Iris stared at herself in the mirror, getting lost in the lines and contours of her complexion. She remembered a thousand other moments like this one, over time, staring into a mirror, puzzling at the image in it. Iris could still recall with perfect clarity the way she'd looked to herself at twelve and twenty, and especially that day when she was twenty-four; and she'd spent most of the free hours of that particular day looking for some subtle change her features, anything that might give away the fact that she'd lost her virginity.
"Iris."
Iris jumped and snapped her head quickly to the right. Jack was standing in the door way holding two cardboard boxes that smelled distinctly of breakfast. "You scared me." Iris said. She walked over to him, smiling.
"What were you thinking about?" Jack asked.
"Where did it go to?" Iris said shrugging her shoulders and pushing past Jack into the hallway. She looked over her shoulder at him and smirked. It conjured the memory of Iris bent slightly over her croquet ball as she positioned her mallet for the strike in the hot sun. Jack smiled and followed Iris into the dining room.
"The aristocracy." Jack said as Iris took a seat. Jack stared at her for a moment as she lifted the lid off one of the boxes. The entire platter was resting inside the cardboard service tray, as well as the diner flatware. Iris looked up at him. "They know me." Jack said as he took a seat next to her at the table.
"That was an awful lot of trouble for bacon and eggs." Iris said, lifting her plate out of the shallow box and placing on the place mat in front of her.
"Well." Jack said lifting the lid off of his own box and putting the plate before him. "Food always tastes better when someone else makes it."
"With all your gallantry lately, I'm a little surprised you would deny me the right to cook for you." Iris said, as she lifted her fork.
"Lately?" Jack said smiling. "Aren't we going to say grace or something?"
"I imagine that we would have to say grace over more than our food." Iris said, eying Jack and then her fork. "In for a dime, in for a dollar." She smiled.
"The surprises are always pleasant with you Iris." Jack said grabbing a piece of bacon from his plated and biting off a piece.
"God knows I'm grateful." Iris said, smiling at Jack then quickly dropping her gaze. It kindled hope in Jack as he sat next to her memorizing the exact dimensions of her profile as she sat at his dining room table, in case he might not get to see it again. "What?" Iris said, setting her fork down and turning in her chair to look at Jack.
"You're beautiful." Jack said, turning in his chair so he was facing her directly. "And why are you so far away from me?" he pulled at the seat of her chair suddenly bringing her knees to rest between his legs , along the side of his chair. Iris giggled. "There that's much better."
"You must be going blind." Iris said as she reached over to Jack's plate and grabbed up a piece of his bacon.
"That's mine." Jack said quickly grabbing it out of Iris's hand.
"You pulled me all the way over here, and now I can't reach my plate, it's all the way behind me." Iris said laughing.
"Allow me then." Jack said reaching for Iris's plate behind her on the table, forcing them into the intertwined position of an embrace. Jack dropped his head into Iris's neck and kissed her there. "Excuse me." Jack whispered into her ear.
"For what?" Iris gasped as Jack kissed again along her neck.
"My manners." Jack said more loudly, grabbing Iris's legs where they bent at the knees and pulling her up onto his lap. "I never even offered you a seat."
Iris just gasped again as Jack began to kiss along the exposed flesh left behind by the bodice of her dress. She brought her arms around his neck and pulled her self closer. Jack could detect the slight rock of Iris's hips on his lap and he found himself pushing up her skirt and running his fingers under the clasps of her garter belt. Iris's hands descended over his softly. "No Jack." She whispered into his ear. Jack obliged
Moving a hand around the small of her back and moving the other up trace the contours of her right breast. Iris looked down at him seriously and Jack looked up at her matching the solemnity of her features with his own.
"Rose called." Iris said watching his eyes keenly. "We're supposed to meet her in less than an hour."
Jack pulled at the collar of Iris's dress, bringing her face to his and kissed her with more force than he had before. Iris responded pushing her whole body into him and returning the kiss. She pulled away from him panting. Jack watched the rise and fall of her chest, trying not to think of the bite marks he knew to be on the other side of the thin fabric of Iris's dress.
Iris smiled down at him, and opened her mouth to say something, and then crashed into him again, kissing him clumsily, and running her hands down the front of his sweater. Jack grabbed one of her hands and pressed it into his lap. Iris dropped her head down to Jack's neck, kissing along his jugular as her hands unbuttoned his pants. Jack let out a sigh. Iris slid off of Jack's lap and onto her knees in front of him.
Jack stood in the doorway of the kitchen looking into the living room. Iris was sitting on the couch on the far side of the room in the light of the window holding a small mirror up to her face and putting on lipstick. The sight of Iris's mouth reminded him of where her mouth had just been and a second wave of arousal passed over him, he felt lightheaded.
"What Jack?" Iris said without looking away from the mirror.
"I'm just not used to having someone else in my house." Jack said, "I forgot about the little things you get when you share a room with someone."
"You really liked being married didn't you?" Iris said, putting her mirror down and turning in her chair to face Jack.
"Yeah, I did." Jack said walking over to her and taking as seat next to her on the couch. "You like the view?" Jack said pointing out the window which faced the wall of the neighboring building.
Iris laughed. "I don't know if I could get used to how close everything is here." She said looking out the window. "Everything seems stacked on top of itself here."
"That's because it is." Jack said. He moved closer to her as he took in the shape of her profile in the light. She licked her lips and swallowed. Jack stored away the image of Iris's throat in the sun light.
"You keep staring at me Jack." Iris said, still looking out the window.
