Hello readers! So, I updated finally. Heh, took me practically a month yeah? Sorry I was really busy with school, and majorly uninspired. But I was doing everything I could to get re-inspired and I think my strategies are working. As much as I'm torn between hating to say this and loving it, this story is coming to an end.
About this chapter, well, it was originally going to be longer than this, but I decided to cut it. I think it would make more sense. And would feel more balanced. Anyway, I think those of you Roxiri fans are going to like this chapter. Special thanks to my reviewers! Seriously I really appreciate all of your reviews. 457! I still can't believe this story has reached that many. I remember when it only had reviews still in the one digit numbers. Lmao. Anyway, thank you. And I'm sorry I don't reply to all of your reviews personally, it's really hard to keep up with them. And if I miss one of you in replying, don't take it personally. :(
Thank you so much, guys!
And enjoy the chapter!
x.X.x
Chapter 37
Leave me paralyzed, love. Leave me hypnotized, love.
-"Consequence" Notwist
x.X.x
I watched as Sora smiled softly in my direction. He gave me a small wave as he reached the sidewalk. I blinked before waving back.
And then he turned around and continued his trek home.
It was over. It really was over.
That thought was still ringing through my head as I walked into my house, past my mother who was raising a questionable brow in my direction (no doubt she was spying on me), and even as I went into my room.
Without Sora's presence, I felt – if it were possible – a larger sense of relief. I don't know how long we were both pretending to want each other. I couldn't tell you exactly when I started wishing Sora wasn't - well - Sora. Or when the frustration started emerging every time his lips pressed against mine, and they weren't the lips I wanted to taste; it wasn't the soft and tender kiss, I wanted.
If someone asked I'd be clueless as to when I started imagining his chocolate brown hair shift to a golden blonde or the tanned face to lighten into a pale, fair skin.
Maybe it had been there all along – since the whole necklace incident, and I didn't see it until now.
I sighed, a little too dreamily for my liking, before I fell back on my bed, and pulling out my phone. My fingers moved as if they had minds of their own, scrolling down my contacts stopping on the name that sent my stomach doing somersaults.
I paused, thumbing over the call button.
Should I call him?
Should I not call him?
What if he's still mad at me?
Would I sound too desperate?
It's not like I'm going to suddenly proclaim my love to him over the phone.
There it was again. Love. It made my lower belly tingle in this unknown but very familiar feeling whenever the blonde was brought up into conversations. Love. Love. Love.
He loves me, right?
Of course he does, why else would he say it?
I felt my face heat up in a small blush as I rolled over on my side, grabbing a pillow and hugging it close to my chest.
Call him.
Don't call him.
Call him.
Don't call him.
It's Roxas, for Kingdom Hearts' sake, Kairi! Just call the damn boy!
I growled before clutching at my phone and impulsively hitting the call button. Whatever drove me to actually call him, died out immediately after two rings. My blood literally drained out of my face, and I felt a huge knot in my throat.
What the hell was I doing? I couldn't just call him, out of the blue. What was I even going to say to him?
Hi Roxas?
Hi Roxas!
God, I was such a loser. I contemplated whether hanging up the phone or not, but I didn't get to reach a decision because the next thing I knew I heard his groggy voice on the other line, and I swear all functions of my body stopped.
"Kairi?" He murmured sleepily. My eyes quickly shot towards the clock on my nightstand. It was only 9 o'clock, why on earth was he asleep this early? I mean it was winter break, why would anyone even want to sleep that early when they could - "Hello, are you there?"
I didn't realize I was holding my breath.
"H-hi Roxas." I slapped my forehead. Idiot. Idiot. IDIOT!
He paused.
"Hello." He replied, his voice slowly returning to normal.
Say something!
"What is it?" Roxas continued, making me lose my train of thought for a second.
"Um, were you asleep?" I played it off as nonchalantly. Although, my face was slowly turning the color of my hair.
"Yeah kind of…" He trailed off.
