Guest Review Response:

Hawkfeather: *blissful sigh* ah, my fix. finally. :D Don't bother protesting how bad it was. seriously. it was beautiful. And I get a cookie now?

Me:

I'm guessing you enjoyed that one? Sounds a little like my stories might be the worst sort of crack - the addictive sort! (I kid, I kid). *grumbles* Okay, you got me there. I'm a perfectionist, XDD - I was actually quite worried that this one would toe the line too much, but it looks like I'm all right...

Oh yeah - and here's your cookie. *hands it over*

If you would like to request that a ship goes early, please check the RQing rules on the intro page before you leave your review with the request.

Also, the third of the Twelve Days of Christmas run comes a bit late…

Hikarishipping (Marik x Ryou x Yugi) - Requested to go early, by Hawksfeather.
Flaws of the triangle/three–way: It's one half of Yuumeishipping, guys – and the weird thing is that in… a really odd sort of way, it kinda… tilt your head sideways, take a few sugar hits, and sit up late… it sort of… works.
Sort of.

Okay, so it doesn't. Not really. But if you're utterly sugar–drunk and up late, it sort of does.

Right, explanation time: This ship gets off to a good start, as Yugi is pretty much Sir Trusting the Extremely Gullible. The fact that he was willing to trust Kaiba during the early manga should show that. Better still – he did actually make it up with Marik after Battle City. And Marik even helped him later on (I think). At any rate, Yugi seemed to conveniently forget that it was Marik and not Yami Marik who put him through the whole duel–your–best–friend–to–the–death thing). He is probably the only one of the whole main cast who does actually trust Ryo, even when that kid's wearing the Ring – so that's certainly saying something.

Next, Ryo – and this is where things fall apart. Ryo's certainly proven himself to Yugi (not that he ever needed to – but he still died for Yugi and co during Monster World, by forcing his soul to shatter), however it's important to remember that all he's ever done for Marik is look like a weakling. And we all know how Marik treats those he deems as weaklings. (Hint: He's not nice to them). In addition, Ryo's been mind controlled by Marik longer than most of the others excluding the Rare Hunters – and the brainwashing was so strong that he couldn't even feel his own pain. As a result of that, he's not going to be overly fond of Marik – depending how long after Battle City the story is set, he's most likely to be scared of Marik.

Speaking of a certain Egyptian, Marik is an even bigger spanner in the works – he is actually pretty nasty during Battle City (and many seem to forget all about the Yugi vs Joey thing, but I digress). After Battle City, he seems to be *somewhat* nicer, though Ryo is still going to be scared of him. But there's an even bigger issue with this bully – you see, it's really quite easy to stop Yami Yugi/Yami Bakura from interfering with things. You just take away their Millennium Items – both Ryo and Yugi showed in the manga that their 'yami' cannot come out, unless they're wearing the Item. So, it's easy to shut up overprotective 'yamis', right?

…And then you get to Marik, who's already a problem when comes to him and Ryo, and you suddenly find that exactly what I've talked about in the Yuumeishipping and Bronzeshipping requests applies here. Basically, Yami Marik isn't connected to an Item, which pretty much means that Marik can go psycho axe-murderer on the other two; regardless of whether he's got the Millennium Rod or not. And please remember that Yami Marik is hate itself. If you really think that he's going to support ANY sort of lovey–dovey action with Marik, you are sadly mistaken…

oOoOoOo
Okay, so this story actually took a few attempts to get, which is why it's off schedule a bit. It got to the point where I wrote pretty much all of a second oneshot, before I scrapped it and tried this instead (the previous one is still saved, and I may end up posting it later on for you all to lol at, along with a bunch of other one-shots that didn't make the cut). That story was way too serious for my liking – if you were wondering, it was pretty much a total AU. All three of them were science experiments locked in some sort of hospital school, but the effects hadn't showed on Yugi and Ryo yet. Everyone else had weird powers (Marik had Wolverine claws, Joey had a dog nose and ears, and Duke was a master hypnotist), and so Yugi and Ryo were constantly trying not to get killed or bullied mercilessly. After surviving for seven years with no friends but each other, Marik eventually caught them – and he terrified them so badly that their abilities finally activated – Ryo basically went Maximum Ride (kid with wings) on everyone, and Yugi was able to move through walls. The two of them may or may not have beaten up Marik afterwards, as the ending wasn't completed.
oOoOoOo

Warnings: Just as suggestive as the Yuumeishipping fic, if not so – and everyone's slightly OOC. See also: Shirtless Marik and Yugi.
Time Period: After Battle City, Yugi tries to throw a party...
Names:
Yugi/Yuugi = Yugi
Ryo/Ryou/Bakura = Ryo
Marik/Malik = Marik

