Okay, I never usually put a note at the top, but I feel like I have to due to my long absence-since I haven't updated this story in nearly a year and I feel horrible for that. I'm so so so so sorry, but I feel like that's not going to work, because this is a story that I truly do love and you guys are amazing for sticking with it. I haven't updated because I have been busy, unfortunately, this whole year's been overwhelming and I am the worst at balancing everything out. But, now I'm getting the hang of it, and hopefully you would have me and this story again. Thank you to everyone that has reviewed, followed, and favorited while I was gone and throughout, you guys are truly my inspiration for even writing, and I don't know what I would do without your support.

I hope you enjoy the chapter!

The Big Wheel

"A bet's a bet." My eyes went up to the large thing that towered over the boardwalk. No way. There was no way I was going on that. Unless, he'd drug me, but I would use every ounce body strength to not even allow that to happen. I looked over at him, biting down hard on my lower lip. Loki looked so gleeful, like a little kid ready to steal his very own lollipop from the candy store. No matter what I would do, it seemed that he wasn't going to let this one go.

I sighed, loudly. "A bet's a bet."

"You should not have bet this if you knew you were going to los—."

"I didn't know that I was going to lose, besides you probably cheated."

Loki laughed in almost disbelief. The line moved forward and his hand was at the small of my back immediately, making me follow. "You were teaching me how to cheat, Alexandra."

"Doesn't mean a thing, you just admitted to cheating, bet forfeited." When I went to turn around, his hand shot out to grab my arm and pull me right back to his side again. He pulled me so close to him, I could his breath moving along my ear and he also had a tight grip, so tight that I could feel all the blood from that area go elsewhere.

That wasn't going to work; no excuse was going to work. This was going to happen no matter what. "Alex, don't be a coward."

"I'm not a coward."

"You will be if you don't do this."

I didn't answer him. After what we talked about the night before, how I learned everything that I can about his past and about him himself, for him to call me a coward, the one who was pretty cowardly himself in many situations, it was a pure insult, through and through. I knew he took pleasure in watching me squirm, but this was a new kind of torture that I was not used to.

The Ferris wheel came into full view suddenly, and the car stopped in front of us. My eyes watched it swing back and forth, looking more and more untrustworthy as it swung. The ride operator's words to us were such a blur as he ushered us into the car, but he gave me the strangest look as he closed us in. Loki sat across from me, with his hand at his mouth and his leg over the other. As the ride operator moved away from us, Loki muttered, "Even he thinks you are insane for having an irrational fear over children rides."

"That's not what I'm scared of," I rolled my eyes, already grinding at my teeth. I tried my best to look at something other than over the car's edge, my feet, or just up. My only option was to really look straight at Loki, but he was making it more difficult than it had to be. Since he wasn't looking at me or really anything. He was looking over. I was beginning to chew on my bottom lip, crossing my arms over my chest once I started to feel my stomach churn. My anxiety was rising up. I felt it. "I'm afraid of heights."

Loki glanced over at me. It was a rather condescending look, which I was thankful for. After last night, we seemed to have forgotten what was going to happen, just for a little while. We did not have any sort of tension between us; we had what we had before. Only we were a little more… caring towards each other. I'd take both the loving and condescending looks any day, rather than just having one thrown at me all the time. It just felt unnatural.

"You do know that we have to take one of your mortal inventions into the air to get to the Brísingamen, correct?"

My lip pulled up, "Of course I know that!"

"So what are you going to do when we are on it? Are we going to make you go unconscious and drag you on there?"

To be honest, I hadn't even thought about it. I was hoping that we would never get that far… and when we learned that I was going to have to do it, I just… never thought about it. Dying from a plane crash sounded better than death by a necklace. Death by necklace sounded almost like a shopaholic's daydream.

"Drug me. I was going to see if Bill had Ambien or something… maybe even Nyquil—just to knock me out. Parents do that kids all the time."

Loki raised his eyebrows at the names but didn't say anything. I tried not to think about the height… or the fact that I was on a carnival ride that was able to fold up and probably have a few loose screws on it. When the car stopped, a little below the top, I said, "Why are you all the way over there? Don't you want to come sit next to me?" I tried to smirk but I think my nerves got in the way of that.

