My family is bigger and crazier than Erin's, most of the things they have done to various partners of mine, my sister's and my cousin's over the years could not be made up. Grandpa James is very real, he's my grandfather in all his crazy and creepy glory. Actually I toned him down and that in itself should terrify the lot of you.
Virgil's first thought when he pulls up outside the snow covered house belonging to Erin's parents is that she has not told him much about them. The house is huge, bigger than her stories about her childhood would have suggested. Then again he supposes that a couple with eight children would need a big house. Erin already has the door open as he makes his way up the steps to the porch of the house, her face split by a wide grin and strands of tinsel plaited through her blonde hair. At her side is a girl, probably no more than ten years old, who wrinkles her nose at them when Virgil pulls Erin into a searing kiss.
"That's gross, Aunt Erin," the girl informs them.
"Virgil, this is Sophie," Erin introduces them. The girl stares back at him with wide brown eyes then runs back into the house.
"Mommy!" She shouts as she disappears inside. "He's here!" Erin groans as she leads him through the door.
"She's Jordan's oldest," the woman elaborates. "Unfortunately, she inherited his mother's big mouth." Erin takes his jacket and hangs it on a coat rail that is already creaking under the weight of the heavy winter coats it holds, then leads him into the large family living room.
All told there is already over twenty people gathered there. Erin's parents are obviously the older couple, her father a balding man whose remaining hair is almost completely white. Her mother has hair that has been dyed a pale blonde, with just a touch of grey showing through at her temples, but she still seems to be at least a decade younger than Erin's father.
The first person to come and greet them is a tall male with the powerful upper body of a man who works out regularly and hair is cropped short and tight at the sides. His eyes, like Erin's, are green but they are hard and lack the warmth of his sister's. Virgil can identify him easily from Erin's descriptions, her pride in a brother who still serves in WASP. This is Eric.
"You must be Virgil," he says as he shakes the engineers hand. Though the squeeze is subtle enough that Erin will not notice it Virgil still feels the bones in his hand grind together and he returns it with a tight smile. Something flickers behind the other man's eyes and Virgil receives a barely perceptible nod.
"Which makes you Eric," he replies, noticing the attention of the rest of the family. After that follows a series of introductions to the other members of the family, the wives, husbands and children of Erin's brothers and sisters. It is a haze of names that Virgil has no real hope of remembering correctly.
Anna-Marie, Erin's mother, offers him a drink and he opts for a coffee rather than beer or whiskey. He has to fly in a couple of hours and though he knows that he could afford to have one drink he does not like to drink before he flies.
"So what do you do for a living, Virgil?" Anna-Marie asks. Beside him Virgil feels Erin tense and he rests a hand on her thigh for a moment in reassurance before answering.
"I do research and development for my father," he replies with a nonchalant shrug. "We handle a lot of the early stage testing and refinement for some of the more top secret contracts." The secret to a good lie is always to sprinkle just enough truth in there to make it believable. Their primary work may all be aimed at International Rescue but many of the less advanced phases are already being filtered into the mainstream market via the company.
"Must be difficult to do on that island," Eric observes. Virgil shakes his head, once more cursing the media fascination with the secretive and elusive Tracy family.
"Not really, my brothers and I work well together and we all have our fields that we specialise in. It's actually easier to think in the peace and quiet," he deliberately does not mention the chaos that can sometimes also result from being there with his brothers.
"It still seems a little bit strange," Jordan comments as the doorbell rings. Apparently expecting it Flynn gets to his feet and disappears to answer the door.
"After Gordon's accident it seemed like the right thing for us all to spend some time together," Virgil says, sticking to the story that was given to the media, "I guess we just settled there more than we thought we would." He sees realisation dawn on Eric's face and he knows that the man has put together a couple of the pieces.
"I worked with your brother a couple of times," he says, "what happened to him was terrible, he showed a great deal of promise and could have had a great future."
The return of Flynn prevents Virgil from replying but it is warming to know that a member of Erin's family thinks so highly of his brother. There is an elderly man with Flynn, who has the same kind of expression on his face that Gordon gets when he thinks of a particularly good prank to play, and the new arrival leans heavily on a stick as he comes towards Erin. Despite this there is a liveliness, intelligence and humour in the man's eyes that hints at an agile mind inside an infirm body.
"Erin, my dear girl," he greets the blonde as she gets to her feet.
"Hello, Grandpa James," her smile is fond as the old man pulls her into a quick hug.
"That school of yours is too far away," he grumbles, "you don't get home enough." Erin laughs. "Now, to important business, are you pregnant yet?" Virgil knows that his surprise must show on his face but Erin seems to take it in her stride with little more than a nervous laugh.
"No, Grandpa," she almost whispers.
"Well why not?" James demands turning his attention to Virgil. "How is she not pregnant yet, boy? You must know how it all works so what are you both doing wrong?" He sits next to Virgil and leans in close. "Of course if you're stuck I could give you a few tips."
"Grandpa, please," Erin's cheeks are flaming now, "we are not discussing our sex life with you."
"Nonsense," James cackles, "youth should always bow to age and experience and I have a great deal of both. It's about time you followed in your siblings footsteps."
"Flynn hasn't provided any kids," she points out.
"Flynn's got to find a good man willing to adopt before he can have kids and heaven forgive the adoption agency that lets him."
The attention off him for a moment Virgil excuses himself on the pretence of using the bathroom. He spends a few minutes locked in the room with the tap running, fighting the urge to climb out of the window and drive away as fast as he can. When he finally feels ready to rejoin the family he opens the door to find Jordan's husband leaning against the wall.
"You're doing fine," he says with a grin. "They're like this all the time. When Jordan brought me to meet them all for the first time James took me to see his knife collection and asked me to chose the one he'd stick me with if I ever hurt her. Tara's fiancée was given a written exam and the list goes on. Flynn's ex practically ran away screaming."
Hearing about the experiences of the others makes Virgil feel better, if only because it means that this is the norm for this family. He will still be relieved when he is in the air with Erin and on the way home. His own family can seem overwhelming at times but he will be glad of the familiarity. From Erin's expression when he returns he knows that she is eager to leave too and he glances at his watch concluding that if they leave now they should be able to get back to the island before the family meal is served up. It does not take them long to take their leave of the gathered Taylor family and Virgil is not the only one to breathe a sigh of relief once they are both settled in the car.
"Thank God that's over," Erin breathes. "Please can we go to the island now? I need to be around semi sane people for a while."
"We'd probably have better luck somewhere else," he points out.
"Maybe," she concedes, "but I'll take your family over mine. I just spent the last twenty minutes getting sex tips from my parents and grandfather, trust me, I'd prefer to forget this day happened."
"I can live with that," he grins.
Artemis