Scratch the Surface Chapter 37: Lions, a naruto fanfic

Star - Sorry I didn't update in... pretty much nearly a year. Couple months away I think. Motivation been escaping me since it's an old story now. But I don't want to stop writing it. I just hope the time spent and such means something in the end. I mean I know it's just another fanfic and I know that it's kind of my first and then that it's been there for me as practice and a record of my improvement and how I write and such... (run on sentence OTL), so to finally state the leading conclusion: in the end for this fic to mean something, is that it stood to improve my writing and how I steered stories after blocks and such. So that's what I'm supposed to appreciate it for. But I mean, I kinna hope and have been hoping it'd become a popular fanfic and be like one of those word-of-mouth fics that got people together. ^^; Cuz initially I wanted to write a story that made me happy, and a fic that did the High School genre good. But I guess it's not that type of fic, so I guess I'm happy enough for the momentary hype it did have and the people who have expressed great admiration in the past. I miss you guys and your reviews. But Naruto is nearly over, and I recognize that perhaps fanfiction isn't an addiction anymore to general population of fans (idk). C'est la vie. I wish I could update like I used to. It'd definitely be towards the end by now. I'm especially having a hard time figuring out how to get back into the original ideas I had for this story, such as ShikaTema, Gaara's story, NejiTenten-ness, and giving my OC's stories their clean cut endings. But whatever. Integrity is kinna lost here. I mean, I'll keep working on it and try to finish it as accurate (to my original plans) as possible. 'Cause if I don't go with my original ideas, it's not gonna be a smooth ending. Man, my original plot flow was amazing... wonder how it got this way. OTL

(chapter's title taken from and chapter theme inspired from tUnE-yArDs "Lions". Yeah just pimping that shit out now haha. Originally when this chapter was gonna be longer, it was going to be titled 'Losing Sleep' from Charlotte Sometimes, and back then I had also been on a Charlotte Sometimes hype, but that's old story now. I may use her for chapter titles later, on but something about "Lions" feels right. Maybe because this chapter feels a tad filler-ish to me, eheh. Anyhow, If you've noticed, I've defaulted to song titles because my lame tries at making anime opening titles was completely weeaboo. Fun at the time, but weeaboo.)

Scratch the Surface

Ch. 37 - Lions

Hinata turned on her side, her heavier thoughts settling like sand in a bottle of water, weighing her down as such.

"... Blonde... with blue eyes..." Tsunade was on the phone. Hinata was sure she was filing the Missing Persons report. "... about 170 centimeters..."

Pin-pan Pin-pon!

The bell rang.

The curtain pulled aside revealing a politely smiling Shizune.

Hinata sat up slowly, taking her time to slip her shoes on and stand up. She felt lightheaded, sleepy, exhausted and somehow indifferent but worried. She feared how soon she would have another breakdown. She feared about messing up her schooling again and having to take supplementary classes. She worried about Kiba.

Hinata straightened out her skirt and grabbed her bag, slinging the strap across her shoulder. She thanked Shizune, bowing her head and headed for the door. She glanced behind her where Tsunade sat at her desk. She was still filing the report. Hinata bowed her head to Tsunade and made her leave, but not before hearing the rest of Tsunade's message.

"... I suggest you check Naniwa-ku, Osaka-"

The door closed behind her, cutting the sentence short. Suddenly her ears yearned to hear the rest. She was tempted to creak the door open but hadn't the nerve.

The halls were noisy. Everyone was heading home or heading out. Hinata was relieved she didn't have cleaning duty today. She didn't think she could concentrate today.

Hinata dragged herself through the hall, partly because she was still exhausted, but mostly so she could slow down her thoughts. She sensed a change in her reality, this she had to figure out.

"You know what? I know where he is! I know where he is and I'm placing a Missing Persons Report to get him back here!

Because I know Naruto! If he's not at school, he's SOMEWHERE ELSE! He's probably in Osaka again!"

"I have some friends that live here. This old man, well, he's a carpenter! An architect! Him and his daughter and grandson live by here somewhere!"

Did that mean Naruto always ran away to Osaka? She had thought they had gone to visit Tazuna and Tsunami because it was convenient for Naruto. She didn't think he had chosen Osaka because he had always stayed at their apartment.

Was it actually bad that Naruto relied on their hospitality, then?

No... that's not what mattered here...

Tsunade was filing a Missing Persons report.

They were going to find Naruto easily.

Hinata swayed. She put her hand out against the wall and steadied herself. The reality she had been living in for the past two months, the realilty she thought she would be living in for the rest of her life, was coming apart around her like wallpaper. Psychological cover-up, peeling off around her, revealing the scars she learned from but wished not to be reminded of - it was hopeless, she would never get over this.

Now she could see, again- her battered, chipped, punched-in walls, riddled with graffiti, her fears and questions calling back at her.

What will happen now?

Will Tsunade have him come back to school?

Will he be in our year? Will he be in our class?

What if we see each other again?

I think you'll pass out...

What would Kiba think?

Will anything even happen between us again?

We're not together, we must continue to ignore each other.

What if we don't?

What if we forget?

What if everything just repeats itself?

"Naruto... is coming back..."

Kiba was embarassed over his possessive behavior at the Loft. He had been in tunnel-vision ever since Hinata came out of hiding. She wanted to forget and get better, and he wanted to help her. He couldn't ask to hang out with Hinata now after his behavior towards Moe, yet it didn't take him to realize this until Shino pointed it all out.

"You have a one-track mind." Shino stated flatly as the subway train bumped along the tracks.

Suddenly the cieling lights felt like they were all pointed on him, and Kiba hung his head in resignation.

Kiba stepped out into the courtyard, ready to head to his family's pet shop. The sky was overcast and the air slightly heavy with cool moisture. He saw Hinata making her way to the gate, her stride slow and her shoulders huddled. She seemed so small, it seemed unnatural for her to look so lonely. The Hinata he had first known was quiet and a bit timid but she had been confident, she had been comfortable in her skin and in her surroundings.

Now it was as if the puzzle had been taken apart. She was having trouble reconnecting what fit where and some pieces she couldn't even find anymore.

Kiba wanted to help her, but now thinking about it he felt like a meddler and a shameful friend.

He reminded himself he would have to be more patient.

"It won't be for a few days however, when they retrieve him," Hinata told herself as she started stuffing clothes in a black duffle bag. Once the bag was full she realized what she was doing and stopped. "Why am I packing?" She dropped the bag and stood up. She walked aimlessly around her room, at first to her closet then to her bed, then finally to her dresser. She decided to get dressed to leave the house and looked through her dresser for clothes but none of the ones she wanted to wear were there. Then she thrifted through the duffle bag and found the clothes she wanted most to wear at the moment and pulled them out.

She pulled on a pair of dark wash skinny jeans and long grey scoop neck shirt.

She chose to head out and grab something sweet in Shibuya to take her mind off things.

Yet she still couldn't believe how soon it would be until Naruto came back.

The thought hit her hard and she dropped pitifully on her knees, the shouji door wide open. The damp air clung to her skin, giving her goosebumps. Frigid breezes twined their fingers in her hair and dissipated like vaporous ghosts. His house stared back at her in the blue atmosphere, like a rudely smirking neighbor, reminding her 'You-know-who is coming back. And then you'll be coming back here every day'. Her nails dug into her palms as she fought against the hurt she continued to harbor. Her heart felt swollen, like a dead body that'd been soaking in the bay for three weeks, or an enema undrained. It beat the same way it did when they had kissed, her mind crying out his name.

'Even if a few days... he's going to be here soon... What am I going to do? He feels so close already... I thought my life was going to be brand new... I thought I could make him irrelevant... ... ... this sucks... I can't pretend he didn't matter to me... God, why does he have to come back?'

Hinata collapsed onto her back, throwing her right arm in resignation over her soggy eyes. Her heart continued to beat to the recorded sensation of their kisses and she found herself wanting him back even more and more.

She couldn't stand the thought of him returning, but she wanted him back more than anything.

She shivered in the cold, tears soaking her forearm and cheeks as she moaned in her humiliation.

"... don't make me face him again... please... "

She hadn't a clue who she was asking, she just needed to be heard.

She needed to regain control of her fate, less she give up altogether.

She had to protect the remnants of her dignity. She had to prove she was strong enough solo.

It was coming down outside. The rain tenderly beat the earth and drummed like thick fingers atop the rooves and city buildings.

Tsume stood before the front door of her petshop, angling her head left and right to see if anyone was heading for their store.

"Akamaru's not going to get out is he, Kiba?" She asked her son warningly. He was playing with the puppies in the pen area they had set up in the farthest corner of the store. They nipped and clawed playfully as his hand, occasionally stopping to nip and claw at one another.

