got outside I was hit with the cold wind that was still haunting the city. Things were quiet for the most part, down here in Brooklyn. My depression was bumming everyone on the upper east side, so I retreated back to my old room. Dan stopped by every now and then to check on me, probably because of Blair, but everyone else decided to give me space; which I didn't mind. Not saying I've been completely alone, Erik would visit, so would my dad and Lily, they just didn't stick around for long.

So I made my way down three blocks, headed towards a bar I use to go to when I wanted to escape reality for a while. When I got there I took out my phone and snapchatted the sign to Blair, proving I was actually out of the house. Taking a deep breath I headed inside, not sure what to expect. I wasn't sure of anything anymore.

I was once so sure of everything.

Inside there was a handful of people, some drinking at the bar, some off socializing in the lounge. Everyone seemed to be here with somebody, and I was the lone soul just wondering around. I decided to take a seat at the bar, ordering a martini. My loneliness didn't last long though, as I heard a voice that had the charm of Nate yet the mischief of Chuck, and it caught my attention. "Aren't you a little young to be drinking?"

I turned my attention to the gentleman who was now sitting next to me. He looked oddly familiar. "I don't know why that would be any of your business." I smirked back to him, a little snarky in my response.

"It really isn't." He signaled the bartender for another drink, "I just couldn't think of a better way to start a conversation with you." I just stared at him, scrunching my eyebrows a bit. Did I know him? That's when he put out his hand. "Carter, Carter Baizen."

Bass, Chuck Bass. Began to echo through my head.

All I could do was stare blankly at him. This was the same Carter Baizen that got punched by Nate at my first Cotillion? Who ran away with Serena to find her father? The guy the entire Buckley family despised? "I'm assuming you don't remember me?" Carter asked, accepting his drink with a smile. He was sipping on something that looked like bourbon.

"No, of course I remember you." I grinned, taking a sip of my martini before shaking his hand. I wasn't sure how to act. It's not like Carter and I have any sort of history besides for being at the same place at the same time every now and again, or sometimes running in the same circle. "You're someone who's hard to forget." I paused for a moment. "You know you could have just said hello."

"Where's the fun in that?" He smiled, taking his eyes off of me and looked at all the alcohol on display at the bar. "I was going to ask how you were holding up after that nasty breakup with Chuck, but that seemed too personal."

Great. Ten minutes out and Chuck was already brought up. "Well this is the first time in three months that I've left my house besides for work and family, so... does that answer your question?" I looked down at my drink, sighing ever so quietly. Was this who I was going to be? The girl Chuck Bass ruined? But when I looked back up Carter was staring right in to my eyes, his glass up for me to clink with my martini.

"Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable." There was something about the way Carter smiled that made me smile right back, clinking our glasses together.

With that smiled I turned my stool to facing him completely. "So who's quote did you just rip off?" I laughed, knowing damn well he didn't just think of that off the top of his head.

He did the same, moving his stool so we were facing one another. "I believe that is from the magnificent Wizard of Oz." We both stared at one another; me trying to figure out if he was kidding or not. As his lips began to curl, I could tell he was telling the truth. We both began to laugh out loud.

"Is this how you pick girls up at bars? By quoting the Wizard of Oz?" Without being able to help it, I began to blush.

"Who says I'm trying to pick you up?" Carter asked, raising an eyebrow as he took a sip of his bourbon.

I wasn't sure if I should be offended or not. It wasn't like I wanted to be picked up, but at the same time it was a little insulting if he was saying he wasn't trying to. "Touche." I paused, glancing down at my feet, trying to think of something better to say. "So you're saying you're not trying to pick me up? What? Am I not your type?"

Carter leaned in and whispered in my ear, "You're exactly my type." Pulling away with another grin. His grin spoke more words than his lips. Sarcastically he continued, "I love emotionally unavailable girls who aren't interested in me."

Maybe I would regret tonight, but maybe I wouldn't.

That night was spent drinking martinis, doing shots, and sipping on something that was way too strong for me. We laughed way too hard about things we've done over the years; making how much shit we had been through seem hysterical. He made me laugh about Chuck, even calling him a fool for choosing someone else. I cracked a few jokes about Serena, nothing too harsh since we were friendly now, but the jokes were appreciated.

