' That could've been anything, right? I mean-then what the fuck could it have been' her thoughts going around in circles, trying to deny what she heard and come up with excuses for Gaara.
"Good morning" she feels Gaaras breathing against her neck, she sinks away from his touch, as he tries to caress her side, she sits up.
"Morning… I promised to meet Neji early today" she says immediately standing up from the bed when she feels him trying to move towards her, quickly walking to the bathroom, washing her face, then brushing her teeth. Pulling her hair up into a pony tail opening the door where Gaara was waiting for her.
"Is something bothering you?" he asks watching her actions closely
"I just have a headache from last night and I need to eat before I leave that's all" she says as he brings his hand to her forehead, fighting the urge to avoid his touch, he then slides his hand down to her cheek stepping closer, placing a soft kiss on her lips. Her stomach twisting in knots, she kisses him back then walks passed him towards the kitchen. He stands starring at the spot she was just in, then walks in thinking of her packed bag and cold affection he received unwilling to keep things the way they were until he returns home, he walks out of the bathroom into the kitchen, not seeing her there, he checks the bedroom, her training gear gone but her travel bag still in the closet.
Glancing at the time he sighs, becoming frustrated as to why she was acting this way.
…
"We should take a break" Neji says dodging her attacks
"Are you tired?" she mutters
"No, but you are, your hits are becoming slower" Neji says grabbing onto her wrist, turning her back towards him holding her close
"We'll continue after a short rest, you're going to hurt yourself" he whispers in her ear before letting her go, she stands panting wiping her brow before walking to the wall, leaning against it as she sinks to the ground. Neji walking over carrying their water, sitting in front of her handing hers over, she takes it, placing it next to her.
"Taking a break already?" she looks over at Kankuro walking towards them
"We've been here since 7, so fuck you" she says smiling, taking a big gulp of her water
"Heh, The Kazekage wants to see you" he says to Shae
"We're almost done" taking another sip of water, her smile fading
"The Kazekage's very busy today and he needs to speak with you now" Kankuro says waiting for her to stand up, slightly surprised she wasn't already trying to hurry to his office.
"Well if he's so busy, maybe he shouldn't have asked to see me when he knew I would be here all day and it takes 10 minutes to get there" she says still sitting on the ground not bothering to look at Kankuro
"Shae, he needs to talk to you, let's go" Kankuro beginning to feel annoyed with her, then glances over at Neji.
"You too" he adds, Neji looks from her to Kankuro, he holds out his hand to Shae as he stands up, she looks at it for a few seconds sighing then holding onto it, helping her stand up while Kankuro keeps a close eye on Neji as they silently walk to Gaara's office.
Kankuro opens the door letting Shae in, then closing it, standing in front of the door. Neji leaning against the wall, knowing what he was going to do when she made a second excuse not to see Gaara.
Shae keeps her eyes on his desk stopping just before it.
"How is your training?" Gaara asks staying behind his desk
"Good" she responds still not looking at him
"Is there something you want to tell me?" he asks slowly approaching her, she stiffen the slightest bit as he comes closer
"Is there something you want to tell me?" she says in a flat tone, starring to the right at his feet.
"I don't-" there's a knock on the door
"Lord Kazekage, your appointment for 1 o'clock" they hear Baki behind the door
"Yes, thank you" he responds stepping closer to her, keeping two feet between them
"I want to discuss this issue with you tonight, please wait for me to return" Gaara says softly, feeling his eyes burning into her, all she does is nod, afraid if she looked up at him she would burst into tears, scream at him or both. He leaves her in his office; she covers her mouth trying not to make a sound, tears wanting to fall.
"The hospital wanted to know if you can take a shift in a few hours" Kankuro says leaning against the door frame, she nods, breathing in deep to calm herself.
"Yeah, I'll take it" she says wiping under her eyes before turning to them, walking into the hallway
…
"Thanks for the help, but you really didn't need to be here for this long" the head surgeon says to her as they both take off their gloves and gowns.
"It's not a problem, really. I missed being here and helping people" she smiles as she washes her hands
"I know I have to ask the Kazekage first but would you be able to help with the next few surgeries, it's a new procedure. I think everyone feels more relaxed when you're around" the surgeon says, untying her hair.
"Sure" she smiles and waves heading for the change rooms.
She changes into her street clothes, keeping the same located locker. then using the bathroom around the corner.
"I think the Kazekage's single now" whispers a women
"What?" another one says surprised
"Mhm, A guest seen a woman from the tea house leave his office, she had black hair and blue eyes, and looked dishevelled" the first woman says
"You shouldn't spread such things" the second one says
"She works here, she was just helping in surgery, be quiet" the second one says, hearing footsteps close to her locker, she lifts up her feet in her stall, the footsteps wander away
"Maybe, he's just not happy, you don't know.." the second one says
"Or he got bored… " the first gasps "Maybe he's jealous of that man from the leaf village, have you seen him?" she says with a small moan
"mm ha we should go to the leaf village, haven't been having much luck here, and if the men look like him.." The first one says.