"He knows not to get out when it's raining. I allowed him my room for the day anyways, so I don't think he'll be going anywhere."

Tsume nodded at this, giving a little huff after some time, her hands on her hips.

She was feeling quite listless and wasn't sure whether to fight against it or give into it. After all there was very little call to be productive with today's weather.

"It's good you know your dog so well. Some people don't even deserve to be pet owners." She complained, shaking her head derisively at past experiences.

A vagueness hovered throughout the shop, infecting its residents with a gloom that neither gave nor bore a sadness, but rather sucked the color out of the daylight.

Hana was hunched over her veterinary textbooks, mostly about animal medicine and breed disposition to certain diseases. She was applying for graduate school in Iwate Prefecture. The city wasn't for her anymore, she liked the cooler climate and humble surroundings. The view of Mount Iwate in Morioka was her favorite as well. Whenever Hana's iminent move was brought to mind, pleasant excitement and uneasiness would stir in a sluggish way inside his stomach. He'd think about how he would have one less overbearing female prescence in his immediate life. He'd think about the possibility that his mom may focus even less on him with his sister gone, unable to keep their mother organized and help her multi-task. But then he'd think about the distance. He'd think about how the most pragmatic person he knew wouldn't be around for him, that his only view into the female mind would be miles and miles away. He never asked her for advice before but as the days passed and the more he thought about her leaving, the more he wanted to ask her things and tell her things. As siblings there was an inheritance be to close and he hadn't taken advantage of that inheritance.

"Hey, Hana-neechan...?" Kiba mumbled self-consciously as he turned himself halfway towards the register counter. He dropped his voice and shut his mouth, his mother having run interference on his call. She was right next to Hana, talking to her about the facts presented in the textbook, his sister nodding attentively sideways and providing some of her own insight.

Sometimes Kiba wondered if his mother just preferred Hana better because she couldn't get along with males. After all she couldn't keep their father or any men around longer than a night.

But Hana didn't have that problem. She didn't have her mother's eyes and she didn't have her mother's curse.

'Do I... maybe?' Kiba wondered apprehensively. He had some runs with girlfriends in Junior High but never longer than a couple nights to a couple weeks. All this time he figured it due to puppy love, that he was attracted to a girl and she showed some interest back. But now he wondered if it ran deeper than that. Hinata seemed to want him around. She seemed to want to stay close to him. She looked to him for comfort at times, he hadn't been imagining that. But she had been in love with someone else. She was hung up on this other person and yet she was done with this person now too. And no matter how gentle and patient Kiba was with her, they didn't grow any closer. It was like her feelings stopped here with him.

Could this be his mother's curse? Could it be that girls could only get so close to him? Could it be that he could only have brief, meaningless romances?

Kiba knew he would be a good boyfriend to Hinata. He had no doubt or fear in his mind about that, he would never do her wrong. He had no reason to fear hurting her, but since the other night he had become concerned with things he never considered before.

What if the respect he felt for her wasn't good enough to make him her boyfriend?

What if respect wasn't good enough to hold a relationship together?

Could he express his love for her without the guise of gifts?

'She would eventually tire of gifts...' Kiba knew as he shook a toy maguro sushi plushy in front of the one-month old boxer. It was her favorite toy last he remembered, but the pup just turned her head and walked away from it, finding her surroundings to be more interesting.

Kiba began to feel hindered by his simple protective nature. Like a fourty-year old bachelor feeling his age, Kiba felt the flaws in his personality and in his perspective; His one-track mind when it came to something he wanted or cared about, his possessive tendencies and his jealousy, his over-confidence that his boundless loyalty and respect made him the worthiest person to be with Hinata... these were all in fact his flaws, and his capacity for loyalty was his only defining trait.

He had no idea what else was good about himself and this festered a doubt in his worthiness.

'This whole time I've been too cocky... I can still be a great boyfriend for her... but that's really not enough... Maybe what I thought was progress with her was all my imagination...'

Hinata had hoped the rain would obliterate the thoughts in her head. She had hoped the rain would pound out the pain in her body.

Her hair clung to her face and neck. Water rolled down the back of her scalp, down her spine and absorbed into her clothes. Her shirt was a gradient of moisture, dark grey clung to her shoulders and against her bra, the lower half mostly dry but spotted with droplets. She shivered in her skinny jeans which did nothing to keep her warm but constricted her in the cold.

She stared down the front door of Naruto's abandoned house, its emptiness echoing hers. She felt alive somehow, painfully alive and delirious. Her chest swelled and ached with pangs, her heart was brimming with childlike wishes and overflowing with motiveless love and distraught 'why's'.

Why for running away?

Why for being so kind some days and uncaring the others?

Why for calling her his girlfriend but never wanting to ask her out?

Why for touching her but never wanting her fully when he had the chance?

And why for that video?

Did he want to humiliate her?

Did he see her worthy of ridicule as others did?

Hinata walked towards the house, stepped onto the porch and stared blankly at the door. She rested her fingers on the knob, then gripped it. The cold metal permeated her feverish skin. She turned the handle and gently pushed the door. It didn't budge. She glanced up, remembering that the jamb had originally been broken and the door had trouble closing all the way. But now the door was firmly locked in place. Her brows furrowed as she narrowed her eyes at the hinges and corners.

She blinked, her eyes wide open. Her realization came instantaneously, the memory passing through her like a ghost. She could feel her forehead against the door, the soggy mutterings and betrayed cries. She could feel how hot her tears had felt that night, she could hear her own words, how she told herself she should hate him, how she had been shattered, sapped, and a shell. That night the door should have opened with ease. It would have opened with the slightest push from all her noise.

Had the jamb been fixed during her time away?

And who been here that they even bothered to shut the crooked door completely?

Hinata turned the handle more firmly and thrust her wrist forward. It gave a creak but nothing more. She pressed her shoulder agaist the door and pushed. Once, twice, three times, each with a promising new creak.

One last time she thrusted her hand on the knob and threw her shoulder into the door. It flew open and pulled her along. She stumbled clumsily into the genkan, gripping the knob fiercely to keep herself from falling. She pulled herself up and closed the door, shutting herself in the staleness. A smell hung in the lonely home, musty and damp like a garage, and the distinct spice and headiness of his boyish odor clinging to the walls and the floors and from the bathroom.

There was another smell as well, it lingered in her nose and tingled her sinuses.

The tang of blood.

She began to unconsciously register this smell in association to the troubled blonde. Barely a resident of Tokyo for five months and Naruto managed to expose Hinata to more blood and violence than she'd ever seen her whole life.

"How much worse could things get, then?" She muttered in sarcasm, as she imagined herself and Naruto back at it by next week, finding something new to be upset about with each other every other week or so, arming themselves with the other's insecurities, cuddling and snogging at night when their hormones and loneliness get the best of them, then finding disappointment again in the morning. And the past three months apart would be a hiccup in their timeline. The cycle would begin itself all over again and again and again:

I like you.

I want you.

I love you.

I need you.

You're not good enough for me.

I can do better.

I miss you.

Let's just be friends.

I like you.

I want you.

I love you.

I need you.

You're not good enough for me.

I can do better.

Currently their position was 'I'm not good enough for you', which was how Naruto ended their brief-lived official relationship, but that was in fact code for 'You're not good enough for me'. So when he would return, their position would become 'I can do better', in which he would ignore her for the most part and try to fulfill that part of him that felt number one. And when he failed at that and he would see her in 'a new light', he would say he missed her and want to be friends again until their hormones got the better of themselves and they would be in eachother's arms once again. This sharp contrast from negative to positive would make Naruto temporarily possessive of her, until the day she messed up somehow and he would want to move on and 'try something new'.

I like you.

I want you.

I love you.

I need you.

You're not good enough for me.

I can do better.

Hinata slumped against the wall, hard and with an unsteady swerve. She slid down to the floor in a helpless 'plop', her head barely held up in her dizziness and silence. A tetnitus-like ringing radiated in her ear canals, blocking out all thought, rationale and emotion.

The tang of blood hovered in her nostrils, unnoticed at first, before the more familiar it became the more unusual it became and she remembered her other senses.

Her eyes immediately snapped to the empty rectangle in the floor.

There was supposed to be tatami there. A blood-drenched tatami, with shards of metal from a small knife. And a pair of bloody tweezers.

But all were missing.

The only source of coppery tang was from the sink where he had washed his split open arm, the aluminum greatly enhancing the smell of what must be now: flaky, crusty, black-brown streaks of spilt sanguine.

First the door was closed tight.

Now evidence of Naruto's prior existence had been appropiated.

Hinata's face flushed heavily. She brought a hand to her mouth. She thought it interesting that her hands were as clammy as they were, and how puffy and hot her lips felt.

