To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "a story's just ink on a page until a reader comes along to give it life." This in my way of saying, I'd really like to know what you think.

CHAPTER 38: LADIES OF THE CHORUS

LADIES OF THE CHORUS: Romance, circa 1949. In her first starring role, Marilyn Monroe plays Peggy Martin, a chorus girl turned burlesque queen. There's an almost nonexistent plot about Peggy and a rich society boy falling in love (yadda, yadda yadda… let's not pretend there's a surprise ending in store, here.) But the real interest is in watching Marilyn Monroe before she became Marilyn Monroe. Her voice is a little throaty, but it hadn't achieved its trademark breathiness, yet. Her eyes widen in innocent surprise or lower in equally innocent invitation, but with only a fraction of the magnetic pull they'd later exert.

MORAL: Icons exist to beguile. But the process of becoming is even more captivating.

Yami opened his eyes. He moved his neck and rolled his shoulders, wondering why they ached. He blinked and tried to focus on his surroundings. He was on the couch in Kaiba's game room. He was sitting up, or rather half sitting/half leaning against Kaiba. Kaiba was still asleep; his head lolled against the top of the sofa cushions. Yami peeked around Kaiba's body. Mokuba was lying on his stomach, sprawled across the rest of the couch. He was drooling a little. There was a small wet spot under his face.

Yami shook his head to clear it and grimaced a little. He started to piece together the night before. They'd watched the grainy video feed from the raid. Kaiba hadn't spoken beyond satisfied grunts when something went according to plan. Yami had leaned forward, eager to catch his first glimpse of Daichi Taka's hideout. He'd been disappointed. "It looks like a warehouse."

That had drawn a bark of laughter from Kaiba. "Were you expecting a supervillain's lair? Then again, Daichi Taka is short enough to be a mini-me… and as we all know, the smallest people can have the biggest egos."

Yami had made a note to pay Kaiba back for that crack at a later date, but he'd been too glad to see Kaiba's smug smile to object.

"I'm surprised he doesn't have more people around," Yami had added as the raid had progressed.

Kaiba had snorted. "The fewer people he surrounds himself with, the fewer who can take him down. That's straight out of Gozaburo's playbook."

The video feed didn't include sound. They'd watched until it was over, almost as silent as the images on the screen. Mokuba had fallen asleep midway through.

"Yes!" Kaiba had said as they'd led Daichi Taka out. There was no mistaking the exultation in the single word. One of the strike force members had flashed a thumbs up at the camera. Kaiba had thrown his head back and laughed in triumph.

Yami had stared at him in wonder. Kaiba's face had been suffused with joy... betraying a contentment that Yami had rarely seen on it. He remembered Kaiba saying once that he could only love himself in the moment of victory. Yami was glad he'd seen that moment for himself, but he refused to measure his own victories in milliseconds of time.

As the video feed ended, Kaiba's smile began to fade.

"It was a success," Yami had reminded him. Kaiba had grunted in answer. Yami's last memory of the night had been of Kaiba staring at the now blank monitor.

Yami shook his head one final time, fully awake now. He grinned. He wanted to embrace Kaiba, he wanted to dance around the room and hug himself. There'd been something special about the night, about seeing the results of their work, about having been a part in it. For the first time since Egypt, he'd mattered, he'd made a difference, he'd taken a chance and won. The sharp tang of success, so closely akin to the thrill of dueling, was back, just when he'd become resigned to never feeling it again.

Yami glanced at Kaiba, unsure whether to wake him. He remembered the deep smudges under Kaiba's eyes, how his hands had shaken slightly. Yami tried to ease himself off the couch without disturbing Kaiba, but as soon as he shifted, Kaiba's eyes popped open.

"Go back to sleep," Yami urged.

Kaiba shook his head. "I'm awake." He looked around. "I have to get up and go to work, anyway."

"Take the day off," Yami urged.

"For what?"

"To celebrate?" Yami suggested.

Kaiba scowled. "What's there to celebrate? Cleaning up the mess I created and then overlooked? Those mines were stolen under my watch in the first flush of my victory over Gozaburo. I was so busy consolidating my power I ignored everything I'd started that fight to accomplish."