Shae sits in the stall until they leave, walking out, washing her hands, remembering the woman Shota had pointed out, how she had a cat like smile when looking at Gaara, while he had a look of general disinterest, but knowing he had a hard time really showing his emotions,
Neji waits for her outside the hospital entrance. He follows her as she says a soft 'hey' walking back to her room.
Opening the door, motioning for Neji to follow her, he enters without hesitation, closing and locking the door behind him.
She kicks off her shoes walking to the bedroom, Neji sighs following suit, she crawls into bed lying underneath the covers, he joins her, holding her close.
"I had two surgeries today, they asked me to attend a few more the next few days, so our training will be short" she says softly resting her head on top of his chest
"Morning or day surgeries?" Neji asks rubbing her back feeling how tense she was
"I don't know yet" she looks up at him
"Are you going to ask why I'm not down the hall?" she asks after a minute, he shakes his head, trying to enjoy being with her wrapped in each other's arms. She looks into his eyes for a few more seconds, brushing off the urge to keep asking why this doesn't bother him, resting her head on top of his chest again.
"We will need to return to the leaf in a few weeks, it won't interfere with the hospital, will it?" he asks still rubbing her back, feeling her breathing becoming slow and steady, the warmth and comfort of having him so close lulling her to sleep.
"No.." she mutters, holding tighter onto him, her eyes becoming heavy.
Neji stays awake, hoping whatever had put her at a distance from Gaara keeps on, then thinking of the affects it may have on the leaf should Shae and Gaara make it public that they're no longer together. A light knock on her door almost wakes her, as Shae turns over; Neji carefully climbs out of bed to answer the door.
"She's sleeping' Neji says holding the door with one hand, making it clear he wasn't invited into her room.
Gaara narrowing his eyes at him, before someone down the hall catches his attention. He nods, then leaves down the hall.
Uaing his byakugan he sees it was only Kankuro, Neji closes the door heading back to the room.
"Was that Gaara?" she asks, as Neji pulls her towards him,
"Mhm" he says burying his face at the nape of her neck, she stares at the wall until she falls back to sleep.
….
A few days pass, as she constantly avoids Gaara, and staying in her room, forgetting a few personal items in Gaara's room she walks down the hall to his.
'He should still be out..' she hopes as she uses the key she still had, walking inside she heads to the bedroom, taking a small cosmetics bag from her drawer she places the rest of her make-up and lotions, walking out of the bedroom, she hears the door open, Gaara closes the door slowly approaching her.
"I forgot a few things.." Shae mutters trying to walk passed him, Gaara holds out his arm, stopping her path but careful not to set off the anger he felt from her.
"Why are you leaving? That's all I want to know" he says softly, keeping his eyes downcast to the floor
"How could you ask me that?.." she scoffs "I know I don't have a right to be so angry after what you did but-No I don't have to explain anything" her voice rising
"After what I did?" his eyes snapping up at her, their eyes locking
"Yes Gaara, god, why are you looking at me like you have no idea?" her voice becoming frustrated
"Fucking that woman in your office, Gaara! As if I wouldn't find out about it, and I know I have no right to be so fucking angry at you especially after Neji, I just never thought that you would!" Tears beginning to come to the surface as her voice wavers "Who was it?!... Fuck" she covers her face with her free hand crying
"I haven't been with anyone else but you" his voice calm, his eyes on the ground a slight blush to his face
"You're going to lie to me now? I fucking heard you with her!" now yelling at him
"That's not what you heard" he says looking up at her the blush still remaining
"Ah! Oh Lord Kazekage!" she pretends to moan "What's not what I fucking heard?" she tries walking passed him only to have Gaara barricade the door with his sand, she turns to scream at him some more. Gaata stands still an inch from her forcing himself to look her in the eye, uncertain how she'd react to him hurting someone defenceless
"It is what you heard but it's the wrong context" catching her swinging hand to slap him, gently holding onto her wrist
"Then why are you blushing? cause you got caught? not as sneaky as you think you are" she rips her hand from him stepping away
"I hoped I wouldn't have to explain what had happened that night" keeping his voice calm
"Tsk, don't bother" she growls
"What you heard was not a moan of pleasure but of pain. I hurt that woman to make a point she didn't seem to understand the first time" he says watching her expression become confused.