"I can't help it." He said. "You have that lipstick on, and it keeps pulling my eyes there, and then I start thinking about other places your mouth has been."
Iris turned and smiled at him. "Is that how men really think all the time?"
"Yes." Jack said smiling and pulling her close to him. "Surely that fact hasn't escaped you." Jack held Iris in his arms and looked out the window at the blank wall and let his imagination paint images of domestic bliss with Iris there. Jack felt tired.
"What was your favorite part about being married?" Iris asked.
"I don't know. I've never really thought about it before." Jack said; stroking her arms and running through a list of memories of the life he had with Maddy. Jack rarely realized how far away from who he was now, that life with her had become. His stomach sank a little bit. Jack imagined for a moment Iris with her mystery lover, crying out in the dark of a bedroom; and his stomach sank further. Iris absently ran her hand across Jack's stomach just above his belt and tightened her grip around him, and Jack thought of Iris on her knees before him at the dining room table. Jack thought about Maddy, trying to recall the sound of her voice, but the only memory that came to him as he held Iris was a random night some random number of years into their relationship, when he'd woken up as Maddy had slipped into bed next to him.
"I think I used to like it when I went to bed before Maddy did, and Maddy would crawl into bed after I'd gone to sleep." Jack said. "It would always wake me a little bit, but it was a comforting feeling."
"It's funny the things that you remember about someone after they're gone." Iris said. "I only have one real memory of my mother. I'm a little girl and Justin is asleep next to me in bed, and my mother leans into the room and I can't really make out her face because the light from the room behind her is so bright. But I can still hear her voice telling me goodnight." Iris pulled away from Jack and turned to face him. She smiled as she looked him up and down. "I think that's the most beautiful sound I've heard in this world." Iris's eyes welled up and she brushed at the forming tears quickly with her thumbs. "It's funny, but my mother was a little over half my age when she died. It's seems strange to me that I'm older than my mother ever was, or thinking back on who I was a twenty-four, and trying to imagine having two children."
"That must have been very difficult." Jack said.
"You know." Iris said, relaxing her posture and looking up at him with an expression of wonder. "There's something about the mother. It's, well I lost my father too, but there's something about when the mother goes, that's very...I don't think I've ever gotten over it. It feels like there's always a little bit of melancholy inside of me, that I carry with me through the world."
"I feel the same way about Maddy." Jack said. "I've moved on with my life and all that, but I think there's some part of me that always remembers that loss. That knows that it can happen at any time. I think it's changed me."
"But you want to get married again?" Iris said looking away and fidgeting with the hem of her dress.
"I think it's cute the way you fidget like a little girl when you're uncomfortable." Jack said. Iris stilled her hands. Jack laughed. "Angel, I like it."
Iris looked up at him. "You know, you're the only person who's ever had a pet name for me."
"I imagine they think you would feel put off by it." Jack said.
"Why is that?"
"Iris, don't act as if you aren't aware of the kind of person you present yourself to be." Jack said, grabbing her hands in his and squeezing them. "It's much too clever and calculated."
"Well obviously not that clever Jack." Iris smiled, "You've got me figured out."
"I'm very good at what I do Iris." Jack said.
"That's what I worry about Jack." Iris said eying the clock over the fireplace.
"What do you mean?" Jack said, turning his attention to the clock.
"We should leave if we're going to meet Rose and Caleb in time." Iris said standing up. She looked down at Jack and lifted her eyebrows. Jack decided to let it slide.
"Yeah, sure." He said as he stood up.
Iris cuddled into her coat and wrapped her arm around Jack tighter as they walked to the diner. Leaves were beginning to flutter down from the trees and skate across the pavement in gusts. As they stood at a street corner waiting to cross Jack slide his hand down to hers and slid his fingers between hers slowly; letting his fingertips ease over the joints of her knuckles and the soft of their palms to press together lightly. Jack brought her hand up to his mouth and kissed it. As they crossed the street he brought his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into him, loosening his hold on her again as they reached the other side.
"That's where we're going, right there." Jack said, pointing to the diner at the end of the block on the corner.
Iris looked up at the sky. "The weather is so strange here." Iris said, "It's warm and beautiful and the next moment it's cold and windy and overcast."
"Wait until you see the fog." Jack said looking down at her.
"If I decide to stick around that long." Iris said.
Jack couldn't help the weight that dropped in his stomach.
"I'm just kidding Jack." Iris said quickly squeezing his arm.
"I know." Jack said, frowning.
"You looked like I'd just told you your dog died." Iris said smiling up at him. They stopped at another street corner, waiting for the traffic to slow. Iris thought she could make out Rose's distinct shape sitting at one of the booths, through the large plate glass windows of the diner. Iris looked up at Jack, who was watching the cars go by. She remembered the feel of him naked and pressing into her, and the way he looked at her, so full of desire, compared to the way he looked at everyone else, and it made her cheeks flush. "It doesn't feel like I thought it would." She said, looking toward the diner again.
"What?" Jack said, as he slid his hand into hers again. He lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed it again.
"Being in love." She said without shifting her focus.
Jack held her hand to his mouth a little longer and gave it another kiss.
The traffic came to a stop at the light and Jack wrapped his arm around her shoulder again as they stepped into the street. There was a strange feeling moving through him, and intense attraction and desire, and another hook of anger over her other lover, and weight of sadness left over from Maddy, and a tension of fear at what Bruce might find out about Iris. Jack decided she was right, this wasn't at all how he'd thought it would feel, but he knew he was in love none the less, he couldn't remember the last time he'd had that much of a feeling about anything.