Rain, Forgive Me
Chapter Thirty eight: Rain, forgive me
"That's final." The oldest one with the beard said. "We will decide whether or not the young mod soul will be executed but in the mean time, she will be placed back into the body."
The younger man smiled knowing he had done some justice for the girl.
Three days later…
It was so dark and empty… so cold. Why did it feel so cold? In an instant the young woman became aware of herself. She felt her chest expand and deflate on a flat surface that ached her back. Her limbs, she tried to move them slowly but they were so stiff. It felt like she was wrapped up tightly with cloth.
Her maroon eyes creaked open just a little. So bright… she closed them and tried again for a second time. Her vision was blurry. She could see colors of grey and white. And then a little bit of purple. Her face was tight almost like she was in a different skin or something.
She blinked once, allowing her eyes to adjust further. Her vision sharpened with each blink. Then she could finally understand the images that were in front of her. She saw Captain Kurotsuchi leaning over her with large bulging eyes. And that same devious smile she knew too well.
"Waking up? It's about time." He said with a playful tone. Did he ever take anything seriously?
The girl felt lost. Where was she? Had long had she been there? She moved her lips and whispered with a crackling voice, "What happened?"
"I brought you back to life!" He exclaimed. "It wasn't an easy task let me explain…"
He then proceeded to explain a bunch of long medical terms and experiments and such that Riina couldn't have understood even if she tried. Though, she didn't try and instead turned her head. There were beeping noises around her. They emanated from a monitor beside her. Then she noticed she was on a flat and cold steel table.
Beep, beep, beep. She had no idea what it was beeping for. She felt cold cloth wrapped all around her. She steadily sat up, her body felt so rigid and the task was difficult at first but the more she used her muscles the more comfortable they felt.
She was wearing a clean shinigame kimono, but her left arm and legs were covered in thick wrappings. She lifted up her right arm to feel her face to tell if there were wrappings there but that was when she realized something. She didn't have a right arm.
Her eyes widened. Her left arm quickly grasped the nub of her shoulder. There was nothing there, just her shoulder in cased in yet more wrappings. Riina gasped. "Where, where's my arm?!" She crackled with a high pitched voice filled with terror.
With her shouting she felt bandages fall loose from her mouth. They rested along her collar bone now. Riina looked at the man with shocked eyes. Her mind wondered quickly what had happened.
WAIT…
[Riina ran at the monster with fury. And the monster ran back with the same amount of hate. The red head swung her left arm forward. It swung deeply at the monster behind the white bones. The bones then cracked and shattered to a million pieces. Riina was left with half of a sword, because the metal had broken off.
She had gotten through the bones! Somehow, she had enough energy to do it! Now, no longer surrounded by the white light was Akahana. A woman stood before her, taller by several inches. Her eyes were wide. The Riina saw something odd in them.
A little and frightened girl. One with gorgeous silver hair and gleaming red eyes. They were not evil eyes, they brought only comfort to all those who looked her way. The girl though was crying in fear. Riina saw the girl quiver away and Riina felt the sword become heavy in her left hand.]
WHERE….
[Everything she regretted went back to that day, what she did to her little sister. It didn't matter that they were not truly related, it only mattered that they were there for each other. And Riina, she broke it all. She threw what they had away.
She wondered how she could have done that. It was so wrong and merciless. She caused her sister to grow up and become a hollow. What kind of older sister was she? She was an awful one, the worst.
And now that she had the chance to look into those eyes, she was going to destroy it? That would be her biggest regret. If she had killed her sister a second time, what kind of older sibling would she be then?]
NO….
[Somehow Riina's body had fallen to the ground though she didn't remember falling. There wasn't a sword in her hand or an evil grin on her face. There was a different and unknown expression there. Everything was getting so dark… Riina could see a sword sticking out from her back through to her chest.]
