Pairing: Eren/Mikasa

Setting: Both in Canon and in AU, Reincarnation

Rating:K+

Words: 3464

Notes: A request from an anon for death in the canon setting and then Eren and Mikasa finding each other again in a modern day gym. I wrote this all at work one day because I had a lot of feelings. I love Reincarnation fics for Shingeki so this made me so happy, even though it made me so sad to write that first part ;-; I've never killed a character before, especially one I love so much. Its different from the first time I wrote a Reincarnation fic so I hope you enjoy this one and thank you, anon, for the wonderful request! Ps warning for major character death in the beginning and fluffy fluff in the second part lol

Also the title is of course from "Time After Time" by Cyndi Lauper :3

You Can Look and You Will Find Me

Mikasa wasn't sure how long she had been out but the gentle rocking of her body slowly lulled her awake. A part of her was so soothed by the soft rocking that she wanted to just go back to sleep but a small sob from nearby kept her awake. Her eyes fluttered open to see where she was but all she saw was the brown jacket of a uniform. Arms were wrapped around her upper body, rocking her back and forth slowly as choked cries fell from his mouth; she knew who it was, she knew that cry.

"Eren?" She was surprised at how hoarse her voice sounded, how much it hurt her throat.

His head shot up as one of his hands reached down for her face but Mikasa didn't have time to even realize what was going on. All she could see was his red swollen eyes, tears still on his cheeks, and blood all over his body. Panic rose up in her chest.

"Eren, what happened?" She reached for him but stopped short when a sharp pain shot through her body.

"Mikasa." His voice was low and full of an emotion that made her heart ache. "It's not my blood."

She almost didn't want to look but her eyes were already glancing down at her body, seeing the blood covering her clothing, the ground around her, Eren's body . There was so much that she knew, she knew this was it. Mikasa didn't even look to see where the wound was, it didn't matter; she just looked back up at Eren, his arms still tight around her.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he was saying, fresh tears in his eyes. Mikasa couldn't remember a time he looked so sad, so broken. "All those years of you saving me and I couldn't help you, I couldn't save you." He laughed but it was deep and full of self-loathing; it made Mikasa hurt more than any of the wounds on her body could cause.

"Eren," her voice was soft, soothing. She didn't want him to hate himself, not now not ever. "It's not your fault."

He scoffed bitterly. "Please, when hasn't it been my fault?" His eyes softened when he looked back down at her. "I've treated you so shitty. You never deserved that."

Mikasa shook her head but cringed as hot pain stung her spine. "That's not true." She tried to bite back a cry. "You gave me life, Eren. Something to live for." She carefully reached up to brush her hand against his cheek; she was going to miss that face, those eyes, that smile. "Someone to love."

Eren bit his lip trying to hold back his tears but it didn't work; she felt them falling down onto her hand. "I love you," he choked. "I always have. Mikasa, I-"

"I know, it's okay. I know." She felt her own tears pricking at her eyes but she just smiled at him. A hard cough racked her body; it felt like it was tearing up her throat. She reached her hand over her mouth but when she pulled it away all she saw was the blood coating her hand.

Eren leaned forward, pressing his forehead against hers, his tears falling onto her face. "What am I gonna do without you? How could I possibly-"

Mikasa pressed her hand to his face again, pulling him away just enough to look him in the eyes; those intense eyes she knew so well. "You fight. You always fight."

He closed his eyes and nodded, his head and shoulders sinking. Mikasa felt someone kneel down beside her, hands grabbing onto one of hers. She looked over from Eren; her vision blurry, it was getting spotty but she knew that blond hair. "Hey, Armin."

"Hey," he said trying to smile, but his blue eyes were filled with his own tears.

"You're gonna take care of him right?" It was getting harder to talk, each breath felt like razors. She heard Eren trying to choke back a sob but Armin merely nodded.

"Someone has to." His hand gripped onto hers like he didn't want to let go but all she needed was a look from him. Mikasa always knew Armin cared for her, like she cared for him; she never had to question it.

But Eren was different.

