I think I've finally run out of energy! I hated writing this chapter, but powered through it XD. I'm too interested in the stories that come afterward XD. I MUST MAKE IT THROUGH. THERE IS A BIG THINGAMABBOBBER HAPPENING AFTERWARDS GAAAHH.
Meanwhile, this is what it feels like when you run a DND campaign with eight PCs... and why most RPG games just don't allow you to recruit that many persons into your team at a time...
...
"Everyone! Positions!"
Khalid, Branwen, and Minsc (that latter holding a scavenged shield) formed a barrier to keep the mages unappetizing. Minsc remained in front; if something happened to Aegis, or if the plan changed for any reason, he and Jaheira would be the ones rescuing the blonde ranger. Montaron ghosted ahead of them swiftly, using the chaos of the fight to creep up behind their valiant leader. He was a safety measure and he wasn't quite sure he was happy with that, but at least it was keeping him from the lime light for the time being.
The kobolds had bunched up on the inner island, and their flaming arrows whistled past Aegis in hot shrieks.
"Mine!" Dynaheir growled, because she had the better range. Edwin sneered at her but permitted the shot. She stepped out to Khalid's side, her eyelashes fluttering rapidly as energy coursed through and around her arms. Then with a gesture more befitting a monk than a spellcaster, the Wychlaran smoothly directed the energy, twisted her wrists, and lifted her arms up as if around the shape of an invisible lance. The lightning bolt exploded tremendously out forward and backwards through her contorted grasp, a long snake of blue-white power. The explosive force sent charred kobold bodies flying through the air. Some dropped into the water; others smashed up against the cavern.
That got some enemy attention, but with Aegis forcing her way past dozens of startled kobolds, making rapid progress around the circumference of the large cavern and cutting aside any body that stood in her way, the commandos weren't sure what was the bigger problem. As the little red devils stumbled out of the way, drawing shortswords or else twisting about to shoot after her, a wave of Horror fell over them courtesy of Xzar.
Some of the commandos had turned towards the wizards and, though it was somewhat beneath him to play cleanup to Dynaheir's lightning bolts, Edwin contented himself with picking off a number off these nuisances with a torrent of magic missiles. "To the right!" he hissed to Imoen, who retorted with, "got it!" and sent her next arrow flying straight into a commando's throat before he could harass the party.
"Move forward!" Jaheira ordered, trying to keep reasonably close behind Aegis while at the same time letting her be their shield (Xan and Xzar would have noticed the pun, there; sadly they were not privy to her thoughts).
Minsc kept his shield up as Jaheira blashed through frightened kobold brains at the front of the party. Xan muttered the words to a Sleep spell, targeting those kobolds who hadn't fallen under Xzar's sway. The necromancer accompanied Xan closely and followed Jaheira with a giggle, his hands glowing blue in preparation. Glancing over, he contemplated the half-elf druid's slender neck for a moment, and his fingers opened and closed as if he were genuinely contemplating the act of harming her.
"You aren't... thinking what it looks like you're thinking... are you?" Xan asked with a note of complaint. Jaheira glanced at them. Xzar laughed.
"Of course I am!" the necromancer told them both honestly. "But I'll only look! Promise." Then his eyes lit up in delight as one of the kobolds struggled forward to engage them. He leaped ahead of the druid, grabbing past the creature's clumsy sword thrust and latching on to its head. He lifted it off the ground by its throat and jaws, grinning as it twitched and thrashed. The liquid vapor froze up in its skull and its skin blistered and crackled. Xan cringed slightly.
"Keep your eye on the interior cavern's mouth, fools!" Edwin hissed, ducking under an oncoming arrow and hurrying to keep pace with Khalid and Branwen. "If that cleric surfaces, you two have the most consistent view!"
Aegis was lost in a song of blood pumping in her ears. Her axe swirled to its irregular beat. The pace was dissonant; jarring; beautiful. Graceful sighs; guttural slams; slow, fast, abrupt, smooth, forte, shield bash! She could barely identify where she was or what she was doing; she was nothing but motion. Fresh scarlet blood flew in wide arcs around her, and she retained possession of the shield only because she was using it to bash the brains out of just as many kobolds.