"The world has less weapons in it today than it did yesterday," Yami said sternly.

Mokuba picked his head off the couch, then scrambled upright. "You mean we spent the whole night on the couch? Cool!"

Yami laughed, willing to drop their argument.

Kaiba got up and stretched. He checked his watch. His kitchen staff would be arriving soon. "Go take a shower and get dressed," he told Mokuba. "By the time you get down, breakfast should be ready."

Mokuba groaned but headed upstairs. Yami shook his head.

Kaiba turned to Yami. "I better get ready, too."

"Kaiba… please get some sleep. I'll get Mokuba ready for school. Isono can drive him."

"No! Sleep is the last thing I need!" Kaiba pressed his lips together. He hadn't meant to shout. But any unscheduled sleep now would result in a loss of work time and that would have to be paid for later. He was still hoping to see Yami alone later this week.

Kaiba noticed Yami staring at him and lowered his voice as he added, "I'm not celebrating. Not in this. But… we talked about going out, before. I'd like that… and I still owe you a date or you owe me." Kaiba paused, unsure why he'd brought obligation into it. He was doing this because he wanted to, even if the idea of wanting was still so alien he couldn't quite wrap his mind around his own desires.

And Yami had said yes, had said it before Kaiba had even finished asking. Why was he questioning it now, trying to turn it into something safer, something both familiar and distant? Kaiba wanted to rub his eyes, but that would start Yami babbling about sleep again.

Yami watched as Kaiba's scowl started to etch itself into his features. He put his hand on Kaiba's arm and shook it gently, as though nudging Kaiba's thoughts off their well worn track.

"I'm as eager as you. Where are we going?" Yami asked.

"It's a surprise," Kaiba said with a smirk to cover up the fact that he didn't have a clue. "I'll pick you up on Thursday." That way he had a couple of days to figure it out… and he'd have an official date under his belt before losing another four hours of sleep to spend Friday night with the loser brigade.

Kaiba dropped Mokuba off at school, ignoring his grumbles, and then delivered Yami to the game shop before heading to work. He considered using Tamashiro as a resource on the elevator ride to his office. She'd been married. That meant she must have gone on at least one date at some point in her life. It was hard to imagine her as a teenage girl, although now that he thought about it, he was willing to bet that she'd been a bit like Anzu. He made a face, glad for the anonymity of the elevator. He could ask Tamashiro. But she'd baked him a cake.

He exited the elevator with his traditional scowl firmly in place. Tamashiro nodded to him as he walked past her and entered his office. He breathed a sigh of relief as he closed the door behind him, glad that the moment for asking had passed.

He sat down and glared at his computer. He refused to type in a search for "Ten places to go in Domino," or something equally repulsive. The last time he'd gone out with Yami alone – the only time, really – had been that day they'd taken his boat to the beach. He smiled remembering kissing Yami in the water or on the sand, lying next to him, their hands touching as they'd talked. Somehow in the chaos of the weeks that had followed, he'd found the time to rebuild a death simulation chamber, but not the time to take a boat ride.

Kaiba grinned. Yami had liked that trip, too. He'd said so. The weather was cooler now, but his ship was heated. There was something right about sitting under the stars with Yami. Kaiba narrowed his eyes. There was a restaurant where you could moor your boat and the waitstaff took your order electronically and rowed the food out to you. Kaiba grinned again. He'd found something for Tamashiro to do. She could research the place and get him a reservation.

Yami met Kaiba at the car on Thursday, mystified by Kaiba's instructions to dress warmly. The fall air was far from cold, even in the evening. He smiled as soon as he realized they were heading to the pier. "What a wonderful idea!" he said as he got out of the car and walked to Kaiba's boat.

Kaiba steered to boat to the restaurant. Dusk was falling. Tiny white lights had been strung along the piers at the restaurant as if stars were coming home to rest on the horizon. Kaiba pulled up to his reserved spot. "We don't have to get out. They'll row the food to us." He looked up. "And we have the best view in the house."

"It's beautiful," Yami agreed looking at Kaiba framed by the sky. He leaned into Kaiba and kissed him.

After dinner they let the boat drift from the pier until they were alone as they lay and watched the stars. Kaiba unbuttoned his coat. Yami's eyes gleamed. Kaiba' navy blue shirt was fastened solely by a row of easy to undo pewter snaps.