He was pulling her close again, his head near hers. "Don't leave me, please," he whispered. "Please, Mikasa."

She reached down to pull at her scarf though the effort nearly made her pass out. She placed some of the well-loved material over Eren's hand. "I never will."

Mikasa felt Eren grab onto it, Armin still holding her hand nearby. She heard Eren repeating her name over and over again but she couldn't see them anymore. She was still happy though. At the end of it were her and Eren. Her, Eren, and Armin, just like it always had been. Soon she couldn't hear Eren's voice anymore.

The gym was always filled with the same kind of noises: pop music over the speakers, the clanging of some assholes dropping their weights too hard, treadmills running, people talking, instructors dictating what exercise was next. Mikasa never paid much attention to it though, at least she tried not to; she came to work out and get her own training done.

Mikasa looked up from the hand weights she placed on the ground to see her reflection in the large mirror against the weight room wall. She looked the same as she always did; sports top, gym shorts, pale skin, dark hair but that's not what she cared about really. From her spot in front of the mirror she could see towards the back of the room, on the leg press was that mop of brown hair she got so used to seeing, those stunning blue eyes that she refused to admit she caught herself staring at. He was a new member to the gym, at least Mikasa didn't remember seeing before about a month ago but since then, she couldn't stop seeing him.

She turned around pretending she was just looking around the gym but at this point she knew better. Every time he walked into that gym Mikasa couldn't keep her eyes off of him; it was horribly embarrassing.

He moved to another machine nearby where his back was to her as opposed to his face. He always looked so intense and focused but he'd smile every now and then; he had a big toothy smile that made her heart race.

"Just go talk to him instead of staring like a freak." Annie's voice nearly made Mikasa jump out of her skin. The blonde girl was sitting nearby, curling a weight on the bench.

Mikasa resisted the strong urge to roll her eyes. "Okay, let me just go and say, 'Hi, I'm Mikasa. I'm the one who stares at you all the time.' I'm sure that will go over well."

"It's better than actually staring at him all the time."

Mikasa did roll her eyes this time. "Says you." She leaned down to pick up her weights again, trying hard to ignore the boy in the mirror.

She really had no idea what came over her this past month. She never even had much interest in the guys who actually perused her let alone the stranger who never looked her way. Still Mikasa couldn't get him out of her mind no matter how much she tried. She felt like a little girl with a crush on the popular boy in school; every time he drifted into her mind her heart raced, a smile pulled at her lips, she felt flushed, and she didn't even know his name.

"This is dumb," she muttered as she started reps again with her weights.

"You don't have to tell me. Grow some balls and go talk to him."

Mikasa shot Annie a glare but the blonde just watched her. Yeah, okay, like talking to him wasn't gonna be the most awkward thing, especially if he ever caught her looking at him. The thought alone made her face heat up and her stomach drop.

Okay, this was really dumb. She looked down at her arms, moving in rhythm to make her reps; she needed to stay focused on her work out, just like she did every day before that boy ever started coming to the gym. He was just a boy after all, they came and went all the time from here. Maybe he would wash out and she could forget about him, never have to see him again but the thought made her stomach clench. She really didn't want that, and she didn't even know why. Yeah, he was cute but she didn't need to be so damn attached to a stranger.

"Excuse me?"

The voice was so close that Mikasa looked up though she assumed no one was talking to her. For the second time that day she nearly jumped through the ceiling when she saw that boy, the one she was trying to get out of her mind, standing next to her and his gorgeous eyes on her, clearly waiting for an answer.

She reminded herself how to speak. "Oh! Ah, yes?" Which wasn't much better a response than just staring at him dumbly.

"Sorry to bother you," he said with a small smile. "But I don't really know anyone and I was wondering if you'd spot me when you had a moment?" He reached a hand up and scratched behind his head as he gave her a hopeful smile.

Like she could have said no even if she wanted to. "Ah, yeah. I mean, I'd be happy to. I really wasn't doing anything." Mikasa went to place her weights back when she heard a snort of laughter coming from Annie. Mikasa just ignored her; Mikasa was too busy hearing her heart pounding in her ears.

