CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

CORRI

The next day, Nicky was admitted into the psych ward. Corri and Randy were there to help him get settled. "Don't you want to come, Keith?" Corri asked.

"I don't think he wants to see me," Keith said, staring at the ground.

"Honey, what's wrong?"

"He just made it clear yesterday he doesn't want me around… I don't want to make this harder on him, Mom."

"Okay... We'll keep you updated."

"Thanks. I'll head back to the hotel with Molly and Dean."

After that, Corri stood by Randy's side, watching as Nicky was moved, and then as settled into his new room. She forced herself to stay calm, praying Nicky would be alright somehow.

A phone call to Paul had ensured Nicky would be treated by the best doctors available. He'd even made sure that Nicky's family was allowed to visit as long as Nicky wanted to see them. He covered the cost of Nicky's treatment and promised Corri he'd help in whatever way he could. Paul might be on leave from WWE, but he hadn't abandoned the Casey twins. This meant more to Corri than she wanted to admit. They'd had a complicated relationship with Paul for years, but he was family.

An hour into his stay in his new room, Nicky looked at Corri and said, "Mom… Can you tell Keith I'm sorry?"

"For what, Baby?" Corri asked.

"I… I said some things… I think I really hurt him, Mom. I didn't mean to, but… But I did mean to. I don't know why I did it, but I did, and I… I have to fix it because he's going to hate me…" Nicky started to cry.

"I think you both should leave now," the doctor said.

"No! Please, not yet," Nicky said. "I'm okay." He took several deep breaths.

"Keith doesn't hate you, Baby," Corri promised. "He thinks you're upset with him, though."

"I'm not… I don't think I am, anyway… I just… Please, Mom. Please tell him."

"I will. I promise."

"Is Alanna mad?"

Randy looked away. "I… um… I sort of may not have told her yet. She had just gotten on a plane to go home when this happened," he said.

"Dad, she's going to freak out on you!"

"I agreed with him that it was better," Corri said. "We wanted to have all of the details before we told her what happened. Alanna loves you very much, Nicky."

"I know… That's why I'm sure she'll hate me."

"No she won't," Randy said. "She'll probably be mad at me for not telling her right away, but she won't hate you, Nicky."

Nicky paused. More tears formed in his eyes as he asked, "Do you?"

"What? Of course not. You're my son. I love you, Nicky."

"I tried to kill myself. I quit. I'm an Orton. We don't quit."

"Ortons break more often than you think. That includes me. It's okay, Nicky. You survived. That's what matters. Now you can get the help you need."

Nicky looked to Corri. "Mom? Are you mad at me?"

"Oh, Baby… No. No, I'm not mad…" Corri said. She looked at Randy as she continued, "We're all damaged, Baby. Every last one of us is fucked-up and broken, but you know what? We try our hardest to find someone with enough krazy glue to piece us back together, because that's what life is about. We find the people who help us heal, and we come back stronger." It was the exact thing Randy had said to her before she quit WWE to escape getting fired for a wellness policy violation. She'd had her biggest nervous breakdown, she was out of control with the drugs, and she had not only hit him, but wrongly accused him of trying to get her fired. Randy had begged her to stay and get help, and these had been the words he'd said to her. They stuck in her mind, even after all these years, because she thought they were among the last words he'd ever say to her. The speech was oddly comforting to her now, and she hoped it would comfort Nicky to know he was not alone in being messed up in the head.

Nicky hugged her. "You… You guys should… probably… go," Nicky forced himself to say.

"We can stay as long as you need, Nicky," Randy said.

"If you don't go now, I won't let you leave."

Randy nodded. "If that's what you need…" He hugged him. "You will get better, Nicky. I know you will."

"I'm sorry, Dad… I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Mom…" Nicky hugged her again. "I love you. Please forgive me for being so stupid."

"You weren't stupid. You were hurting. I've done worse things when I was hurting. It's okay," Corri told him. "I love you so much, Baby."

"I know you do."

With that, they left. Corri started crying when they were finally out of the hospital. Randy held her until she was calmer. "Come with me today?" She asked him.

"Of course I will," Randy said.

Corri was going to the best rehab center in Florida. She knew the staff. She'd gone to meetings there. She'd sent countless wrestlers who needed help there. Now, she was about to talk to them about something she'd never wanted to discuss again.

