Chapter 36: Doubts
Wilson sat behind his desk as his patient walked in and sat down before him. Regretfully sighing, he folded his hands over the test results that were laid out on the desk. "Now, Mr. Harrelson, we took a look at your blood count and re-ran a few tests," he started, but was interrupted by House casually strolling into the room and sitting down on the couch.
"House!" Wilson snapped.
House looked over and acknowledged the patient. "Well, is he gonna live or die?" he asked.
Mr. Harrelson turned and anxiously looked to Wilson.
Wilson sighed and shook his head. "I'm sorry Mr. Harrelson. By these results, I would say that you have roughly four months at least. Possibly, you could make it up to about six," he announced as gently as he could.
"There. Problem solved. Now let's move onto those who still have a life ahead of them," House impatiently stated.
"I see," Mr. Harrelson breathed out. He stood up and shook Wilson's hand. "Thanks for trying," he said and then left.
Wilson waited until he left and then looked up to House. He could yell at him, but it wouldn't do any good. "So, you want to leave Cuddy?" he questioned, trying to calm back down.
"That's funny, I thought we already talked about this on the phone," House remarked. He was not in the mood to go through all the leading up, starting out light bullshit. He simply wanted to hear whether or not he was right. This was one of the only decisions he ever made in which he did not trust himself.
Wilson stood up and walked around to the front of his desk. "Fine. What is it you want to hear?" he snapped. "You want me to tell you how unselfish you are to leave her? Is that it? Or maybe you want me to tell you that she won't mind," he started going off on him. "Because maybe in Houseland that seems to work out. Don't think about the kids you're leaving her with. No, they'll take care of themselves. And that one girl that you had her fight to keep for you? She probably won't mind, as a matter of fact, she'll down there helping Cuddy to push you out the door!"
House just stared up to him with cold eyes. "If it's so damn wrong to leave her, why does she keep getting hurt while she's with me?" he hoarsely implored.
Wilson's expression softened. At that very moment, he saw something in House that he had never seen before. He was legitimately blaming himself for everything that has gone wrong.
"Before me, her and Rachel lived day to day in their little home and didn't care about anything else. I come into the picture and she's having problems with this kid, this one has a disease, she miscarried this one," House started. "Maybe she will be a little bit upset with me at first, but later on she'll be a hell of a lot happier."
Wilson was having a hard time coming up with an argument. It wasn't that he thought that House was right, he was just surprised. It was normal for House to run away just because things were a little rough, but this time, he seemed to honestly be putting her first. He blamed himself for her problems, and he wanted to leave so that he wouldn't be causing them anymore. The only thing though, was that the more he thought about it, the more it sounded like a little kid. In a way, he was still simply running away rather than stepping up and facing it. "And you forced all of this stuff to happen?"
House shrugged. "I know, it's irrational, idiotic, and childish. But, deep down, I know that she would be better off without me," he confessed. "On the way here, all she did was just stare straight ahead. She wouldn't even look at me. She blamed me. She wouldn't talk to me before or after," he explained.
"How do you know that she wasn't just a little preoccupied? I'm sure that there were a lot of things running through her mind," Wilson suggested. He really didn't want to see a relationship end because one person was too busy being nervous to talk to other.
House stood up and looked over to his office for a moment and then back to Wilson. "Here's something for you to think about. My current case, a three year old with no allergies, but her throat keeps closing up. I'll most likely be able to fix her, but mine at home is incurable while another has a history of suicide attempt and getting beaten," he informed him and then started for the door. "Pretty bad when you wish that you're kids had what your patient comes in with just so that you could be able fix them rather than watch them suffer," he stated, and then left.
Wilson just stood there and watched him leave. What was he supposed to say to that?
O o o o o o o o
Gabrielle and Andy sat up in her room. He sat in the chair as she laid down on her bed. She was trying to think of what to do to get House to stay. She had to think of something that would convince him that he was wrong.
"Did he say why?" Gabrielle asked, for what seemed like the one hundredth time that day. It was hard for her to believe that he was just planning on leaving like that. There was the miscarriage, but that was one event out of the others. There were times that were worse that he had remained there.
"Nope," Andy answered.
"Right," Gabrielle reminded herself. All these ideas kept running through her mind, but she could see all of them failing. "Maybe I should just go down and see him. I mean, what's the worst that could happen? He'll tell me I'm wrong and then leave anyways?" she questioned. All of her plans ended with him leaving. It was starting to feel like his absence was inevitable.
Andy looked over to her with sympathy. "You know, I could talk to him for you," he offered. "I could tell him what I heard and ask if it's true."
"No," Gabrielle laughed. "I would never make you do that," she assured him.
Andy leaned forward. "So, you want to go talk to him about it?" he implored. He knew that she was too worried to go talk to him. All she would do is get in a fight with him, and then they would be mad at each other. On the other hand, if he went, he was intimidated by him. There wouldn't be much of an argument and he would be a bit more calm. He could get more accomplished.