"Oh my god..." She sighed as the thoughts raced through her thoroughly run over mind.

Tsunade had filed a Missing Persons report.

And Naruto was in Osaka.

But not out of choice necessarily.

"...I'm so stupid." She grieved with a deep, dry release of breath as she collasped forward, head in arms and arms on her knees.

The sun hid behind a thicker patch of clouds, making the light weaker in the home and the world a little greyer, quieter...

...

Hinata opened her eyes and stared at the tatami beneath her.

Foggily she lifted her head as if wondering what did she have left to look at.

There was something she realized about the tatami just then.

They were inauspicious.

Naruto laid out on a bench in a quiet park, listening to the soft clinking of a trotting dog being walked heard behind him, a hushed discussion between a couple going on four feet from him outside the park perimeter, and the rhythm of cutesy J-Rock emanating from the electronics store across the street.

It was a slightly warmer night. Naruto had grown more and more comfortable sleeping without cover, despite Sato's advice. He felt like the romantic vagabond, where his every day was anything goes and a decent bed could be found anywhere.

It was sort of funny how growing up, even up until now, he strived for the success of yakuza. Perhaps no longer as yakuza, but to have trophy girlfriends and wealth and a fine house without having to follow society's examples. Even while being a Junior High drop-out, with no workforce skills past construction work, he still imagined himself capable of power and respect and God's most beautiful women.

But during those days he often ran away - just like now - and slept on benches - just like now - and found himself content in having nothing but access to everything, to having no roof and no roots but having true independence... it was funny that he ever still dreamed of having the exact opposite.

Perhaps this was the best existence he could achieve.

He didn't care about yakuza anymore, didn't need money, didn't need to hold onto his womanizing fantasies any longer.

Highly fictional bullshit... It's the same as porn: You watch enough of it you begin to think it's normal.

Sleeping on a bench, most people would consider him a victim, others a loser.

But he lived most of his life like this already, it seemed this was where he was meant to end up- despite others saying the same thing to insult him.

Perhaps if he hadn't spent all his days in dreams he would have saved himself from the lifestyle he was born into; he wouldn't have to be outside like this.

But maintaining the life he was given... was this so bad? Did he really fail himself? Or considering his circumstances, was this the natural outcome?

"Whatever it is... guess it doesn't really matter. It's not like I've gotta prove myself to anyone anymore."

Hinata snuck back in her room. It was black out and she knew her father had returned not more than two hours ago. Yet she chose not to show herself, her mind wild with ideas. She could not be bothered with unpleasant interaction. She hadn't the concentration to wear her facade for Hiashi.

Everything felt so maddening all over again.

She had to look for him now, but obviously she couldn't.

No, she'd have to wait until the weekend.

"Oh my god..." She mumbled for the fiftieth time, vexing over the time and flexibility and priveleges she did not have, fearing and fearing that she'd never get to him in time, never get to see him again to warn him, to use the upperhand she has currently been blessed with.

No, she couldn't leave home so easily.

She had barely made it into her second year after the gruff she put herself through because of Naruto. She couldn't dishonor the trouble Kiba went through to getting her grades back up, nor by disappearing again.

"But they... could find him tomorrow. Tsunade-san already gave them Tsunami-san's address-" Hinata shot herself up and grabbed the dufflebag she had previously packed. However fear shot through her chest like a massive icicle, the chilling shock bringing her back down to her knees in a strange sway.

The thought of Osaka paralyzed her. Perhaps it was the idea of train that terrified her most.

Just remembering the train rides to Osaka, a heartwrenchingly seductive collection of memories with him...

She couldn't believe how innocent she had still been before he broke it off.

But it wasn't just the sweet, almost childlike memories that numbed her legs.

What if she took the train to Osaka and never made it back home?

If she somehow fell back into that girl she left behind and stubbornly, selfishly tried to follow him again? If that insanity was just waiting to ensnare her again?

And what if she came to fully forgive him as she made her way to Osaka? What if she came across some misguided epiphany that exonerated him once again from her cycling heartache?

She didn't trust herself at all.

It wasn't just him and his fickle feelings towards her that caused that cycle. She was just as terrible for letting it happen. Though it seemed like it always started at him, if it had to end with her, then she was the most responsible for the cycle.

In truth, she was both encourager and initiator. He was a wheel that needed a hamster to spin, until she kicked so hard that he threw her off. And damned would be her if she decided to go back on again and try to overcome inertia when they all knew it was going to happen sooner or later.

"Is there anyone that I can bring with me?" Hinata whispered to herself, saddened that she could not do this venture herself. "And... who would be a better choice? Someone I'm close to, or... someone who is neutral?"

There were voices coming from the kitchen down the hall. It sounded rather lively, which Hinata would find uncharacteristic of their home had she noticed it.

Hanabi was especially talkative it seemed. That was the only voice Hinata acknowledged through the haze in her mind.

Hanabi seemed like a good choice, Hinata thought. She could almost imagine taking her along...

Hinata got up around 6 AM, two hours before the school bell. She hadn't really slept at all, having spent most of her evening in obsessive thoughts, staring at the cieling until 3 AM before succumbing to a half-asleep state where she lulled in and out of awareness. The sun hit her room around five, reintroducing her back to her real life.

Hinata glanced towards the corner of room, at the dufflebag shoved within the shadows beneath her dresser. It was properly packed, an effort she had done out of those obsessive thoughts hours ago. She didn't know what made her think she was definitely going to go looking for him. Just because her bag was prepared didn't mean she was ever going to be prepared to confront him. So she had hidden the mistrustful thing, vehemently refusing its implications.

Perhaps they may find him today... perhaps tomorrow.

She still wasn't going to give into anxieties and rush off to Osaka just for him.

"Nii-san..."

He sat at the dining table, chin in his hand, brooding beneath an ominous cloud. His glare was fixated at nothing until he flicked his gaze up towards Hinata. She responded with confusion, having never seen him look so angry since they were kids.

It became awkward, Neji's scowl going unchanged. Why wouldn't he say anything? Hinata flushed faintly and shifted her weight back onto her left heel. She was afraid to leave or look away, thinking she may give him reason to be annoyed with her.

Neji closed his eyes and gave a tired nasal sigh. He had shrugged off the tenseness, however there was still touches of incredulous indignance in the edges of his brow.

"I, I..." Neji paused and suspired again. He wasn't sure what to say. He felt compelled to apologize, he couldn't drop the bomb, and he wanted so much to keep her from knowing, from changing. If he could protect her, he would keep her just the way she was. It wasn't going to be possible. He couldn't move her out of here, couldn't take care of her on a whim before she became sucked into Hiashi's plans. "I hate him."

"Hm?"

"Your father." Neji smirked ironically into his palm, regret touching his scowling eyes.

"O-Oh..." Hinata nodded with a faint clueless smile, somewhat glad to hear something she's heard from him before. "Something happened?" She joked lightly, assuming it was the same recycled grudges.

Neji didn't answer her. He stood and walked to her, turning his head towards the direction of Hanabi's room down the darkened hallway. She wouldn't wake for another hour or so.

"Let's get an early breakfast." He said, pulling her under his protective wing and holding her close to his side as he lead them out of the unhappy home.

He felt the need to keep her closer now, to remind them both of their bond. She would go away soon, she would be taken away.

They stopped by a bakery and left with a large paper bag of anpan, croissants, broiche, and Portuguese sweet bread. The street was quiet, mostly store managers, mothers and businessmen were about at this hour, gathering their groceries and getting their convenient meals for the go.

She and Neji seemed to stop making eye contact with each other since they left the bakery, both consumed in the problems they wished to fix.

Hinata grabbed a sweet bread from the bag and brought it to her lips.

'Maybe I should just let them find him... even if he comes back here... I'll just ignore him... and he'll ignore me. He'll ignore me so easily... either way, we'll keep our agreement. And even if he does return to Matsushita, he won't be able to join the second years. He'll be an underclassman and ignoring each other will be even easier. ... Even though I suspected suspicious behavior at his home... could it really be all that dramatic? Maybe I just overreacted... I don't really know what happened... I just... don't know if I really should bother with him... if he doesn't want to be found, if he doesn't want to come back... that should be his problem then. Right? B-because... how bad could returning to Tokyo be?'

"N- N-Nii-san..." Hinata mumbled sheepishly, anticipating a weird look for her question.

"Hm?"

"Wh-what... d-do you know a-about yankis?"

Her instincts were right. Neji was smirking surprised.

"Why? You're kidding, right?"

"Why would I be kidding? I-I'm asking a question." Hinata muttered, her face a bit flushed. What was there to kid about anyways?

"It's just that... they're not really around anymore. At least not in the same way. There are no more youth gangs for starters."

