Chapter 36: Stage Fright

Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy

RPOV

"You want me to move in here with you today?" I asked not quite believing what I was hearing.

He nodded. "Why not? We were together every night in Chicago and I hate being away from you. His eyes were brimming with hope.

My mind warred with my heart. My mind said that this was moving faster than I wanted and I could still end up hurt again, but my heart ached to be with him and was pleading with me to override the side that told me to be cautious.

He waited patiently for me to answer and in the end, I had always known that my heart would overrule my head.

"Okay," I agreed.

A huge grin broke out across this face as he dropped my bags to the floor sweeping me off my feet into his arms.

"Today just keeps getting better and better," he said peppering kisses all over my face.

We were getting a little carried away when his phone began to buzz.

"Belikov," he answered gruffly trying not to breathe heavily, which was hard to do as he'd been depriving us both of oxygen for the past few minutes.

"Good, we'll be there in a few," he said before hanging up.

"Who was that?" I asked straightening out my ponytail as I reached for a bag of my clothes.

"The wedding planner is here and she's rather impatient. She's insisting to see you right now."

"So make her wait!" I said. "What nerve she has coming here and demanding to see royalty. Who does she think she is?" I grumbled under my breath.

"You know you really have a just a little bit more royal breeding in you that you want to believe," he chuckled smirking at me.

"Shut up!" I said tossing a pillow at him as I continued to search for something to wear.

"Just let's get this over with," I said. I had barely had time to pull on my dress before he was practically dragging me out of the room.

We walked hand in hand out into the garden and I heard her before I saw her.

"Rose!" she cried and then she was a blur as she flew out of her seat throwing herself at me.

"I thought I'd never see you again!" She held me in a death grip and I couldn't believe she was really here.

"You're the wedding planner?" I asked after she'd let me go.

"Well duh, who else but your best friend could plan your wedding?" she said giggling.

"I can't believe you're here," I cried letting out a very Lissa like squeal.

"Dimitri extended the invitation and I couldn't pass up a chance to see a palace now could I?"

"No, you certainly couldn't," I laughed. She had always dreamed of meeting the Queen of England, but I guess she'd have to settle for the future Queen of Russia.

"Hey don't forget about me," Jill called out waving at me from behind Christian who was watching our reunion with a smirk on his face.

"Jill!" I cried rushing forward to hug her as well.

"You invited them all?" I asked looking at Dimitri who had moved to stand next to Christian.

"I did," he said looking elated that he'd finally proved to me that our marriage wouldn't be like the others.

"Where's Mia?" I asked looking around.

"She had summer classes. She'll be at the wedding though," Jill assured me.

I nodded. "I just can't believe you live in a palace!" Lissa exclaimed obviously not feeling the same sense of imprisonment I did here.

"Believe me it's not all its cracked up to be," I muttered as they continued to gush over the lavish adornments and opulent statues that lined the gardens. If they were that impressed by the outside, they were going to die when they saw the inside, I thought rolling my eyes at their naivety.

"So have you seen Mason?" I asked Jill. Dimitri and Christian had gone off to work on some royal business leaving us girls alone to catch up.

"Not yet, but I want to. Do you know where he is?"

"He's probably in the gym. He's been taking out his frustrations on the practice dummies," I said referring to the fact that he spent nearly all his time down there beating himself up over losing Jill.

We walked Jill to the gym where she indeed found Mason and then headed up towards my suite or I should say my old suite as my things were being moved as we spoke.

"Rose how are you holding up? You and Dimitri seem to be doing better. You were holding hands," she said broaching the subject timidly.

"Things have been better."

"So you're going to go through with the wedding?" she asked flopping down on my bed.

I nodded. "I want to marry him, but I don't want to be queen," I told her lying next to her.

"I know you feel trapped, but do you really think it will be that bad?" she asked.

I sighed. "I don't really know. My mother was never really involved in running the country. I think she just had to attend royal functions and make public appearances, but even so, it's a lot of pressure."

"Rose, you're going to be just fine. You're beautiful, intelligent and the best friend a girl could ask for. Everyone is going to love you."

"It's just that everyone is always up in your business when you are royal. Nothing is private, nothing is sacred. I won't have a moment's peace. People are going to scrutinize every decision I make down to the clothes I wear and the classes I take to the fact that I'm Turkish. I'm scared," I admitted.

"You know I never thought of it that way," she remarked. "I always just thought the job of the Queen was to wear fancy clothes, look pretty and wave. I didn't realize the pressures and lack of freedom that came with it. I'm sorry I've encouraged you to go along with all of this. If you don't want to then I will find a way to help you."

"My brother already had the perfect plan and I couldn't go through with it. As much as I've tried to deny it, my feelings for Dimitri are too strong. I love him so much. I can't leave him."

