Thank you to everyone who reads this, who sends me their thoughts and questions. Thank you to those who keep me on the straight and narrow when it comes to doing right by Helena and Myka.
12 Angry Men and Women
Pete watched in the rear view mirror as the expression on Helena's face changed to something he didn't see very often – concern. When he stopped at the red lights, he could hear the scratching of Myka's Mont Blanc pen on the paper in her portfolio. He knew she only used pen and paper when she was working on something very challenging and needed to think it through. Giselle had presented herself as a friend of Helena's to the security outside the townhouse. She even told them her name was on 'the list' and when they checked with Leena, it was confirmed that she was. Pete could see that protocol was going to need a little tweaking. And fast.
Myka and Helena waved to the crowd outside of Wells Corp who gathered to wish them well. Unlike the press, these were fellow New Yorkers and tourists who just wanted a glimpse of the celebrity couple. "Congratulations," many of them shouted.
In the elevator on the way up to their offices, Myka was silent, busy sorting out her feelings and planning her response to the issue of the list. Her silence was unintentionally driving Helena crazy. The doors to the 17th floor couldn't open fast enough for Helena.
Myka had pressed the button for the 17th floor. They were going to talk… now.
"That can wait," Myka said to Eileen when she went to get the tea for her boss. Eileen knew something was wrong immediately because Myka was leading the way – into Helena's office.
The aroma of the multitude of congratulatory floral arrangements that lined Helena's office greeted them as soon as they entered. Myka walked in, took her coat off, and put her leather portfolio on the table. Helena glanced down at the list of things the lawyer had written, although she couldn't make any of it out.
"Is that all for me?" Helena asked incredulously as she looked down at the paper.
"How many, Helena?" Myka asked her hands planted firmly on her hips.
"Well, I'm not sure, but it looks as if there could be at least thirty questions there," Helena answered, looking at the list.
"How many people can we count on coming out of the crevices of your former life," Myka clarified.
Myka was upset, but she was trying to figure out which part of it belonged to Helena and which part belonged to her. She was upset Helena let that woman kiss her, It was hard for Myka to stay annoyed because she was used to just letting her feelings go. She needed her legal training to keep her on task – for her sake, as well as Helena's.
"Number? Out of my former life?" Helena repeated Myka's questions.
"The list?" Myka reminded her. "How many?"
"Oh," Helena said. It seemed like such a small number when Helena put it together, but now …... "Twelve…..I believe…..at most."
Myka didn't know what number she was expecting, but the confirmation that it was more than one made her take a deep breath. "I want their names," Myka said like she was compiling a witness list.
"I don't remember all their ….," Helena said back quickly, but that wasn't helping her case.
"Over how long a period of time?" Myka continued her questioning.
Helena checked off how many questions she thought Myka had asked and wondered how long the remaining questions would take.
"Years," Helena answered.
"And Giselle?" Myka asked.
"Myka, I met her in France at a party. She followed me back here to New York. I never encouraged her," Helena said truthfully.
Myka listened, but didn't change the expression on her face. "And …..?"
"We kissed …once and that was it," Helena said, wondering what number question that was.
"Was there a bath involved?" Myka said, annoyed that Helena was giving her short answers.
"No! Well, yes….…but we were not in there at the same time. Well, we were for a brief…," Helena stumbled over her explanation. Helena tended not to remember the details of her relationships once they were over. They were lucky if she remembered while she was in the relationship.
"I'm going to need a little clarification on this one," Myka said with the same tone she used in the courtroom.
"I told Giselle I was not interested after the kiss. I was very consumed at work, and had no time for anyone. She left the apartment. Later that night, as I was taking a bath to relax and clear my head, she came back – and came into the bathroom – as I was bathing…alone. She was trying to convince me to give her another chance, but I told her no. She tried to persuade me….and attempted to place her hand…in the water…," Helena said as Myka's eyes grew wide. "But I – shall we say – disarmed her."
"How?" Myka asked. Helena took a deep breath. Surely that was thirty questions.
"I was a highly trained agent. I grabbed her arm and flipped her over," Helena said wishing that was the end. It wasn't.
"Into the bathtub? While you were in it? So you were in there together?" Myka asked in rapid succession.
"No! Well, yes…but momentarily. It's a very…large tub. Giselle was stunned and had no idea where she was. I got out of the bath – put my robe on – helped her out - poured her a drink and explained that I was not interested," Helena said.
"So you were not lovers?" Myka asked and Helena shook her head no. "Why is her name on the list?"
"Giselle, it turned out, was married. A small detail she forgot to mention to me. Her husband found out, divorced her, and enforced her pre-nup which left her with nothing. I gave her some money to get settled here because she said it was not safe to go back to France," Helena explained.