"But what is a yanki exactly? I'm not really sure I understand the word of others so far..."

"Yanki are typically uneducated brats; abusive punks and frequent truants who only know how to communicate through violence. They have no respect elders or authority, usually following their own code whatever it is. They've been known to be chronic shoplifters, and often pull pranks and deface property. They command respect from their peers through fighting, challenging other groups for territory or 'power'. As well, they're typified to use butterfly knives, switchblades, bats..."

Hinata watched the way the bleach-water in the sink grew redder and redder from the switch-blade knife she had left to soak.

The water was practically opaque, practically the color of a tomato, there was just so much blood coming out of the blade's handle.

She thought of the day she found him in Shinjuku, beaten and bloody.

"Was this from that day? Did he use this?"

"... Some legitimately grow up in bad situations, but otherwise they're all benign dickheads. By the end of junior high, they grow out of their yanki phase and blend in with society, making all their crass moot."

"I see..." Hinata nodded solemnly, eyes downcast to the side. Neji's explanation was more scientific than she would have liked, but some of the things he said did give her a little insight.

However... 'dickhead' seemed to be the generally agreed upon description.

Perhaps she shouldn't have gotten so offended towards her friends back then when all they'd said was merely the universal opinion.

They walked back home around 7:20, side by side, as if to prove to themselves there was no distance.

Hinata took a couple of brioche and sweet bread with her, deciding to head to school early. The croissants were for Hanabi.

Neji turned and watched her steady retreat, like a heroine making her curtain exit of this scene, the rest of her story not to be played out for the audience.

Not until she was halfway down the street did he turn into the house, ready to escort Hanabi to school.

He knew the world became a bit smaller.

Hinata stopped short and swerved towards the infirmary. She nearly bypassed it in her haste.

Could they have word already?

"Perhaps I should wait until after school...' Hinata murmured solemnly, fearing that she would become obvious to Tsunade too easily.

Why did this have to be so complicated?

She had no one she could speak to about this. The more she thought about Naruto, the more isolated she felt from everyone else.

He shared with no one. He trusted no one. He had no family, and all his friends were gone. Yet there were still people who knew him.

But Hinata knew the difference between those who know you and those who know you well. Once you have those bonds, you can't let them go. You think of how your life was before them, and you realize how difficult it is find and how rare it is to have such people in your life and to have them actually like you. Sometimes you can't decide if you're luckiest person alive for having these friends or a complete loser because you had to have them to be complete.

Shadows and edges blurred, bubbled, and washed out, a flood hitting her eyes briefly before rolling down her cheeks in large droplets. She turned sharp on her heel, marching a few steps down the hallway before tightening her fingers around her bag handle and swinging her randoseru at the ground in a burst of frustration.

"Why did I have to leave him?"

Shino was witnessing something strange.

Hinata and Kiba hadn't spoken all afternoon. Hinata was back to being distant, caught up in her own mind and unaware or unwilling to interact with others because of those thoughts. Kiba was purposefully avoiding Hinata. At times Shino saw shyness in Kiba, at other times he saw resolve.

Was he honoring some wish of Hinata's to leave her be? Or was he trying to control himself better?

Shino knew that other night with Hinata and Moe had struck a nerve, however Shino didn't expect Kiba to learn from it so soon. He really cared about Hinata, it wasn't just an infatuation. Shino saw that now and was reminded of the respect he held towards his childhood friend, despite all his flaws.

He just hoped Hinata wouldn't drift away from them forever.

The day felt so lonely. Hinata was ashamed she hadn't tried to talk to Shino or Kiba, but she didn't know what to say to them. She felt estranged, like she were in a colorless void, their friendship and all their lunches symbolized into a rope extended out to her, while she stood staring at it, not knowing how to grasp it, or recognizing what it was. Did the rope usually reward her or did it usually punish her when she accepted it?

All she could think about was Naruto.

Hinata headed for the infirmary, making sure she wasn't slumping or looking troubled this time. She felt so embarassed for troubling everyone, she couldn't believe she has fainted as much as she has. She really hoped Tsunade wouldn't get exasperated with her when she paid her visit.

She found the room and gingerly pressed her palm against the door and gave a firm 'now or nothing' push. The lights were off, making the dim white office even blander. Hinata's already sensitive nerve began to crumble at the thought that Tsunade wasn't here. That familiar sting of saline hit her eyes again, anxiety hitched in her throat; She was never going to get to Naruto before them.

"M-Maybe if I j-just wait... Tsunade-san will return... eventually..." Hinata just couldn't believe Shizune wasn't here either.

It was the end of the day.

Why would either of them need to return to the infirmary?

Hinata dropped her randoseru on a nearby chair, deciding to wander through the infirmary until she'd given up hope waiting.

How was it that just the past 24 hours could feel like a week?

Hinata went from bed to bed, pulling aside curtains and closing them back up. She briefly considered taking a nap, but then again she didn't want to get stuck sleeping over at the school. She hadn't really slept last night after all.

She pulled aside one curtain and shrieked when she saw a body in the bed.

"I"m sorry!" She shoved the curtains closed immediately and ran for the door, her face and ears burning.

"Mmrngh... wait..." Came a yawn.

Hinata knew who that was.

The curtains pulled halfway aside, and rolled over was Shikamaru with a half-lidded expression.

"...You don't need a bed today, do you?" He asked groggily as he let out another yawn.

"N-No." Hinata shook her head assuredly before dropping her gaze to the floor. She recalled crying so violently in front of him on the train, the hankerchief she received from him, his effort to help her walk from the station to school. Even his trembling hands. Or perhaps it had been her who'd been trembling. She hated that she had been such a spectacle, she hated having to look so uncool and have it imprinted unto others. Perhaps that line of thinking was a bit too neurotic of her though, as honestly... could she have prevented any of those things?

"..." Shikamaru took a look around the room, as if trying to register his surroundings. He flipped back onto the bed and disappeared so quick Hinata flinched. Then his arm shot out from the side and beckoned her. "C'mere..."

Hinata glanced around her immediate surroundings, wondering if she really should go to him or not. At least he didn't say ' 'mere'.

She grabbed the chair with her bag and dragged it over to Shikamaru's bedside.

Neither spoke up for several one-sided awkward seconds. Hinata had imagined he would have had something to say since he called her over but he was laying there with his eyes closed like he were asleep again.

"...Do you know where Tsunade-san could be?" She was hopeful.

"Hm..." Shikamaru crossed his arms behind his head, "... probably got drunk during her lunch break and went home early forgetting what time it was."

"O-Oh..." Hinata visibly diminished, finding that to be depressing, both in its description and its believability. Was Tsunade a drunk? Or did she just enjoy the drink too much? It seemed like the most prominiment habit she had, in fact it was perhaps the only thing Hinata knew or noticed about Tsunade, Naruto aside of course. But that last time she had cried missing Naruto, and Shizune had to convince her not to pull out the sake...

Hinata hadn't realized the whole time Shikamaru had been observing her through one open eye.

"What'd you need with Tsunade?" He inquired, trying not to think too hard about the last time he saw Hinata. It freaked him out pretty bad, he almost pissed off Temari when he couldn't hold a proper conversation with her that day. But far as he knew it was a one time thing that needn't be brought up again.

"I-I don't, I was just cu-curious." Hinata weakly lied, far too somber about it to be convincing. However, somber enough to have the question dropped, or ask for a tactful counter?

"So you were going through the beds hoping to find her?"

That reply made Hinata blush. She diminished further, her head looking like it would fall off her neck the way she kept curling into herself. Shikamaru caught his mistake and snapped his fingers a few times under her face.

"Oi. Don't do that." He reprimanded. However his dry monotone didn't clue her in that he was teasing. He figured now that she was much too sensitive for jokes and semantics. Hinata immediately straightened her back, shoving her hands in her laps, but she kept her head down wishing not to meet eyes. Her face was still stained heavily with humiliation. "...troublesome..." Shikamaru sighed involuntarily, immediately regretting his slip for Hinata was curling back into herself. "N-Not you-! Don't do that!" He stammered flustering. He never thought in his lifetime he would be the reason a girl was crying. People never took Shikamaru too seriously or took anything he said to heart. He was the deadpan snarker. But Hinata was a completely different person than those he was used to, and the same could be said about him for her. He forgot about that.

Shikamaru sat up and rubbed the back of his head, working through his vocabulary to come up with a more tactful voice.

"... Have you been well since yesterday?" He peeked carefully from the corner of his eye, waiting for a response from the solemn Hyuuga. She said nothing. 'Apparently not...' He tried again, "... Has... anything changed since yesterday?"

There. That was the golden question. Shikamaru gained 1 exp. for Talking to Girls, and 3 exp. for Intuition.