"What… What did she do?.." Shae asks still trying to control her tears
"She had brought me an invoice for the duration of our guests stay, she had propositioned herself to me after-"
"How, in what way" she asks beginning to feel angry all over again, only this time it wasn't directed at Gaara
"She had walked behind my desk to me, taking off her dress and knelt on her knees in front of me. I had told her 'I don't require her services', she continued, reaching for my pants buckle, and I stopped her by holding onto her hand and wrist… I had thought about whether I should sprain or break her wrist as a clear warning too others who may be bold enough to try" he sees her expression become relaxed, her bangs hiding her eyes
"Shae I wouldn't hurt you-" his words being cut off by her lips, she drops the small bag. her hands in his hair pulling him into a deep kiss, pushing him towards the couch
"Do you…. are you not upset uh" he says trying to finish their conversation as she gently bite his neck. her hands feverishly pulling off his robes and shirt
"No, I'm not, Gaara I'm so sorry, do you forgive me?" she stops holding her hands in his thick crimson hair looking into his eyes, he nods, holding her around her waist
"I understand how it seemed I was unfaithful to you… You're not upset I hurt that woman?" carefully watching her reaction, she shakes her head
"Is it wrong I felt.. kind of happy you did?... it's sick isn't it" she says softly, avoiding his eyes now, he lifts her face to him
"I understand.." he says softly, stroking her cheek with his thumb
"Does it bother you that he's here?" she asks holding his hand against her cheek, he doesn't answer only continues stroking her cheek then leans in and kisses her, she follows his movements leaning into his ear
"If it bothers you… I can always ask him to return to the leaf and have someone from the sand continue to teach me…" she pauses waiting for his response, only feeling him placing soft kisses on her shoulder, feeling along her back "Gaara, I want…. I want to be good to you cause you've been so good to me."
"If this is one way I can be… I will" she leans back watching him, his eyes pausing on her sand filled necklace, then back up at her, giving the slightest nod then kisses her, she nods her head kissing him back.
His hand sliding underneath her top, cupping her breasts
"Wait… in our room" she breaths almost too aroused to think straight
"Hm?" the rasp in his voice having a growl to it
"Our room" she breaths, he picks her up, quickly walking to the bedroom,
She takes off her clothes throwing them to the side, sitting in the middle of the bed as Gaara takes off his last piece of clothing. Getting on all fours she crawls towards him, kneeling up at the foot of the bed.
He watches her kneeling in front of him, his eyes focused on her eyes to her lips, neck, down her body, reaching up gently cupping her left breast feeling her nipple under his thumb, down her stomach, the curves of her hips and thighs, taking in the caramel color of her skin his fingertips gently caressing her delicate skin causing her to shiver under his touch, he looks up at her, she bites her lip, a deep blush on her cheeks, feeling more exposed than every other time they've been intimate.
"Is something wrong?" she asks, keeping her voice soft trying to hide how nervous he was making her feel at his actions
"No.." he leans in kissing her softly, his index and thumb holding her chin, the other feeling along her back up into her hair.
"Gaara.." she breathes, a flicker of warmth in the pit of her stomach, followed by an electric wave throughout her body as he gently places his lips on her neck.
Her hands holding onto his waist, as he gently pushes her backward onto the bed, kneeling over her, continuing his soft kisses down her body, coming up to her lips, back into a deep kiss. He pushes his tip into her, his thrusts slow and gentle, the warmth in the pit of her stomach building as his thrusts become deeper and faster pace, lifting her hips with one of his arms to hit her sweet spot, causing her to moan into the kiss. Her hands on his back pulling him closer than he already was, her breathing now shallow and quick as is his, he lets out a soft moan of her name as she tightens around him climaxing, following a few seconds after.
He sighs feeling satisfied to finally have had the chance to make love to her instead of their usual way of being intimate, which she always insisted.
She rests in his arms, thinking of how screwed up everything was and is.
"Gaara, can I ask you something?" she says softly
"hm?"
"Neji told me he had written my several letters but I didn't get any, do you know why?" she looks up at him from his chest
"No, I'll find out if it's what you want" he says holding her tighter
"mhm, I only want to know what happened to them" she bites her lip still looking into his eyes
"Yes?" he prompts her
"I'm sorry it's taken so long to let you.. love me.." she pauses, then rests her head against his chest "I don't know why it terrifies me" she whispers
"It's the act in its self you're afraid of…" he says mostly to himself
"mhm… I… being naked is one thing but… that's incredibly personal, it feels like I'm giving you a part of me I will never be able to get back" her voice trailing off
"I understand" He says softly, unknown to her, letting her stay and share his personal space and memories was in it's terrifying.
….
"I see, she moved back into your room" Kankuro says after having escort her back from her training with Neji
"Hm, it was a misunderstanding on something she had heard" Gaara says from his chair
"That Mei thing?" Kankuro asks
"Hm… who else knows" he asks
"There's some rumor's going around from you secluded her to she came onto you. I looked into it I thought it may have been a guard on at that time but no one was around it seems. She's spreading the rumor herself, want me to take care of it?" Kankuro says slightly turned towards the door
"I've given them fair warning" he nods
"Heh, sure thing" he turns to leave
"Kankuro… Have you been keeping Neji Hyuga's letters from Shae?" he asks, his brother giving a slight hesitation
"I did… and you two are happy now, well asides from this problem I have to deal with. I won't apologize for making sure my brother is happy…. You deserve that." He looks over his shoulder at Gaara
"What have you done with them?" he asks
"Burned them with old and outdated mail" he answers truthfully
"I see" Gaara nods, Kankuro walks to the door opening it
"Kankuro…. Thank you" he says in a low voice focused on the work in front of him.
"Hm" kankuro nods closing the door behind him