Imoen kept at a steady walk, her bead drawn on another kobold who had turned to shoot at the mages. She loosed and received a very satisfying yip in exchange. Garrick had found a rhythm for cocking his crossbow rapidly while on the move, stopping only momentarily to execute the step and pull. Within three shots he had it nailed to a science,
The bard had just loaded a bolt and lifted his gaze back to the enemy when he saw something pale and gray-skinned far up on Aegis's right, climbing slowly out of the lake. Time to pay back a seriously important debt! He kept aim, measuring his distance as the hostile shape slowly rose to its feet. His finger pulled back on the weapon's trigger.
There was a ghastly wail as the crossbow bolt impaled the ghoul through the head. Aegis twisted about at the sound, and then hopped rapidly away from it as the ghoul slashed at her. Its fingers passed within hair breadths of her arm, and then she was slashing forward and down, complementing Garrick's bolt with a few heavy, overhanded axe blows. Xzar twisted about to gape incredulously at the bard, who smiled and shrugged.
"I saved your dirt!" the blonde man laughed innocently.
Aegis's last swipe took the ghoul's head and shoulder off from the rest of its body. With a shriek of joy she flung herself back into the front of the battle; her next swing sent two kobold bodies flying through the air. Xzar quivered as if in fear or pleasure, turning a curious and almost reverent gaze back to his lover. Xan frowned. Minsc echoed her enthusiasm with a laugh. Jaheira pushed forward, a little surprised by Aegis' cry but appreciative of what battle lust could do to a person.
Khalid saw the carnage as he took yet another irregular dispersal of arrows against his shield. A confused and worried expression turned down the corners of his mouth. This is our aging friend's child? We sensed so much between the lines; things never spoken aloud. What was it he would have told us had he not perished that day?
More kobold commandos spilled forward from around the other side of the island. They seemed to be rallying each other, and when they next fired they loosed high into the air. "Incoming from above this time!" Imoen exclaimed.
"Mithil do yolos, kaag ahrk folul-!" Edwin hissed, red light shimmering between his long nails.
Qomorah vith-" Dynaheir was chanting.
The defenders lifted up their shields, trying to get into position to protect the casters from this altered threat. Branwen cursed, reflexively grabbing for Xan as Xzar backpedaled into Minsc and Jaheira (who was not at all happy to be so close to him). Khalid moved quickly to try and protect the Wychlaran, but Dynaheir had been in the middle of casting another lightning bolt when the rain of arrows collapsed on them. Short of risking his own life, Khalid couldn't get between her and the enemy, and there was also the rest of the party to think of.
The arrows fell nearly vertically. Two ricocheted around Dynaheir, and by the telltale blue glow around her she had cast mage armor to defend herself. A third arrrow hit her hard, and she lost spell with an exclamation of pain and frustration. Khalid got into position to defend her as she crumbled to her knees.
Edwin had been an instant faster and his choice in spell did not require a perfectly clear line of vision, so he still had the shields and bodies of his party to rely on. His red-hot bead of energy rocketed out over their wall of shields and plummeted down into the tightly nestled collection of archers. When it touched down, it rippled outward in a large orb of flame and sent a wave of heat flooding briefly across the chamber. An arrow scored open the Red Wizard's robes and tore a gash in his arm, but comparatively speaking he was unharmed.
"Dynaheir!" Minsc cried, abandoning his place in the wall of shields to rush to her side.
"Bloody fool!" the Red Wizard snarled. "We need shields, not dramatics!"
"Something is coming!" Xzar chattered as the party folded momentarily back on itself. Then abruptly he grabbed Xan's arm, disrupting the elf's next sleep spell. The enchanter made a sound of surprise, wrestling the magic back under his control and then looking startled at Xzar. "The cleric!" the madman warned.
"Gods we're doomed," Xan sighed as Mulahey exited the central cavern, sneering visage taking in all the chaos and disorder. The smell of roasted kobold flesh was bad enough to gag on. Shielded in part by his positioning and by the kobolds surging around him, Mulahey was too far away for anyone but perhaps Dynaheir to have easily hit, and she was currently gasping past an inconvenient arrow in her lung. Xan saw Mulahey's gaze alight on Aegis, and knew the man didn't have to be a wizard or even remotely clever to realize arrows were veering around her.