Hinata squirmed under his gaze, clearly unsure how to respond. But if she had to be that uncomfortable then she had something to hide. Further prodding could kill the conversation, but then it could save her if not temporarily.

"It's nothing." She muttered.

Shikamaru thought she wasn't strong enough to keep this to herself, he didn't know how she was expecting to get away unscathed and not talk to someone.

"Is it something you feel more comfortable sharing with Tsunade?"

Her eyes fluttered hesitantly up to his. She shook her head faintly, her voice soft, shot with anxiety.

"I can't tell her either..."

Shikamaru paused. His eyes widened a bit as he turned to her and looked at her seriously.

"What is it-"

"Please stop asking-!" She cried, face now red with frustration. The silence that followed was tense and uncomfortable for them both. Hinata couldn't take his eyes boring into her for much longer and marched for the door, bag swinging blindly in her hand.

"Wait, Hinata-san!" Hinata reluctantly stopped, Shikamaru's voice sounding profoundly urgent compared to his usual bored drawl. She turned halfway towards him, waiting for him to speak. "Do you have Temari's hankerchief with you?"

Hinata nearly spiralled to the floor.

She forgot it.

Shikamaru decided to walk home with her to get the hankerchief back. He silently promised to leave Hinata alone after the return. She seemed genuinely annoyed with him and after he got back the cloth, they wouldn't have any reason to interact with one another.

He was correct to think Hinata was annoyed with him, however he didn't know a part of her was somewhat grateful to have him walk her home. Maybe she just missed having company... But she was sure it was because of the duffle bag. She was afraid to be alone, she didn't trust herself not to grab the damned thing and run.

Part of her sort of wondered if she could hang out with Shikamaru a little longer, maybe a few hours...

Hinata entered her room from the side shoji, leaving Shikamaru to wait outside. There was an almost eerie silence that lasted for two minutes before Hinata came bursting out of the side of the house, startling Shikamaru. She was even out of breath and more nervous than she had been going inside.

Hinata extended the freshly cleaned cloth to him. Shikamaru anticipated the upcoming distance once he took it, disappointment taking him as he felt a bit lonely for her.

Their fingers brushed briefly. The cloth returned to his pocket, and as Shikamaru was ready to bid this potential acquaintanceship goodbye, Hinata said the most surprising thing.

"Nara-san c-can I... h-ha-hang around w-with you today?"

Caught off guard, he looked at with her wide eyes and parted lips. He soon smiled, a warm spot filling his chest.

He was glad she didn't distrust him after all.

Hinata got a text on her cell phone.

'Where are you? I heard you come home but then you were gone.

Sender: Neji'

She texted him back.

'I'm hanging out with a classmate today. I'll be home for dinner. -send-'

The next one came a couple minutes later.

'You can catch dinner in the city. Don't worry about coming home on time.

Sender: Neji'

That... didn't sound right.

'Why? What happened? -send-'

The next reply was faster.

'I don't want you to talk to your father.

Sender: Neji'

The words stared back at her.

Black text on white background never looked so ominous than now.

Hinata sent him a swift 'okay' and hastily tucked her cellphone into her bag. She heard her phone buzz again as it fell to the bottom, but she wasn't sure she wanted to read the new text. What Neji was saying was unnerving enough. Again she wanted to cry.

It felt like she had something to be scared of, a reason to resent... but Neji wouldn't tell her anything. She felt like she was encouraging a betrayal.

Shikamaru stopped walking after noticing Hinata fall behind. He turned halfway round, and took in her wan expression. She was held hostage to bad news again. All awareness of a safer world was gone to her.

He walked back for her, the loneliness and isolation emanating from her in shallow waves. He placed a hand on her shoulder. Slowly her eyes met his sturdy gaze. He rubbed her shoulder reassuringly, taking her out of her trance and reminding her she could be at ease today. With a shuddering sigh, she nodded to him and began to walk again. Her subsconscious taunted her in secret, every step she second-guessed like she were heading further and further out into space.

The closer they got to their destination, the more reluctant and unsure Shikamaru seemed to become. They were in Setagaya, heading towards what seemed to be a regular hangout for the Nara. Considering that, and the fact these were his friends and no one Hinata knew, he thought she would feel more comfortable not being around people who would worry over her. But then he began to realize, or rather remember, that there was more to this family than their casual sarcasm and impassive way of bickering.

They were a family with a history of trauma themselves, shaping them into the sort of people least likely to get along with Hinata, and people Hinata would never fall into acquaintances with normally.

'This is going to be weird...' Shikamaru sighed inwardly, tacking a 'troublesome' at the end. 'No... perhaps this is going to be very bad.'

"Hyuuga-san, I feel I have to let you know," He paused to glance at her. Her expression told him to continue. "These very good friends of mine... they're the children of the late Senator Sunahara." He glanced again. Now Hinata was looking at him like he was crazy. "They're just as badly affected by what's happened as anyone would be, so don't let your knowledge of Gaara affect your impression. Their family is more normal than you would expect."

"I'm sorry..." She felt ashamed of herself for having gawked.

"It's fine. I feel like I must have blindsided you now-"

"No, no... They're your friends. I appreciate being included. Usually... when I'm like this... everyone just wants to stare at me and dote on me until I'm better. I don't want to be alone but I don't want to be the center of attention."

Shikamaru gave her a small smile, and nodded. "I know."

Weather worn and water-stained concrete foundations greeted Hinata's eyes as they turned the corner of tree-lined green mesh fences. They passed by two grey garage doors, then a couple shrubs. White bricks and a small black gate embraced securely the first residence, its door similiarly black. Then another grey garage door. More shrubs. A parked car. They turned another corner, down into a narrowing alleyway, telephone wires criss-crossing over them as the houses and trees seemed to be ever increasing this sort of slow-motion embrace atop the pedestrians who strolled by. Hinata rather liked areas like this, where separate abodes almost seemed on top of eachother like a mismatched family. One would be truly acquainted with their neighbors in these almost jigsaw-perfect arrangements.

It wasn't until one more set of homes that they came across a white brick walkway tucked behind a full grown hinoki cypress tree, with a line of shrubbery guarding the face and further obscuring the property from passing eyes. Hinata followed Shikamaru up the white walkway, which started as shallow incline and became a veritable hill. A small set of steps were put at the peak of the hill, leading to flat land and the main property: a U-shaped complex where the walkway split in three directions at the center: To the right a guest house, 32x22 sq. foot and washitsu style. To the left a much larger compound, equal to that of the mansion- a two-story white Georgian building with traditional Japanese aesthetics, such as the modest balconies, dark tiled roofing, wooden slat siding, and shoji windows. A few juvenile cypess trees lined the front of the home, shadowing the entrance way to the front door. The left compound was similar to the washitsu guest house but retained some exterior aesthetics that the mansion had, making it a homogenous addition, the modest corridor between them proving that it was part of the house.

The overall property was walled and well populated with greenery. The trees gave a secluded feel to the residency, it made Hinata forget they were still very much in the middle of city life. And the pristine design of the residence was very fitting to that of a parliamentary member. The orphaned were almost blessed to keep all this- but Hinata did not doubt there must have been many legal struggles in order for them to stay.

But still...

Nara pushed the doorbell twice, the rings blending with eachother as his releases had each been slow.

Hinata fiddled with her fingernails, her head ducked down slightly as she nervously waited for Shikamaru's friends to greet them.

The late Sunahara had three children. Two boys and one girl. The girl was the eldest. Hinata couldn't quite recall their names nor their faces, only Gaara had gotten the noteriety. Him, and his also late uncle.

But what if it wasn't just one of the Sunahara children who answered the door? What if it was some other friend of Shikamaru here on a 'surprise' but not surprising visit? Or what if it was a friend of the Sunahara's who answered the door? This place was huge, whose not to say that the daughter and eldest son both had friends over, and many friends at that.

'Ohgodpleaseno. I'm not prepared f-for... s-so many strangers at once...' Hinata felt herself sway to the side at the thought.

Hinata was alright with mutual friends. But the mutual friends of mutual friends? And what of the mutual friends of mutual friends of mutual friends? One person invites three and three invites six... and before you know it it's a third party house party, one of those things that's only fun when you have your own plus-one. But when you are the plus-one? In Hinata's case, she'd definitely be the odd girl out. Shikamaru could easily mingle with everyone there because he's part of the innermost circle, the beginning of the chain. How would he introduce Hinata to them all, huh? ''This is my classmate', that's what he'd tell them. I'm his classmate, not like a middle school friend or anything. I'll be suffocated by my own status as an outlier...' Hinata had her head down, staring at the hem of her skirt, focused unconsciously. Her mind was all swept up in these ideas, including various fearful imaginations of thug-like friends awaiting inside, scenes of awkward questioning and her own fumbling answers putting her on the spot every time.