She smiled. "Isn't love grand?"

"I wouldn't say that. I think crazy is a more appropriate word."

"So let's talk weddings," she said opening her giant suitcase pulling out what had to be a thousand bridal magazines.

For the first time since arriving in Russia, I was actually excited about the wedding planning. I hadn't wanted to think about it before because I had wanted to have my friends around to help me and not some stuffy royal wedding planner and I was getting my wish. Dimitri had really come through for me and I was determined to make up for the past few weeks. I just needed to think of something nice I could do for him.

"So what about these for the centerpieces?" she asked showing me bouquets of red tea roses.

I shook my head. "I want to do red, but I don't want roses. It's too cliché."

"I was thinking maybe poppies or gerbera daisies for the centerpieces."

"What will you carry for a bouquet?"

"How about peonies? They're big and gorgeous. I could carry red ones and you could all carry white ones to offset the red in your dresses."

"Are you sure you want red?"

I nodded. "It's my favorite color and Dimitri said I could have whatever I wanted."

"Okay so that's settled. Who are the rest of the bridesmaids?"

"Well there's you of course as maid of honor and Jill and Mia as bridesmaids.

"So just the three of us?" she asked marking it down in a huge wedding binder she'd taken the liberty of creating.

"Oh wait, no I forgot. I promised Dimitri's sister Viktoria she could be a bridesmaid," I said remembering our conversation.

"Okay so that's four a nice even number."

"Who will Dimitri have as groomsman?"

"Well obviously Christian as his best man, but I don't know about the others. He has a friend I think his name is Ivan, but I haven't met him yet. So that makes two."

"Well it has to be even. He's going to have to ask two more people."

"I'll work on it," I said wondering who he would ask.

There was a timid knock on the door. "Who is it?" I called wondering why Dimitri would knock.

"It's Viktoria."

"Come on in," I told her.

"Dimka told me you were working on wedding stuff and I was wondering if you needed help." She was still standing by the door timidly.

"Of course, we could always use an extra brain to pick. There's so much to do and so little time. This is Lissa my best friend from Chicago," I said introducing the two.

"Ah, so this is the fourth bridesmaid," Lissa said looking her up and down.

"She's cute and will definitely look good in the dress I had in mind."

Viktoria's eyes lit up. "You mean it? I can be a bridesmaid?" she asked in awe.

"Of course. I told you that weeks ago silly. Did you think I would go back on my word?"

"Well no, but I thought maybe you just said okay to shut me up. That is what most people do."

"Well I'm not most people. You're my future sister in law and my friend. You're also Dimitri's favorite sister from what I gather. It wouldn't be right if you weren't in it."

"He said I'm his favorite?" she asked excitedly.

"Not in so many words, but I can tell," I said winking at her.

"So what do you think of red?" Lissa asked. Viktoria took a seat next to us amongst all of the things we had spread out on the floor.

DPOV

"Are you sure you want to leave those two alone to plan the wedding?" Christian asked as we sat down to go over some much needed revisions.

"I want Rose to have the normal life she wants and there are only so many things I can apply that to so why not start with the wedding?"

"You're really not going to invite the royals? You know that won't go over well."

"I value your concern and I see your point, but this is what she wants and I'm determined to give it to her."

"Even at the expense of pissing off half the kingdom?"

"She agreed to allow the press the photographs and a video of the ceremony. That should keep them at bay."

"I guess that's true."

"How are things with Lissa?"

"They've been a little better."

"She agreed to come here for the summer with you. That can't be all bad."

"I wish she came here just to be with me, but she mainly came here to see Rose. In fact, she probably came here more to see a royal palace and meet some royals than she did to be with me," he stated glumly.

"I'm sure that isn't true," I said.

"If Rose can get past what I did, then Lissa will come around. Just give her some time. Have you two reconnected physically?"

He winced. "No, she says she's not ready."

I grimaced a little at that feeling incredibly lucky that Rose and I were able to find each other again.

"Why don't you romance her? There are plenty of things around here I'm sure she'd love to see. She seems very eager to tour the palace and the grounds."

"That's true," he said perking up a bit.

"Hey where's Ivan? I haven't heard from him in a while. How's his mother?"

"She's actually doing better. He's been in Moscow taking care of her, but he should be back sometime this week." I was thrilled to introduce Rose to my other best friend. He and I had been keeping in touch by e-mail for the past eight months.

"I see, well maybe we could all go into town and have dinner one night," he suggested.

"That would be fine except Rose and I haven't yet made our first public appearance. After we do that, then we can go out and have dinner," I agreed.

"When are you planning to do that?"

"We're scheduled for a ribbon cutting at the new children's hospital tomorrow morning."