Yugi Moto tried to smile at the mastermind who had technically almost murdered him, along with his best friend. No, seriously – he really tried.
Emphasis on the 'try' bit.
"So, uh… Marik…"

Sitting next to his friend, the white haired teen blinked, feeling a strong urge to try and get away from the general awkwardness of this. After all Ryo Bakura had been through, this honestly would have been right up there with 'Finding out that I was responsible for all those comas' and 'Trusting Marik' in terms of sheer stupid. As Yugi and Marik attempted to make some sort of silly conversation concerning hair gel, the boy sighed – it hadn't been his idea for Yugi to randomly decided to have a Millennium Items party at Ryo's own flat, without asking him first. For better or worse, only the three boys had actually showed up. This wasn't that surprising – there were only six people holding the seven Items, after all. The first man, he held two of them… oh yeah, and he was a ghost. Marik's sister, Ishizu, was the Egyptian ambassador – she had far more pressing matters to attend to, such as her whole country rebelling after Marik's evil split personality managed to eat all the chocolate in the government's staff fridge (thanks, Yami Marik!). The third person – Maxmillion Pegasus… well, he was dead. Ryo hadn't really meantto kill Pegasus, but the spirit inside his Millennium Ring had taken him over – he'd only been able to watch in horror as Yami Bakura butchered the creator of Duel Monsters and took Pegasus's Item. So, that just left Yugi, Marik, and Ryo to attend the 'party'.

A party of three… Heck, that sounded like something straight out of his tabletop role–playing game, 'Monster World' – which was totally not a rip–off of Dungeons and Dragons, thanks very much.

Ryo nodded to Marik. "Would you like some tea?"

"Erm… No thanks. It's nice of you to offer me one of your cheerleaders, but…"

"No, not Teá! I meant tea. You know, the drink."

"Oh. Well, I guess." (1)

Somewhat relieved, Ryo went into the other room to heat up the kettle. The Ring felt warm in his jacket pocket, but somehow he resisted the desire to put it on…

oOoOoOo

Yugi stared mournfully at the Millennium Puzzle, lying on the table – Marik's Millennium Rod was at Yugi's house. "It doesn't really feel right without my Puzzle."

"Doesn't feel right without my Rod, either." Yugi shot Marik a warning look, and he attempted to look innocent. "What?"

"Don't even thinkabout trying to get it off me."

"I wasn't going to", the Egyptian fibbed, then leaned in close. "Hey, what could I give you for it?"

"Marik!"

"Heh, just kidding." He pulled a face. "I should know that it's priceless, of all people."

"Yeah… what with your back and all." Yugi sounded almost wistful – he was thinking about the memory of his friend, the amnesiac Egyptian Pharaoh who lived in his Millennium Puzzle. He hesitated, then asked. "Uh… you don't suppose you could show me those hieroglyphs again, do you?"

Bad move. The blonde saw his chance, and by Ra, he went for it – because screw dignity, he had something important to get.(And yes, that was a TOTALLY original catchphrase! Honest!) (2)

"Mmh, I know a lot about those Millennium Items. I could show you so much…", Marik purred, sliding the fabric of his top easily over his head, taking his time. "And I mean, I could give you… something really, really good."

"Erm… well… " Yugi had to admit it, the Egyptian was a pretty good stripper. The teen teased the other boy, coming close, fingering Yugi's collar- then pulling away again with an ever-so-slightly evil smile. Eventually, curiosity got the better of awkwardness, and Yugi just had to ask. "So… What could you give me?"

"Oh, you'll see – it's a surprise. Just take off your clothes, and I'll show you."

"WHAT?!"

Marik pulled a face. "Blah blah destiny blah connected blah. Come on, I did it for you. Now, you get your kit off for me."

"You don't have all your kit off."
An indignant toss of the head that sent shaggy blonde locks across Marik's tanned brow. "Then just your top." He grinned. "Might take the rest of my clothes off later, though."

Yugi sighed. "Look, can you just try to be sensible? I only want to see your tattoos."

"Exactly what all the ladies say. And probably the guys as well." Marik folded his arms. "But unless they're willing to get their top off for me, I won't do it for them."

"What about Battle City?"

The Egyptian looked away immediately, and Yugi wished he hadn't asked. "As far as I'm concerned, that never happened."

Yugi grumbled a little at that, but he still removed his shirt. Marik's eyes went wide with interest – though it could have easily been real or feigned – and he purred softly, studying the teen's muscles."You've got guns, haven't ya?" He paused. "Not quite like Joey's or Rishid's, but still."He ran a hand over the other teen's chest. "Hmm – they're a bit like Duke's, actually. Although, he istaller than you… Still, he's pretty scrawny."