I stayed quiet for a second, trying to calm myself. It was just a phone conversation! If I was this bad talking over the phone, I can't imagine how I'd be like around him in person. Why was it so hard just to talk to him now?
That time at the movie theater it wasn't as bad as this, but then well we weren't really talking… and I majorly pissed him off.
My lips fell into a frown as I remembered that conversation.
"I'm sorry." I finally said.
"It's fine, I should've been up anyway – " He started, with a yawn, but I cut him off quickly.
"No, I mean I'm sorry about what happened at the theaters the other day." I said quietly.
He hesitated, and then I heard him sigh deeply on the other line.
"I've decided to forgive you already." He replied.
"It was really messed up of- "
"Kairi, I forgive you. Drop it."
I fell silent and looked down at my fingers.
"You still there?" He probed.
"Yeah… " I stopped. "Why did you decide to forgive me so suddenly? You can hold a grudge for a pretty long time you know?"
I heard him scoff, and I just knew he was smirking. I could have almost pictured it.
"It's stupid to be mad at you. And plus it's sort of impossible to stay mad at you for a long time, especially when you try to play baseball." He chuckled.
I pouted.
"That's not funny."
"Yeah it is."
"No it's not!"
"You're right it's not."
"Huh? Really?"
"Yeah. It's sort of cute, in a weird way."
I felt my face boil in embarrassment.
"Sorry, too much?" Roxas asked, after my longer than ten seconds silence.
"N-no it's okay."
He coughed uncomfortably, and I let out a large breath I didn't know I was holding.
"So, is that – uh – why you called me?" He questioned.
"Um… "
Why did I call him?
I wanted to hear your voice….
God that sounded stupid even in my head.
"Kairi?"
"I broke up with Sora." I blurted out. I had no idea what possessed me to spill that fresh piece of info to him. I kind of had a different plan as to how I would break the news to Roxas.
Speaking of whom, the other line was silent. For a brief, horrifying second, I seriously thought he hung up on me.
"Really." He finally spoke. It wasn't a question.
"Yeah."
"That's… good?"
"Yeah, it was a mutual decision."
He merely hummed in agreement, which suddenly had me worried. I almost had expected for him to go back to trying to win me over, but it didn't come.
"Uh…yeah." I muttered awkwardly.
"Good for you."
Good for you? Really, Roxas? Really?
"Yeah…" I trailed off, only to be disappointed when he didn't say anything else. I sighed. "Well I have to go."
x.X.x
To say that conversation went absolutely well would have been a complete lie. It left me feeling like an idiot and worse, a lovesick puppy. It took me a lot to admit that.
It was even worse than before I apologized to Roxas. I was miserable. How could he have snubbed me like that? I was obviously leaving hints all over that damn conversation. Roxas wasn't oblivious like Sora; I knew he picked up on them. I could have sworn on my life. That fact alone left me feeling even more miserable than what I was initially feeling.
What if he just decided all of a sudden that he didn't want me anymore?
Just the thought of that, made me go crazy. Seriously, fate would suck monkey abortion if that happened.
It got so bad to the point that my mom even snapped at me.
"You're not allowed to act like a mopey lovesick idiot. You're just a kid." She snapped, glaring at me, when we were both watching t.v. and she caught me still in my P.J's.
She'd been snappy for the next few days after that baseball day; my dad still hadn't come home. I didn't really want to get into it. It was their problem. I had my own feelings to worry about.
I just sighed as a response and rolled away from her on the couch. While I groped for the remote on the other side of me, I felt my phone buzz against my leg. I perked up immediately, and snatched up the phone only to feel the wave of disappointment hit me.
It wasn't who I was expecting. Actually, I didn't even know why I was wasting my effort to expect him. After the baseball game, the news of my breakup with Sora seemed to spread like a wildfire amongst my friends. I swear I received more than ten text messages a day from different people all sending their condolences to me and rudely cursing out Sora. I don't know what made me angrier the fact that they were insulting Sora or that they honestly believed that I was dumped. Hello, I was not dumped.