"Thanks, I really appreciate it," he said as he led her over to one of the larger dumbbells placed over a bench. "I always want to work with the larger weights but none of my friends wanna come here with me." He shrugged as he sat down on the bench. "I always see you here and you look like you know what you're doing." His smile nearly made Mikasa's heart stop. "I'm Eren, by the way." He reached his hand out to her.

"Mikasa." His hand was soft but she could feel the calluses she knew well from working out at the gym. He apparently did notice her just hopefully not her shameless looks at him.

"Are these weights okay?" she asked, trying to change the subject and distract herself from her embarrassment.

Eren glanced over at them before laying down on the bench. "Yeah, those are fine thanks."

Mikasa stepped behind the dumbbell, something she was used to doing with Annie, though she didn't look quite as good as Eren did in his tank top, his tanned skin standing out against his dark clothes. Mikasa had to stop her train of thought before she looked too much at his arms and shoulders.

He reached his hands up to the metal bar the same time Mikasa reached down to hold onto it for him. Her fingers brushed into his causing Mikasa to resist jumping away at the sudden touch but she placed her hands back down a little farther away from his this time.

"Ready?" she asked, hoping he wouldn't hear the slight shake in her voice.

"Ready."

Mikasa held on as Eren lifted the weight off its stand before she let go but still stood ready to grab it off him if needed. Though, judging by how easily he seemed to be handling it, she didn't think he even needed her help. Regardless, she still watched him closely which she had to remind herself was just to help him; it didn't work very well. She was twenty years old and she never felt like this towards someone before, but this boy, Eren, it was like no matter how hard she tried this past month she couldn't ignore him like she wanted to.

Eren placed the weight back on the stands with Mikasa reaching forward to help guide him. "Thanks," he said with a smile as he sat back up.

"I don't know what you're thanking me for. You seemed to handle it just fine." She felt a smile pulling at her lips as she looked over at him.

He didn't seem very surprised but there was a red tint on his cheeks. He laughed lightly, his hands falling in his lap. "I'm not very slick, I guess." Eren reached a hand behind his neck to scratch as he carefully met her eyes. "I just wasn't sure how else to start a conversation with you aside from, 'Hi, I'm Eren, and I come to this gym at the same time every day because it's when you're here.' In hindsight that was incredibly creepy so please disregard whatever I have to say."

Mikasa had to clasp her hand over her mouth to hide her laughter; she understood more than she was willing to tell him at the moment. In fact, she almost heard Annie in her head telling Mikasa she better make a move so Annie didn't have to listen to her whine anymore.

"There's a coffee shop down the road," Mikasa said, her hands slightly fidgeting with each other. "Would you like to go? Well, I mean, if you're done of course."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm done. I'll just…" he stood up quickly. "Meet you at the front of the gym, okay?"

"Yeah, okay," Mikasa nodded, biting her lip to attempt to hide her smile.

"Okay, cool." Eren started to walk away, still facing her and still smiling. "See you then." He backed into one of the weight machines causing some of the weights to clang.

Mikasa tried not to laugh but it was hard not at the sheepish look and small wave he gave her before turning to go to the locker room.

"Jesus, it's about time."

Once again, Annie made Mikasa jump out of her trance. She turned her head to tell Annie to stop doing that but she was already holding Mikasa's back and jacket.

"Here take your things and get out of here."

"Thanks," Mikasa said, trying hard not to smile as she shrugged on her jacket before taking her gym bag.

Annie turned around back towards her seat. "Just please for the love of God don't come home tonight."

"Annie." Mikasa tried to glare at her, but her face was so hot at her roommate's implications that she knew it didn't work. She headed to the front door trying to get rid of the flush that took over her body.

She saw Eren heading over as well, his jacket in and bag over his shoulder. Mikasa held the door open for him as a gust of cold wind hit them.

"Bitter out today," Eren said, looking over the snow covered street as the door to the gym closed behind them. "Good think I never leave the house without it." He held up something red in his hands. A scarf Mikasa noted as he carefully sloppily it around his neck. A scarf.