"Next week it's my turn," Yami said.

"Your turn?" Kaiba asked.

"You did all the work this time. Next week I want to take you somewhere. I want to surprise you."

Kaiba stared at him, his mouth slightly open. Yami already had. Every time Yami went to any trouble to please him, to try and think of what he might want, it surprised him. Kaiba watched as Yami's expression changed, as his face took on the same deer-in-headlights look Kaiba's had worn as he'd tried to think of a place for them to go. He smirked. "It's not easy doing the planning, is it?"

"I had no idea," Yami admitted. Then his face cleared. He could ask Yugi or Anzu. He had this in the bag.

"You have to think of a place on your own or it's cheating," Kaiba said, correctly interpreting the relief that had flooded Yami's face.

"What? That's ridiculous."

"No, it's not. I want to go wherever you want to take me. Not to whatever stupid place Yugi or Anzu think we should go," Kaiba said, his voice flattening out.

Yami nodded. He still thought Kaiba was being absurd, but he couldn't help being flattered that Kaiba considered his inexperienced ideas better than anyone else's.

"I was surprised that the raid didn't make the news," Yami said as he leaned against Kaiba. Kaiba's arms came up around him.

"An international team took control of the site." Kaiba's chuckle raised the hairs on Yami's arms. "As far as anyone knows, Daichi Taka is fine and open for business."

Yami's laugh was equally feral. "Good."

Yami stared for a moment at the stars as though he could read his destiny in them. Maybe Kaiba had been right all along. Maybe he didn't need stars or omens or external forces. Maybe he was enough. Maybe he'd always been enough.

"I understand why you can't relax," Yami said slowly. "Even if we find every weapon Kaiba Corporation ever unleashed on the world… there are other weapons out there… other missiles… other mines… maybe not as well-designed as yours but just as deadly. Even after we've done all we can to erase Kaiba Corporation's contribution, the problem will remain."

"Giving up so easily, Yami?" Kaiba taunted.

Yami shook his head and smiled. "Just the opposite. Do you remember telling me that no destiny could be mine unless I made it for myself?"

Kaiba nodded.

"I understand now… what it means to find your own way. Helping you find those weapons… it was like a duel, wasn't it? Like we were fighting Dartz again or Zorc. The names are different but the battle is the same."

Kaiba nodded again.

"And that road of battle continues. It will always continue as long as there are those willing to sell themselves to darkness. As long as I have breath to oppose them, no matter the millennia." Yami flashed his trademark grin. "Helping rid the world of its discarded weapons…. that's a destiny worth having."

"Off to save the world again?" Kaiba asked, his softened tone belying the flippancy of his words.

"No. It's not about saving the world. It's about picking my own piece of it and..."

"...and standing your ground," Kaiba finished with him.

Yami nodded and burrowed against Kaiba's side. "There's a lot I have to figure out and more I need to learn, but I'm ready to start." He chuckled. "I better look up the tournament schedule. I'm going to need some money in addition to what I've already made on the stock market."

"Stock market?" Kaiba asked, raising an eyebrow.

Yami's expression achieved maximum smugness. "The stock market is a game, too."

Kaiba laughed. "I should have known. So why are you still working at that crummy little game shop?"

"Don't call it that!"

Kaiba laughed again. "What? A game shop? You're right, it's barely a business."

"How dare you?" Yami growled, leaning up and away from Kaiba.

Kaiba wrapped his arms around himself and sat up. He felt colder without Yami. He should have known.

"I told you before to stop insulting him, " Yami continued in a quieter voice.

Kaiba shook his head. His bangs fell forward as he hunched into himself. He hadn't been insulting the old man, exactly. Sugoroku made some kind of joke about him every time they met. Every question he asked made Kaiba feel like he'd got the answer wrong in some alternative universe where it was okay to be wrong, where someone could laugh at you and you felt welcomed instead of mocked. It didn't make sense but it felt... okay in an odd way. It was just one more new thing he was kind of getting used to. Reminding the old geezer that his game shop sucked helped.