Just when Shikamaru thought Hinata would fall backwards from her unconscious swaying, the door finally opened.

Hinata eeped, actually 'eeped', at the first part of all her anxiety scenes coming to fruition and very well began to fall backwards.

The house jerked and swayed before her eyes. She caught sight of a head of dirty blonde hair, thick and shaggy with almost coarse looking ends, or perhaps bleach-damaged... kind of like a lion's mane... before Hinata fell too far, and the underside of the roof jerked to a stop. Shikamaru managed to catch her right arm in time. He tried to pull her back up, making the world slowly jerk back in place for the out-of-it Hyuuga, much like a crank bringing in the scenery inch by inch. By the end of this moment Temari was leaning against the doorway, incredulous and rubbing her eyes like she didn't just see some dumb school girl nearly fall on her ass and have to get pulled back up like some dead weight ragdoll.

"What the fuck did you bring, Nara?" Temari sighed as she walked away, allowing the two permission inside. Shikamaru rubbed the back of his neck in mild embarrassment, currently more worried about how Hinata was going to get along with the siblings, if at all. Although, he was kind of betting on Temari leaving Hinata off to her own devices after the first few minutes. If Temari was annoyed now, she wouldn't bother later.

Shikamaru had to lead Hinata in by hand.

He didn't mind, but he could fill in Temari's sarcastic observations himself.

She had a medley of potential comments to make about him, from 'babysitting a brain dead 1st grader' to being 'Matsumoto' from the film Dolls, dragging around the physical punishment of his ex-fiancee Sawako in her semi-vegetative state after trying to commit suicide.

As lengthy as the last potential comment was, it was effectively as embarrassing and not because of the specific ex-fiancee drama.

Maybe perhaps it happened to fit too well that made it embarrassing.

And when it's true that's when you squirm the most.

The home was unlit. It retained the aura of familial death: quiet, somber and isolated. Hinata felt herself slowly pulled into the Sunahara's seclusion, like paper doors folding over each other, locking her in, forcing her into the center scene of their lives.

The kitchen held a cozy glow, a sense of pleasant privacy in the company of the hazy sun, in the center of gloom that normally surrounded them. However the funereal tinge did not escape the conscience. The orphaned carried their burdens and brought them here to this table, unspoken, unshared, but never forgotten.

Shikamaru pulled out a chair for Hinata, and pulled up a seat for himself. Hinata timidly took her spot at the end, Shikamaru sitting at the middle of the long side, positioned in a way that was open to Temari and protective of Hinata. Temari took a seat at the other end, just as aloof and casual as she had been when greeting them. She seemed annoyed however, and suspicious, as she glanced at Hinata every now then, her eyes flat and hard as always.

Hinata's hands found one another and began their wringing ritual in her lap. But she wasn't concerned if this Sunahara didn't like her. Shikamaru invited her to this part of his life, she was their guest and he her escort. She did not feel so lonely.

"So what's up with her?" Temari asked Shikamaru coolly.

"She has no where to go, so she's hanging with me for the day."

"Nobody wants her?"

"It's... it's a bit of both." Shikamaru replied with tentative sadness. Hinata could feel him radiate a silent apology for her predicament. Her eyes fluttered down to the side, briefly, before fluttering back up, realizing she was close to sinking back into those thoughts. But then she found herself staring at hard blue eyes, dark like stormy waters.

"That sucks." Temari directed at Hinata, eyes boring so deep.

"Y-Yes..." She uttered softly with a hesitant nod.

"You're not scared to be here?"

"Gaara's still at the Tama Reformation School, so there's nothing to worry about," Shikamaru interjected for Hinata. Hinata nodded to him, slow at first, realizing that she hadn't even thought about it until now. Shikamaru had assured her not to fear his friends, somehow Gaara had gotten grouped in there in her mind with previous knowledge completely forgotten. She didn't expect to meet Gaara but she didn't expect to not see him either. Hinata was beginning to feel reprehensibly silly from all this.

"She didn't know?" Temari blinked incredulously at Shikamaru.

"And what kind of question was that if she did? Everyone with even the slightest media awareness knows that's been Gaara's prison since the trial began." Shikamaru replied with a sarcastic grimace and gave Temari a feigned irritated bristle of the shoulders.

"But what if I hadn't meant Gaara, smartass? She could be scared of us too. And shit- this entire property is practically haunted with ghost stories after what family secrets the media circus has peeled away over the past six years. Haven't you ever imagined what happened in that hallway before?" She accused rhetorically, as she stood over with one hand on the table, and pointing with the other a strong, tapered finger toward the hallway they had came from, "I know you've played it out at least once. Anyone that knows would, whether they wanted to or not."

Shikamaru shifted a bit awkwardly in his chair, an apologetic look sitting reluctantly upon his face. The bickering had nearly began but somehow steered into semi-serious conversation. Temari had always been self-conscious about the exposure and harassment of the media, but how it hurt her feelings never showed and in moments like this, he often took her strength for granted and forgot she really had genuine feelings. Lately, she hasn't laughed at adversity in that impudent manner of hers. As he thought about it now, that was an obvious sign.

"Well..." He started, hoping to appease her with an indirect sort of apology, "I told her it'd be fine to come here. She understands my position here with you guys and sees no reason to be uncomfortable here."

Temari sat down at this, taking Shikamaru at his word. However, it didn't necessarily settle things and he would have to give her a true apology sooner or later. It wasn't Hinata personally that she was concerned about. Perhaps it was just the reminder that there was no privacy for them anymore. Having a completely oblivious guest was probably the only type of person they could ever invite inside, but didn't make her feel better, just reminded her how lonesome they really were because of their tradegies.

In the midst of their little argument, Hinata had began to feel guilty for being here. She was ashamed to have somehow brought out this discontent in Temari and to have blatantly listened to their conversation. The matter was obviously sensitive and she should have excused herself or something. But she was afraid to have interrupted and afraid to have forsaken their kindness had she gotten up to leave. They didn't tell her to wait elsewhere until they were done, they didn't seem to take much notice to Hinata at all, making her feel like both a rude fly on the wall and a wholly accepted guest. It was confusing what to do in those situations. Usually, she figured in these sort of moments, that she was forgotten in midst of conversation and so they hadn't excused her to leave but otherwise would have wanted her to. She would have taken the initiative to give them privacy. In an ideal world, she would have that tact, but instead she still relied heavily on direct orders and such. She didn't trust her read on people all the time, and yet she remained berating herself for not doing anything. And then, it was times like this that this neurotic, contradicting flaw of hers made her feel so abnormal. It was no wonder Naruto pitied her so.

"Well whatever then." Temari sighed heavily with an apathetic shrug, "It's not like this house couldn't fit in another headcase, right?"

"Hm. Good to see you're finding some common ground." Shikamaru smirked humorously, causing Hinata to fluster.

"N-Nara-san!"

"He's just teasing." Temari smirked in turn, "Although, it can't be far from the truth. I saw you fall over when I opened the door. And he had to yank you back up like some dead weight doll. You didn't even try once to straighten yourself out."

Now her abnormal-ness was at the forefront.

Hinata hung her head.

She heard a little snicker to her side as a comforting hand placed itself on her back and did a lazy job at shaking her in a 'come on, cheer up' way. She perked up a little so not to offend, but remained looking bashful and a little bit confused.

However, it was nice to feel that platonic affection from Shikamaru. It made her feel assured and a bit more normal again.

It didn't take Hinata too long to meet the other sibling, Kankuro. He had returned home not more than fifteen minutes later, lugging with him a near-to-life-size wooden ball-jointed mannequin that seemed incomplete the more you looked at it. Hanging from his heavily stuffed backpack were nylon strings and in the outer mesh pockets you could see plastic packets of glass eyes and errant paint brushes. He had paused in the kitchen entryway when he saw Hinata, blinking at her rather curiously, the thudding from his mannequin's heavy feet stopping with him. Hinata could see hanging from his right arm as well, a couple of plastic bags full of fresh new BJDs.

Light brown hair and not more than a couple inches taller than Shikamaru, he held a bland expression on his face as he met the group seated at the table.

He looked the most like his father.

He stared at Hinata, eyes detached and guarded. It made her squirm inside, she felt her face flush several times. Warm, cold, warm, cold, hot, warm, cold again. She wondered what he would say to her.

Kankuro shrugged his shoulders and shifted the mannequin's weight in his arms in a way that looked secretive as he entered the kitchen.

"Hey man." Kankuro coolly greeted Shikamaru, casually patting his shoulder.