Gabrielle could tell that he was serious about this and decided to let him have the chance. "All right. Let's say I let you go talk to him. What are you going to tell him?" she inquired. This, was important. He didn't know how to talk to him like she did. If he said the wrong thing, then it would messed up and she would get absolutely nothing out of this.
Andy thought for a moment. "Well, I would start out by telling him that I unintentionally overheard the phone conversation and then ask him if he is planning on leaving," he said.
Gabrielle just shook her head. "That won't work, you gotta get him to tell you that he's leaving her. Otherwise all he'll do is deny it like there's no tomorrow," she said and then started to think. "Maybe you could talk to him about your being here on the weekends more often. You know? Try and get him to talk about whether or not he can handle being in the same house with you," she suggested.
Andy shrugged. "Maybe that'll be what gets him to stay here," he stated.
Gabrielle sighed. "You just have to get him on one subject and somehow get him to change the subject himself. I mean, it can't be that hard, I do it naturally to him all the time," she thought out loud to herself. "Maybe I should just handle it myself," she said.
"Do you think that if you told your mom, she could get him to stay?" Andy implored.
Gabrielle sat up and looked to him for a second. "No," she flatly replied. "I can't do that to her right now. That would just be too much," she explained.
If she could help it, she would never have Cuddy find out about him wanting to leave. It was hard though, she didn't know why he was leaving. What if he did have a good reason? And also, who was she too keep him from going if that was what he truly wanted? "Let's just leave it alone for right now," she instructed, blankly staring down towards her bed. "If he goes, he goes," she breathed out and then laid back down on the bed.
"So you're not going to talk to him anymore?" Andy asked. He was taken aback by her last statement. It was like she had suddenly just decided to give up and not care anymore.
Gabrielle looked to him as if he were being completely moronic. "Of course I'm going to talk to him. I have to know why he's doing this. I'm just saying though, if this is what he wants, I can't be the one to tell him no. I can't be the one to keep him here and have him more miserable than usual, bringing the rest of us down with him. I know that if he stays here without wanting to be here, we'll be the ones to pay for it," she explained.
Andy just nodded. He hated to see her just give up, but there was no arguing with her point.
"I guess there's one way to figure out why he wants out," she mentioned as she sat up and grabbed her phone. "I don't think Wilson would be the one to keep secrets," she stated as she began to message him, hoping that House wasn't with him while she was doing this.
Andy sat back and observed her for a minute. "You know that since you're giving up, it really doesn't matter why he's leaving," he told her, just in case Wilson didn't give her an answer.
"I'm still curious," she responded, keeping her eyes down on the phone. Really though, she had to make sure that it wasn't her. It was irrational, and she knew that. Deep down though, there was still that little part of her that made her believe that everything was her fault. It was more a reassurance that she needed. "Besides, if it's something minor, maybe it can be fixed," she lied. There was no such thing as a minor situation involving House and Cuddy.
One of the babies started to cry and Gabrielle stood up and tossed her phone on the bed. "Let me know if you get an answer," she instructed Andy as she walked out.
Andy reached over and grabbed her phone. He might as well humor her.
Gabrielle walked down to the living room and saw Cuddy walking Rachel around. "Need any help down here?" she offered.
Cuddy shook her head. "No, Rachel's just a little fussy. She's still not feeling good," she answered.
Gabrielle walked over to the play pen and looked down at Jessica and Elisabeth. "Hey there," she greeted.
Jessica looked up to her for a second and then continued to play with her teddy bear. Elisabeth crawled over and reached her arms up.
Gabrielle laughed, she knew what the little girl wanted and obliged. "Is that better?" she softly asked. She carried her little sister over to the couch and sat her down on her lap. Playing with her, she continued to peek up at Cuddy, just to see how she was doing.
It was time to ask. "So, how are you doing?" Gabrielle questioned, trying to sound casual.
Cuddy looked over to her for a second before she answered. "I'm fine," she responded. She had had her moments in which she started dwelling on what happened, but as long as she stayed busy, she was okay. It was something that she had to force herself to move on from, and the quicker, the better.
"I'm glad," Gabrielle said with a smile. At least one of her parents was okay.
"Hey, little miss sunshine!" Andy teasingly called from the staircase.
Gabrielle turned and saw him standing there. "What is it?"
Andy held up the phone. "You got a message," he announced.
Gabrielle picked Elisabeth up and headed towards Andy. She took the phone and saw that the message was from Wilson. While opening the message, her heart began to race. It was as if this thing were about to completely change her entire life. She carefully read over what he had to say, and then handed the phone back to Andy.
"What did it say?" he quietly asked.
Gabrielle checked to make sure that Cuddy was preoccupied with Rachel and then turned her attention to Andy. "He's just stressed out and helpless," she whispered. "He said that he feels like everything bad that has happened is his fault."
"Does this mean that you are going to talk to him?" Andy implored.
Gabrielle knew what he was going through, she knew the feeling of blaming yourself for every little flaw. It would never be easy for her to go up to him and tell him to grow up and move on, but at the same time, it was a stupid reason to leave. There was no way that she could ever accept that, and if she couldn't, she knew that Cuddy would never take that answer either.
"I guess," she sighed in defeat.