It got to the point where I was so close to turning off my phone, but I kept getting that nagging feeling to keep it on, just in case –
Buzz!
I looked down at my phone. A new text message from Xion.
I sighed, before closing it. I really couldn't be bothered by her. I sighed again, when I felt another buzz.
New message from Xion.
"Ugh, leave me alone, crazy woman!" I growled under my breath, as I snapped my phone shut for the second time.
"I hope you're not talking about me!" My mom warned
"No I'm not so just –"
My speech was immediately cut off when the loud ring of the doorbell sounded through the living room. I stopped short and glanced at my mom, who just shrugged her shoulders.
I jumped from my seat and slowly walked towards the door. I felt my stomach tingle and my face flush.
Could it be?
Once I latched my hand on the door handle and yanked it open, the hopeful feeling bubbling in my lower stomach immediately washed away.
"Hey Kairi, you didn't reply to my text messages!" Xion greeted, before giving me a scowl. She stepped through the door, and looked me up and down. Her eyebrow raised in doubt. "Geez I heard all the rumors, but I seriously didn't believe you'd take being dumped by Sora that personally."
I glared.
"I'm not taking it personally." I snapped. "And I was not dumped."
"You're still in your P.J's and it's already noon." She stated flatly. "Come on you have to go out, see the world, forget about that boy."
She grabbed my wrist and dragged me up the stairs towards my room.
"I'm not – I'm not moping over Sora!" I seethed angrily, trying to pull my hand away from hers. She only gripped tighter and yanked me along. I sighed in defeat before following her.
She stopped abruptly, causing me to bump into her. She quickly turned around and eyed me. I could see amusement flashing between those two orbs.
"Oh, so you were moping over someone else I take it?" She teased.
I felt my face flush. Her gaze was unrelenting, until I bowed my head and sighed.
"Yes."
"Hah, I knew it." She blurted out, releasing her grip on my wrist and clapping her hands together. "I knew it! You don't know how badly I want to rub this in Aqua's face. You should've seen how superior she was acting lately. Stupid moron thinks she's all high and mighty just because she's been talking to Roxas. As if she has a chance now that – "
"Wait, she was talking to Roxas?" My mouth went dry as her gloating expression melted in less than a second.
"I mean… it's not- I mean you haven't told him yet right?" Xion deflated. I knew I probably looked ten times as worse. I couldn't help the sinking feeling I felt in my chest. Roxas would rather talk to Aqua than – than me?
If Xion weren't here I probably would have broken down right there in the hallway. But I swallowed the large lump in my throat and shook the feeling away, trying to play off as indifferent. If he wanted to talk to other girls, I didn't care.
It doesn't matter.
I do care though… Because I –
"Haven't told him what exactly?" I snapped, brushing past Xion and walking inside my room. I was seriously tempted to slam the door behind me, but I resisted the urge. Instead, I flopped on my bed, praying that Xion would take the hint and leave me to my misery.
But I heard her footsteps approach me, and her shadow loom over my body. She bent over me, gazing at me with that same guilty expression on her eyes.
"That you – that you love him. You do love him don't you?" She pressed, her eyebrows pulling together in confusion.
"No." I sniffed.
Her blue eyes narrowed.
"You're such a little liar! I thought you were passed the denial phase."
"I don't know what you're getting at."
"Oh shut up!" She scowled, grabbing my wrist and pulling me up into a sitting position. "Come on get dressed already. We're going out."
"Where are we going out?" I snapped.
"To see your beloved in all of his skateboarding glory… in the Destiny Islands shopping center parking lot." She beamed, probably an attempt at convincing me.
I paused for a moment considering what she just said.
"I don't want to go out." I complained. Xion rolled her eyes.
"Come on, you look like a vampire."
I turned to look at her with a raised brow. Xion sighed, crossing her arms over her chest.
