Jacob Moves In
Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to SM.
A/N-thank you for the kind reviews!
Chapter Thirty Eight
"Listening to him talk about Victoria..." Bella shook her head as if trying to clear a disturbing memory from her head. "It's like listening to myself in those first heady days after Edward and I got together. I was obsessed with everything about him, even after he had warned me about what he was, about what he had done." She clutched Jacob's shoulders as she knelt in front of him and stared into his worried eyes. "Was I enthralled by him? Is everything I remember about my relationship a lie. I can't let myself believe that. I can't."
It was so difficult to hear Bella talk about her relationship with Cullen. It was a topic they avoided at all costs, especially now they had taken their first tentative steps into a relationship of their own. But the complex situation with Charlie had brought up painful feelings for Bella as well as a few unwanted revelations. Even though it was hard for him, Jacob had to swallow his pride and remember that even though they were in a romantic relationship he was still her best friend. He needed to be grateful that she could confide in him. It was better than withdrawing into herself like she would have done in the past.
"I don't think that everything you shared with him was a lie." Jacob said tensely. It was a strain to keep his tone neutral and not reveal his hatred of Edward Cullen underneath. "I think you're stronger than you realise, Bells. I think that..." He paused, taking a deep breath. "I know that he loved you very much despite the fact the he should have kept away from you. He was selfish to draw you into his world. It was only ever going to end in disaster. But you shouldn't question how you felt about him then, or your memories of your time together, good or bad."
Bella fell silent. She could see the torment in his dark eyes as he tried his best to be reasonable and fair. "Thank you." She said sadly as she leaned in to kiss his forehead. She let her lips linger against his smooth skin before pulling back. "But I still don't know what to do about my dad."
Jacob lifted Bella onto his lap and put his arms around her. He could breathe easier when she was nestled against him. She had her hand on his chest and was stroking soothing circles on his hot skin. He relaxed, feeling more of his tension ebb away. "I think he did fall under her spell. But your dad's strong, Bells. I'm sure this is a temporary blip. He needs a distraction that's all. Something to take his mind off the situation. I think his loneliness is getting to him a bit. We're dating. My dad's dating. Suddenly he's surrounded by all these new relationships."
"I already tried to set him up but it was a disaster." Bella lamented. What Jacob said was logical but she had run out of ideas.
"I don't mean set him up with another woman." Jacob dropped a kiss on top of her hair when he saw her looking upset again. "I think helping another woman would be a way to go."
"What?" Bella felt confused.
"I'm talking about Sue Clearwater." Jacob revealed. "Leah and Seth have been worried about their mom. Since losing Harry she's closed herself off and is pushing her friends away. Them too. She's bottling up her grief and you more than anyone know that's not healthy. Maybe Charlie could be the key to unlocking her emotions. Maybe they could help each other."
Bella was always amazed at how insightful Jacob could be. She had gone into panic mode after listening to her father talk about Victoria. Her anxiety had stopped her seeking a solution. But Jacob had come home, cut calmly through her hysteria and came up with a suggestion that made sense. She twisted around on his lap until she was facing him. Cradling his face in her palms she leaned in to kiss him again, slowly, tenderly. "I love you." She whispered against his eager lips. "I really do."
It was the first time she had verbalised it aloud. Jacob always knew she loved him. But having her confirm it, to actually hear her say those three words in such a soft, affectionate way, made it so much more perfect. Moisture welled in his eyes as he cradled the back of her head and kissed her again, his tears spilling from under his closed lids as he rejoiced silently inside.
That evening, while Jacob was out patrolling with his brothers and Billy was on another date with Cora, Bella pitched the idea to Charlie. "According to Jake, Leah and Seth are really worried about their mom. She needs a friend right now, dad."
"I don't know, kiddo." Charlie said cautiously. "The last time I went to see Sue she made it clear I wasn't welcome. I think being around Billy and me reminds her of Harry too much. It's painful."
"I didn't take you for a quitter, dad." Bella blazed angrily. "You saw me sink into a deep depression and you held back, worried that forcing me to face up to my grief would push me away. Haven't you learned anything?" It was a low blow. Bella felt guilty for saying it but she was feeling desperate. Charlie needed a shove, even if it hurt his male pride. She would do anything to get his mind off a certain red head.
"That's not fair, Bells." Charlie didn't hide his hurt. "Both situations are different."
"No, they are the same." Bella persisted. "Sue needs a friend, dad. A friend who keeps coming back no matter how many times she shuts the door in their face. Because she's gonna break soon and it's not fair for poor Seth and Leah to deal with the fall out when both of them are suffering themselves. Harry would want you to be there for her." She implored.
