Cause and Effect
By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert
Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment.
Chapter 36 – Alan Finds Out
Alan looked across the table at Tin-Tin. He could tell that something was bothering her even though she hadn't said anything. He had asked Kyrano to make Tin-Tin's favorite dishes, but all she seemed to do was push the food around her plate. "Is there something wrong with the food?" He asked.
"What?' Tin-Tin asked startled but then shook her head. "Oh no, it's fine. I'm just not really hungry right now."
"Are you sure?" Alan continued. "I'm sure that I could get your father to bring you something else."
Tin-Tin shook her head. "Really, it's fine. I don't need anything else."
Alan set his fork down. "Tin-Tin, is there something wrong? Are you mad at me about something?"
Tin-Tin sighed as she moved her hands to her lap. She placed her right hand against her still flat abdomen. "I'm sorry, Alan. I shouldn't have come for dinner." Alan gave her a confused and hurt look. She quickly continued. "Oh, it's nothing that you have done. I just have a lot of things on my mind. Maybe I should just leave."
"No, don't go." Alan said. "Stay and talk to me. Perhaps I can help you with whatever is bothering you."
Tin-Tin shook her head. "I can't really talk about it. It's kind of a personal matter."
Alan reached across the small table to take Tin-Tin's hand, but she bowed her head and refused to take his hand. "Please, Tin-Tin, I can see that something is tearing you apart. I want to help you. I promise that whatever you say I will keep it a secret."
Tin-Tin sighed. "No, I'm really sorry. Look, I have to be up early in the morning. I'm going to the mainland."
"Maybe I can go with you." Alan suggested. "I'll talk to Brains…"
"NO!" Tin-Tin's head shot up in alarm. She forced herself to calm down. "It's not that I don't want you there, but this isn't a pleasure trip. You would be bored stiff."
Alan continued to press. "Is it business? I could help with that. I should be getting back into the business, even if I can't go out on rescues."
Tin-Tin shook her head. "No, it's not business. I just have an appointment, and then I'll be heading straight home."
Alan moved his chair so that he was sitting next to Tin-Tin. He reached out and took her hand. "Tin-Tin, please let me in. Let me help."
Tin-Tin looked down at the intertwined fingers. "Alan, please don't push. I really can't talk about it." A few tears slipped from her eyes.
"Okay," Alan nodded. "I'll stop pressing after you answer one more question."
Tin-tin nodded but didn't look up. She used her free hand to brush at the tears that were slowly falling from her eyes.
Quietly and gently, Alan began. "I'm really not sure how to ask this. I'm either going to be right on target or you are going to think that I've gone completely off my rocker, but…" He paused for a moment and then asked. "Are you pregnant?"
"What?" Tin-Tin's head came up again, shock registering on her face. "How could you know?" The question slipped out before Tin-Tin had even thought about it.
"It was just some little things that seemed to fit together." Alan began to answer her question without really thinking, but then Tin-Tin's statement hit him. "You mean it's true? I was right?"
Tin-Tin looked back down at her lap. She nodded as her tears fell even harder.
"This is what your appointment is about tomorrow. Isn't it?" Alan asked. He saw Tin-Tin nod, but he also grew concerned at the tears that continued to fall. "Tin-Tin, sweetheart, is there something wrong with the baby?"
Tin-Tin shook her head and replied through her tears. "Not that I know of."
"Then why didn't you want to tell me?" Alan asked in confusion.
Tin-Tin's tears turned into harsh sobs. She tried to speak, but Alan couldn't understand what she was saying.
"I can't understand you." Alan said. "You have to calm down. This can't be good for you or the baby."
Tin-Tin took a few deep breaths to pull herself under control.
Once he could see that Tin-Tin was calming down, Alan asked again. "Now, once more, why didn't you want to tell me about the baby?"
"Because I didn't want to hurt you." Tin-Tin answered through her hitched breaths.