"Would that subdue you?"

"Maybe… I mean it doesn't have to." I wanted to add with a sneer if it was bad that I wanted to be close to him but decided against it, noticing how he was scooting over in the cart. I was waiting for the weight to affect it but thankfully it didn't. His arm went around my shoulders and I closed my eyes feeling his nose rub into my hair. I smiled a bit when his lips pressed against my forehead.

"How's that?" He asked. All I could do was nod before turning into him and meeting his lips for a split second. "Good."

I barely felt our car move up and stop at the top, paying attention to him at the moment. My lips were lingering close to his, waiting for another kiss whether it was to be tender or deep. But then I felt his head turn forward, my mouth falling into his hair. I kept my head there anyway since it actually smelled pretty good. "Why don't you look?"

My answer was immediate. "I don't want to."

"It'll be well worth it, my elskan, trust me." Trusting the God of Lies had gotten me so far in life, hadn't it? But, the way he spoke, how soft and how careful his tone was, it made me shyly turn my head forward, my eyes squinting as the sun hit them with little care. "I do not know how you could really be afraid of something that is so beautiful." His hand was holding my hand, with his fingers flexing in between my own before folding them together. He turned his head into mine, letting it fall on top of it. Loki's eyes weren't on the scenery.

I squeezed his hand tighter, feeling calm as we were on the top of the Ferris wheel. My head tilted up, feeling his lips fall underneath my jaw. "I'm not while you're around me."

"I can see that," Loki said, moving away from me. "And hopefully you never will be."

I gulped loudly, looking directly in his eyes. His hand was tangled in my hair and I felt my head lean into it. There was something in his eyes that told me that there was something off. I could have remained silent about it but I didn't know what was he really seeing. Loki blinked several times like there was something off about my own, and he turned his head, looking down. "What's the matter, Loki?"

He closed his eyes for a moment. I felt my face fall in concern before he turned back to me. There was something wrong, I didn't know what, but I knew there was definitely something not right. However, he shook his head at me, bringing up what looked to me a fake smile. "There's nothing wrong."

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I questioned him. He was looking at me now as if I had ten heads, ten different heads.

With little wait, he put his hand on my forehead, using his thumb to brush it. "You have a blemish up here that is just off-putting," the response made me gawk. I watched his face light up as he chuckled and before I was able to protest that, he hushed me. I didn't see a zit there that morning. But, to let you all know, later on that day, when I looked into the mirror to see if he was right, I saw it, plain as day. It must have appeared after I looked in the mirror that happens sometimes, doesn't it?

He ended up smirking at me, "Do not worry yourself about it. Let's enjoy our last day here, shall we?" I nodded my head slowly to him, confused. Just then, I suddenly realized that the Ferris wheel was moving, and it had been moving for a while.

My mouth turned up into a scowl. My fake showed the zit so clearly, red and big, right in the middle of my forehead… half of me wished that licenses weren't in color. Loki's pictured looked absolutely perfect, glowing even. With the little bit of magic that he had, he probably made himself look radiant. On that morning we dragged ourselves over to Vince's, his hair was all over the place like he just rolled out of bed. Here, it was slicked back, and shined like the sun was hitting it at just the right angle.

It was ridiculous. He looked like a King. I looked like shit.

"You don't like my work?" Vince asked me. I pursed my lips, glancing up, putting the IDs and passports in my purse.

"It'll do."

"Alright then, Mrs. Janice Wright." Janice… you couldn't have given me a better name? "I recommend looking up your cross street just in case they give you trouble. They're such assholes sometimes. You really can't catch a break nowadays."

He had no idea about catching breaks. I never seemed to catch one… ever. I doubted my worse problem at the airport would be where my fake cross street was. "Yes, because illegally going to a different country should be given a break." If I spent years in a federal prison, it might do me good. I wouldn't be in the position that I'm presently in now.

He laughed at that though, "That's what you're doing, ain't it? Now, if you don't mind me asking, why would a pretty thing like you need to, Lex?" He leaned back against his countertop. "I think you'd be fine in the states for a bit, if ya only killed someone… as far as I know, they think you're in Illinois still."

Why was he so curious?

