There was a knock on Axel's bedroom door, she screamed at whoever it was to go away, but of course they didn't listen and kept knocking. So she got off of the bed and stomped to the door, throwing it open, tears still streaming down her face, but when it was her two best friends on the other side of it and they were all standing in the doorway holding onto each other, and for the first time since Dean showed up Axel felt okay.
Not like okay in the sense that everything was going to go back to normal, but okay in the sense that she had these two amazing friends who were going to miss her and weren't going to be the same once she left. She wasn't going to be the same either, that was absolutely certain. So the three of them sat and they talked for a long time, pretending that nothing was different than it was two days ago, and that's what Axel needed.
It wasn't long until Kristen stuck her head in the door, "Hey kiddo," she smiled, "Are y'all hungry?"
"No,' Axel shook her head and looked to her friends, "I think this is goodbye," she said, "Might as well get on the road. Sooner I do that the sooner I'll get back to Kansas."
Kristen sighed softly, "I'll come see you," she told Axel, "If you want me too… Emily, Dudley, you guys can come too if you want," she looked at Axel, "If that's what you want."
"I would love that," Axel nodded and looked to her friends, "Do you guys mind if I spend a few minutes alone with my mom?"
The words hit Kristen like a ton of bricks, she was this girl's mom… Axel still thought of her as a mom. Dudley and Emily hugged Axel once more before leaving the house.
"Axel," Kristen sighed, "You have no idea how sorry I am that I lied to you. But Dean asked me to do this for him, and I loved you dad so much. I love you too, more than anything. And all blood aside, I still see you like a daughter. I would do anything for you."
"I know," she nodded, "And I'm not going to lie and say that I'm not mad that you lied to me, but I'm way more pissed that you're not really my mom… Because you're the best that I'm going to get."
Kristen wrapped her arms around the girl, "I wish you could stay here with me, you are the best thing that's ever happened to me," she kissed the top of her head and sighed, "Years ago when your dad and I broke up, before you were ever born, I was pregnant. I was going to have his baby, but before I could get a chance to tell him I had a miscarriage. I thought that the baby was going to be my way back to him because I loved him so damn much," she took a breath and a tear rolled down her cheek, "I didn't see him again until years later when he was on my doorstep, begging me to take you in. I didn't know why he needed you to stay here with me, I still don't know the full story, but I took you in without a second thought because I thought that you were going to be my way back to Dean, because I loved him so much," she shook her head, "But you were so much more than that, after the first week I knew that you were all that mattered. I can't even remember my life before you… I love you so much."
"I love you too," Axel agreed, "I don't know who my biological mom is, but you are my mom. I just want you to know that."
"Thank you for saying that," Kristen squeaked out, "This isn't the last you've seen of me, I promise. I'll come down to Kansas as often as I can and you're welcome here anytime. I'll pay to fly you here myself if I have to."
"I appreciate that," Axel smiled, and looked down as Bubble was rubbing up against her and she kneeled down to hug her dog, "You'll take care of Bubble, right? I know Dad's not going to let me take her."
"That's where you're wrong," Kristen explained, "He'll let you take her, I talked him into it. You're already losing everything here, you're not losing the dog that you saved."
"What about you?" Axel asked, "Won't you miss her?"
"Of course I will," she said, "But Bubble needs to be with you, you're her person."
"Thank you."
"Of course," she smiled, "Anyways, let me know what stuff you want back home in Kansas with you. I'll mail it to you."
"I'll make a list," Axel chuckled sadly, "Feel free to turn my room into an office or whatever. I don't mind."
Kristen smiled weakly, "Thanks kiddo. You got a suitcase for the road?"
"Yep," she nodded.
"I'll start mailing some of your stuff tomorrow, it'll probably get to your dad's post office box before you even get home. Just let me know the things you want most."
"Will do," she nodded and grabbed the dog leash and her suit case and Kristen grabbed the bag of dog food and they carried the things out to the Impala together. Dean was leaning up against the car doing something on his phone, he had just woken up from a restless nap on the back seat, but when he saw them coming he opened up the trunk of the car and loaded up the suitcase and the dog food.
"Ready to go?" he asked his daughter.
"As ready as I'll ever be," Axel sighed and turned back to Kristen, "I'll miss you."
"I'll miss you too," Kristen hugged her again, "Let me know you guys are safe."
"I'll text you nonstop," Axel assured her and opened the back door to the impala so that Bubble could jump into the car, "Tell you what, I'm not looking forward to the hot ass summers south of here."
"Can't say that I blame you," Kristen agreed.
Dean laughed softly, "Thanks for taking care of her," Dean said to Kristen, laying a hand on his daughter's shoulder, "Don't know what I would have done without you."
"It was my pleasure," she nodded, "You two be careful."
"We will," Dean assured her and nodded at Kristen before walking back around to get in behind the wheel, waiting for Axel to get in so that they could leave.
Axel sighed, "See you soon, Mom."
"See you soon," she agreed, "I'll come down there for Thanksgiving, or I'll fly you up here. Whatever you want."
"I hope so," she smiled, "I don't want what my dad did all over again."
"No chance in hell," Kristen smiled, "Now go, before I start crying."
Axel nodded and got into the front passengers seat of the car, reaching her hand up to pet her dog who was now licking her in the face, and looking in the side mirror at Kristen until they were too far away to see her anymore.
"Are you hungry?" Dean asked, "We'll probably drive through the night tonight and pull over tomorrow afternoon and get some sleep. Take it easy the rest of the way home, it's been a while since we've really talked. Thought this could be a bonding trip for us."