Xan lifted his hands rapidly to counterspell. He was wondering if his efforts would be enough when Xzar came up beside him to help; but unfortunately the necromancer took a hard graze to the side at just that moment, and with his robes temporarily on fire, he lost his focus. "Garrick!" Jaheira shouted. "Use your lute to signal her, as per the plan! I'm going to join her ahead of you!" She bolted past dazed and frightened kobolds.
Aegis's song was interrupted by the partially savaged remains of dispel bursting across her, the waves sucking at her with a tingle as numerous magical protections were peeled back. She heard the bardsong then suddenly, and realized the circumstances of combat had changed. The surreal music echoed loudly- much too loudly- around in the confines of her skull. She staggered slightly to the side, swiped a lunging kobold to the side, and then looked around confused for what had happened.
Then she felt a sharp tug on her arm, and she stumbled to the side just as two arrows whipped past within inches of her face, and no Protection from Arrows spell diverted them. She threw up her shield arm almost reflexively, catching another volley and kneeling down as Montaron stepped past her to stab an onrushing doggie monster.
"Mont-" Aegis sputtered dazedly.
"Shield!" he warned, and she lifted it up to catch another arrow.
Minsc had hurried up to Branwen with Dynaheir in arm, gratefully accepting the islander woman's aid in mending his fallen companion, while Khalid moved to his previous location to guard the front of the party.
"You had one job!" Edwin was shouting at their enchanter. "One job! "Counterspell the cleric!" See if the necromancer is still as disinterested in your spleen and eyes if your failure ends up killing his brightbird!"
Xzar sneered, irritated with the Thayvian. "For what it's worth," he reassured Xan in a languid voice, "I have no plan to harvest your organs unless you find yourself no longer having need for them. Him, on the other hand..."
"Oh that's lovely," Xan moaned. "But what's the point? At this range we can't see him well enough to predict him. We'd need invoker and conjurer both to help catch the next spell, and- What is he-? Mulahey is not casting a normal spell, Xzar."
"What do you see?" the tall man asked, touching his wounded side and grimacing at the red pigment that came off on his fingers. His vision nowhere near as keen as an elf's.
"He has a rod in hand and he's chanting; he looks ready to break it. I can't make out the words."
Xzar considered all the possibilities. Then his eyes glazed slightly as if he were sensing something. He hissed suddenly in recognition and then turned away to pounce rapidly down on where of the kobold bodies was.
"Wait! What did you realize!?" the enchanter called.
"Problem!" Xzar answered. "Half-elf," he called to Khalid, "help me!"
"W-what!?" Khalid exclaimed, whirling to look at the necromancer as Edwin pushed past him to loose another fireball as far as his range would permit onto the island. He just barely managed to clear the entire necessary distance.
The flames exploded outward, gobbling up new kobold archers, but when the flash cleared the cleric still remained there, unburnt, untouched. Edwin cursed in Mulhourandi because he'd failed to consider an important variable. Edwin's own fireballs made little more noise than a hot rush of displaced air, and even the kobold yips might have gone unnoticed from within Mulahey's cavern if the half orc were not particularly expecting a full frontal assault. But Dynaheir's lightning bolts had been so loud that the cleric could never have possibly mistaken two consecutive booms.
And Edwin had underestimated just how many preparations this paranoid Cyrite had gathered in preparation for an attack! While the group had been burning through kobold bodies, the half orc had been applying layers of protection scrolls!
"Try acid!" Imoen suggested to him when another of her arrows bounced harmlessly off Mulahey's armor. "It's less commonly used!"
"Find something more productive to do with your time than lecture a Red Wizard of Thay on spellcasting!"
Xan was slightly shaken up by his failure to counterspell. The sickly elf's cyan eyes darted back to the sight of whatever it is Mulahey was doing, and he couldn't help but feel cold and numb in response to the sight. He wavered for a moment, before gritting his teeth and touching slender fingertips to his brow. He felt strands of magic reaching out through the weave around him. "Energy," he muttered rapidly. "Non-elemental, wide dispersal, rapid wave, channels-" his fingers moved rapidly as if to feel the currents of magic beneath them, "-multiple subjects, negative-"
Xzar looked up at Khalid, grasping the fallen kobold's brow. "Cut off the head for me! As a spell component!"