"What's going on?" Yami asked, still in that same soft voice. He put his hands on Kaiba's crossed arms and gently untangled them. "I thought you liked Sugoroku."

Kaiba frowned, puzzled. He was glad the fight seemed to be over. He wasn't sure what caused it except that he shouldn't bring up Sugoroku's name unless invited to do so. And he wasn't sure how to answer Yami's question. Did he like Sugoroku? He supposed that he did. Despite the way every conversation went sideways, Sugoroku was easy to talk to – if not (apparently) about. "He's okay. I'd just as soon see him as anyone else. Well, Bakura's acceptable too, I guess."

"Bakura?" Yami asked.

Kaiba shrugged. "He doesn't talk much." Even Kaiba knew that he couldn't stay in a corner with an old man all night on Fridays. But if he sat next to Bakura, he could work out his latest programming glitch or troubleshoot coding in his head while the rest of the room left them alone. Kaiba didn't mind Yugi either when it was just Yami's family, but for a quiet guy, Yugi had a knack of ending up in the center of a loud, obnoxious, chattering crowd.

Yami stared at Kaiba, wondering what was going through his mind. "You like him because he's quiet?"

Kaiba shrugged. "It's not important."

"You're important. To me. You know that, don't you?" Yami asked.

Kaiba didn't answer. He made an instinctive movement to recross his arms, then caught himself and leaned back again.

Yami sighed. He was missing something. He knew it. But he also knew that he had to let Kaiba work things out at his own glacial pace. With another, more inward sigh, Yami slid back into place, resting once again against Kaiba's chest. "Whenever you're ready, I'll try my best to listen."

Kaiba nodded. His mumbled, "Okay." was almost swallowed by the night air.

"I'm glad you picked this for our date," Yami said after a pause. "That day on your boat… that was the first time I really believed that I could have a life here… that I could have an identity…" Yami smiled. "That I could even find a destiny here."

Kaiba nodded. His grip tightened around Yami. "I know. I'd always set up parameters – no, constraints – for who was and what I could be and do. And that day, when I got home I realized that somehow, without noticing, I'd moved outside of them. It was the first time it struck me that I could do that, that it might be okay… that even if I did, who I was was still within my control."

"Yes."

Kaiba chuckled. "So that was the day you figured out that life's more challenging when you don't have a puzzle to retreat to?"

Yami grinned back. "Or when you don't have irrational fits of anger to fall back on?" Yami reached up to stroke Kaiba's cheek. "I'm glad it was special for you, too."

"It felt like…" Kaiba started.

"A new day," Yami finished with him.

"It was the first one I'd had in a while," Kaiba admitted.

Yami's smile turned impish. "I've learned something else, today."

"What?"

"You're not the only one who likes to see his rival wearing snaps." Yami leaned over and with a swift motion, unfastened the row of closures on Kaiba's shirt. "You're right. This is fun."

Kaiba's chuckle was hastily choked off as Yami began kissing his torso, stopping as usual, to brush the scars that littered it, before setting down to leave marks of his own. "They can't be erased or covered over so easily," Kaiba reminded him.

Yami looked up, startled.

"It's okay," Kaiba said, pushing Yami's head back down where it belonged. "I don't mind watching you try."

.

Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter and making sure that I gave Kaiba and Yami some privacy ;-)

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I liked the idea that Yami was quietly building a stockpile of cash by taking the money he's earned as a games tester and investing it in the stock market – after all, the stock market's a game, too. I tried to think of what Yami might want to do, and given his history both in Egypt and later in Domino, I think whatever he did, it would be important to him to feel like he was helping to make the world a better place.

I thought about Kaiba saying at Battle City that the reason people want to win so badly is so that they could love themselves in the moment of victory. That was so sad to me, because he was admitting that winning was the only way that he could – even momentarily – feel good about himself. I wanted to show that carrying over here, where in the instant of success, Kaiba is triumphant and even happy, but without holding onto that sense of satisfaction before feeling only a deep sense of responsibility and guilt.

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Thanks to everyone who's reviewed. I really look forward to hearing from you (to be honest, it makes my day!) I try to write the story in my head to the best of my ability – but it's incredible to get a glimpse of how it looks to someone who's reading it. I can't express how encouraging it is. Please review.