"How do you think she will handle it?"

"She's not used to the press and they're going to hound her, but she'll need to get used to it. She's strong and she knows how to handle herself." I was a little worried that she would be overwhelmed, but she handled my mother and Tasha with impeccable skill. She was going to be fine or so I hoped.

"Good luck man. I wouldn't want to be you tomorrow."

"Did you have a good day?" I asked Rose as we met up for a late dinner. Christian was trying to woo Lissa and had planned a candle light dinner in his suite which I'm sure she would love.

"I had a fabulous day," she said smiling leaning on me as we walked back to our suite.

"I see you found the mini-bar," I said noticing the alcohol on her breath as I kissed her.

"Mmm yes we did."

"Naughty Roza," I teased.

"I'm not drunk, just tipsy," she said giggling.

"I can see that." I led her over to the table pulling out her chair. Christian wasn't the only one who was trying to romance his woman this evening.

"Ooh champagne," she said reaching for her glass.

"I think that you should switch to water," I said replacing the glass in her hand with a bottle of water.

"You're no fun," she said giving me a very sultry pout.

"Oh, I'm plenty of fun and when you sober up a bit I will show you just how much," I said pulling the cover off her plate.

"Mmm where did you get this?" she asked digging in immediately.

"If I say China will you hold it against me?" I grinned sheepishly at her.

"You had this flown in from China?" she asked wide-eyed.

"Only the best for my future wife."

"Comrade did I ever tell you I love you?" she asked later as we lay next to each other watching an old John Wayne movie.

"Not so much recently, but I never tire of hearing it," I said pulling her closer kissing her forehead.

"Will you be gone a lot after you're king?" she asked yawning.

"Gone a lot?" I asked pretending I didn't know what she was referring to.

"Baba travels a lot. I remember him being gone a lot when I was growing up. That's why we had Alberta."

I didn't want to lie, but I knew telling the truth would upset her.

"I will be required to travel," I was trying to be vague hoping she would forget about it for now.

"You don't have to sugar coat it for me. You forget that I was raised in a palace," she said sitting up looking me in the eye.

"It will be difficult being away so much, but coming home to you will be the thing that keeps me going while I'm gone." I hoped she would understand that it was part of my job as king to create and maintain partnerships with other nations.

"What will I do when you are gone?" she asked looking down at the comforter picking at the lint.

"You will be busy with your own life Milaya. You will have school and you can use the gym. There will be events you will be expected to host and attend with my mother and sisters. Then when we are ready, you will take care of our children."

"That does seem like it will keep me busy," she said softly. I had expected her to have a stronger reaction. I was elated that she seemed to have accepted the fact that we would have to produce an heir. I wasn't planning to produce just one heir with her. I loved her and I wanted us to have many children, one of which would be the heir to the throne, but I didn't want to limit our love to just one child. I imagined at least three or four little ones that looked exactly like Roza running around our backyard. I went to bed thinking about our future children with a big goofy grin on my face.

RPOV

I had a really hard time sleeping tossing and turning because my mind was working overtime. I had known that he would be traveling a lot, but the reality of it hadn't quite sunk in until just now. I would have a lot of free time on my hands and it would be lonely in that house all by myself.

When I first thought of the house he was having built, I thought of us having dinner together, snuggling up by the fireplace watching movies and making love in the Jacuzzi. What I hadn't thought of was spending weeks on end alone, eating alone, sleeping alone, wandering around the house in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep alone and most importantly raising our children alone.

I know I told him I would never give him an heir, but that wasn't realistic. He was right and I would want a child with him one day. I guess that would keep me busy, but I saw how hard his sister worked to raise her children in the absence of her husband and I wasn't sure I could do it. I mean I could do it, but emotionally it would be a long lonely road for me. I watched my mother struggle to raise us alone and that is how Baba ended up hiring Alberta.

I eventually fell into a fitful sleep, but did not feel rested as Dimitri began shaking me awake.

"Why so early Comrade?" I groaned as he opened the curtains wide allowing the sunlight to filter in and boy was it bright.

"We have a big day today Roza. We are scheduled to cut a ribbon for the opening of the new children's hospital in a few hours," he said rubbing my shoulders.

"And it begins," I muttered as I stood in front of the mirror an hour later. I wasn't even going to try to fight it because I knew it was useless. So here I stood in a sensible high necked royal blue dress that fell just below my knees with my hair pulled back into a bun, not unlike I used to wear it to the diner. Small tasteful pearls hung from my lobes and a strand around my neck with a matching bracelet. I hadn't had to do a thing to ready myself as my entire outfit with hose and shoes had been hanging on the back of the wardrobe with matching jewelry pinned to the hanger in a small plastic bag.