Khalid cringed. "A-absolutely n-not!" he said as loudly and forcefully as his stutter would allow, disturbed by the morbid request.
"You can cut it off and I can help them now-" another stray arrow grazed Xzar's shoulder. "... Orrrr I can saw it off with my belt knife and we can hope everyone lives long enough that I'm able to help them later! Your choice, goody goody!"
Xan lifted his head, startled. He looked rapidly around the floor around them. "Branwen!" he exclaimed in pure certainty. "Turn undead!"
With a boom that stole all lingering heat from the air, a cold shriek rippled across the cavern. It was so horrible and ghastly that the party sensed it not with their ears but in their bones.
Branwen looked to Xan in surprise. "Turn undead immediately!" the elf demanded, not even flinching as an arrow passed within inches of his head.
The Northeim woman turned away from Dynaheir, lifting her hand high. With a shout to Tempus, she summoned her glowing blue hammer and then focused upon it with all her religious fervor. Kobold bodies wriggled around them most unpleasantly, their limbs flopping and jerking. They burst into dust clouds with loud, dry pops in a small nova around where Branwen knelt.
Wishing he had time to wipe his sword of the strange defilement he'd just taken part in, Khalid's thoughts were interrupted by a feeling of horrified surprise as a sea of kobold bodies slowly clambered to its feet between him and the forward group. "J-jaheira..." he whispered. Then he glanced quickly to Xzar, who was standing and muttering in Draconic.
Morbidity upon morbidity! The kobold head Xzar was holding rapidly sloughed off flesh and muscle. The softer tissues rotted free in huge chunks, till instants later the skull was bare. Xzar whispered to it maddeningly, running a caress over the domed forehead and then tracing out a sigil that momentarily glowed green. Then the necromancer looked over at Khalid's disgusted face and very specifically offered him the skull.
"Throw it for me," Xzar told him. "You're stronger, and uninjured. If it lands within thirty feet of anyone, they will die. Land it between us and Aegis." That was partially the truth. Partially, Xzar found unsettling Khalid in this manner to be extraordinarily pleasurable.
"Y-you can't p-possibly expect m-me to t-touch-!"
"Then I hope you trust me not to hit your wife," the necromancer told him. Khalid gaped at him. Then, as he heard Mulahey chanting some new spell, he realized he had to shelve his personal feelings.
Dynaheir unsteadily regained her feet. Edwin threw forth a streamer of acid and then gave a vicious 'Ha!' of delight when he finally scored a hit on the cleric. Mulahey didn't falter in his casting however, and didn't lose the spell. Minsc roared and charged into the kobold zombies behind him. Branwen boomed another enthusiastic cry to Tempus. Xan looked back up at Mulahey chanting and tried to anticipate his next move.
He won't try fear; the elf thought rapidly. He's bright enough to recognize the bardsong. Sleep? No harm to us. Charm? No, not the right threads, I'd know. Hold Person! Xan cursed, realizing he was too late. He was still weak from abuse and his wits were addled, but that was no excuse to fail the party when otherwise they could all end up doomed! There was nothing he could do against undead!
Xzar threw the skull. Thirty feet was outside his normal range, which made throwing it mid-combat extraordinarily inadvisable. "Back up!" he said immediately, and Khalid scrambled after him (pulling a very distracted Xan along) as the skull tumbled through the air and then plummeted down into an enormous mass of kobold zombies. It hit the ground, but did not bounce. A green glow burst forth from its eyes and it levitated swiftly up into the air. It was face-to-face with a kobold zombie, and it dove forward to plummet straight into the undead monster.
There was a ghastly torrent of sound as black waves exploded out from the impact, rippling out in a range thirty feet in radius, covering a surface area nine times the size of Edwin's fireball. Zombies writhed and contorted vehemently and then the negative energy seemed to explode forward and out of their bodies, writhing up to join the shadows on the floors and walls. The bodies crinkled up and shrunk in on themselves. The skull hovered in place for a moment as everything else dropped to the ground and shriveled up around it. Then the shadows sucked back in with a tense snap and the skull burst away into dust.