The way Kankuro held himself was like meeting a cousin you only knew from words, there was this familiarity to him that was so strange yet lucid, like deja vu. She never met him before, but she knows someone like him. She could see this person in him, see this person move as he does, glare secretively like he does, act tough as he does.

The discomfort she felt was almost giddying, but not because of him, but because she felt like she was closer to understanding something. What Neji failed to answer her this morning, part of it was before her now.

"Making more friends there, Kankuro?" Shikamaru smiled in a light smirk as Kankuro leaned his mannequin against the corner and his backpack and bags on the floor.

"Got a good deal on these hand-me down BDJs. I met my anon friend from the forums in Omotesando who sold them to me."

"And then you just left after that?" Temari prodded coolly, a tinge of disappointment in the tone of her question.

"Sure." Kankuro shrugged, taking a seat across Shikamaru.

"You talk to this person online constantly for years, and just when you finally meet in person, you go back home like there's nothing else to do?" Temari was incredulous. "How can a friendship so intimate stay that way being strictly virtual? You're living in a fucked up backwards way! No one's ever going to hang out with you talking to your puppets like they talk back, Kankuro!"

"It turned out to be a 'she' by the way. And our partnership has only blossomed by staying anonymous. Something that already works well should not be pushed further, because that's how ya fuck it up, jaan."

"Whatever retard, you're so fucking anti-social." Temari sighed irritatedly, leaning her forehead in her palm.

A heated, awkward silence hung in the air thanks to the siblings, bringing Shikamaru to grimace and want to facepalm as well for he had been hoping for anything but this to happen with Hinata here. How could he possibly make it up to her if the rest of this visit was going to be the two of them bitching at each other?

But something caused Hinata's tongue to slip.

"I-I think I kn-know what he means..." She murmured under her breath, bringing everyone out of their cocoon of thoughts to lay all eyes on her. The attention made her hesitate as usual, but she didn't feel utterly self-conscious. "M-my c-cosplay friends... L-Last Christmas we... we decided to become like real life friends. After we gave each other our real names, it hasn't been the same. It's so messed up and I think, that I like them less now... It just doesn't work, changing anonymous relationships..."

They continued to stare, but it wasn't an uncomfortable gaze. Hinata shifted a bit nonetheless though.

"Do you wish to be anonymous with us?" Kankuro asked, getting a smack to the back of the head from his incredulous sister.

"Don't be making some sort of code now! You can't translate that anonymous shit with every social aspect!" Temari was mad for Kankuro to propose such a thing because she already knew the girl's real name thanks to Shikamaru.

Now Hinata began to feel unsure how to answer that. Somehow, the merging of dual identities had been the thing that killed so many relationships already. What with her actual life causing rifts with her group, constant questioning from Kiba about who she is or which side she's on, and then Naruto... Who clearly had a dual identity crisis of his own. Even without divulging that side of him, preventing anyone from seeing it has been enough for him to burn bridges.

"I-I don't know..." Hinata replied quietly, glancing occasionally up at Kankuro. It was just so fascinating to her how similar his vibe was, his whole countenance. That stern, rather impudent grimace in his eyes, so much different than regular people and how they hold others in esteem. He would fight someone if he felt like it. Just like Naruto. She didn't understand why or what was making her this intrigued by merely angry people, but she was. Maybe it was a stubborn thing, like how much it pained and burned her up inside when she thought of how she could never prove to Naruto they can connect, just to get him to respect her enough to open up. It felt like something she'd come so close to achieving several times before but each time it just never happened.

"Like it really matters, I already know her real name, Kankuro." Temari glared in a pointed aloof way at her brother. "She's Shikamaru's classmate, we might as well know her as she is."

"That's the most logical statement made all argument." Shikamaru sighed with a sarcastic sort of relief, hoping for the petty random bitching to end completely.

"So what is your name?" Kankuro asked, this time, without glaring.

"It's Hy-Hyuuga Hinata."

Perhaps it was hearing her speak for herself that got Kankuro to warm up to her.

Maybe it was hearing that she's a Sunday girl that established some common ground.

Hinata honestly didn't how she could possibly connect with the Sunahara siblings at any point in her lifetime, but she could say that for some reason, she liked it here with them.

Kankuro had suggested they order pizza several hours ago. Hinata had enjoyed herself a decently distracting dinner. The siblings were as caustic and rauceous as Shikamaru implied them to be. The verbal bombs never stopped dropping. Sometimes it got so ridiculous it was hilarious. Hinata never thought she'd ever laugh at the expense of other feelings nor at the simplicity of mean as hell insults, but she was, and it almost made her feel like a kid, maybe made her feel like her age.

She didn't feel the least bit immature though. She felt natural.

"Seriously Shikamaru, what are you doing with a girl who has a bigger dick than you?" Kankuro argued back, earning a shower of pizza toppings thrown right at his face from his sister. Shikamaru walked over to Temari and sat nonchalant on her lap.

"I need a big, strong woman to protect my genius." He joked along as Temari leaned back in her chair, one arm slung over the splat and a free hand toying with his ponytail, mimicking the picture of masculinity.

Hinata was giggling herself breathless. She brought her pizza up to her mouth, not realizing what she was bringing with it, and choked on her own hair.

The trio before her stopped all actions and words completely. They had seen the whole thing and couldn't believe she actually almost ate her hair. Little bits of bread and other food chunks stuck to her silky thick locks and she was just as shocked at what happened that it made her laugh even more. Then she lost grip on her pizza and dropped it, the cold tomato sauce smearing on the inside of her thigh, the slimy sensation giving her the tickles and she just laughed even more when she failed to pick it back up again. Shikamaru and the siblings couldn't do much but stare. It was kind of amazing, almost impressive.

"Fuck, it's contagious." Kankuro muttered with an incredulous open-mouth grin as he felt the tickles worming around in his guts.

They were at the door now. The sun had set a few hours ago. It was 9:30-something or so. Hinata waited for Shikamaru under the overhang of the sibling's house as he continued to talk with them by the doorway.

"Is that part of her crazy?" Temari asked dubiously, curious if they should at all be worried about how damn much Hinata had been laughing. Shikamaru just shook his head and shrugged.

"We're just newly friends, I wouldn't really know." He smirked, a wistfulness behind his eyes. He had fun with her there. He was just happy she did.

"Hey," Kankuro started, grabbing Shikamaru's shoulders, "Feel free to bring her 'round anytime you feel like, yeah?"

"Yeah?" Shikamaru quirked an eyebrow at him, mix of amusement and relief on his face.

"She can be quiet or just as fucked up as we are, I don't care. Someone that laughs like that is worth keepin' around."

"You might've just caught her on a good day." Shikamaru replied hesitantly, since he didn't know her that well himself, there wasn't much about her behavior he could guarantee. Not more than five hours ago he'd taken pity on her because he knew he could expect an emotional meltdown at some point or another that he had to try to prevent. Whether she'd easily be all giggles the next visits?

"She minds her own business," Kankuro explained, a new light of respect in his eyes, "She's a good listener. That whole time she was laughing was because she was listening. She's a good guest." And then he smiled.

"Okay." Shikamaru nodded, smiling too. He felt proud this worked out. Kankuro tugged on his shoulder again.

"And she's kinna cute too. That doesn't hurt." Kankuro smirked before Shikamaru jokingly shoved him away.

"Yeah yeah, cuz the only girls you get to look at that aren't your sister got strings attached." Shikamaru nodded in a mock sagely way.

They said their goodbyes and Shikamaru walked over to Hinata, who tried to peer into the sky for stars, thinking maybe this hill and all these trees on the property would be provide enough darkness to combat the city's ambience.

It wasn't though of course. They were still very much in the center of the Metropolitan area. And the hill was only so tall and only so secluded.

He smiled at her though, and she smiled back.

Any worries she had before or ought to have hadn't come back to her yet, and it was a good thing. He knew the time they wasted provided nothing productive towards her resolving her issues, and he wondered how soon and how frightening it would be for her when they did rush back. But that wasn't something they had to think of right now.

'Maybe I should give her my cell number, in case she needs something.' He considered, feeling somehow responsible for her since that panic attack on the train.

They walked for some time under the stars, finding their way through the city, just thinking about the night breeze on their face and what homework they probably should have done.

Hinata had these other thoughts stirring in her head that intrigued her so.

"Kankuro, he..." She started.

"What about him?"

"... He says 'jaan' a lot doesn't he?"

Shikamaru almost laughed.

"Oh, heh. ... He must sound like a delinquent to you, huh?"

"It... It kind of reminds me of Naruto..." She whispered, looking aside.

"Does he speak like a stereotypical yanki?"

"Well, he doesn't say 'jaan' or other Yokohama-ben... It's more of that individualistic spirit they have, and that simmering hostility you can see very plainly. It's like they hold back this animal with one hand, on a very short leash, and the leash is just a piece of old rope. They don't really care what consequences their actions have, at least not until they've already done it. I don't know, is that accurate?"