The sun had already gone down but under the street light she could see it clearly; the dark red color falling against Eren's light brown jacket. Warmth started to fill her body, a sense of familiarity, a sense of something she should remember but…something was wrong…something was off.

Mikasa reached out towards him; she was aware of Eren's eyes on her but it didn't matter, her hand didn't stop until she felt the soft but worn material under her fingers. The moment she did, her head started to spin as images filled her mind; ones she never knew, a life she didn't know. She felt like she was gonna pass out, just two strong hands holding her up.

There was a small girl with a knife charging at someone, a boy with a scarf passing it to the girl, a warm cabin, a woman with dark hair smiling, a man with glasses, death so much death, so much grief, so much hatred, brown uniforms, training, fighting in the sky with monsters, fighting with that boy, she loved him, he was always running one step ahead, fear, strength, friends fighting together, friends lost, betrayal, that boy grew up, that girl with the scarf, he promised they'd always be together, but there was so much blood, no one could stop it, not Armin, not Eren…Eren.

"Eren," Mikasa gasped, her eyes focusing in on the snowy sidewalk again, on the blue eyed boy holding her up. He was blurry and it took her a moment to realize it was the tears in her eyes, on her cheeks. "Eren?" She felt like someone had punched her in the stomach; her heart was aching with so much sorrow, so much longing. She tried to blink away the tears, only to see his eyes were swimming with his own tears, his hands tight on her arms. She finally saw him, but this time it wasn't Eren that cute boy from the gym, it was Eren Jaeger. Eren the one she knew since they were kids, the one who saved her life, the one whose side she was always beside, the one she loved the most in any world, the one she lost so long ago.

"Mikasa," his voice was breaking but soft and full of compassion. His hands reached up to hold her face with a tenderness that made her heartache. "You died, in my arms. I watched it and I couldn't do a damn thing. I never thought I would see you again. I thought I lost you forever."

She didn't even have a moment to respond before Eren pulled her into him, her hands pressed against his chest as his wrapped around her. She felt his warm tears on her neck, her hands reaching up around his neck to pull herself closer to him. She closed her eyes as tears ran down her cheek. All her life, something was missing something so achingly painful that it made her cry for seemingly no reason. This was why and she knew it now without a doubt. She was missing Eren, her Eren. No life was complete without him, no life ever would be.

"I remember," he said, lifting his head up but still holding Mikasa close. "I remember the one thing I regretted most after…after…"

"What was that?" her voice was hoarse from her tears but her body was warm, she felt a sense of safety that she hadn't known in this life just standing in the winter cold.

Eren reached a hand up to her cheek before leaning in to press his lips against hers.

Mikasa gasped against him as she tightened her grip around his neck, moving her mouth with his. It was like breathing in fresh air; even though she wasn't sure what she was feeling, what her life even was anymore, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was the way his hands held onto her like he was never gonna let her go, the way his lips felt on hers, and the way she finally felt whole again.

He broke their kiss just enough so he could press his forehead to hers, his breath panting over her skin. His lips curled up in a smile. "So what're you doing tonight?"

Mikasa couldn't hold in her slightly choked laugh. "Well, my roommate did forbid me from coming home tonight." The thought only made her want to laugh again; of all people, Annie.

Eren reached up to his neck and carefully pulled the scarf off and with a smile Mikasa hadn't seen in a very long time, he draped the scarf back around her neck. "Good."

It smelt like a distant time, a place long ago as he wrapped it around her, but it also just smelt like Eren. She sighed as she reached up to hold the edges in her hands. "Home," she said, reached up to brush away some of the bangs out of Eren's face. "It feels like home."

"Good," Eren said again. He held his hand out to her which Mikasa took, interlacing her fingers with his. "You were always my home."

Mikasa tilted her face up without a second thought to press her lips to his once more; she'd never tire of being able to do that. She felt his hand on her cheek before she broke away as Eren started to lead her down the sidewalk.

It really didn't matter where they were going or where they would end up.