Xzar giggled. "Thanks for helping," he cooed to a mortified Khalid. Gone was the majority of all the kobold zombies who had stood between them and Aegis.
"Incoming!" Xan exclaimed as Mulahey's hold person spell burst into the now tightly knit group.
"Oh poopy," Xzar muttered, and then the spell instantaneously froze him and Xan both. Garrick almost managed to dodge the spell's range in time, but the shimmering energy managed to ensnare him, freezing him-mid lunge. Branwen went rigid. Ironically, this did not stop her from continuing to turn undead, which required little more than intense devotion and the firm presentation of her hammer.
"Oh boy," Imoen muttered, throwing down her bow in frustration and pulling out her wand of magic missiles. "I've done have enough of this! Eyfur yol!"
Minsc had turned again to batter away zombies from behind them, and deliver a firm boot to those bodies that had been thrown into the water and were now determined to get back out again. Dynaheir began to cast her own magic missiles, sending them out to pummel the cleric. They were not the best spell in the world for damage; but there were no magics a cleric might know that would prevent them from striking true. As Edwin threw his next acid streamer, nearly a dozen lavender projectiles flew after it, pelting the surprised cleric across the lake. At last! They were finally hitting him!
"Keep pretending to be useful!" Edwin laughed at Imoen. "It is almost working! We cannot advance and we need to keep him pinned down!"
Most of the kobold archers were dead, but there was no means to push forward with half their members frozen in place. The surviving kobolds and most of the undead were clustered up repelling Aegis, Jaheira, and Montaron; which meant dealing with the cleric had turned into something of a caster show-down. They needed to keep Mulahey occupied!
"Eyfur yol!" Imoen repeated and Dynaheir echoed with the full spell. One last streamer of acid from Edwin sent Mulahey backpedaling for cover, bringing excitement to his assailants that victory could be near. Imoen beamed. Edwin rolled his eyes at her.
"By Loviatar, your pronunciation is agony on the ears!" he taunted with a laugh. "I will get him out of hiding with a bit of conjuration. Let us finish him." He grinned broadly and seized up a small pouch of spell components from his belt. When he started chanting, it only took Imoen a moment to realize he would attempt to summon a monster.
Imoen kept her wand leveled at the priest's rock; she heard the half-orc chanting but reasoned he wouldn't be able to cast anything truly powerful without peeking out from beyond his rocks; and she could pull off a magic missile with a wand faster than Dynaheir! The second he showed himself, she'd blast him for sure!
Then she saw the gleam of something around the edge of the rock. What was-? A mirror. He was using a small polished piece of silver to aim at them. Imoen's eyes widened and she realized they had all dramatically underestimated the cleverness of a half orc.
Beside her, Edwin suddenly gave a strangled gasp, his spell cutting off and his eyes glazing over. Imoen looked quickly at him as he gazed around dumbly for a moment.
"Are you hurt?!" she demanded, worried.
"It is a charm!" Dynaheir shouted in warning. "Minsc!"
Edwin turned a slow predatory grin on Dynaheir. The Rashemi woman's eyes narrowed; her fingers rapidly going through the motions for the Scorcher spell she favored for close combat. Charmed or otherwise, that smug look on Edwin's face spoke volumes of how little the Thayan had been able to resist the cleric's mental 'suggestions'. In time with her Scorcher, Edwin began casting his fireball.
"Feisty one!" Minsc exclaimed, confused and running back towards them with the intent of booting Edwin in the face. He had no idea what the fireball would do to them both if Edwin managed to cast first. Imoen's eyes widened.
The thief dashed forward in the nick of time, crashing into Edwin with all her weight and her negligible strength and bearing him down to the ground. The Scorcher spell exploded in a line through the air behind her as Dynaheir tried to divert the flame. Imoen landed on top of the startled Thayvian, grabbing at his arms as he tried to roll over, and wrestling to keep him pinned.
"I've got him!" she shouted to Dynaheir, struggling to try and pull one of the wizard's arms behind him so that she could pin him with it. He snarled and writhed under her. "I've got him! Dynaheir, the cleric!"