Myka felt a surge of shame to think she was questioning the most generous woman she had ever met.
"You didn't exactly react quickly to her kiss, Helena," Myka said. "I felt it, Helena. You weren't resisting."
"Myka, I was shocked. Truly I was. And I truly was trying to put it all together while she was kissing me. And I was worried that you were going to be upset," Helena said truthfully.
"I was very clear after that actress kissed you in our home," Myka reminded Helena - again.
Helena nodded her head. She detected the slightest softening in Myka's tone. She took a couple of steps trying to close the distance. "I will gladly give you the list. Myka, I tried to tell you ….," Helena said.
"Yes, you did. I know you did. Helena, I'm afraid now that you're engaged, these people will come back to haunt you," Myka said, thinking through the possibilities.
"We're engaged," Helena said slowly – stung by Myka's choice of words.
"What? Yes, of course we are," Myka said – her feelings surging, but having no place to go as she used her left brain to think through what they could be facing. "I'm sorry, Helena."
Myka's apology was salve to the wound and Helena was instantly healed. She moved in to make up, but Myka was preoccupied. She wasn't angry at Helena – Helena hadn't done anything wrong. But the visit from that woman – in their home – made Myka feel vulnerable. She had an obligation as Helena's fiancée and lawyer to protect her. The legal process would be easy.
Helena just wanted Myka to be okay – and she wasn't – and the Brit wasn't sure how to make it better. Helena detested not knowing what to do.
"I am sorry, Myka. I should have reacted more quickly and not allowed her to kiss me," Helena said.
"That's right," Myka said, and then added, "Thank you."
"Why don't we talk ….," Helena said, moving in slowly, "…about this over dinner?"
"We'll see," Myka said, still not sure what this information did for her. Helena was being very open and that should have calmed Myka's fears.
Yet, something gnawed at her.
"Myka, remember - I never expected to see her there," Helena reiterated her defense.
"Then we're going to have to be better prepared for the other eleven people who could come out of your closet at you," Myka said. Helena would have felt better about Myka wanting to put together a plan, if it hadn't been for her tone. "I have questions, but I have to go to a meeting. We'll talk later," Myka said, grabbing her portfolio and the control of when they would talk about it.
She kissed Helena goodbye, but Helena could feel the tension in the kiss. She stood there, unsure of what to do.
Helena – was – unsure. Let's take that in.
Myka walked out past Eileen who watched carefully and who then immediately emailed the inner office group. And Irene.
Irene had just arrived at the building and now had a tough decision to make. Whom to talk to first? She decided to go to the 17th floor first because she knew if Helena wasn't happy, no one would be happy.
"Miss Sullivan?" Helena yelled into her phone speaker on her desk. "Tell Mrs. Frederic to come here immediately." Now without Myka there, Helena's frustration was just mounting.
The HR Director instantly appeared in Helena's door, much to even Helena's surprise. Eileen followed her in with two cups of tea. Helena was already pacing the floor out of frustration. Irene thanked Eileen and the assistant left. Then she sat down in the chair in front of Helena's desk and waited for her to stop walking back and forth.
"I did something," Helena said as if Irene brought in the judge and jury with her.
"Oh?" Irene asked, sipping the tea.
"I had no idea that woman would show up there! How did she get in?" Helena asked Irene as if she was in charge of security.
"Well, her name was on the list…," Irene explained.
"Bloody hell! That list!" Helena said with disdain. "No good deed goes unpunished, Helena," Oscar Wilde told me, you know."
"I thought it was Clare Boothe Luce who said it?" Irene said, not skipping a beat.
Helena stared down at the woman. "Write it down, Oscar; write it down, I told him. But did he listen? No!" Helena said – explaining why her 19th century friend did not get the credit as the original author of the phrase. "No one listens!" Helena tried to segue into Myka not listening to her.
Truth be told, Myka was indeed listening to everything. The reason Myka was behaving this way was that she was sorting out her feelings. Irene knew the difference.
"Did you try apologizing for, you know, for not stopping her from kissing you?" Irene asked, peering over the cup.
Dark pools darted back at her. "Yes, I have. I don't know if she accepted them," Helena said.
"Helena, Myka knows you tried to tell her everything. You have been up front with her from the start and she understands that. You have nothing to hide. She just needs to figure out how to deal with the people who might suddenly come back now, that's all," Irene said soothingly.
"Say that again," Helena said, stopping suddenly and sitting down.
"Myka knows you tried to tell her…," Irene started.
"No, the other part," Helena instructed her.
"You have nothing to hide?" Irene asked.
"I have nothing to hide," Helena said, a smile slowly creeping across her glossed lips. "Brilliant."