"Hurt me?" Alan was confused again. "How could finding out that I am going to be a father possibly hurt me? This is the best possible news. I love you so much Tin-Tin." Alan leaned over to kiss Tin-Tin, but she pulled back away from him.
"There's something that you should know about the baby." Tin-Tin couldn't meet Alan's eyes. "It's the part that will hurt you."
"What is it?" Alan asked nervously.
Tin-Tin looked at Alan but then dropped her gaze. "I'm just under two months pregnant."
It took a moment for Tin-Tin's statement to sink in. Alan sat back in his chair. "It's not mine." He stated plainly.
The tears began to fall harder again. "I'm so sorry, Alan. I really am. I never intended for you to ever find out."
"And how was I not going to find out?" Alan spat out sarcastically. "You don't think that I would notice you growing with child, or that a baby suddenly turns up on Tracy Island? How dumb do you think I am?"
Tin-Tin played with her fingers. "I'm not having the baby."
Her statement stopped Alan short. "What do you mean that you're not having the baby?"
Tin-Tin stood and moved to the window. "The appointment tomorrow…it's for an abortion."
Alan turned his chair to face Tin-Tin's back. "Abortion? You can't have an abortion. It'll tear you apart."
Tin-Tin turned slightly to look at Alan over her shoulder. "But it would tear you apart if I went through with the pregnancy. I can't do that to you."
Alan shook his head. "Isn't it a little late to consider my feelings? Shouldn't you have thought about that when you and…who is the father?" Alan suddenly asked.
Tin-Tin turned back toward the window. "I won't tell you. I don't want to ruin your relationship with him because of my mistake."
"Never mind, I know who it is." Alan replied. He keyed his watch. "Hey, Gordon, can you come to my room, please."
Tin-Tin spun around quickly. "Alan, no!"
Gordon's voice came over the watch. "Is there a problem?"
Alan gave Tin-Tin a warning look, and she kept quiet. "I need to talk to you. It's important."
"Okay, I'll be there in a few minutes." Gordon's voice replied.
As soon as Alan disconnected his call to Gordon, Tin-Tin knelt next to his wheelchair. "Please, Alan, don't do this. It wasn't Gordon's fault. We didn't mean to do it. It didn't mean a thing. I swear."
"Yeah, sure it didn't." Alan turned away from her.
A knock on the door prevented Tin-Tin from replying. She stood as Alan hit the sensor to open the door. Gordon stepped through the door. "Hey, I was just next door in my room. So, what's up?"
"I want to know how long you have been screwing my girlfriend." Alan demanded angrily.
Gordon's face blanched as his eyes flew to Tin-Tin. She shook her head and quietly admitted. "I'm sorry. It just slipped out."
Gordon ran a hand over his face. "I swear. It was just that one time. We didn't plan on this. It just kind of happened. It didn't mean anything."
"Sure, it didn't mean anything." Alan snarled. "You don't think that I know that you have a secret crush on Tin-Tin."
Tin-Tin looked at Gordon in surprise. "Gordon…"
Alan interrupted her. He continued to berate his brother. "You just couldn't wait to make your move. How'd you do it? Sweet talk? Candy? Wine? What's your secret of stealing your brother's girlfriend?"
Gordon shook his head. "It wasn't like that, Alan. I was just trying to comfort her."
Alan snorted in disgust. "Some comfort."
Gordon flushed with shame. "Please try to understand, Alan. We had just said our goodbyes to you. We were emotionally despondent. We only intended to talk. I swear to God, that was it, but one thing lead to another, and it just happened. It was a huge mistake. We had never wanted you to ever find out, but fate obviously had other plans. I'm so sorry. If I could go back in time, I would. I wish I could change this. I would never purposely hurt you."
"So, let me get this straight." Alan challenged. "You never meant to hurt me. Yet while I was laying in the sickroom fighting for my life, and as far as you knew, I was drawing my last breath, you were 'comforting' my girlfriend by having sex with her. Oh yeah, that's not going to hurt me."
"You weren't supposed to find out." Gordon replied in frustration.