Dynaheir stared down at Edwin for a moment. Her fingers moved, but she didn't speak. Glancing up at her, Imoen realized the older woman was shaking. Her eyes widened. "Dynaheir..." she said slowly. "The cleric..."
The Rashemi woman looked at her with an almost frightened expression. She was young, Imoen knew, only a few years older than herself an Aegis. She was young, and Edwin had once boldfaced stated he planned to assassinate her, and there was every reason in the world for her to want to hurt him at that moment. But Minsc's tentative, "Fiesty one?" knocked her out of her defensive stupor. She looked around and tried to get a bearing on exactly where the cleric was.
"He cannot cast any other spells while holding the Red Wizard charmed," she realized. She had one spell memorized that might do the trick; it had the range she needed, and she didn't have to see her target precisely. "Perhaps I can buy time for everyone to recover, then, and free the Thayvian all in one move..." Minsc remained at her side as she went through the elaborate gestures of her trade. "Viidost su voth-"
Edwin started muttering, and Imoen realized with alarm that his arms were liming up with red energy as he prepared a Burning Hands. She scrambled to try and get control of both his limbs, but somehow he was keeping one arm tightly beneath him and managing the somatic gestures at the same time. Oh this is going to hurt-
"-sahlom!" finished Dynaheir. Out shrouding the cleric's hiding place, a small poisonous cloud erupted into being, its noxious vapors writhing and twisting like serpents.
Edwin's skin had just begun to heat up, scalding and blistering Imoen's palms. Then he suddenly sputtered and twitched violently, losing the spell. Wherever the cleric was, he wasn't inclined to givie up such a powerful conjurer lightly. Edwin flailed and writhed as Mulahey tried to focus on dominating him and maintaining control. Then the Red Wizard's eyes rolled up in his head and he slumped, breathing heavily into the stone floor.
"Edwin?" Imoen asked with a wince, her blackened fingertips aching as she grabbed his shoulder and shook him.
The smell of burning flesh actually had more of an impact on him then the shaking. He shuddered and blinked rapidly, his gaze coming back into alignment as he surveyed the ground around him.
"Edwin?" she called worriedly. "Are you okay?"
"I am absolutely fine, except there is an inordinately heavy fool on my back! Lay off the muffins and release me!"
Imoen gave a dramatic sigh of relief, crawling off of the dangerous conjurer as he got to his knees.
"Thayvian," Dynaheir snarled, "I have helped thee back to thy senses, but if thou turneth one spell towards me-!"
"Hush, you are aggravating my rapidly worsening headache, witch," the Red Wizard muttered. "I am back in control. Though it is a shame the silly pink girl tackled me. (I would have had the perfect alibi.)"
"They would have rather we'd all killed eachother in a flaming explosion!?" Dynaheir snarled.
"Of course not; I quite like myself. My robe is protected against fire, and I would have been fine. You and your dullard, on the other hand..."
Dynaheir flushed angrily as Imoen clambered to her feet, the thief clutching the wand of Missiles painfully in her burnt hands. "Not now, please," she begged the Thayvian. "I already smell like Montaron's cooking, and we're like just on the cusp of surviving this! If you two get in a throw down now, we're all-" she looked at Xan. "Doomed," she giggled apologetically to the frozen man.
Edwin glanced at Dynaheir, who was still badly injured. Then he looked at Imoen, who was already pointing her wand at the clouded area where she knew the cleric to be. He caught sight of her ruined gloves and blistered hands. Very calmly, in front of both of them, he pulled out a healing potion and drank from it for the wound he'd taken on his arm.
Dynaheir shuddered, shaking her head in disbelief of the wretched man. Imoen gave him a lazy and irritable look. "You are like the worst person I have ever met," she told the Thayvian with a laugh. "I don't think I've ever met anyone as ungrateful, conceited, or self-centered as you. And I've had sex with Montaron."
"I am still wondering why you are talking to me if you believe what you say; the gods know I have been trying to get you to stop for days."