I smirked back at him, "If I told you, I think I'd have to kill you." The smirk stayed, making him think I was kidding but I wasn't. I killed someone close to me, and that was awful. But him, Vince would have probably been a step back from what I just did. Of course, I honestly think Vince could take me out easily. So the idea of me doing it and succeeding was not really possible.

"If you say so, baby." Baby… oh, killing him sounded very nice. "Take care of those, will ya? I won't ask ya where or how you got this money." He walked away from me then, making slow steps toward the door. I followed.

"How nice of you."

"I don't really like knowing how my customers got it."

"Is that supposed to help you forget what you do? You could be aiding a terrorist." That comment made him release a heavy sigh as he opened the door for me. I think I was here for too long. How his body stiffened, how his jaw locked as if he was in thought, he thought about that before.

I gave him a slight smile before telling the kid, "We're not bad people. We do what we have to do to survive." I extended my hand toward him. I didn't like him, but I understood him. Cons and hustlers usually get on great when they weren't taking each other's money. He reluctantly took my hand. "Take care of yourself."

"I already do."

"No, you don't," I let go of his hand and dropped my new IDs and passports in my purse before leaving.

"You lied to me the other day, didn't ya?" He asked me before I walked out of his apartment. I turned to face him. I must have looked confused because he actually elaborated for me. "That guy you're skipping the country with, you do love him. Your friend. You would rather his life over yours. I think you were just saying that to make yourself seem like a bitch."

"What makes you think that?"

"I can fish out liars just as well as you could—that's all," Vince stated. I stood in the doorway, staring at him almost with no expression on my face. My smirk transferred to his lips. "See ya, Lex."

His hand was curled around the edge of the door, and I took a step back—still staring at him. He could have figured that out a while ago—I could have been the worst liar in the world when I said I'd rather my life than Loki's… or whatever his fucking name was on the fake. He could have answered my question, too, with a lie. His apartment did not look like it was shared with a girl come to think of it—no matter how neat it was.

The door closed, I couldn't express anything other than skepticism for him to just glance at. Sooner or later, whether Vince was single or not was none of my concern.

Since Loki and I were plastered on the Jersey news once the Chicago police found that we both skipped town.

Where Vince's apartment was, there was a diner next door to it. I watched the news from outside the window, presenting the diner's desserts.

Loki was not identified as of yet, but if you were a SHIELD agent you would know who you were looking at. They found the security tape of us in front of Payless, right by my corner. The moment where Loki held me up against the store window by my throat. They were able to zoom in, and even through the pixels they were able to sketch him out. That moment was on replay, and it was still a moment I wanted to forget.

I watched television shows. I watched Law & Order, CSI, NCIS, every once in a while. We were no longer State police material. We were Federal material. They might have not known where we had gone, but they knew that we were, and people were watching… and right at that moment, I still looked like me.

I still looked like me.

I was exposed. It was on the news, right in front of me. My chest tightened, my hands were already trembling with my fingers twisting the bottom of my shirt. No one was on the streets, but I still felt like someone was watching me. It was too early in the morning to be around people. But, trust me, I never walked faster to my car after a quick look around.

I was out the whole day. I drove everywhere to avoid going back to Bill's, and I didn't want to face Loki like this. I was distraught, very distraught… because I knew what that meant—probably tomorrow, or the day after that, or the one after that one, I was definitely not going to be here any more. So… I drove, all day, before it was just getting dark out and I decided to drive back to Bill's.

But… I found a phone on the way back to Bill's. That made me not go back. I wanted to call someone, anyone, I wanted to hear a voice that wasn't Loki's or Bill's, or Lorelei's even. Once that story had hit, I knew that we were going to Iceland, I said I was ready, but now it was definite—and I wasn't, it was too real. I drove to the playground my father used to take me, where my sister played, where I played with my friends.

I remember one time, me and Backstreet, you know Joe, we sat underneath the slide all the time—all the time when we were teenagers and actually liked each other as more than friends. Well, the sun ended up going away. It was night by the time I got to the playground—I knew Loki and Bill must have been freaking out (and they were), but I didn't care. It didn't matter.

