Chapter 38- Purposeful Parenting Part 3
"So let's have a look see at your adorable little children!" said Gai as he picked up a clipboard and faced his students.
"What's with the clipboard?" Neji said suspiciously.
"We're taking notes on the state of your eggs." Kakashi explained as he and the other teachers whipped out their own clipboards as well.
"Well, I'd have to say that Lil Lee is the happiest, most content and well educated egg in the entire universe!" Lee shouted.
"I will write down your exact words!" Gai yelled back.
"My egg is um…okay." Said Tenten, holding her egg up and shrugging.
"Um…okay." Gai repeated as he wrote that down as well. "And Neji?"
"It's a goddamn egg." Said Neji.
"Goddamn egg!" Gai wrote down. "And what did you three do with your children?"
"First we hung around at Tenten's house letting them get acquainted and then, since they're all male, we took them to an arcade!" Lee answered.
"It was my idea!" said Tenten as if she were proud of it.
Inner Neji: Tenten is a stupid female.
"Well, that's fantastical." Said Gai as he turned to Kakashi. "Beat that, my eternal rival!"
"Students?" said Kakashi as he took his pencil out from behind his ear.
"Mine…broke…" Naruto confessed as he hung his head in shame.
"A casualty!" gasped everyone else as if they had previously decided that that was the reaction they would have in the event that someone broke their egg.
"It's all right, Naruto." Said Kakashi, patting Naruto on the head. "At least it wasn't your REAL child. What about you, Sasuke?"
"Well, even though I had three eggs, I managed not to break any of them, unlike someone else." Sasuke said as if it wasn't obvious that Naruto was the one who broke his egg.
"And how are your children feeling at this present moment?" Kakashi questioned.
Sasuke looked at Kakashi like he was an idiot.
"They're feeling fine." He said finally.
"MY daughter made friends with Sasuke's daughter!" Sakura announced.
"Did she?" Kakashi said, sounding almost like he was intrigued. But it was probably all just a show.
"Yes." Said Sakura. "And therefore, she is VERY happy!"
"Sakura has a very happy egg." Kakashi noted. "And what did you three do?"
"We went to the park." Sakura answered. "And Naruto failed to catch his daughter when she was going down the slide! That's why she broke!"
Naruto covered his face like he was about to burst into tears.
"HA!" laughed Gai. "I believe MY team has done better thus far, simply because all of THEIR eggs are still intact!"
"Naruto, you ruin EVERYTHING!" screamed Sakura as Naruto cowered in the corner in the fetal position.
"Let's avoid any further argumentation and move straight on to MY team!" said Asuma. "How are your children fairing, my team of mine?"
"All of my sons got along nicely and enjoyed all the attention we gave to them while we were watching movies." Ino started the conversation up.
"So you guys watched movies, then?" Asuma said, taking notes.
"Yes." Said Ino. "And we took them out to breakfast this morning and we didn't order anything with eggs in them."
"How thoughtful!" Asuma said. "And how is your son, Shikamaru?"
"Um…he's good." Shikamaru answered.
"He slept most of the time." Chouji added.
"I'm so glad to hear that you three were successful!" cheered Asuma as he looked at Kakashi and Gai, as if expecting them to go: "ASUMA! YOU RAWK!"
Quite OBVIOUSLY, they didn't.
"Finally, MY team!" said Kurenai. "Kiba, let's start with you. How is your egg?"
"Actually, me and Hinata were sharing this egg." Said Kiba.
"Awww!" said Kurenai, which of course caused Kiba and Hinata to both turn bright red.
"It's not like that!" Kiba yelled. "It's just because she didn't have an egg so I offered to share responsibilities with her!"
"That's so cute, Kiba." Said Kurenai.
"It's not cute!" Kiba argued as he threw a temper tantrum.
"Okay, so how is the egg?" Kurenai asked Hinata because Kiba had run off to hide from people who would make fun of him.
"She's all right." Hinata answered timidly because she was just as embarrassed as Kiba was.
"What did you all do with your eggs?" Kurenai asked.
"Well, since they're all girls, we took them to the mall and gave them makeovers." Hinata said as she got more embarrassed, and then everyone proceeded to make fun of Kiba MORE. No one made fun of Shino because he's Shino and that's reason enough.
"And…Shino?" Kurenai said. "How were your daughters?"
"Delicious." Shino replied.
No one said anything at first.
"Just kidding." Said Shino as if everyone was awfully silly for thinking he was serious. He pulled the eggs out of his pocket.
"I TOLD you Shino had a weird sense of humor!" Kiba told the general public before he once again retreated into his little bubble.
"Okay Shino…" said Kurenai, looking a bit startled.
"They're fine." Shino said.
"Well, that's excellent." Kurenai said. "The state of my students eggs are as follows: Fine and all right!"
"My students have the happiest, most content and well educated egg in the entire universe, an um…okay egg and a goddamned egg!" Gai announced.
"I have fine, very happy and one broken." Kakashi said.
"Mine have eggs that enjoyed their experience with their parents, and one is sleeping and feeling fine." Asuma finished.
So everyone stared at each other for a bit.
"Okay so what was the point of that…" said Shikamaru, trying to lead into the teachers dismissing them, perhaps without informing them of their next holiday.
"I'm glad you asked!" said Asuma. "We are going to take one person from each team; the one with the happiest child or children! And those people are the WINNERS! They get a special prize that will be announced on a later date."
All the teachers huddled as the students groaned. After a few minutes of waiting around for the teachers to emerge, they emerged! Imagine that!
"I have decided that, on my team, Sakura had the happiest egg." Kakashi reported.
"YES!" cheered Sakura. "I get a special prize!"
"Lee!" said Gai. "You have the happiest egg BY FAR!"
"ALL RIGHT!" cheered Lee in such an automatic fashion that he was very much like a sprinkler. An automatic one.
"Kiba, I've decided that you win from my team." Said Kurenai. "But just because you're so CUTE!"
"Nooo!" whined Kiba as he ran away from Kurenai before she could pat him on the head.
"And finally, the happiest eggs on my team would have to be those owned by INO!" Asuma declared.
"Yay!" cheered Ino.
"Hang on, then it wasn't fair that people like Hinata and Chouji didn't get a chance to win the special prize." Tenten pointed out.
The teachers looked at each other, then the students and then tried to sneak away as quietly as possibly. All they did was leave a note on the ground as soon as they took off sprinting.
"I think someone dropped them when they were children." Neji said.
Naruto took charge and picked up the paper. "It says that September is National Single's Month." He read. "And that means we're going to attend the annual National Single's Dance on the seventh."
There was another collective groan, except this one came mostly from the side of testosterone. The estrogen filled side gasped with delight.
"Does it say anything else?" Sasuke asked.
"It says that we should think about who we plan on bringing." Naruto said. "Because we're not allowed to show up alone."
"What?" said Shikamaru. "Isn't it a SINGLE'S dance?"
"So the dance starts at 8:00," Naruto said, ignoring Shikamaru. "But they said they want us to meet here the day before to reveal who we're taking. And there's one more thing here… it says that the special prize for the people who one the egg thing will be revealed."
"Do you two feel like pushing me off another cliff on the sixth?" Neji asked Lee and Tenten.
"You said you forgave us!" they both yelled.
"Oh." Said Naruto. "There's something on the back. It says, 'Sasuke—Kakashi's birthday is on the fifteenth so don't forget.'"
"Oh yeah." Said Sasuke.
And thus began the longest few weeks of anyone's lives. Especially Sasuke's, as he must fend off females who wish to attend the dance with him.