NO…
[Akahana, her expression was different. Slowly tears fell from her eyes and landed on Riina's cheeks. Her face was so sad. Akahana screamed her name but Riina couldn't hear a thing. It was getting so dark. The last thing she did happen to see were those beautiful red eyes widen in shock as a blade went through her chest.]
NOT.. HER…
[She did see the woman slowly kiss her forehead though and there was a subtle warmth to it that made Riina hear just a little bit longer. Her vision had gone, everything was black by now but Riina felt the little warmth on her forehead and the whisper of the woman over her.
The whisper was barely audible and that of a dying woman who choked out every syllable. Riina felt her consciousness drift a little more away from her grasp with each word she said until there was nothing left but her soothing voice. "And you... will always be… my older sister."]
"Where is she?!" Riina exclaimed. She jumped off of the silvery cold table, her bare feet crumbled beneath her sudden force on an even colder floor. Her left arm kept her from falling face first into the ground. She stared widely at the ground. Her left hand had turned into a fist slowly and her knuckles were white from the pressure.
She felt her heart begin to beat no pound, it was like a hollow was inside of her and was using its fists to try to escape her chest. Her wide eyes stung increasingly and the pain from the bright room made them sting more.
"Your body was completely dead you see. I had preformed a miracle of reattaching all the vital nerves and in only three days may I again remind you. Unfortunately, your right arm had been detached far too long to be reattached to the synthetic cells. So we didn't bother making a new one knowing you could live with only one. That was the hardest part though, the nerves are quite delicate and you probably won't be able to control your spiritual pressure correctly. The adjustments I made will only keep you alive for a few short days, the gigai you are in is just too badly damaged to be fully repaired…"
The Captain murmured almost to himself. "Stop rambling!" Riina shot up, this time her legs more steady. Her left hand gripped his white long coat with anger. "Tell me where Akahana is!"
The Captain didn't seem surprised by her actions. He merely smiled a large golden toothed smile, "With all of this happening, the war, your condition, you're worried about an arrancar?"
"Just tell me!" Riina got closer to him, his face only a foot away.
"She's dead. Couldn't find out who killed her or why but it had the spiritual pressure of an espada. Seems like the espada was actually doing us a favor."
Riina's hand didn't let go of the cloth. But her hand shook with anger. Her breath became rigid. It was hard for her to inhale, like she was breathing through a straw. Her jaw clenched tightly shut. 'She can't be…' Her thoughts whispered.
Fury busted from her soul like a volcano. She quickly let go of his coat, and ran the other direction. 'I'm going to kill that espada, I'll kill all the espada!' Her thoughts were clearly irrational. 'And I'll kill anyone who tried to stop me!' She flash stepped out of the building with fire on her feet.
She stormed through the doors into the open. It was day time, but it was dark because thick grey clouds covered the skies. Riina flash stepped towards the tree line that surrounded the Seretei beyond thick cement walls. She was nowhere near the cement wall when she was coming up with insane plans of murder and destruction.
Her thoughts had no reason to them, she couldn't think straight with all the rage inside of her. She didn't know where she was heading but she'd get to Hueco Muendo one way or the other. She'd destroy the place brick by brick. Creature by creature.
Suddenly her quick pace halted. She slipped on the smooth ground in the middle on the squad twelve perimeter. She hadn't even made it out of there before she had tripped. She slid into to the ground and knew why she had slipped on the surface.
Rain. Just a little came down from the overwhelming eerie clouds. Riina laid there for a moment. She had no spiritual pressure left, she had no idea why it wasn't working right. She got up and tried to flash step without any success. Not only that but because of her collision with the ground, her body hurt. She quickly unwrapped the annoying bandages to see endless sown up cuts on her body.
She looked like a monster and that fit perfectly with what she felt. Hate inside of her was taking over. She huffed. She'd walk to Hueco Muendo then! She'd….she'd…. Riina ran quickly with blinding tears developing in her eyes.