"And not the Edward Cullen kind either." She added. "Sorry, honey, but you're not sparkling."
x.X.x
After much persuasion on Xion's part, and many complaints on my part, I was dressed. Xion wrinkled her nose at my choice in attire.
"You need to show some legs." She said.
"I don't need to show anything." I stammered.
"Don't you want to show off for Roxas?" Xion continued with a tiny little smirk playing on her lips. Her comment silenced me, for a whole ten seconds. I felt my face fall into a deep frown, and heat up considerably.
When I didn't respond, her smile grew until it reminded me vaguely of one of Sora's smiles. "Aha, you're so obvious."
"Shut up!"
x.X.x
We opted for shorts instead.
x.X.x
Once we were outside the door, Xion pulled out her phone and dialed a number. I shivered beside her – I didn't realize that the weather was just as cold as it had been the day of the baseball game. The clouds were still a murky gray and I was worried it would have started to rain any time soon. I was so close to running back inside and throwing jeans on, but Xion clamped a hand on my wrist, as if reading my thoughts.
So I sighed, and rubbed my thighs, hoping to create some kind of warmth.
"Oh hey! Well, we're waiting for you." Xion said into the phone. "Uh huh, uh huh. Yep, outside right now… Well hurry up! Okay bye."
She snapped her phone shut and turned to look at me with a smug look.
"Who was that?" I demanded.
"Namine." She stated simply.
"What? Is – she's not coming with us, is she?" I asked warily. Xion's expression didn't waver as she stared at me with that relentless gaze. Somehow I knew her answer before she even said it.
"Of course, Kairi. She's our friend." She said brightly.
I felt my angered expression fall, and I wrapped an arm over another.
"Xion… I don't think this is a good idea…" I trailed off, hoping she'd get the hint. She sighed heavily and put an arm on my shoulder.
"You two really need to stop being so self-pitying and make up already. You guys are best friends." She said, putting major emphasize on the last two words.
I shook my head.
"I don't – I mean it's not as simple as that- " I started, but she huffed impatiently.
"Yes it is! You both are just making it more difficult than what it really is."
"Xion, it is difficult. I don't think things will ever be the same between us. Of course I'll always care for her, but we're just – it's not the same. We won't be as close as we once were and that thought scares me." I admitted. I looked away from Xion's sympathetic stare.
She was quiet, and for a while all I could hear was the creaking of the front porch as she shifted her weight from each foot.
"No, things won't be the same between the two of you. You're right about that Kairi." Xion said finally. "But it's only because you both would be closer than you'll ever be. So just grow up and talk to her."
I frowned and continued to stare at the wooden floor. I didn't know what to say that was more to what I had already said. Xion just didn't get it. She didn't understand how much my friendship with Namine suffered.
"I can't do that." I muttered, lifting my eyes to meet her gaze. Her expression was stony, and she looked as if she were about to argue, but a voice made us both stop in our tracks.
"Sorry, for making you wait. It was my mom, she just get's so paranoid." Namine herself stepped up hesitantly on the porch and looked between us. I knew she could feel the tension, and I wondered idly if she knew exactly what he had been discussing before she came.
Her blue eyes lingered on me, and I caught a mixture of pain and something else flash through them. She looked away immediately when I continued to study her.
"So are we ready to go?" Namine asked overly eager.
"Nope we're waiting for one more person." Xion said, reaching to grab her phone again. "According to his messages, he's almost here."
"Who's coming?" I asked suddenly, snapping my attention away from the blonde to look at Xion.
"Sora." Xion muttered, typing into her phone.
"Sora?" Namine blurted out suddenly. My eyes flickered in her direction and I saw anger boiling in her features. Her blue eyes narrowed, as she gritted her teeth, and directed her glare towards Xion. "Why are you inviting him?"
"Play nice, Namine." Xion warned.
Namine flushed and crossed her arms over her chest. "I can't believe you invited him, Xion."
"I was being a good friend." Xion replied coolly. "You shouldn't get so mad."
