Gallant Old Engine could not speak, for his funnel was swimming- but he wanted to know what had happened to drive Luke to a second suicide attempt.
"Please, explain," He said, sounding sterner than usual, and wincing at his tone. He hoped that he didn't scare his friend – but sadly this was to be debunked when Luke gulped in fright.
"...I...I just ended up thinking about the past few months, ...and everything I got you lot into- and how much of a burden I'm being to you all...I also felt that life had lost all meaning, and I thought about...that is...I heard a voice in my head telling me to kill myself...it's not that I wanted to die, Rheneas- I felt like I was trapped in my own mind, and...and..." his eyes welled with tears just thinking about what he nearly done. "And I felt... that...that death was my only option, so..."
"Luke?"
"...I attempted to commit suicide." Luke finished in a rush, not wanting to go into this anymore. "Smudger brought me here."
"And, if you'll forgive me for asking this so soon- how did you try to commit suicide, Luke?"
'Of course, I should have known better than to think I could evade someone as wise as Rheneas.' The little Wren realised miserably.
"I...I got some workmen to help me attempt to drown myself in the lake." He admitted at last, too fearful to look at his dearest friend and saviour- he was too ashamed of the fact that he had attempted suicide again behind his friends' backs- and he nearly lost Mr Wilson to an argument over this as well last time. He couldn't face them again. "I'm sorry..."
Rheneas was surprised beyond belief at hearing this apology. "Why, Luke?" He asked weakly.
"I'm sorry, my friend- I just didn't know if I could go on..." The younger engine replied quietly. "I feel so weak..."
That did it. "Luke, you are not weak- everyone has a breaking point. But remember, my friend, you're fighting a battle with your mind, and you're suffering for it." Rheneas reminded him.
"Yes, I suppose," Luke mumbled inaudibly.
"No, it's clear that it is so, Luke." Rheneas argued gently. "I can't say that I know what that feels like, but I am concerned for you, my friend- and so are the others. We care about you, because you're our friend. Since you came to the quarry, you've had a huge impact on our lives."
"Probably a destructive one," Luke huffed.
"I can't argue that it's been anything but plain sailing, Luke- but you've also been optimistic and kind hearted even when things have been tough - we admire that about you."
"Really-you mean that?"
"Yes, of course I do," confirmed Rheneas. "I can't say that any of us are capable of helping in a situation like this- but we want to help you, Luke- please, don't"- He suddenly started coughing and hacking violently, causing Luke alarm.
"Are you alright?" The Kerr Stuart asked, waiting until the Fletcher Jennings had calmed down to regain control over his nerves.
"I'm fine, Luke, thank you," Sighed Rheneas shakily. "I've been doing that a lot."
Luke didn't answer- he just sat there, and pondered over what Rheneas said; whilst his companion hoped that word had reached the others about Luke.
...
Meanwhile, back at the Blue Mountain Quarry, the others were concerned about Luke.
"Are you sure you and Merrick didn't see anything last night, Owen?" Rusty asked anxiously.
"Regrettably, no," Owen answered. "Merrick and I were asleep last night."
"Oh..." The diesel had sighed sadly. "Thanks anyway, Owen."
'We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother' Rusty thought sadly, as he watched coloured dots moving round the quarry- red, yellow, dark green and blue.
'Luke, please be okay...wherever you are...'
Rusty, unable to face the pain anymore, allowed a stoic façade to sweep over his features He didn't care if Duncan called him a heartless diesel for doing so, but he had to hold it together, for his friends. He could see that they tried to carry on with their work, but they were lacking due to Rheneas being ill, and Luke still missing.
...
"Skarloey-what do you think's happened to Luke?" Peter Sam asked quietly on the lower terrace.
"I honestly can't answer that," Skarloey answered truthfully. "He can't have gone far, Peter Sam- narrow gaugers can't go a lot of places on Sodor, and he wouldn't dare venture to the Steamworks."
"But I'm worried he might be hurt!" Peter Sam protested, close to tears at the disappearance of his cousin and their friend from the quarry. "We should go and look for him!" He continued, hopeful that their leader would agree.
"Peter Sam, we can't risk it." Skarloey pointed out. "It's an idea I would agree with in most circumstances, but it'll look suspicious of us if we sneak off now."
"I hate to admit it, but he has a point," Agreed Sir Handel, rolling up alongside his friends.
"Are you eavesdropping again?" Peter Sam asked in annoyance, glaring at his friend/ adoptive older brother.
"Maybe...but face it, Peter Sam, Skarloey's - if another engine leaves the quarry with unexplained reasons that will pose a huge risk on Luke's secret." Sir Handel reasoned.
"I suppose..." Peter Sam said sadly. Skarloey frowned.
"Don't worry, my friends," The old engine said determinedly. "We'll all do what we can to help Luke- once we find him... that is..."
"But how?" Asked Peter Sam, causing Skarloey's brow to furrow in thought. The only problem was, unless they broke the rules, or got a job outside the quarry, they couldn't leave.
Luke's life could be at stake- if he hadn't already...Skarloey gulped in fear.
"I'll go and see if Rheneas has heard anything." Skarloey said at last, causing the others to gasp.
"But, Skarloey, are you sure that's wise?" Sir Handel asked.
"One punishment for my rule breaking is less inconsequential than Luke's life," Skarloey replied sternly. "I'll head out, see what I can find, and head back. You two stay here. I'm sorry to throw more work on you like this, but"-
"It's fine!" Peter Sam replied. "We can cope with more work easily. Just...if you can...please being back news that Luke's safe." Peter Sam pleaded.
"Well, I'll try, but I can't make any promises." Skarloey said solemnly. And with that, he headed away, pistons pounding furiously. This was the first time he abandoned his duties since he first refused to take those trucks for Mr Mack when he first came to Sodor.
"Well, this time, it's for a friend." He muttered bravely, clearing all thoughts of Mr. Percival scolding him out of his mind.
He needed to find out if Luke was okay- and fast.
But where was he?
...
A/N: I've FINALLY updated! I'm so, so sorry I left this, guys! I had exams, as it was my last year of school, and then I had a whole lot of other requests and stuff to catch up on- and I'm glad I'm making progress with those requests! I'd like to thank all you wonderful reviewers for your support- every time I saw a new review pop up, I was so happy (and guilty I hadn't updated...) so hopefully updates wouldn't be so long in future :P
Disclaimer: "We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother'" belongs to William Shakespeare's King Henry V, from a very famous speech.