"Accurate description of a dickhead, yeah." Shikamaru smirked to himself. "I don't want to put down your analysis there, but you sort of made it sound like a condition."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... the way you put it was kind of romantic. I agree with describing Kankuro as individualistic and insolent, but the not controlling your animal aspect is an asshole. It's immaturity plain and simple, don't you think?"

Hinata's eyes darted tentatively about, searching Shikamaru's face for any tells that could explain further what he was saying.

Perhaps he was right. Maybe somehow she'd been dressing up this trouble youth thing from the start.

What would this mean for her plan to see Naruto again before the police did?

Did she really want to try to save an immature person?

Who's fault was it that they couldn't get their shit together, right?

They were riding the train to her ward.

"Hey..." Shikamaru nudged the quiet Hinata with his elbow.

"Mm?" She hummed, still reflecting on her future.

"Gimme your cell phone."

She rummaged through her bag and fished out the white object, handing it over to him. She relaxed back into the hard plastic seat, holding a thousand yard stare with her reflection across from her. She didn't know what she was thinking of. It felt like she was still thinking, but no conversations ran through her head. Somehow it felt like her life had always been like this, like she's known Shikamaru all along, like she were this tadpole drifting in an out of social pools, having asexual one-night stands with a different circle a night.

Shikamaru opened up her cell phone, with the intention to enter himself as a contact. But as soon as he clicked the button to light up the screen, an unread text stared right back him.

Part of Hinata pondered if she could make this her new thing, her new future at least until something clicked. This was what it must be like for other teenagers, those that put themselves out there. At a glance they look irresponsible and useless because all their focus is put towards hanging out, having either too many friends or no real ones. But maybe it's just like this for them. Maybe they're deliberately honing their social skills, increasing their worldly perspective through various casual circles of acquaintances, toughening themselves through less than thought out decisions. How many of them do this because they want to know who they are? Do any of them find out? Do they find the place they're meant to be?

Shikamaru read and re-read the text subconsciously, nothing quite sinking in about it.

'This is important. I'm sorry.

Sender: Neji'

Hinata no longer had any lines, she had no shape. She could only hope to go with the flow and someday realize all the things school didn't teach.

"I feel wiser." Hinata announced aloud, not entirely sure to whom.

"Yeah?" Shikamaru inquired with a quirked brow. He'd nearly forgotten he was supposed to be entering his cell number in her contacts list. He exited out of the text and began typing in his contact info for her.

"I feel foggier too..." Hinata murmured, crinkling her brow at her reflection. Shikamaru gave a loud exhale and slid down the plastic seat until he was slouched alongside with her and staring at his own reflection. He shut her phone and handed it back to her. However Hinata didn't take it from him, and he did not release it from his loosely curled fingers. His fist layed in her open palm like an apathetic hand hold, but they were aware of the scrape of one another's skin in this position, his knuckles against her finger wrinkles, and the warm pocket of air from her palm surrounding his nails.

This must be what it felt like, those close-in-age sibling relationships. Maybe this was the warmth Kiba often spoke of when it came to her. It really didn't take much time at all to like her.

"I feel that way most of the time." He commented, a hint of a smile on his otherwise motivationless face.

Hinata climbed into her bedroom as she and Shikamaru talked about this and that, with Shikamaru staying outside. She was working up the will to bring up the dufflebag to him. They were getting along to so well she needed to tell someone. Hours ago she'd been petrified to breath a word about this to anyone at all. She thought it would be a breach of Naruto's confidence, she thought it would jinx everything and get him caught immediately.

Now thinking that didn't make sense anymore.

The conversation had winded down and Shikamaru could hear Hinata shuffling around for something behind the shouji. She came back with a bag in her hand and sat down on the edge. She kept her gaze fixated on the duffle in her lap for a while.

"You going somewhere?" Shikamaru inquired with dry humor.

She shook her head.

"I needed to see Tsunade today because she filed a missing persons report yesterday at the end of school."

"For Naruto." He stated, sitting down beside her.

She nodded.

"But she doesn't know that I was with him for a week. I needed to know if she got updated without being suspect about it. There were a few times already that I was afraid I'd hop a train and go back to see him. Because I think he has a right to know they're looking for him. I don't think he wants to be found or even be forced to come back here."

"That's troublesome." He sighed.

Hinata smirked wistfully.

"I can't get it out of my head though. I wish I could relax and let come what may..." She closed her eyes, the heartache settling over her like particles. "...Maybe doing this is some secret desire to ensure he stays there rather than ensure that he's safe..." She shook her head vigorously, shrugging her shoulders in a helpless way, because she could resolve where her feelings lay and it was exhausting, almost nauseating.

Shikamaru had nothing to provide on this matter and thought best to bring something else up, at least before he had to leave her for home.

"You had an unread text when I was entering my contact info in your cell."

"Oh." Hinata reached for her cell in her skirt pocket and flipped it open. She opened the last text she recieved, seeing that it was from Neji, the text she had put off looking at on their way to the Sunahara's. It told her that it was important and that he was sorry. "It's nothing important..." She mumbled, betraying her somber gaze and the fact she was still staring at the text.

"Said it was." Shikamaru smirked, turning his eyes up to the night clouds drifting slowly over the few stars in the sky. It was interesting how they picked up the hues from the city lights. Sometimes their foggy reddish-magenta hue made them look ominous, other times they reminded him of New Years.

"I had to be away from home, my cousin wants me to avoid my father for a while... I still don't understand why. I think I'm afraid to ask."

They sat in silence again. Several minutes passed. Hinata had been fiddling with the duffle bag handles, alone and unsure what to do with herself.

There were no clear answers for anything they had to deal with.

"You want me to go with you this weekend?"

Star - Sorry, I decided to end this chapter early. (sorry face with a wittle sweatydrop next to it, haha) Apparently this is only 3k words shorter than the previous chapter. At least the only way I could check said so. I don't have the original chapter file with me, dunno where it tis but I shall have to check later. Anyhow I just copy-pasted the previous chapter and uploaded it and says 17k, but dunno why I thought I had reached the ole 30k with that one. Eh, I'll look into it later. Anyhow, I'm rambling with this haha.

But I hope you enjoyed this chapter nonetheless. I feel like I'm whoring Hinata out platonically, haha. I just keep making her like this perfectly loveable person and I'm sorta trying to make everyone human, but I think my romantic nature is just glorifying everything to amazing heights. I mean, I'm still writing something that I like to read, but I think part of my inner child or whatever is still writing too, like just the whole rebellion, and youthful freedom, and friendship loyalty drama and shiz... Eh, dunno. Dunno whether it can be excused or not. Hinata is a loveable person nonethless, we all know that. I think I just wish I knew how to tone it down more, ya know, the parts where she keeps making friends without trying or keeps impressing people without trying eheheh... Ehhh, that's prolly one of the biggest thing that fails this story. OTL. I can whip up the drama and all the descriptive words to describe a seemingly insignficant twitch of the eye or whatevs, but I can't entirely well round the relationship dynamics in this story. Everything's some form of highs or lows, even the insignificant train ride scenes, sheesh. Eh, I'm ranting now because I still kinna wish this story was one of those word-of-mouth 'you gotta read this' type of fics. XD Like 'tvtropes fic recs' and all. (sweatydrop face). But anyhow, it's still a project I'm willing to finish. I think I'm getting somewhere now finally. Doesn't mean it's nearly done though. Probably half way over eheh. I sorta gave up on my original timeline. OTL

You know how I said this all began, and still is, me writing something I like to read? Yeah, I can't decide if this is how I actually want to write my original stories or not. T3T

Liner Note: Inauspicious tatami format, I read, is seen as giving a house bad luck and the four corners of a tatami should never ever touch. NEVER EVER TOUCH!

To PANTYANARCHY89: I'm highly driven by music too. Lately I've been having off and on 'fave tracks of the month', which means nothing's sticking long term with me these days- and music I was most obsessed with back in 06-08 don't seem to feel the same to me. I can't find something new to drive me and I can't seem to reconnect the same way with songs I loved endlessly back in the height of when I was writing this. However it's not a complete issue, just a setback. It's cool to hear we work the same way though. XD I enjoy and appreciate you sharing links and suggestions with me, and the double reviewing doesn't hurt either haha. XD But I have to be completely honest, just as regular person, I'm pretty much an 'Elitist Indie Bastard'. XD I loved your first link because Snow Patrol is win. But Cristina Perri's 'Jar of Hearts' annoys the crap out of me. XD I won't get into it if you like that song, but yeah, I already knew it and was like 'oh nooooo', lol. XD