"I'm here to be evaluated," Corri informed the nurse at the front desk. "Brett's expecting me."

The nurse led Corri and Randy into the back. Brett, one of the staff, smiled when he saw her. "Relax, Corri," he said. "We're just here to talk."

"I think I need to go in-patient," Corri blurted out.

Brett looked very concerned. "Have you slipped up with your sobriety?"

"No… Not yet, anyway. But it's bad, Brett."

"How bad?"

"You know about the shooting. You also know, thanks to meetings, that I feel responsible for that."

"As I told you before, you're not responsible for the actions of that boy."

"But I feel that way… And I was starting to feel better, but…" Corri sighed. "I can't. Randy, tell him?"

Brett looked at Randy. "Go on," he said. "I assume if she won't talk about it, it's very bad."

"Our youngest son… Nicky…" Randy took a deep breath and switched on his controlled, militant personality. "He tried to kill himself."

"Oh, Corri… I'm so sorry!" Brett said. "Is he alright?"

"He's being treated in a psych ward," Corri said. "But I had to leave him… And I hate that… I know he needs help, but I feel like I screwed him up."

"Corri, this is tragic, but it's not your fault."

"I'm ready to slip up, Brett. I'm ten seconds away."

"But you didn't. You came here instead."

"Well, yeah, but-"

"That's huge, Corri! Before, you would have given in and had no regrets, but you didn't. You tried to get help instead. That's how I know you're going to be okay."

"I'm glad one of us thinks so."

"You have an amazing support system, and you have your own determination pushing you. You won't slip up, Corri, because you decided not to."

"So?"

"You don't need to go in-patient, Corri. You need to seek treatment, absolutely. I recommend being part of our day program. You spend all day here, but you get to go home every night to your family. It's our halfway program, and you're more than capable of beating this using that."

"I… You think I can manage with just day treatment?"

"I absolutely do."

Corri let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. The idea of going in-patient, of not being able to see Nicky or Cayla when they needed her had hurt. What hurt even worse was the idea of being away from Randy like that. She needed him more now than ever.

"What do we need to do?" Randy asked.

"Just let me get the paperwork and we'll set you up with a schedule. You're going through a lot, Corri. Anyone would be tempted to slip up, but I promise you, you're going to be alright," Brett said.

You're going to be alright, Corri repeated to herself. She continued to do this as Randy handled the paperwork, reciting the words like a mantra. If she said it enough times, she might just believe it.

SARAYA

She was going down her list slowly. The first person she called was Kristy. "Hullo, Luv, it's Saraya," she greeted her.

"Hey!" Kristy said cheerfully. "What's up?"

"Well, little prodigy, I have an offer for you."

"Is it a show? The answer's yes, wherever it is!"

Saraya chuckled. "What if you're already booked somewhere else?"

"Shows with you are way more fun than ones without you."

"Well, this is more of a steady booking, Luv."

"Steady? Great. Which promotion? Is it in the US? My mom will flip if I go out of the country for too long."

"Yes, Luv, it's based in the States… And I'm sure you'll be eager to say yes."

"So what's the gig, Saraya? The anticipation's killing me."

"You're eighteen, right?"

"Yep. Been training for two years because I insisted Mom let me, but yes, I'm still only eighteen."

"That's old enough." Saraya smiled. "How would you feel about coming to Florida for a while?"

"Warm weather? Some of the best wrestling in the country? Sure!"

"At NXT."

Kristy let out a sound of surprise. "What?" She asked.

"I just took over for a bit… I understand if you don't feel comfortable, given what's happened recently, but-"

"Are you kidding? It's NXT! It's WWE! That's the dream! Of course I'll do it!"

"I thought you'd say that. When can you start?"

"I'm free as soon as you need me."

"I'll book you a flight as soon as possible and send you the info."

"This is so cool!" Kristy gushed. Saraya could envision her bouncing up and down in excitement. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"You earned it, Luv. You're amazing. I'll see you soon." She hung up and moved on to the rest of her list.

A groggy voice answered the phone with a groan of, "Sup?"

"Oh, come on, Scotty-Boy! It's got to be at least two o'clock in the afternoon in Chicago!" Saraya said cheerfully.

"I needed a nap," Scotty replied.

"Slacker."

"Totally."

"Listen, Scotty, I need your help."