"Sure, whatever," Axel grumbled, taking her headphones out of her bag, plugging them into her phone, and turning her music on so that she wouldn't have to hear anything he said. She faded in and out of sleep for a while, only to be woken up by her dog licking her in the face yet again. She opened her eyes and the Impala was parked at a rest stop, but Dean wasn't in the car. Axel hooked Bubble to her leash and the two got out of the car together and walked around for a little while so the dog could relive herself, which she did immediately. Axel put Bubble back in the car and then found the bathroom for herself, she was about to burst.
After doing her business and walking out of the bathroom Axel checked her phone and saw that she had a missed call from Sam, so she called him. It rang twice before he answered.
"Hey kiddo."
"Hey Uncle Sam."
"How are you doing?"
"Could be worse," she sighed, "Guess I'll be seeing you soon."
"Yeah, sorry kiddo. Wish that Dean had told me ahead of time. I would have come up there with him or at least called and let you know that he was on his way. But I had no idea that he was coming to get you, and if I had to guess I'd say he probably didn't know either. He loves you, Axe. He's really missed you."
Axel rolled her eyes, "I gotta go Sam. Will I see you when I get home?"
"Yeah, I should be home by then. I'm in Texas with Azzy and Olivia, but I'll make it home soon."
"Okay, bye," she said, hanging up the phone quickly when she saw Dean heading her way.
"Hey, sorry for just leaving you in the car like that. You seemed to be sleeping pretty well. I tried to get your dog to walk around with me, but she wasn't leaving your side for anything."
Axel nodded, "No worries."
"You hungry?" Dean asked, "We can find some place and pull over and get a meal or something."
Axel shook her head, "I don't want to leave Bubble in the car by herself while we do that. Let's just go through a drive through or something."
Dean nodded, "Sounds good. You ready to go?"
"Sure," Axel said, heading back to the car and climbing inside of it.
Dean got in and started driving, the sun was high in the sky, they still had a long drive ahead of them, "So, who was that on the phone? Your boyfriend?"
If Axel's eyes could have rolled out of her head they would have, "No, it was Sam."
"Oh? What'd he want?"
"He wanted to know why you lied to me about who my mother was and why the hell you just showed up here without so much as a call first."
"Really?" Dean scoffed, "Sam wanted to know those things?"
She shook her head, "Well, I'm pretty sure that he already knows the first part of that, but the second part yeah, he does actually want to know that."
Dean sighed, "Well, I didn't call first because it seemed like every time I would call you to let you know that I was coming up to see you that something would happen and I wouldn't end up coming. Figured if I called this time same thing would happen."
"Great, thanks for the info," she muttered.
"And I lied to you about your mom because if I told you the truth about who she was then I would have to tell you the truth about everything else. I had some things I needed to do, I had to keep you safe," he paused, "But that doesn't matter to you, what matters to you is you felt like your dad abandoned you with someone you didn't know, someone you had never met, and didn't bother to visit even once."
"Sam visited," she barked, "Once a year, he came and saw me. If someone who isn't my dad wasn't too busy than someone who was my dad should have made the time."
"I'm sorry," he breathed, not taking his eyes off the road as the impala flew down the highway, "I know you don't think I am, but I'm sorry. I wish that things had gone differently, I really do. But we are where we are and I can't change the past, all I can do is apologize and move forward."
"So you're telling me that you're sorry for abandoning me?" she demanded, "For leaving me with some woman I had never met and lying to me about who she was? You're saying if you could change it you wouldn't have left me there?"
"No," Dean shook his head, "I'm not sorry for keeping you safe, I would do it again in a heartbeat. I am sorry for lying to you and for making you feel the way that you felt, that I would change if I could. I want you to know that I did what I thought was best for you. You were just a kid, you wanted a mom, and I was trying to give you what you wanted."
"You know those nightmares I used to have when I was a kid?" she didn't wait for him to respond, "When you left they got so much worse. Every single night without fail they tortured me, to a point where I was terrified to go to sleep. Always the same thing, you being ripped to pieces, murdered right in front of me, but it was always me doing the murdering. It took me a long time to realize that. Someone whispering to me to kill, me doing it, and then going to them. Whoever it is, I don't know. I could feel your blood splatter my face, warm and wet. It felt so goddamn real," she took a breath, "At least when I was a kid I would wake up and you would be asleep right beside me so I knew you were okay. But all of a sudden you were gone and it got a lot harder to tell reality apart from the crazy crap running around in my head."
"I didn't know," he said softly, staring out at the road.
"Of course you didn't. You didn't care."
"Of course I cared," Dean argued, "You don't understand what I was going through."
"Likewise, Dad. I hardly got any sleep for weeks, because I didn't want the dreams to come back. Just told Kristen I couldn't sleep, so she got me some sleeping pills. That did the trick, for the most part anyways. Either I didn't have the dreams or I couldn't remember them. Occasionally they still came back, but it was better than not sleeping at all."
Dean sighed, but didn't say anything, there was nothing he could say or do to make this better.
"Should I even bother asking?"
"Asking what?"
"Who my real mother is? I mean, are you even going to tell me or are you just going to lie to me again?"
Dean took a deep breath, "No, I'm going to tell you the truth this time. I'm going to tell you who your mother is, but there's a lot more that you have to know before I tell you the truth. A lot of it's probably going to piss you off, but I hope that by the end of it you understand why I did what I did."