"Of course not," Alan yelled back at Gordon. "I was supposed to be dead. Maybe the next time you should make sure that the boyfriend really is dead before you sleep with the girl."
"Stop it!" Tin-Tin broke in. "Just stop it!" Tears streamed down her face. "It wasn't Gordon's fault. It was mine…all mine."
"Tin-Tin, don't." Gordon pleaded.
Tin-Tin turned to face Gordon. "No, I won't let you take the blame for this. It's not right." Tin-Tin knelt next to the wheelchair. She took one of Alan's hands in her own. "Please, don't do this. Don't ruin your relationship with Gordon because of what I have done."
"What are you saying?" Alan asked.
Tin-Tin ran a finger along Alan's cheekbone. She looked him full in the face. "I'm saying that it was me. I went to his room. I searched out his comfort. When things started to get serious, he wanted to stop, but I was the one who wanted to continue. He tried to push me away, but I begged him to continue. If I had listened to him, we wouldn't be in this situation. So, don't blame Gordon. Blame me."
Alan looked up at Gordon. "Is what she is saying true? Did you try to stop?"
Gordon sighed. "It's not like she is making it sound. She was really hurting. She thought she had lost you, the love of her life. She was an emotional wreck. She was overwhelmed by sadness, fear, anger, and despair. She wanted to feel loved again, and she was willing to take it from anyone."
"But you tried to stop?" Alan asked again, this time with not as much anger in his voice.
Gordon bowed his head. "I should have tried harder."
Alan softened his voice. "I'm sorry, Gordon. I just assumed that you took advantage of Tin-Tin when she was so vulnerable."
"It's understandable." Gordon nodded his head. "I would feel the same way if the situation was reversed, but you've got to believe us. We didn't want to hurt you. That's why we kept it a secret. Nobody else knows. I swear."
Alan removed Tin-Tin's hand from his cheek. He held it in his own and gently stroked the back of it with his thumb. "Well, that explains your behavior to each other over the past few weeks."
"It was our guilt eating at us." Gordon admitted. "Every time we saw each other, we were reminded of our betrayal. It became easier just to avoid each other than to deal with our emotions."
Tin-Tin gripped Alan's hand tighter. "But this isn't about us. We did something terrible, and we've hurt you immensely. Saying we're sorry seems so inadequate. I just hope that someday you will find it in your heart to forgive us."
The words "forgive us" seemed to echo in Alan's mind. He suddenly flashed back to his vision of him and his mother. They had been talking about forgiveness.
Lucy gripped Alan's hands in her own. "Alan, listen to me. You hide so much even from yourself. Trust me when I tell you that nothing is too big for you to forgive."
"Do you really think so?" Alan asked starring at his and his mother's intertwined fingers.
"I know so." Lucy responded. "I also know that soon you will have to dig deep to forgive a mistake, but you will need to. A life will depend on it."
Alan's head snapped up at that statement. "A life? Whose? One of my brothers?"
Lucy shook her head. "No, but you will know whose when the time comes."
Alan suddenly realized that the time had come. The life that needed to be saved was the life of Tin-Tin's unborn baby. His mother was also right that this would be a hard thing to forgive. The betrayal that he felt cut him deeply. He also knew that even though he was intensely angry with Gordon and Tin-Tin at the moment, he still cared about them too. He knew that to cut them out of his life would also cause him pain. So for himself, as well as Tin-Tin and Gordon, he decided that he had to forgive them.
"I forgive you." Alan said quietly.
Gordon and Tin-Tin shared confused looks. "What?" Tin-Tin asked.
Alan looked between Tin-Tin and Gordon. "I said that I forgive you…both of you."
Gordon shook his head. "Alan, I really don't know what to say."
"Then don't say anything." Alan interrupted. "Just because I said I forgive you doesn't mean that this is over. Stating forgiveness doesn't mean that the pain that I'm feeling has just miraculously gone away. I'm going to have to work at this, but I feel that repairing my relationship with the two of you is worth the effort."