I did buy a twelve pack of beer that night. You weren't allowed to drink in the park, but as I said, it was dark, there were no kids, and the cops weren't going to pay attention to me. My scarf was tighter than usual, protecting my neck from the wind, and I secured a nice blonde wig on my head. I was also underneath a slide.

I stared at that phone so long—drinking and staring. Then I remembered his number and I dialed it.

It was a dumb thing to do. You know when you're drunk and you just do dumb things… this was just a dumb thing to do. And you must be wondering why in the hell I was even calling him… when you're drunk you just do stupid things.

"I need ta know," I started once I heard his voice utter a questionable hello. I took a swig out of my beer before going on and leaning my head back against the slide. "Who was betta, Backstreets? Me or big tits?"

"Alex? Is this you?"

"Who was betta, me or big tits? It's been eatin at me, n I ain't gonna be round any more, n I don't wanna die somewhere without knowing if I was betta than big tits."

"Where are you, Alex? Are you alright?"

"I'm fines."

"Lex, you're not, what are you doing right now?"

"Sittin."

"Sitting? Are you okay? You are all over the news and—!"

"Joe," my drunkenness was taking over me. I was leaning forward underneath the slide and imagining him like he was in front of me. Blonde hair and tall and all, sitting cross-legged like I was. I imagined him with a furrowed brow, confused, concerned. I don't know why I called him—I didn't feel the same way as I did when I was younger, I have let that one go a few weeks ago when we left Chicago—barely had given him a thought. But… I wanted to hear his voice, his voice, Quinn's voice (I couldn't believe that I haven't spared her a thought!), and… Vic's. I don't know what was eating at me more, the fact that I think they think that I'm a horrible human being for murdering Ty or that they think I'm dead already, or that they would think of me as a shitty person in general.

Sober me wouldn't have thought of them. Maybe that was why I hadn't drank anything in a while. "I gotta tell ya. I did it. I killed him, but ya don't understand what happened. It was dark, there was anotha guy, and that guy was tryna kick the shit outta me and I was just trying to defend myself. Ty got in the way of it, and if he hadn't helped me, I could be dead right now, but I was so out of it, babe, so out of it, I didn't know, I swear, I didn't know what had come over—."

"Alex, where are you?"

I just went on without even hearing him. "I had to tell you, I don't want ya thinkin that I'm cold blooded. I didn't do it like that. I stayed with him till he died, I stayed with him, and you know what? I wanted ta help him live, I really did, I offered to take him to the hospital and everything but he didn't want me to. Joe, that was my friend, that was my friend, I'd never—"

"I know you wouldn't, just tell me where you are." His tone was different now, like honey, sweet. But it didn't work on me. I knew he couldn't come get me.

"No, I can't. You'd turn me in."

"Are you drunk right now?"

"No," I stated as I took a long sip from my beer. No, I was not sober. I don't know why I was trying to tell him otherwise because other than Loki, I think Joe knew me better in times like these. Actually, I think Joe knew me the best in times like these. "You'd turn me in, Backstreet, I know you would. I was shitty to you, so I know you would."

"You're in Jersey, I know you are. The area code on the phone was Jersey, just tell me where you are and I'll pick you up. We'll talk about it in the morning."

I didn't reply to him.

I was crying. Loudly. I was crying into the phone loudly, my sobs making my whole body quake; it was all happening way too suddenly. Suddenly, I just didn't want to go to Loki and Bill and face Iceland—I was ready a few days ago but now it was coming down to it—coming down to the wire. I didn't even know if they knew yet about the news story, but I assumed they did. It was breaking, Loki watched the news like a hawk, and Bill made him watch the news like a hawk. Iceland. Iceland. Iceland. I was going to Iceland, I was going to die, and a day ago I was just okay with only ever hearing Loki's voice for the rest of my life, now I wasn't. I could never say goodbye, I could never say goodbyes to people who didn't know it was a goodbye. I wanted to call everyone. After Joe, I was probably going to call Quinn, after Quinn, my mother, after my mother, my sister. They were all going to get a drunk call from me. I was not okay with this any more, I probably wasn't okay with this a few days ago, and it just all came to surface now.

