Chapter 37
Reaching out and gently directing his gaze precisely on hers, Mary leant forward and whispered, "Shall I tell you a secret? You must promise never to say it to anyone but me. If word slipped out then things might not go well between you and John. Understand?"
Sherlock nodded solemnly, found her soft gaze after a moment of searching, and moved closer to her.
Mary drew him even closer and cupped her hands around his ear whispering so softly Sherlock had to focus hard to hear clearly.
Abruptly breaking their close embrace, the stunned one found it hard to comprehend her words.
I know what she said and the meaning of the words, but why? Why would she tell me something like that? Yes, I appreciate knowing. It's just a strange behaviour to understand, especially coming from John.
"Why?"was all Sherlock could come with to say aloud.
"Think. It's not hard," she pushed carefully, "John does it occasionally for a reason. In truth, I would be lying if I said he was the only who tried it out at times."
She placed his head on her left shoulder, then held him snugly whilst recalling an event she found her husband doing one day coming from work...It was exactly ten steps from the front door to the banister and fourteen steps up that led into his previous flat- 221B. If John kept walking he would need to take three small right turning steps which put him at the base of the flight leading to his current flat of 221C.
John counted.
John walked with his eyes closed around their flat sometimes trying to accomplish little tasks without look.
John didn't want to just imagine it, he wanted to know what it felt like too.
He wanted to show empathy.
His best friend is blind. He wanted to know beyond the obvious.
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Burying his head deeper into her shoulder, he wondered, Mary too? Why would it matter to her? My blindness has no affects to her at all. Between John and I, we have much to work on for sharpening our skills and deducing situation. However, Mary doesn't need to know how John 'sees' for me. She's not the one at crime scenes. Her place is here, amongst the friends and a pleasing flat with good things, not at crime scenes. Still, why would John act in such a way? He needs to perfect the way I once could read details, that requires his eyes to be of use-not closed.
"Remember, we promised to help you Sherlock, in every which way possible. I know it's not at all the same as what your experiences are, but it's something close. Gives us an idea of how might be for you in day-to-day affairs. Quite the eye-opener, pardon the pun, Sherlock. We are tying to understand the good, the bad, and the worst. No, it's definitely not a complete understanding, but we at least can begin to help you when you're concerns come up."
The depth of his friends' affinity didn't strike him until Mary whispered those weighted words. They were such ones that held an unimaginable amount of emotions: concern, burden, confusion, misplaced annoyance and anger...it affected him strongly.
Why would they choose to do such a thing? Did Molly copy their examples, Lestrade too? It is highly irrational and illogical of anyone to mimic it. Why refuse yourself something useful? I treasure what I still have. I understand what they've chosen to do, but I don't regard it as a disrespectful act, or a pretence of a fashionable show. Some who are blind perhaps may view it as mockery or an unhealthy obsession over the blind. Yes, it could appear that way to some, but I know that my friends' reasons are honourable... still it is a baffaling matter.
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Mary knew of her husband's behaviour, the one where he would randomly close his eyes and try his best to finish whatever task he was in the middle of.** Obviously, his best friend didn't have the option of using sight when his hands were at a loss of what to do.
So, with every effort John gave to a certain task only engrain deeper at how much effort Sherlock had expended to make any movement of his so graceful.
You make it look so effortless Sherlock, how?
It did appear effortless, but that only came after many mistakes. There were the times he clipped his leg against the table corners or walked into someone- most of time being John- due to his lack of sufficient periphery . Then there were the occasions when he mistakenly flung things across the room because his depth perception was all but non-existant. With the right eye weaker than the left, it made knowing how far he should extend his hand to grasp the tea quite challenging. It resulted in several spilt teas and a few shattered mugs.
There was no mistake in the doctors' diagnosis and prognosis, Sherlock could literally see those fateful words fulfill themselves every single day, "I'm very sorry Mr. Holmes, your eyesight is receding quickly and there is no cure or sugery for it. Please, you have my sincerest condolences, but know that it is only sight you will not have, many other things you will come to enjoy."
Despite his various mishapsll in all, Sherlock's grasp of freedom was increasing more and more. No longer did he insist on staying glued to his chair and resisting any offer of food or help. He challenged every obstacle, be in using the cane in public, or successfully eating a meal without half of it ending up anywhere but his mouth.
In steady steps Sherlock was slowly adjusting to a new lifestyle. So, together in secret, Mary and John would him the best they could, which included their empathetic actions.
"Thank you Mary," Sherlock finally said after remaining silent for so long. He smiled his rare smile for her, she in return planted a kiss on his forehead.
"For you, anything and everything. Now, come and have some sweets with John and Molly. I made a nice pie, it should be ready now.
A-N:** Refer to Chapter 16 " The Unexpected Package" of this story for understanding the Watsons' behaviour.
Many thanks to the one who reminded me they wanted to read some Mary-Sherlock interactions, more reminders are always welcomed. I had a good time writing this section.