"Oh go stare at yourself in a mirror for awhile why don't ya, you giant red peacock! And brush your hair while you're at it, you're a mess!" Edwin glanced at her, his lips pressed together wide and the corner of his mouth quirking with irritation and amusement. "That's how he got you by the way; he peered around the corner with a mirror. I saw it just before it happened."
"Clever for a half-orc," Edwin muttered thoughtfully.
"What now?" Imoen asked. "Do we hold or push forward?"
"In a short while longer these fools he's trapped will be able to move again. We need to advance. Your sister is getting over the bridge, and we have no visual on our unusually clever half orc friend. Likely he will back up into the cave to avoid dealing with us all at once."
"He has a lair, and Montaron says its trapped," Imoen reminded him. "He'll face us there. Do you have another fireball in ya?"
"You disrupted my last spell of that nature," Edwin told her irritably.
"Well then! Let's not make it easy for Mulahey to secure his position!" she tucked her wand back into her belt and then reached into her cloak and pulled out an entirely different wand. Edwin noticed it and grabbed for it immediately, but she laughed and held it outside his reach.
"I am the Wand Queen here, vassal!" she proclaimed, giggling. "And you didn't give me a healing potion after burning me, so nyah!"
"Do you so relish the thought of accidentally hitting your sister?!" the Red Wizard growled.
"Asks the man in funny red robes of the beautiful and talented young markswoman?" she teased.
"Or mis-triggering the wand and causing it to detonate, killing all of us?" Edwin growled, reaching for it again and sneering when she didn't give it to him.
"Well then, I'll repeat after you, peacock. Like your very own pet monkey! Tell me how to say it. The second word of the trigger is 'Viidost' and the first word's 'Qomorah.'" She glanced behind her and then stepped into the clear and aimed carefully at the zombies over on the island. Edwin followed her gaze for a brief moment and then sneered at her.
"Petulant child. Fine. Quomorah viidost, most likely."
"Quomorah viidost!" Imoen mimicked him perfectly, and her lightning bolt exploded and backwards like a white-hot snake, blowing twice-fried kobold-commando-zombies through the air. She missed hitting her sister's party by a wide margin, and then grinned smugly up at Edwin. {Thank you for the lesson, Teacher,} she cooed happily in Mulhourandi.
{You are so irritating...} he muttered, turning about and striding towards the front of the party as Xan and Xzar each broke free of the enchantment. Branwen stumbled to her feet and hurried up to help heal Dynaheir the rest of the way. Imoen hurried after Edwin while Garrick got up with a wince and lifted his lute back up to play.
"I-is e-everyone alright?" Khalid called worriedly, looking over the group as he dealt with another stray kobold zombie. He glanced in admiration at where his wife was calling out to the forces of nature and doggedly carving a path over the bridge with Aegis on point. They had almost finished with the kobolds and zombies both.
"Remarkably, it appears no one at all has died," Xan surveyed. "Color me surprised."
"What is the color of surprise?" Xzar asked him in bafflement. "Is it yellow or perhaps a lime green? Unfortunately I have neither pigment on hand."
Xan looked up at the tall man for a moment. Then he shook his head. "You may simultaneously be the most innocent and depraved man I have ever met. The dichotomy is far beyond unsettling."
"Interesting. I wasn't thinking about dichotomy, I was thinking about dimorphism. You really do look quite like a woman, and though I was never confused on the issue, I appreciate how less observant persons could form incorrect impressions of your gender."
"... Was that entirely necessary of you to say? Elves are quite capable of telling the difference, thank you."
"Well, I was after all just frozen staring at you for over a minute. So I began considering sexual dimorphism in bipedal organisms; and I believe I have determined a set of hypotheses you might try in order to more readily establish your gender so that people do not look surprised when they first hear your voice. For example: your hairline is unfeminine, so you likely would gain some advantage from tying your hair back to expose it. Likewise you may consider wearing clothing that demonstrates the higher and more narrow illum of the pelvic structure. Of course running around in a loincloth would probably also suffice."
There was absolutely no answer for that. "Thank you Xzar," the enchanter decided was safest, "your concern for my social acceptance and your attention to my anatomical details are at least as heart warming as they are bone chilling."
"D'aww," the necromancer mumbled happily, and hugged him.