"I'm not mad." She huffed.
I stared at the two bickering back and forth. Mostly Namine denying her anger and Xion kindly pointing out that Namine was indeed angry. Saying I was confused out of my mind was an understatement. What was going on with Sora and Namine?
Did they not end up together?
My internal questioning stopped when I spotted the familiar, messy brunette, bounding his way up the pathway.
"Hey guys!" Sora said happily, climbing the steps just as Namine had. Speaking of the blonde, she immediately turned her head the other way, refusing to look at him. I caught the way Sora's shoulder's sagged slightly at this.
He smiled at me and pulled me into friendly hug. It was nice, I'll admit. I didn't expect anything and neither did he. We were – for lack of a better word – cool.
"Hey Kairi, how goes it?" He asked in a teasing manner.
Horrible! You're cousin is a big jerk and I can't believe he'd rather talk to that huge giant bimbo than me!
I forced a grin. "It's good. And how about you?"
If it were anyone else, they wouldn't be able to tell that Sora, too, forced a smile.
"Fine."
"So we're ready to go right, Xion?" Namine cut in harshly, and I stared almost shocked at how aggressive she was being.
Seriously, what the hell was going on?
x.X.x
"Care to explain what's going on?" I finally asked Sora, as we were walking. He had his hands in his pocket, and his eyes were on Namine, walking with Xion, a few feet ahead of us. "I could be wrong, but I believe the dynamics of our walking partners are a bit mixed up don't you think?"
His lips lifted into a halfhearted smile. He reached up and ruffled my hair.
"Always the sarcastic one aren't you?" He teased.
"Don't change the subject." I replied sharply, shooting him a glare.
He sighed, shaking his head. "She's angry."
"Well that much is obvious." I stated. At this he shot me a dirty look. And I winced apologetically.
"She's angry with me." He clarified.
"What did you do?" I deadpanned.
"Why do you assume it's my fault?" He whined, and I couldn't help but chuckle at this. Sora's lips fell into a pout at my laughter. "Whatever, she's mad because we broke up."
I pulled my eyebrows together as I studied that back of Namine's head as if the answers were all there.
"Why on earth would she be angry over that? Shouldn't she be happy?" I mumbled incredulously.
"That's what I thought!"
"What did you say exactly?" I questioned.
"I just said that we broke up, because we both didn't want to be together anymore and… " He trailed off, with a worried look gracing his features.
"And what?" I demanded, tugging at his sweater sleeve.
"And that you knew about me and her, and our conversation." Sora admitted. I sighed, furrowing my eyebrows.
"That makes no sense." I said.
"I think she feels guilty." He supplied.
"For what?"
"For making us break up."
"It wasn't even her fault." I felt my blood boil. Why does she have to act so stupid at the worst times possible? Sora was clearly showing that he wanted to be with her and she still has the decency to keep rejecting him?
I shook my head, and clutched harder on his sweater. "You're not giving up."
"I don't know what else to do."
"Sweep her off her feet." I commanded.
"I can't, if she won't even look at me." He complained.
"I'll be damned if you two do not get together!" I snapped.
Because really, after everything that happened in order for Namine to finally confess her feelings, it would have been a waste if she just gave up on Sora now.
Sora frowned, before grinning at me.
"Roxas is a lucky guy, yeah?"
My face flushed immediately. "We're talking about you, here." I pointed out.
"Yeah well, I'll be damned if you two do not get together either, so hah!"
I couldn't help it, my lips broke into a wide smile. It was the first smile I made in such a long time.
x.X.x
My heart was already racing as we finally approached the parking lot. My eyes immediately scanned out the area, looking for that familiar honey blonde. Or the sound of wheels scraping against the hard, black concrete.
I was excited – no that wasn't even the word – I was ecstatic. I knew I was practically jumping in my stride as we continued to search for the skater. Sora noticed, shoot me a playful smirk, which caused me to blush angrily and smack him on the arm.
"Kairiii's like a little puppy!" He sang.