"Thank you," Irene said, but she wasn't sure Helena meant the compliment for her. "So what is your best course of action?"
"I will answer all of her questions of course and come up with a solution," Helena said. No one knew better than Irene what a concession this was from a woman who was never questioned about anything…ever...except by Myka.
"You're not going to invite the people on the list to dinner are you, Helena?" Irene asked because sometimes Helena overdid solutions.
"No," Helena said, thinking that would be a ridiculous resolution. Although it would be quick. "You don't think….?"
"No, Helena I do not," Irene said quickly.
"Right," Helena said agreeing. "OK, I have work to do," the CEO said, as if Irene were the one keeping her and not the other way around.
"Oh, yes of course. Well, I'll just go and see if I can find something to occupy my time until the next Bering and Wells crisis arises then," Irene said, getting up and walking to the door.
"Irene?" Helena said.
"Yes?" the HR Director said.
"I just want Myka to be okay," Helena admitted.
"Helena, this is all new to Myka. She loves you more than anything and will always meet you halfway or more. But this is an uncharted territory – your lovers and other strangers coming to your house – and she needs time and help in trusting that she's more than capable in handling it," Irene said.
"OK," Helena said.
Irene smiled and closed the door behind her.
"Not engaged 48 hours and things are happening already," the woman muttered as she went to the elevator.
When Myka got off at her floor, Millie rushed at her to offer congratulations. Large bouquets of flowers from colleagues and people wanting interviews lined Millie's desk. She knew from Eileen's message that Myka was upset and so she quieted down as she helped set everything up for the day.
"Don't worry, Ms. Bering," Millie said without even looking at her boss.
"Sorry?" Myka said.
"The rest of the world will soon know nothing will separate you two. You might just have to push some people back in the process," said the woman who never let anyone cut in front of her on line unless they asked politely.
"Yes," Myka said – agreeing with the sentiment. Myka had never been one to make a show and she was afraid that was exactly what it was going to take. Helena was hers, dammit.
"How many students are coming?" Myka asked Millie. Myka had agreed to give a lecture on corporate law that morning.
"Fifteen," Millie answered. Then she took the packets and went to the back of Myka's office that had been set up with 16 chairs in a circle.
"What time do they arrive?" Myka asked, wishing she had time to call Helena.
"Any minute," Millie said and then realized why her boss asked. "You have time to call," Millie said, leaving so her boss could call in private.
Myka picked up her phone to dial Helena when she looked outside her window to the digital display of the latest news flashing across the street on the jumbotron. There, splashed across the large television screen were what appeared to be two women in bathing suits, holding hands. If Helena refused to give the press what they wanted, they were going to make things up and provoke her into giving interviews.
"A new tell-all book about Helena Wells' lovers by an author who says she was in fact one of them for many months," the closed captioning read.
"Oh my God!" Myka let out as she read it. She knew the picture wasn't even Helena. She knew that body from any angle.
"It's terrible, isn't it?" Irene said and made Myka jump. The woman was sitting in the chair in front of Myka's desk. Myka never even heard her come in.
"Irene!" Myka said, clutching her chest and laughing nervously, startled by her presence. "I didn't hear you….."
"Yes, you were deep in thought," Irene smiled. "Myka, did you ever have someone say something about you that wasn't true…..?"
"You mean fabricate something?" Myka asked, taking her seat behind her desk.
"Yes, something that was a lie," Irene asked.
"Sure, this one time …," Myka started and then realized Irene wasn't asking as much as instructing. She was very subtle – and very good.
"Since I have known Helena, they have made things up. They are fascinated with her – for all the right reasons, but when they want more, they simply go and make things up. That woman showing up this morning could be the tip of the iceberg, Myka," Irene warned.
"I know it isn't Helena's fault," Myka said. "Yet, she didn't stop that kiss you know," Myka blurted out – getting to the heart of her frustration.
"You know Helena is consumed with how you will react to things, right?" Irene asked. "Even though she has been very open about her past, she worries that you will have a hard time. I don't mean to overstate the obvious Myka, but Helena isn't like anyone else. I don't mean for the apparent reasons like having a longer past than most of us. She's never been with anyone like you, Myka. In all the time I have known Helena, she's never been in love – until you. And sometimes we forget that Helena doesn't have all the answers," Irene said slowly.
"I think I expected Helena to stop her," Myka said, getting to the part she felt really badly about.
"I think Helena will be better prepared - if there is a next time. In the meantime, you and Helena need to work out your message to ….," Irene said and pointed out the window.
"That news report?" Myka asked.
"The world, Myka. You need everyone to know that Helena is no longer available. And she can't do that alone," Irene said, getting up because the lesson was over.