What happened Alex? You were ready a few days ago. You said to Loki that no matter what, you were ready. And look at you right now, you are sobbing to your ex-boyfriend who doesn't even know what you're sobbing about and you're making yourself sound like an idiot. What happened to the Alex that was too quick in searching for a way to get to Iceland, huh? Where did she go? That was the Alex that I needed at that moment, not this coward.

But, like I said, when it all came down to the wire, your mind changes. A coward's mind changes, and I was a coward. It didn't matter how accepting I was a few days ago, or even just that morning. It no longer mattered.

"You're my best friend still, Alex. You know, I would never do that."

"You're a liar," I muttered into the phone, now scrunching my face so tightly that it was almost painful. "You're a liar."

"Alex, let me come and get you, please. You don't even have to tell me anything—."

"I just wanna go home, Joe… I wanna go home. But I can't, I can't go home, I can't. I'm in such deep shit, Backstreet—"

"Tell me where you are," Joe's voice took on a tone that I hadn't heard in a while—it sounded frustrated and concerned.

"I can't do that, I can't."

"You need help and I can—.

The phone flew out of my hand with a force that came from nowhere. I was drunk, confused, and crying. Sobbing, actually, with my sobs only just pausing to take in the fact that my phone flew out of my hand and broke itself against one of the supports of the jungle gym. "You disgusting mortal," someone snarled at me. My frown couldn't have turned into a snarl fast enough when I felt Lorelei grasp my shoulder tightly in her hand (and when I say tight, it was tight), and pull me out from underneath the slide. "This is what you do now? You wallow in your grief when you have a bargain to uphold?"

"I've no bargain," I tried to not wipe at the tears because I knew I would be mocked once I would even lift up my hand. "That bargain's been cancelled out a while ago, you ass."

Lorelei gritted her teeth, "Come on, you foolish quim. I do not have the time for this, or the patience." I tried loosening my shoulder from her grip, but she didn't let go of me.

"No, I'm not lettin ya take me." I tried harder but she still wasn't budging. I guess that happens when you go up against a goddess' hold. They are more stubborn than a drunk. "I'm not going to Iceland, I'd rather kill myself before going to Iceland. I'm not gonna play this game any more."

"Alexandra, you fool, you do not have a choice."

"Says my executenor."

"It's pronounced executioner, my dear. And you are calling the wrong Asgardian that."

"Yeah, whatever, he's not as much a jerk as you."

"My little dove," she started to me, closing her eyes for a moment. Suddenly, her touch actually soothe me. I watched her carefully as my shoulders began to loosen, my eyes glanced down to those pursed and plump lips that she had, and maybe because I had a few and because I was always attracted to both males and females while under the influence, her spell managed to work on me. I was gonna do whatever this bitch said—even if I didn't want to. Her voice almost sounded sweet to my corrupted ear, "You will go, and you will not fight it."

Before I knew it, she moved us to Bill's house, which was far away from the playground, far away from where I used to play, far away from the hiding place, underneath the slide. She left me before I reached the door. Luckily, I had my purse with me with the fakes; unfortunately I wasn't able to bring that pack of beer with me. When I got to Bill's door, I didn't open it for myself. My head banged against it and I felt the wind brush harshly against the dried up tears on my cheeks.

The head banging caught Loki and Bill's attention though when I did it repeatedly. Loki opened the door while my head was in mid bang and I almost collapsed into him. "Hey man," I said to him, looking up at him lazily. The disappointment was clear in his eyes. But I didn't care. I walked through the door, took my purse, threw it to the side and bowed to Bill who was sitting in front of the couch.

Loki didn't give me a hello. "Where have you been?"

I chuckled, "No where."

"You're drunk right now."

"Of course, I'm drunk right now. I've never been drunker. I've only had like four beers." I held up five fingers though. In truth, I might have drank six, I don't really remember though. Those boring facts slip your mind. "I was celebrating Iceland, ya know, cuz… Iceland."

"I think we should get you to bed," Loki said quickly, not responding to what I said. He gripped at my arm as Bill closed the door behind him. I didn't fight him, not like I did with Lorelei—Lorelei's words affected me greatly because if she hadn't said them, I would be looking to fight him at that moment.

"I want my beers."

"You are not drinking."