"Leave me alone!" I snapped.
Xion was the first to spot him, and when my eyes fell on him, I swear my whole surroundings sort of slowed down to mush. It was cliché to even think that, but I wasn't even thinking that moment.
Roxas rode soundlessly on the pavement, flipped his skateboard, and moved around with such ease that I didn't realize until now that he was actually a pretty graceful person. His blonde hair whipped as the wind hit it. He sped up, doing another flip and I watched amazed.
I was rooted on the spot; paralyzed. Hypnotized, even by his movements. My legs were like jelly and for a moment I didn't know how I was able to stand up. I felt my stomach churn, as it felt like little people doing trapeze moves across, from one side to the other. My body was swimming with this newfound warmth. He was shining again, shining sunbeams warming my flesh, despite the cold weather. It felt like a toasty summer's day, rather than a cloudy Saturday.
I could briefly see the concentration on his face, his blue eyes filled with that passion I had yearned for. His lips, pursed before every sharp turn or movement he would do. His lips – those soft lips that tasted so much like –
"Go Roxas! You're amazing!" My thoughts came crashing down when I heard her voice. I felt the warmth suck out of my body, as if someone vacuumed my insides.
She was cheering for him, and he turned to look at her. I felt the awed expression slowly curl downwards into a frown. Her blue hair danced around her face, as she ran towards him. He stopped his skateboard and approached her, scratching the back of his head.
"Wow, I didn't know you were this good." Aqua said in a low voice, reaching forward to brush her fingers against his arm. "I'm impressed, Roxas."
I caught the way, his pale face flushed slightly. "Oh, uh, well it's nothing really."
"Oh don't be so modest." She moved closer. And for the second time that day, I felt paralyzed.
What do I do?
What can I do?
"Do you think you can teach me?" She asked, her voice coated with sweetness that almost had me puking.
"Um, well I guess."
Okay that was the last straw.
"Roxas!" I blurted out, causing his head to snap in my direction. The color drained out of his face and I can't exactly say that that was a boost to my self confidence.
"Kairi?" He called out, walking towards me. I noticed, the way his blue eyes dipped down at first (thank you Xion for your smart sense of fashion) and then meet my eyes. "What are you… wearing?"
I blushed lightly.
"Do you like it?"
"It's cold." He deadpanned. Unconsciously I felt myself step closer to him.
"I'm actually feeling a bit warm." I said automatically. His blue eyes narrowed slightly as they darted between my own. I knew he was trying to work out my motives in his head and I wish he wouldn't. Couldn't he tell? I was completely, and undeniably putting myself out there.
All he had to do was take me.
His eyes lowered, and I felt him studying me. It was kind of embarrassing, considering that there were others watching our exchange (I was only vaguely aware of it). He lightly chewed on his lip and I felt my core quiver in excitement. This was it.
Just make your move already.
His gaze rose back to my face, and I could see the fiery passion in them. The passion that made my heart swell with pride and what was it? Love? I bowed my head and smiled tentatively in his direction.
He opened his mouth to speak but then she interrupted quickly, breaking us both from our intense bubble.
"Oh, hey Katie, long time no see right?" Aqua butted in, wrapping an arm around his. I glared – like full on – glared at her. I tried to wear my most murderous glower, but she just smiled back.
"It's Kairi actually." I spat out, not even trying to hide my obvious disgust.
"Oh right. Sorry." She snapped unkindly. "Anyway, Roxy, are you going to teach me now?"
Roxy? ROXY? No one but me can call him that.
I was ready to pounce on this girl. She needed to back off. A very vivid mental image of me, pushing her down on the floor and hitting her face sprang up in my head. It was enough for me to restrain the actual act of it happening, however it didn't stop our glare-athon with each other.
Roxas blinked, snapping out of his daze – his Kairi daze – to stare at her.
"Huh?" He murmured dully.
Aqua pouted, and shot him a puppy dog stare that made me gag. This girl really had no tricks at all. Desperate much?