Yugi winced at that comment, but he was determined to persist. "Look, can I just see your back?"

"Nope. I want to see yours first."

"But I–" Yugi stopped and sighed. "Fine, you win."

Kneeling on the couch, he turned around to present his back to Marik – and with an evil giggle, the latter took full advantage of it to walk around the table, and wrap his bare arms around Yugi's neck.
"Hey", he breathed – and the other teen instantly tensed up, shifting his position so that he now kneeled sideways on the couch. The Egyptian immediately flicked his hands down Yugi's sides, then removed them for a moment. "So, I need some practice, and you look like pretty good game to me."
"Um… Marik? What exactly are you going to d–"

All Yugi got for an answer was Marik's foot slamming hard into his back, knocking him onto all fours. "Try to relax, okay? This is a special technique, right here."

oOoOoOo

In the kitchen, the kettle whistled, and a pale hand snatched out and grabbed it. Ryo sighed with relief, pouring hot water into the teapot.

Wait… Did Yugi ask for tea? Did either of them want sugar? Milk? In his haste to get away from the 'party', he'd forgotten to ask. "Hey, Yugi! Did you want tea as well?"

He paused, but he didn't get any reply.
Weird.

"Yugi? Marik?"

Nothing.
With a sigh, Ryo left the teapot on the bench, and walked back towards the lounge room.

He didn't get that far before the noises started. An odd creaking, then a long groan – and then it happened.

"M–Ma–Aaaah! Oh god, Marik!" (3)

The pale teen stopped dead in his tracks, halfway down the hallway. That was Yugi – almost screaming, yes, but it was definitely his voice.
That doesn't sound good…

"MAAAARRRIIIIIK!"

"I'm coming, Yugi!", Ryo yelped, charging down the hallway; he heard his friend begin to groan again, and tripled his pace. "You had better not be trying to kill him!" His voice was high with uncontained panic – if the Egyptian was trying to kill Yugi and get his Rod back that way, then what could he possibly do?
I–I'm useless…

The pale teen shook his head – there was no point worrying about that. He'd figure out something when he got there, and it would all be just fine. "Hang in there, Yugi!", he called, speeding towards the door.

"Ryo!", Marik yelped. "Just wait – I can explain!"

Too late. The door flew open, and in came Ryo. "Marik, if he's hurt you're gonna– oh, God."
He stared at the two of them in shock – both of them were shirtless, Yugi was on all fours on the couch, and Marik knelt behind him, with both hands on the other teen's back. The latter's face was an interesting mix of guilty and embarrassed.

"Erm… Honestly, it's nothing."

"Get off him!", the teen snarled, racing to Yugi's side. "A–are you okay?"

"M–Marik!", Yugi groaned. There was sweat pouring down his back, and his eyes were wide. "I… I've never felt better…", he gasped out at last – and to Ryo's surprise, his friend actually beckoned to the Egyptian. "Come back here." At last, Yugi looked at the pale teen; "S–sorry Ryo. I didn't mean to scare you or anything."

Confused, the pale boy looked between the two of them. "Uh… Explanation?"

"Well", Marik yawned, "I had to find a new hobby after Battle City."

"So?"

"I took up massage." The Egyptian eyed Ryo up and down, then gestured to the couch. "You look like you could do with one."

"But why would I–"

"Oh, all sorts of reasons. For one, you're very stressed. For another, Yugi can guarantee that it's a great opportunity. And for a third, I have a massage exam tomorrow. You'd be great practice."

Yugi nearly choked on his own laughter. "Massage exam?"

The Egyptian glared. "Hey!"

Some part of Ryo decided that now would be an excellent time to consult his shoes. "Erm… It's nice of you to offer, but I think I'll pass."

Marik blinked. "Actually, it wasn't an offer."

"Eh?" The pale teen looked up, and–

WHAM!

–found himself staring at the ceiling. Marik filled his vision.

"See, I never said it was an offer. To be honest, I never practiced for that exam, so I had to cram. And that's why you are getting a massage." Strong hands flipped him onto his stomach. "And by Ra, you're going to enjoy it!"

oOoOoOo

Notes:
1. Many people often use 'Tea' instead of 'Teá' (Dub!Anzu's name) – this was just to poke fun at that.
2. God, it irritates me when people use random Abridged quotes – doubly so when they're being said by another character, and are utterly out of context.
3. See also: Every badly written YGO lemon scene ever. You get a cookie if you didn't assume at this point that I'd finally lost all my dignity, yelled "Screw the rules!" and had written lemon.