Then she stopped. All at once she fell to her knees. Who was she kidding? In her condition she couldn't hardly take another step forward . How could she expect herself to fight off espada? Riina made a fist with her left hand.
'Akahana… no… you can't be dead! Not again! No!' Riina nearly sounded like she was hyperventilating. Gasping for air that felt like it escaped her so easily. Her brow furrowed so deep that one might wonder if she'd ever smile again. Clear pain in her trembling body and cracked soul was apparent.
'No, Akahana! I need you!' Riina screamed in her thoughts. Her left hand hit the pavement with a loud thud. The pain shocked through her entire arm and made her feel that much worse. So much hatred and so much sadness. It was pure agony.
"RAHHHHHHH!" She screamed. Her vocal chords made a loud screeching sound that couldn't even be considered human. She felt her lungs crinkle inwards with tremendous force. She didn't let up though. She let it all out. All of her anger exploded from her lips. More and more. A long and hellish scream erupted from her being. She was so angry, there was no other way to let it escape.
Her lungs shriveled to tiny proportions before she finally inhaled. She inhaled so much air that she gagged on it and fell face first into the ground, gagging and coughing horribly.
Her fist was clenched so tightly and with the force from her lungs, her nails dug into her own palm and caused a few more scratches to add to the rest.
Her lungs had a hard time inflating correctly after that. And her desperate sobbing hadn't helped the situation at all. Her throat stung and ached but she continued to gasp for air while yelling out, "No! Please no! Please… please!" Her throat became so dry and hurt that her pleas became only a raspy whisper. "Akahana, please don't leave me here! This can't be happening! Please! Please!"
Her tears rushed from her eyes unto the slick cement. Rain fell from the sky in sprinkles. Only lightly as if the skies were crying with her…
"Please… please… this can't be real…" She whispered. She sobbed. Her lips quivered. "I love you, please don't go. I promised I wouldn't hurt you. I can't believe I couldn't save you… no please…" Her nose began to run a little and she sniffled it up best she could but couldn't control her heaving sobs.
Her words were parted by her gasping for air. "P-please." She gasped between syllables. She begged Akahana not to die, not to be dead. To be there with her forever. Why, why did she have to go through this pain twice? Why?!
"NO!" She hacked up her last angry and sad words before she just relied on sobbing. She cried and cried underneath the rain of the clouds over her. Cold rain fell on her soothing her new cuts a little. But this gave her little comfort. In her agony it felt like nothing would ever, ever soothe her soul again.
After several minutes of crying she finally stopped. She shifted so she could look up into the sky. Look into the one thing that had cried with her. She squinted as rain drops occasionally hit her face. Her eyes were swollen and there were red veins popping from the corners of her eyes. Her cheeks and nose were tinted a bright red as well.
How could she have let her sister die twice? It was inconceivable. It was unforgivable. But still she whispered, "A-Akahana f-forgive me…" She knew the woman could not hear her words but she said them anyway.
Akahana was gone forever… so there was no need to ask for forgiveness. It was already too late. But in her sorrow she had to say sorry to someone. Just to let someone know the sad song her heart played into her body. With not a single person in sight or around Riina looked into the sky and only whispered more quietly than she herself could hear, "Rain… forgive me…"
Dearest readers, do not fret, this is not the end yet. But please, if you have any emotions inside you right now, leave a review so I may know that this story is making an impact. Thank you for reading, I hope you read further until the end.
"Slowly fading away I am with you Your heart is full of broken dreams I am with you
You're lost and so afraid
Where is the hope, in a world so cold?
Looking for a distant light
Someone who can save a life
Living in fear that no one will hear your cry
(Can you save me now)
I will carry you through it all
I won't leave you
I will catch you
When you feel like letting go
'Cause you're not
You're not alone
Just a fading memory
And everything's gone
But the pain carries on
Lost in the rain again
When will it ever end?
The arms of relief seems so out of reach
But I (I am here)
I will carry you through it all" Red- Not alone