"You're going to teach me right?" She probed, pressing herself against his side.
"You should take a break." I interjected. "You look really tired. Maybe we can go get an ice cream in the mall?" I latched a hand on his other arm.
"It's okay Karen; he's going to teach me. He doesn't mind, do you Roxas?" Aqua replies, tugging on his arm.
"It's Kairi!" I snapped, letting go of Roxas's hand. "I think Roxas can make up his own mind, Aqueduct."
"What did you call me?" She fumed, also releasing Roxas, and stepping forward in a threatening manner. I should have been scared, because she was maybe half a head taller than I was. And with her heels, she only seemed taller. But I was just so angry, the fear inside seemed to have disappeared.
"What? Isn't that your name?"
"It's Aqua."
"Kairi come on." I felt someone tug at my hand from behind. I yanked it back, and took step closer towards the taller girl, who glared down at me.
"I'm so sorry; it must have slipped my mind Aquarium."
"You little – "
Xion stepped in the middle, and lightly pushed Aqua back, I still felt the tugging back on my wrist.
"Kairi, please!"
I was still angry, but I let the hand pull me away from the blue haired girl. I followed the pulling sensation, without even really seeing who was dragging me away. I was too focused on stomping off, and resisting the urge to run back and seriously punch that girl. Seriously. What. The. Hell?
"Who does she think she is!" I snapped, as we continued to walk off, a safe distance. We turned the corner, and through the automatic doors, inside the loud noise of the shopping center.
"I know, I know." The voice reassured. I felt an arm wrap over my shoulder, and squeeze my shoulder.
"I mean, what does she think she's doing? Hanging on to him like that? I should have just gone back and wiped that stupid smirk off of her face!"
"It's okay Kairi. It's better this way. You don't want to get into a fight."
The arm guided our direction and led me to the bench that was usually next to the directory sign. I felt the arm move away and two hands on my shoulders pushing me to sit down.
I sighed, feeling my anger start to slowly wash away. A hand was still on my shoulder. When it gave me another squeeze, it was then I remembered someone else was with me. I looked up to be met with a worried looking Namine, staring down at me.
"Namine." I mumbled in acknowledgement. She grinned slightly, and sat down next to me.
"You freaked me out for a second." She admitted.
"Sorry." I answered wearily.
"It's okay, I would be angry too." She said softly. I glanced at her, to see the initial pain flash through her eyes.
"Except you weren't." I countered. Her blue eyes widened in shock at my unexpected comment. I was delving into uncharted territory. Some things really are better left unsaid. "Never mind. I think I deserve this, you know, getting a taste of my own medicine."
"No one deserves this." She remarked.
I shook my head, and buried my face in my hands. "I don't know what to do."
Namine was silent. And all I could hear was the babble of the people walking by.
"You have to tell him." She said finally in a quiet voice. "You have to tell him before it's too late."
I looked at her, and I could see it – see herself in her own words. I could feel her own pain. For some odd, reason I realized exactly why she wouldn't be with Sora despite how much she wanted him. She was doing it for me. The respect that she still showed for me was almost heartbreaking.
I could feel my eyes tear up, as I continued to stare at her. I knew we weren't best friends anymore. At that thought hurt me because we still unconsciously were best friends. Nothing could really change that. It was set in stone.
Namine was mine as I was hers.
She saw the tears building up in my eyes and I could see her worried expression growing more prominent.
"Kairi, don't –"
I leaned forward, wrapped my arms around her and buried my head against her shoulder. I felt her stiffen against me.
"Kairi… "
"Please, can we just stay like this for a little while. Just a little bit. Please." I quietly cried into her shirt. She was frozen. I could feel it. But slowly, after what felt like a whole minute, she returned the embrace and pulled me closer.
"Yeah, we can."
x.X.x
We returned back with the group in silence. I couldn't bring up any subject. And I felt like I was on another planet from Namine again. How was it possible that few minutes earlier we were close and now we're as distant as ever again?
