Jace's POV

Seeing my best friend, my brother on the floor like that was the most horrific thing I have ever seen.

No movie could ever capture what I saw tonight. I tried my best to keep as much blood in his body as possible.

There was just so much blood. So much that I couldn't control anything.

Now all I could think about is if he was going to make it, and if he didn't… If he didn't I wasn't sure any of us could handle it.

We are all so close to one another that losing one of us would be like losing a body part.

As I sat here with Clary in my arms my mind was racing with questions. Questions I would have hoped I would never have to ask.

After a while of being curled up on the floor in shock with Clary we headed down to the hospital with Alec.

I couldn't tell how he was doing. He was in shock just like the rest of us.

We sat in silence on the way to the hospital. The only noise we heard was Alec texting everyone to meet us at the hospital.

Simon, Izzy, and Magnus all met us at the hospital entrance. Izzy looked like she had been crying, Simon looked like he was going to be sick, and Magnus looked in utter shock.

Clary ran into Izzy's arms as soon as she saw her. Clary looked broken. She thought that this was her fault.

I know it isn't, but that wasn't going to change how she felt.

I was trying to be strong for her, but underneath I was falling apart thread by thread.

My best friend had tried to commit suicide. Just thinking of that word made me almost vomit.

He was got to need serious help when he got out of this hospital, because he was getting out.

He was going to make it, if not for me but for Clary. She needed him. I needed him.

"Should.. should we just go in?" Alec asked as he held onto Magnus tightly

"Yeah" Clary said as she walked in the hospital's emergency room without looking back.

We all followed her and saw that she was talking with the receptionist.

"I told you lady. I NEED to know if my brother is okay!" she screamed

The receptionist looked a bit scared of Clary so she quickly obliged.

"What was his name again miss?" she asked

"Johnathan fucking Fairchild!" she yelled

I wanted to go to her, but I could barely hear what the lady was saying, and for some reason that was making me feel a better.

If I wasn't able to hear her then I wouldn't hear her say that he had died.

I heard her say something softly to Clary, but it was too quiet for me to hear what she was saying.

Clary's reaction however was enough. Her face lit up like a Christmas tree.

Jon was alive. He was going to live.

I still had my best friend and brother.

My family is still whole.

Clary looked over at me and ran into my arms.

"He.. he is going to be okay!" she mumbled into my shirt.

I lifted her head so she was looking at me. I pressed my forehead to hers and breathed.

I could breath. I feel like I haven't been able to breath in a very long time.

Now I could and the best part was that Jon was going to be okay, and I have my Clary.

I could hear everyone in the background practically everyone cheering. I would have joined, but Clary still needed me.

Hell I still needed her. We were hold each other up by sheer will.

"I love you!" I sobbed to her

It was then that I realized that I was crying. We both were

"Love you too." she said as she pressed her lips to mine.

This was unlike any kiss that I have ever experienced. Not only with Clary, but with anyone.

It was filled with desperation and sadness. Joy and heartache. Above all, it was filled with pure love.

Clary's POV

Jon was alive

Jon was going to be okay.

I still had my brother.

Words that made feel happier than I have ever felt before. Nothing has EVER made me feel so happy before.

Not even when Jace told me he loved me for the first time, and that was a HUGE moment for me.

Jon was going to be okay! I feel like saying that over and over. Hell I might even sing it. I am THAT happy!

When everyone got done hugging we went back to the lady to ask if we could see him.

"I'm afraid that only one person is allowed in the ICU at a time" she said politely

"Why the hell is he in the ICU?" I asked

"It says here that he is under suicide watch, which is only available in the ICU due to budget cuts" she said.

"Well it's obvious that Clary should go in first" Alec said

"What. Me. What… what would I say to him?" I asked

"Just tell him what you were going to tell him. That you forgive him" Jace said

"I...I don't know. Maybe Jace should go first. I mean you are the one who saved his life" I said

"Me. Clary, he is your brother. You have to go first" Jace said

"You are his brother too. You and Alec. I...he.. He probably doesn't want to see me." I said putting my head down

"Clary, listen to me. This is NOT your fault. Now you are going to walk through those doors and see your brother." Jace said sternly

"But Jace"

"No buts. You are going." he said kissing me on the cheek before pushing me through the ICU doors

I walked down the hallway to find my brother, and thought about what I could say to him.

Hi Jon, I'm sorry about not telling you that I forgive you soon enough- No

Hey Jon, how was almost dying?- Still No

What could I say? What would be the right thing to say?

Would he even be awake?

All of these questions and no answers.

When I walked up to the door that said Jonathan C. Fairchild I stopped.

I didn't want to go in. I knew that he was going to be okay. Shouldn't that be enough?

Of course not. I had to do this, and I had to do it now.

"Jon…" I said as I knocked on the door

"Come in" I heard a faint voice say

I walked in and saw him.

He looked like actual hell. His hair was tossed around and his arm had a huge bandage on it.

"Jon...I..I..umm" I stuttered

"You don't have to say it. I...I'm a horrible person..and..I know that you could never forgive me for what I did to you..I'm so sorry Clary!" he said

"Jon. What are you talking about? Of course I forgive you.. I just can't imagine how you could forgive me?" I said walking over to him and took his hand

"Forgive you? For what?" he asked confused

"For all of this!" I said pointing at the bandage on his arm

"Clary, are you insane? This is NOT your fault!" he said shocked

"Of course it is! If I would have just come and talked to you sooner none of this would have happened" I said putting my head down

"Clary, look at me" he said pulling my head up

"This, this is not your fault. This was my choice, and I...I.. did this because I can't forgive myself for what I did. You.. nothing could have.. No one could have.. Ummm… stopped me" he stuttered as he was trying to choke down tears

"Jon, you know that you… that what happened… Jon you can't.." I choked

Tears were streaming down my face now.

"Clary.."

"No Jon… You can NOT leave us. We need you.. All of us. Not just me, but Jace and Alec too! You didn't see them. They were broken. We all were" I said squeezing his hand tight

"But Clary.. What I did" he said

"Jon what you did is already forgotten. Just promise me. Please... Promise me that you won't leave us" I cried

"I promise."

Yay! Jon livesI guess I wasn't feeling that evil today! I hope you enjoy your day!