"Ever again, I know." I said to him, nodding my head grimly. "Not… not ever again." I don't remember how we really ended up in the guest room, walking through the hallway was still such a blur, but I do remember being pushed on my shoulders by him to sit on the bed. "I promise, not ever again."

"Yes, not ever again." He sounded so disinterested in me at that moment. I laid on top of the bed, over the covers and the duvet, and looked up at him with my lazy smile that I would usually get drunk. "Our flight tomorrow is in the evening."

"That's what I wanna hear!"

"Yes… now, if you excuse me, I have to confirm some details with Willia—."

His hand was slipping off of my knee, which I only just faintly felt land, and before he left me, I gripped it, "No… baby, stay with me right now. I want you." I gripped his hand tighter than I originally wanted to. He glanced down at them both as I placed them on top of my thigh. He was still standing up though like he wanted to still leave me here. "I need you, Loki… please?"

"You need to get some sleep, Alexandra. I am not one to play along with your—."

My smile fell off immediately and I shook my head, "No, I don't want you like that. I'm just… I want you here with me." He blinked several times at me, gazed at me before glancing down at our hands. I felt my face harden up, gripping his hand with a grip that meant that I was not going to let him leave this room. "Tomorrow's Iceland… and I dunno if I'm ready for Iceland."

He had no response for that. Loki's cheeks were sucked in, making his sharp cheekbones more prominent like he was in some deep contemplation. He made himself sit just at the edge of the bed but it was only to make a quick exit. "I have to confirm details with William—I will be back."

"No, I don't want you to—."

"I must," Loki told me firmly. I loosened my grip then. Do not fight; the you do as you're told mentality came back. My hand slipped from his and my head fell against the pillow. I was too out of it to really be mad. Which was surprising, since that meant that my tolerance was not as high as I thought it was. Well, like I said, I don't really know how much out of that pack I drank. I mouthed to him, 'Stay' still before he had gotten up, still looking down at me—maybe there was a little regret in his eyes as he was doing so. "Alexandra…" it was a warning. I knew that tone of voice all too well.

My mouth remained closed immediately as he stood up, my eyes were trained on him as he was retreating back to the living room. I was staring at him in hopes that he would feel bad and come back to me. But, this was Loki we were talking about. There were certain things that he did that he would continue doing even if he loved you or something. He did love me, right?

Although, he did stop at the door, which he probably wouldn't have done normally, if he didn't love me or something. He locked eyes with me for a while, not saying a word—and I waited for a word to leave his mouth, trust me. It would have had to have been a minute or two before he said to me, "I know I cannot help you like you want me to, Alexandra."

It was a strange statement. Sober me would have asked him why he would even say something like that. But, I only nodded in agreement. He couldn't help me; this was like a Ferris wheel… one that I actually was not going to come back from.

Iceland… we were going to Iceland the next day, in the evening. Before Loki left the room, I uttered to him, "I know."

He left without shutting out the lights, which meant that he was going to come back not too long after he left. I, however, did not stick around for that. I passed out.

Ten chapters left! Definitely this time, haha. Because last time I said, ten chapters when really I am an English major, therefore, I cannot do math and count correctly. See you next chapter! And I will definitely not take almost a year in updating this, pinky swear.

Review replies:

Jo: Awe, you are too sweet! Thank you so much, and I'm glad you enjoyed it, and that you made a blood oath to read the sequel as well. I hope you came back for this chapter and will see you at the others! And you're right, it would be really funny to watch Loki and Alex raise children, don't know if that's gonna happen (;]) but we'll see. Hope you enjoyed the chapter!

Tatum: No, you wouldn't be annoying me at all! I love reading what people think :). Thank you for leaving one, and I'm happy you enjoy the story thus far, and I hope you enjoyed the new chapter! Thank you for being there from the beginning, and being there for every chapter!

Jem Fukuyama: I think you do have an account, but the review I'm looking at is a guest, nevertheless thank you for reviewing many of the chapters along the way. Hope you enjoyed the new chapter!

Ria: Aw, thank you! Alex is definitely imperfect, you are right, but I'm happy you find her so likable. Thank you for reading and reviewing, and I hope you enjoyed the new chapter!