Somehow, Xion had convinced Aqua to return home. And no one was in the mood to watch Roxas skate around – even he wasn't in the mood to do that. I watched as he looked at me. A mixture of frustration and confusion.
Namine drifted back to the safe confines of Xion and Sora, and without me noticing, they had intentionally left me alone with Roxas. Sneaky Bastards.
Regardless, I intended to use this time wisely. Quietly I walked towards him, who was sitting on the curb, watching the cars go by. I sat down, closer than what I normally would have sat. Roxas turned to look at me.
"Hey." I murmured, feeling my stomach start to flutter again with his intense stare.
"Kairi what are you doing?" He asked seriously. I faltered slightly. His dark eyebrows pulled together, and his lips pulled downward into a frown.
"What do you mean?"
"What are you doing? Calling me to tell me you broke up with your boyfriend, getting into fights, what are you even trying to accomplish?"
I fell silent, and turned away from his gaze.
"I don't know." I mumbled. "I have no idea what I'm doing."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
I could clearly hear the impatience in his voice. I chewed my lip and contemplated. What do I say? What do I say? What do I say?
I audibly gulped and turned back to him. I reached out and placed a hesitant hand over his. He looked down curiously, before turning back to me.
"I broke up with Sora because I – I want to be with you." I admitted in a quaky breath. "I meant what I said; I like you, Roxas. A lot. And I just – "
"You want to be with me?" He repeated my words slowly. His eyes as wide as saucers. I blinked, before nodding my head. I felt my face heat up in a small blush as I noticed his lips twitch into a small smile. "You, Kairi, want to be with me? And not Sora?"
"Yes." I answered simply, feeling my own lips pull into a smile.
"Pinch me, I must be dreaming." He said in a dazed voice. I watched as he sighed heavily, looking away, and then turning back. All of sudden he reached up towards my face and poked my nose, then my cheek, my forehead and my chin.
"What are you doing?" I laughed out, pushing his hand away.
"Trying to make sure this is real, and that you won't disappear." He muttered. I felt my laugh die out, and my lips fall into a frown. Roxas's eyebrows furrowed and he moved closer. "What's wrong?"
"I should have realized how difficult I made this for you before. And I'm sorry for it." I said softly. His smile only grew as he shook his head.
"Don't apologize."
He reached forward, and his fingers brushed against my cheek. I closed my eyes, relishing the sensation, feeling the goosebumps erupt at his fingertips. This was – this was real. Roxas was here, I was here, and we were here together.
I could feel the words burning at my throat, begging to fall out of my mouth. Those three words that sent my heart pounding and the urge to touch him only stronger.
Just say it. Say it.
"Can I kiss you?" He whispered gently, only a few inches away from my face. I raised an eyebrow at his nervous expression.
"Since when have you ever asked permission?"
Roxas smirked. "I don't know, it felt like the thing to do. So, can I?"
I paused, considering what he said, before smiling widely.
"You know, now that you mention it. No. You can't kiss me." I said triumphantly, pushing away from him and standing up. At this he frowned, but also stood up.
"Why not?" He demanded.
"After all of those other times we've kissed I just realized something." I said, causing his frown to deepen. He crossed his arms over his chest and cocked an eyebrow.
"And that is?"
"We've never been on a date." I pointed out.
"So? It's never stopped you before." He mumbled sullenly. I felt my face flush at his blunt honesty.
"Therefore, you have to take me out on a date." I continued as if I hadn't heard his comment. "And then maybe, you can kiss me."
He hesitated, staring at me with what looked like admiration and frustration all rolled into one. After a couple of silent seconds, he sighed.
"Fine. Tomorrow. Six o'clock. I'll pick you up."
I smiled.
This was it.
Or so I thought.
x.X.x
Thank you for reading! :D Hope you enjoyed it! I plan to update soon. But most of the time, my plans are complete disasters. So I couldn't tell you when exactly I'll update. I'm sorry :(
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