"I think I understand." Gordon replied. "If there is anything that I can do, just let me know."
Tin-Tin nodded. "Me too. Anything that you need or want me to do, just ask me."
"Marry me, Tin-Tin." Alan replied.
"What?" A bewildered Tin-Tin asked.
"I asked you to marry me." Alan replied.
"You want me to marry you?" A stunned Tin-Tin asked. "But what about the baby?"
Alan placed a hand over Tin-Tin's stomach. "You'll keep it, and we'll raise it together."
Tin-Tin looked up at Gordon and then back to Alan. "But what about Gordon? This is his baby too."
"I know." Alan looked at Gordon but addressed his comments to Tin-Tin. "And he will be involved in this child's life. This baby will be raised like any other child from two-parent homes. As a matter of fact, with us all living on the Island, he will be involved almost as if he was your husband."
Tin-Tin flushed slightly as she remembered Gordon's earlier proposal that she had turned down. She turned to look at Gordon with an unspoken question in her eyes. He gave her a barely perceptible nod of his head. She turned back to Alan. "I know this isn't the way that either of us had envisioned a proposal, but I accept. It has been my greatest dream to become your wife, no matter what the circumstances."
Alan leaned forward and kissed Tin-Tin long and deeply. When they separated, Alan said. "I love you Tin-Tin."
Tin-Tin's eyes filled with tears, this time with joy. "I love you too, Alan."
Gordon cleared his throat, slightly embarrassed. "I think that I should leave now. I'm sure that you two have a lot of plans to make, starting with a date."
"How about tomorrow?" Alan asked Tin-Tin.
Tin-Tin shook her head. "I don't think so. There's no way I can plan a wedding in one day. We'd be lucky to get the marriage license."
"We could elope." Alan suggested. Tin-Tin's only reply was a raised eyebrow. Alan laughed lightly. "Okay, okay, we'll plan a wedding. How about a month from today? Is that enough time?"
Tin-Tin smiled. "I think that's doable. I'm sure that once we tell our families, we'll have a ton of help."
Gordon quietly made his way towards the door, but stopped when Alan called to him.
"Hey, Gordon," Alan said. "I'm going to need a best man."
"You want me?" Gordon asked in disbelief. "After what I did?"
Alan nodded. "My forgiveness needs to start somewhere. Besides you were my closest brother before this happened. It just seems right."
"Thank you, Alan." Gordon's voice choked with emotion. "I can't tell you what this means to me. I'd be honored to be your best man."
"We can talk about it more tomorrow." Alan said. "Plus, there's something 'private' that I need your help with."
"Sure thing, Alan." Gordon replied in confusion. "Goodnight, you two. I'll see you in the morning."
Once Gordon left the room, Tin-Tin turned to Alan. "Are you sure that you want to do this? I don't want you to feel trapped."
Alan brought Tin-Tin's hand to his lips and kissed it. "I won't feel trapped. I always figured that we would be together some day. This just gave me the push I needed."
"I love you so much, Alan." Tin-Tin said. "But I really should leave now."
Alan nodded. "Okay, get plenty of sleep tonight. Tomorrow, we start with the wedding plans. Plus we need to discuss your pre-natal care with Brains."
Tin-Tin leaned in and kissed Alan. "You're right. Goodnight, Alan."
Alan watched Tin-Tin as she left the room. Once she was gone, he moved to the window. He stared at the moon that illuminated the clear sky. He thought to himself. "Oh, Mom, I hope you're right that I can forgive this because I'm really going out on a limb trying." Sighing, he turned away from the window. Deciding to take his own advice, he began to ready for bed.
Author's Note - Well, Alan now knows, and a proposal. Wow. We know. Some of you don't think that Alan would never react like this, but until a situation happens, you never really know how a person will react. People can really surprise you when push comes to shove. Anyways, we hope that you liked this chapter. The family will be finding out in the next chapter. We hope you all stick around for that too.
Thanks again to all our faithful readers and reviewers. We still sit in amazement at the reception of this story.