It was mentioning Harry that clinched it. Charlie's jaw tensed as he tried to contain his emotions. "Alright, kiddo. I see your point. Okay." He breathed deeply through his nose. "It's just hard for me too."
"Oh, dad." Bella's expression softened as she put her arms around him in a rare display of affection. "I understand how you feel. But I also understand Sue's pain, too."
"You are so grown up now." Charlie felt his emotions overwhelm him. "I know I don't say it enough but I'm proud of you, kiddo."
"Thanks." Bella was touched at his compliment. She hugged him again, a feeling of relief washing over her that things were heading in the right direction again.
It was late when Cora dropped Billy off at the Black's. They'd spent a pleasant evening at her small rented house in Forks. Cora had cooked and they had watched a romantic movie together. Things were progressing nicely and he was the happiest he had been in a long time. Jacob came out of the house to help him inside, he turned away when Billy kissed Cora goodnight. He had learned to accept the new relationship but still found it difficult to watch their public displays of affection.
"She's asked me to stay over tomorrow night." Billy revealed as Jacob pushed his chair up the ramp.
"Are you going to?" Jacob asked quietly. For Cora to ask his father to stay it meant things were getting really serious. He waited with baited breath for Billy's response.
"I said yes." Billy said eventually after a moment's silence. He turned his head to look up at his son. "Are you okay with that?"
"It's not any of my business." Jacob shrugged, trying to act nonchalant. "You can do what you want. You've already said yes anyway."
Billy hesitated again. He was finding it hard to read Jacob. His expression was inscrutable. It was like he was deliberately trying to hide his feelings. "Is there something wrong? You seem a little tense."
Jacob met his dad's enquiring gaze, deliberating whether to tell him about Charlie. His father had been so caught up in his new relationship that he had missed the things that had been going on around him. Jacob couldn't help but feel resentful about it. He didn't respond right away as he manoeuvred the wheelchair into the house. He wanted time to think.
"Where's Charlie and Bella?" Billy asked as he noticed that most of the lights were turned off. Only a small lamp in the lounge was burning.
"They're at the Clearwater's. I would have been with them but I had to wait here until you came home." Jacob couldn't keep the resentment out of his tone this time.
Billy studied his son's profile again. Jacob had turned away from him to hide his expression. "Are Sue and the kids alright?" He asked in concern.
"Not really." Jacob gave up the pretence and spun around to face Billy again. "But then you wouldn't know that because you haven't been around much. Sue has been at breaking point for weeks. It would have been nice if you could tear yourself away from Cora for five minutes to go visit your best friend's widow."
"That's uncalled for." Billy gasped. "I've tried contacting Sue. She said she needed space."
"Well how convenient for you." Jacob retorted bitterly. "I bet that eased your conscience."
"Where is this coming from?" Billy snapped in response. "I thought you had accepted Cora. She makes me happy. Of course I miss Sarah. I think of her every day. But she's been gone for so long now..."
"This is not about mom." Jacob exploded. He threw his hands up in the air and began to pace back and forth. He hadn't meant to let his emotions get the better of him but it was pointless holding back now. "This is about you being completely oblivious to everything that is going on around you. Since you've been dating Cora you've more or less neglected your best friend. You're living in Charlie's house, dad. He took time off work to look after you and now you've literally pushed him to one side so you can spend every waking minute with Cora."
"The chief is fine with it. If he had a problem he would say so." Billy blustered.
"That's bullshit, dad." Jacob shot back at him. "You're being selfish. You need to find a balance. Don't forget about the other people in your life that need your attention, too."
"Like you." Billy finally saw the anguish underneath his son's resentment. "I've not been here for you."
"Or anyone." Jacob finished quietly. "I wanted to be with Bella tonight. I hardly get any quality time with her. I've been patrolling all day. Instead of spending what free time I do have with her I've had to stay in waiting for you to come back. It's not fair."
"No, it's not. You're right. I'm sorry." Billy conceded. "I'll cancel my plans with Cora."
"I'm not asking you to do that." Jacob said impatiently. "Go and stay with her tomorrow. I'm just saying you need to be more thoughtful."
"I will I promise." Billy agreed, chagrined. "Why don't you and I head over to the Clearwater's now and join Charlie and Bella, huh?"
"It's late. They're probably on their way back now."
"Another time then." Billy suggested.
"Yeah, another time." Jacob sighed.
A/N-thanks for reading!