"At your service, M'Lady," he replied grandly.

"Oh, sure, now you reply!" She laughed. "Do you even know who this is?"

"No, but you sound hot."

"It's Saraya, you nutter! Your mum would smack you for flirting with me."

He laughed. "What do you need, Saraya?"

"I need you and Twin Two to come to Florida for a bit."

"For?"

"Wrestling."

"Duh. But where?"

"NXT…" She hoped this wouldn't result in her being hung up on.

"Wait… As in WWE? You want us to come to WWE?"

"Yep."

"You're nuts."

"I've been called worse."

"Triple H and Stephanie can't be okay with this."

"What they don't know won't hurt me. Besides, you're legacies! This is your birthright!"

Scotty laughed. "Mom and Dad might not see it that way… But I'm in… I mean, if Toby is."

"Great! Let me know and I'll send you tickets." She hung up and hoped she wouldn't get in too much trouble for recruiting those two. The twin sons of two people who'd made headlines when they walked away from the company over two decades earlier might not exactly have had an open invitation under normal circumstances, but they were bloody good, and she was in charge now. Besides, April was still one of her best mates, and although Phil had turned his back on the wrestling business, their sons loved it. They should have every opportunity in the world to pursue their passion no matter who their parents were.

You're going to be in major trouble for this, she told herself, but she didn't really care. She was known for breaking rules. Stephanie should have expected something like this. Besides, when they saw the boys perform, they'd thank her… She hoped.

NICKY

He'd had more visitors after his parents left. Matt and Nick had come to see him. It was the first time they'd seen him since he tried to kill himself, and they both looked terrified.

"Are you okay?" Matt asked.

"I guess," Nicky said. What else was he supposed to say?

"You kind of, um… Well, you stopped paying attention to our lessons, huh?" Nick asked.

"I didn't… I just…" Nicky sighed. "I was under a lot of pressure and I gave in. I'm sorry. I know you're disappointed."

"None of that!" Matt said. "We're concerned, not disappointed. People make mistakes, Nicky. It's okay. Just make better choices next time. We're here for you."

"I thought you'd disown me."

"Never, Kiddo," Nick said. "You're our Godson. We take that seriously."

"We love you, Nicky," Matt said.

"What he said."

Nicky leaned on his Godfathers and took comfort in the fact that they were still there for him. He'd thought they would abandon him for going against everything they believed in. It was good to know he hadn't lost them because of his issues.

"We're going to head out," Nick finally said. "Is there anyone you want to see? There's still a few people in the waiting room… Ginny. Gabe. Lucas."

"Lucas is here?" Nicky was startled.

"Yeah. He seems very worried about you," Matt said.

"I… You can send him in."

"You sure you don't want us to ask Molly to come back?" Nick asked in surprise.

"Yeah. I can't face her yet… I need time."

"Okay. We'll send him in…"

They left. A few minutes later, Lucas walked in. He offered Nicky a sad smile. "How are you feeling, Nicky?" He asked.

"Like I tried to kill myself," Nicky said. He sighed and patted the bed for Lucas to come sit with him. "I'm sorry. I know I upset everyone."

"We're just worried… We could have lost you, Nicky. And none of us want to lose you."

"I just snapped."

"I know. It's okay."

"Why are you here, Lucas?"

"Well… I heard what happened, and I was worried… I mean… I'm sorry. I know I'm not family. Maybe I shouldn't have stayed-"

"No, it's okay. I like that you're here… I feel like I can talk to you."

"You can, Nicky. Anytime, about anything. I mean that."

"Thanks… I don't understand why you're being so nice to me."

"Because you're my friend. That's what friends do."

Nicky leaned against him. "I don't even know what to do from here," he admitted.

"Just take it one day at a time, Nicky. They'll take care of you here."

"I didn't mean for it to go this far…"

"I believe you. You're going to get well, Nicky."

"I don't know if that's possible."

"It is. You just have to be willing to let someone help you."

"I…" Nicky closed his eyes and refused to look at Lucas as he whispered, "I'm scared."

"Hey… It's okay to be scared," Lucas said gently. "You're going through a lot. You're sick, Nicky, but you can get better. And I'm here for you."

"I appreciate that, but visitors can only come during certain times of day, and you have to work…"

"I do, but there are other options…" He paused. "I was told you're allowed to have your phone. If you need me, Face Time me. I don't care what time it is. Talk to me."