For the past couple years Carter had spent his time traveling the world. It was incredible the way he described things; you could tell he had a true passion for adventure. His last stop was Thailand, where he spent three months living with natives and eating all the food they had to offer. Next he wanted to travel to Iceland. I was envious of his adventures, I was envious of the way he was able to do what he wanted without worrying about what other people thought. So he just talked, and I listened, gazing in to his bright eyes, absorbing the wonder that he held within himself.

Before I knew what was happening the bar was doing a last call for drinks, which meant it was time to return to my cave. I was taking my card out to pay when Carter gently pushed it away, "Tonight is on me. You can get it next time." He winked while taking out some twenties.

So that meant there would be a next time? "Deal." I smiled as we both got up and headed for the door. "Tonight was fun, thanks for the drinks." Once we reached the outside I began to shiver again; it was colder than before. At least I looked hot.

Without asking Carter took his jacket off and wrapped it around me. "Where are you headed? We should share a cab." His handsome smile was back.

"I'm actually only three blocks down, I was just going to walk." I responded, pulling his jacket tighter around me, nodding down the block.

"I'm headed the same way, let me walk you." Carter and I began to walk side-by-side. He hid his hands in his pants pockets with his shoulders up high, trying to hide the fact that he was cold. I offered him his jacket back but he just denied it. Deep down he was a gentleman.

We continued to talk, conversation slowly dying out as we reached my building, both of us finally being taken over by the fact it was two in the morning. I removed his jacket and handed it back to him. For a moment we both stood there in silence. A part of me didn't want the night to end. For the first time in three months I was smiling and laughing, and they were real laughs and smiles, not the fake ones I had to keep giving everyone else.

"Let me get your number," I said, taking out on my phone. Jesus. I had five missed calls and like a hundred texts from Blair, I completely forgot to snapchat her. Whoops. Before handing my phone over I clicked on all my notifications so Carter wouldn't think Blair was stalking me or something.

Our hands skimmed as I handed my phone over, and suddenly I wasn't cold anymore.

"Will you come in?" I asked nervously, "Tonight is just the first night in a long time that I've genuinely happy and I don't want it to end..." I gave him the biggest smile I could, "My Netflix account is on point."

Laughing, handing my phone back, Carter started to nod yes. "Sure, I'd love to watch Netflix with you."

*Line*

"The Day After"

I woke up to Carter Baizen asleep in my arm chair as I laid on the couch. He looked so innocent, like a little angel all curled up. I know what you're thinking- but nothing happened between us last night, not even a single kiss. We watched Leprechaun and then Leprechaun two, which was even worse, and somewhere between bad movies and popcorn we fell asleep. It was noon and I had more missed calls. Yawning, I got up and started making waffles.

As the waffles were finishing up, Carter pulled himself up in the chair. "Just in time," I smiled, putting the waffles on a plate for him, "I made you some world famous Humphrey waffles."

"I thought I smelled something delicious." Carter smiled sweetly as he made his way over to me. He took a seat at the counter, pouring syrup over his waffles. I wasn't going to say it out loud, but he was cute in the morning. The hint of sleepiness still in his eyes, the way he leaned on one hand as he ate with the other, the way he looked at me like I was his hero because I made him waffles.

Smiling I joined him at the counter, eating my own waffles. "You know there's, like, six Leprechaun movies, all that should get worse as you go."

"Well then, I guess that makes at least four more dates." Carter grinned, getting up to grab us two glasses and pour some orange juice. "I'll have to look in to bad movies and see what else I can find." I'm probably speaking too soon, but he is acting damn near perfect.

After eating I walked him down to the street to catch a cab. I couldn't help but play with his already messed up hair. Being adorable he pushed me away gently, only to take my hand in his and pull my close. Our eyes locked, his other hand rested on my cheek, and my arm went around his waist. That was when Carter leaned in and kissed me, and I kissed him right back. My eyes slowly opened as we pulled apart.

"I'll see you soon." Carter grinned before grabbing a cab and driving away.

Blushing, I rushed back upstairs to shower and clean up so I could go over to Blair and Dan's to gush about the night I had. I couldn't wait to tell them all about the way Carter Baizen saved me from my darkness. Who would have ever guessed? But right as I was about to get in the shower, a Gossip Girl blast was sent out:

Little J, does your dad know you're having secret sleepovers?

Who would have thought you'd trade one dark knight for another?

Looks like she's moving on, C.

Are you sure you made the right call with your lover from down under?

Can't wait to see what you have in store.

XOXO Gossip Girl