I drew the line when a pushy woman had come to the door insisting on doing my hair and make-up.

"My mother isn't trying to be intrusive," Dimtri explained when I slammed the door in her face. "She just wanted to make your first day a little less stressful."

"Whatever," I mumbled not really caring what I looked like anyways.

"I'm fully capable of doing my own hair and make-up." I hadn't meant to sound snappy, but I was pissed. I couldn't believe his mother thought I couldn't dress myself.

"I know you are and you look beautiful you know," he said coming up behind me. He was wearing a very stuffy looking suit adorned with the Belikov coat of arms on the pocket.

"I thought I pitched all of those stuffy white shirts," I said noticing the one he was wearing was identical to the ones I'd thrown on the floor just the other day.

"You underestimate their power to regenerate themselves," he said with a smirk.

"It doesn't matter how many you throw out, more will appear in their place. I'm sorry. This is my usual required attire. I don't like it and it's quite uncomfortable, but that is just how it is."

"Are you ready?" he asked taking my hand as we exited the room.

"As ready as I'll ever be," I told him.

We met up with my mother and sisters in the hallway.

"Now don't you look lovely," my mother said greeting Rose with a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you," Rose responded stiffly, but in a polite tone.

Christian, Mason and Eddie were the last to join us.

"You two look like the Men in Black in those suits," I snorted.

"That is their required attire and a future queen does not address her bodyguards in public," Olena corrected me.

"Of course not," I muttered annoyed that I would have to ignore my friends just because they happened to work for us. I hated that sort of class ranking system. It was hardly appropriate.

"Am I permitted to speak with Christian or is he one of the peasants as well?" I asked Dimitri purposefully loud enough for his mother to hear.

"Roza," he chastised squeezing my hand as he gave me a displeased look.

"He is the royal advisor and yes you may speak to him directly in public."

"Where are Lissa and Jill?" I asked as we climbed into the limousine that would take us to the ribbon cutting.

"They're in my suite having breakfast. They're well looked after," Christian explained.

"I wish that's where I was," I grumbled under my breath in Turkish.

"Roza, you must remember you are only to speak Russian when you are in public. You are fluent aren't you?" Olena asked suddenly nervous.

I was about to put her in her place and tell her that I would speak whatever the hell language I wanted when Dimitri interjected knowing my temper.

"Roza speaks beautiful Russian. She will have no trouble at all Mama," he reassured her. I loved how confident he was having never heard me speak more than a few words in Russian.

"Calm down my love. You are making this harder than it has to be," he whispered.

Christian explained what would happen once we reached our destination. Olena would exit the car first followed by Karo and Viktoria and then Dimitri and I would make our presence known. Christian, Mason and Eddie would follow. The rest of the security detail was already in place.

I gulped nervously as we stopped in front of the hospital. There we thousands of people who had turned out to no doubt ogle the newest engaged couple. I took a deep breath willing myself to be calm.

"You're going to do just fine Milaya," Dimitri said kissing my hand. His mother and sisters were out of the car and I heard them announce our names.

"And now for the Crown Prince Dimitri Alexandr Belikov and his fiancee Princess Rosemarie Mazur of Turkey," a voice crooned over the loud speaker. Dimitri exited first extending his hand for me. The moment I stepped outside the vehicle it was mass confusion. Flashbulbs went off from all directions blinding me to my surroundings. People shouted at me in many languages asking me all kinds of questions.

"Just smile and wave," Dimitri instructed putting his arm around my waist guiding me as he steered me up the walk. My heart was in my throat and I could feel the blood pounding in my ears as I forced my legs to move forward.

"Who designed your dress?"

"Princess why have you been in seclusion? What's with all the secrets?"

"Is it true that your brother, the crown prince was here?"

"Who is designing your wedding gown?"

I couldn't pick one voice out of the crowd and my stomach began to gurgle as my nerves continued to sit on edge. All I could pray was that I didn't lose my breakfast in front of all of these people.

"What's wrong with the princess? She looks ill." People were whispering about me and I tried my best to focus on the sea of people lining the streets, but I was dizzy and everything was a blur.

"Roza? Are you okay?" Dimitri whispered. I could hardly hear him over the roar of the crowd.

"No," I cried in a panic. "Too many people. Can't breathe." I clutched my throat willing myself to calm down.

"We need to get her some water and a place to sit down," Dimitri said holding me upright. The world was swirling around me and I could feel the panic rising in my throat. I was not cut out for this. I couldn't handle it. I was having a panic attack in front of thousands of people. That was my last thought before I blacked out.

Oh no! More problems for the happy couple=( Poor Rose, she just can't win. She's going to be lonely and the press is making her nervous. What ever will she do? Review if you want to meet another hunky Russian in the next chapter=)