Irene was right. Helena's past was emerging and it was going to be newsworthy. Myka should be by Helena's side. Helena was so adept at handling anything, that Myka didn't realize that maybe this was something she had to be in charge of.
"Thank you, Irene," Myka said as the Sage started to walk towards the door.
In the meantime, Helena's frustration had been building. The more she tried to think things through, the more she knew Myka was giving her mixed signals. "I don't need to know your past, show me the list. I don't need to know about your former life, I want their names," Helena said as she tried to figure out what was going on with Myka.
If there was one thing the Brit found intolerable, it was being unable to solve a puzzle. She glanced down at the coat Myka left and decided she was going to return it to her – with a message.
A very clear message.
Millie was telling the group of Columbia University Law students that lined the waiting area - that the meeting would start shortly, when the elevator door opened and Helena stepped out.
Dressed in the Burberry long cotton gabardine python sleeve trench coat that Myka left in her office, Helena marched straight for Myka's door. A long slender index finger raised in Millie's direction indicated that the woman should not try to stop the impromptu visit. Helena opened the door, at the same time that Irene was on the other side.
Irene stood there, out of sight as Helena slammed the door shut and went straight to Myka's desk. The whole time she was walking there, she was slowly unfastening the coat's belt and then buttons. She decided she had the perfect way to show Myka she would bare her soul to her if she wanted her to.
"Helena," Myka said – surprised to see her barge in like that and trying to alert her to the fact that Irene was standing there.
But Helena was determined – and nothing was going to stop her.
"Myka Bering, I know you're upset with what happened. I stood there and let that woman kiss me. For that, I am sorry. I am yours Myka and I don't mind you being territorial. In fact," Helena paused long enough to smile, "I rather like it. You should do it more often."
"Helena, …," Myka said, trying to gently let Helena know they weren't alone.
"Myka, I came down here to say that I will tell you whatever you want to know. I will answer a thousand questions if you have them," Helena said emphatically. "I have nothing to hide."
And with that ….
Helena whipped open the very expensive coat and let if fall over her shoulders as she held it at her waist. Helena was baring more than just her soul. Irene was just glad Helena hadn't removed all of her clothes.
"Helena," Myka smiled at the over the top display that only Helena could come up with. "I…," Myka started to say, lost now in the sincere expression on Helena's face – waiting for Myka. "…adore you."
That was all that Helena had to hear. She let the coat fall off, grabbed Myka and pulled her in to a tight embrace. Helena kissed Myka so hard that she left no room for doubt that – all of her - was Myka's.
As much as Irene wanted to leave, she didn't dare open the door while this display was going on. "Ahem," she finally said, her eyes cast up to the ceiling.
Myka remembered now that the woman had not left. "Helena," she said, gently pulling away from Helena's lip lock. Helena turned around to see the woman there as Myka reached down to retrieve the coat.
"Do you ever knock?" Helena snapped, thinking the woman had just shown up.
"You better hope she never presses charges, Helena, because I do not even know where to begin with the paperwork for what...this is," Irene said – waiting for Helena to put the coat back on before she walked out.
Helena put it back on and Irene left.
"I should have stopped that woman. Can you forgive me, Myka?" Helena asked again.
Myka pulled Helena closer by the lapels of the coat. "It wasn't all your fault, Helena. We just need to be better prepared," Myka said.
"Yes, we will figure this out together," Helena promised, kissing Myka's waiting lips.
"Bering and Wells, solving puzzles… and kicking asses," Myka said.
"Myka!" Helena said, feigning surprise.
"Sorry Helena, but you want me to be territorial. I can't exactly do that and be polite," Myka teased.
Just the thought of Myka being tough excited Helena and she grabbed Myka's hands, and put them around her waist.
"Perhaps you want to take a tour of your territory later, to make sure you've got a good lay of the land," Helena whispered as Myka's hands roamed down Helena's back and buttocks.
"Yes, that's a very good idea, Ms. Wells," Myka said slowly, as her fingers lightly circled the small of Helena's back.
"Oh God," Helena said, as she fell into Myka, her knees giving out just a little.
Millie knew from personal experience that you couldn't hear much when Myka's door was closed. But her trained ear distinctly heard the muffled sound of heavy law books falling on the floor inside her boss' office – as if they were being swept off her desk…..to make room.
Millie broke out in a huge smile.
"You know what?" she said to the group of men and women waiting for the lecture on corporate law to begin, "I think we should all go into this conference room down the hall. Right this way."
Then like the Pied Piper, she escorted the group away from Myka's office.
"That was Helena Wells, wasn't it?" one of the law students asked. "Is Ms. Bering in a meeting with her?"
"You could call it that," Millie said, assuring them Myka would be there as soon as she was done.
A good administrative assistant understood that some meetings... should not be rushed.