Nicky was surprised by the offer. "You'd do that for me?"

"I like talking to you. Why wouldn't I?"

For the first time in what felt like ten centuries, Nicky smiled. "Thank you. For giving me hope that this whole experience might not completely suck."

Lucas smiled back. "I'm happy to help."

After he left, Nicky sat down with his assigned therapist. The man was kind and patient, but Nicky was nervous about talking to him. He started talking quickly, too quickly to keep up with. After nearly two hours of this, the therapist did more than just steer the conversation as best he could.

"Nicky, I had a talk with your parents before our session today," he said. "Apparently, someone brought it to their attention that some of your symptoms are very common in patients with bipolar disorder. After speaking with you for quite some time, and observing your mood shifts… I am inclined to agree. In fact, not only do I think you may be bipolar, but I am confident you have rapid cyclic bipolar disorder."

"What does that mean?"

"It means you cycle between mania and depression quickly. Your mood doesn't stabilize."

"So I'm crazy?" Nicky's chest hurt.

"No, Nicky. Not at all." The therapist paused. "Bipolar disorder is really hard to cope with. Untreated, it can become very debilitating."

"Does that mean I have to stay here?"

"Not forever, Nicky. Just until we get your moods stable. We need to put you on medication."

Terror seized him at the idea of having to go through withdrawal again. "No. Not again… Please… No meds."

"These medications aren't addictive. I'm going to be very careful what I prescribe for you. We'll start slow, with low doses, and you will have the medications monitored strictly by our staff. You can't abuse it if it's not in your possession."

"Is there any other way?"

"Unfortunately, the best treatment for bipolar disorder is medication. It's a purely chemical disorder. You need the medication to stabilize an imbalance."

"God… I'm a freak."

"You're not a freak. There's no reason to be ashamed of this, Nicky. A lot of people have depressive disorders. It's something we can take care of. You can get better."

"Are you sure?"

"I've treated plenty of people with bipolar disorder before, Nicky. Once they find the right medication, they do very well and live perfectly normal lives."

"Everyone's going to know…"

"No one will know unless you tell them. We'll just take this one step at a time, Nicky, alright? Don't worry about the end game yet. Just worry about getting through right now."

Nicky nodded. Maybe he could do this. This diagnosis made more sense than the ADHD one had, and at least this doctor had bothered to talk to him before just blurting out the first diagnosis he thought of. Nicky tried to convince himself that everything would work out, but it was difficult to believe that.

"Okay," he said. "Fix me. I want to be okay, and I have no idea how to do that, so fix me."

The doctor smiled. "That's exactly what I'm going to try to do. It's going to take time, Nicky. Maybe a couple of weeks, maybe longer, but it will be worth it. Let's get started…"

KEITH

He was making out with Molly when his text message alert went off. It was Nicky's ring. Keith froze. He pulled away from Molly carefully before pulling out his phone.

"Is it Nicky?" Molly asked.

"Yeah…" He looked at the message. I know I suck and you probably hate me now but please forgive me. I didn't mean what I said.

It's fine, Keith sent back quickly.

It's not. I was being an ass. Got a diagnosis.

Curiosity got the better of Keith. What was it?

Bipolar, rapid cycling between depressed, pissed, and just bat-shit crazy.

"Lucas was right," Keith told Molly. "They told him he's bipolar."

"I had a feeling he was," Molly said. She looked over his shoulder as he texted his brother.

Are you okay?

Nope. But they say I will be. Eventually.

I love you bro. I'm sorry about everything.

Don't. I'm the one who's sorry. I love you, too.

Keith was relieved his brother had been diagnosed. He was also happy Nicky had reached out. It meant he didn't hate him. He needed to know that right now.

"Are you okay?" Molly asked Keith.

"I am now," Keith said.

"Good." She returned to kissing him, and knowing Nicky was getting treated by doctors who actually seemed to know what they were doing, Keith relaxed. Soon, he lost himself in Molly, forgetting everything else that was going on in the world. In that moment, all that mattered was Molly and how her lips felt against his and how her body felt as he touched her. He memorized every detail of her skin, and her face, and her hair, and the way she laughed as he caressed a tender spot. Right now, Molly was his world. Nothing else existed, and he was completely okay with that. As long as he had her, he had everything he needed.