Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass, the series that has spawned this piece of offensive shit that I've so poorly written.

A/N: Next two chapters are most likely parodies/crossovers unless I think of something better...Geassmin (Pikmin parody) and then Light Yagami of Death Note fame matches wits with Lelouch, Kallen tries to rape Misa and L falls in love with a certain pizza girl!

Maybe I'll have Lelouch's crack-spawned daughter reappear, too...

(Not in this order, of course...)

THE MOST TERRIBLE THING TO EVER HAPPEN IN THE HISTORY OF GEASSDOM!!!

Lelouch Lamperouge glanced at his wristwatch as he stood across from the door to C.C.'s bedroom. When Lelouch had gone to see the green-haired girl earlier that same day, he had found her confined to bed, terribly ill. That was when he called the school doctor to come over and inspect her. Almost an hour had passed since that had taken place. Lelouch sighed; he knew that C.C. couldn't die due to her immortality, but it would be a shame if she had to be sick during one of his many attacks on the Britannian forces.

'C'mon...hurry up already...'

As if answering his mental demands, the door swung open, and the doctor came walking out, his hands buried deep in his pockets. He had an expression on his face like as if he had just seen a ghost. Lelouch didn't pay it any mind, however. Of course, in about two minutes or so, he'll learn exactly what it is that has horrified this poor man so much.

"So...what's the problem? Cold? Flu? Stomach virus? Tapeworm? Meningitis? Cancer?" Lelouch asked.

The doctor shook his head. "No, it's not that...it's worse. It's much, much worse...this is so bad, we'll most likely all end up being wiped out in a few days...we're doomed, I tell you...doomed..."

"Just what the hell is wrong with her?" Lelouch raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

The doctor pinched the bridge of his nose, and shut his eyes tightly. "Your friend, C.C...she is developed a sudden allergy to pizza...I do not know how to explain it, but she is now unable to eat pizza any longer without fear of possibly suffering a terrible allergy attack..."

'...C.C. loves pizza more than the lives of millions of Japanese, for christ's sake...'

Lelouch was silent for a moment, allowing the information to sink in, and then he brust out laughing. "HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! THAT...THAT'S A GOOD ONE!!! HA HA HA HA!!! OH...OH MY GOD!!! I-I THOUGHT YOU R-REALLY HAD ME THERE FOR A M-MOMENT!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA," the doctor's expression remained full of fear, and that same fear began to creep up within Lelouch's soul, "Ha...ha ha ha ha...ha ha...ha ha ha...oh my god, you're fucking serious, aren't you...?"

The doctor nodded. "We're all doomed, brutha...we're all doomed...so we might as well make the best of it..." After saying that, the doctor began to unbutton his pants.

Lelouch cringed. 'OH...FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-'

Suddenly, From within C.C.'s room, something akin to a lion's roar and a banshee scream mixed together cut loose, shaking the very foundation of the building. The doctor quickly ran off without another word, while Lelouch's skin became pale and he collapsed to his knees. It was like he had just been told that his left kidney had exploded. Heavy streams of tears leaked down his cheeks.

'Mother...father...please allow me to go to heaven when I die...' he thought solemnly.

The bedroom door swung open, and C.C. came walking out, wearing a white T-shirt and large baggy pants. She looked absolutely livid. She was clutching her beloved Cheese-kun under her armpit. For a moment, Lelouch's heart stopped.

"LELOUCH..." C.C. snarled in an unnaturally demonic voice.

Lelouch's right eye began to twitch violently. "Y-Yes, C.C...?"

"I'M NOT ALLOWED TO EAT PIZZA ANYMORE...?"

Lelouch shook his head. "N-N-N-N-N-No, C.C...you're allergic to it now..."

C.C. clutched at her face and screamed at the top of her lungs ,"..........................................AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The world snapped in half, and everyone died...except for Rivalz, because God knows he'll suffer more being alive than dead.