Oh god... This was so painful to write and I have a strong feeling you're all going to hate me... After this all that's left is the Epilogue, which I will post as soon as possible.

My musical inspiration for this chapter was one of the saddest songs I know, My Immortal by Evanescence. It put me in the perfect state of sadness to write this and I honestly shed several tears as I wrote. It was just so difficult... I'm sorry everyone... Just know that I'm crying too.

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Chapter Thirty-Six

(Two Months Later; 30th of Frostfall 204 4E)

"Mama, mama!" Faolan's voice woke her.

Lassarina groaned and opened her eyes to find her son standing in front of her, his hands clutching the blankets and his pale-blue eyes wide and eager. Exhaling sleepily, she smiled at Faolan and reached out to ruffle his messy bedhead.

"Morning, sweetheart," she mumbled. "Where's your sister?"

Faolan looked over to the door just as Lyanna ran inside, her doll dragging on the ground as she held it by an arm. Then she had two pairs of pale-blue eyes looking at her expectantly.

She chuckled a bit. "Did you want something?"

"Food!" Lyanna answered.

Lassarina sighed and rolled onto her back, wishing the twins hadn't learned how to climb out of their bed so she could sleep a while longer. But such were the responsibilities of being a mother; she had to feed them.

"All right, you two, go back to your room and I'll get started on breakfast."

Faolan nodded obediently and ran out of the room, Lyanna following him a moment later. Once they were gone, Lassarina rolled onto her side and stared at Vilkas, who was snoring softly.

"Quit faking, I know you're awake," she told him, poking his stubbly cheek.

His lips curled up in a smile and he opened his eyes. "Doesn't hurt to try."

Lassarina chuckled and moved so she was straddling him, kissing him almost lazily and lightly scratching the nape of his neck. Vilkas growled a bit and rolled them over so he was on top, kissing her with much more fervor. She let out a soft moan when his kisses trailed down and he nibbled on the sensitive skin of her neck.

"Vilkas," she breathed. "I have to make breakfast for the twins."

"Would it be too much to suggest just cutting up a couple of apples and then have you rejoin me in bed?" he asked her teasingly.

"Aye, it would. It's cold outside and they need something hot first thing in the morning."

"I'm having something hot right now," he chuckled as he hiked her night shirt up and squeezed her breast.

She giggled and gently shoved him off. He protested, reaching out for her and trying to drag her back into the bed, but Lassarina easily squirmed out of his grasp and grabbed her pants off the floor. As she started to slip them on, she felt Vilkas's hand smack her arse lightly and she whirled around, jumping back into bed and pinning him beneath her.

"You dare smack the mighty Dragonborn's arse?" she asked dramatically.

"Aye, I do, cause it's the loveliest one on Nirn," he told her, pulling her down for a kiss.

She stayed in bed with him for a few more minutes, enjoying just being in his arms. After she and Einarr had returned from Sovngarde and slept for two days straight, Lassarina had told Vilkas about seeing Kodlak—both of them—again. They had both been somber for the days following, Lassarina constantly expecting baby Kodlak to be running up to her, and Vilkas for having to see his wife become washed in her sad pain. But they had moved past it after a while and fell back into their life before she and Einarr had been called upon to defeat Alduin.

Lassarina spent every moment of every day with her family. Playing with the twins, both of whom were exceptionally happy that their mother was no longer disappearing every other day, and reconnecting with Vilkas. He didn't bear a grudge over her drugging him, though he used it as ammunition on a regular basis to make her feel guilty and do more . . . activities in the bedroom. She didn't complain though, since she loved her husband emotionally and physically.

"All right, I'm leaving before you start something we won't be able to finish," Lassarina told Vilkas, giving him one last kiss before climbing out of bed. "Get dressed and bring the twins down in a few minutes."

Vilkas sighed heavily. "Aye."

Lassarina went downstairs and whipped up a quick breakfast of oatmeal for her children, finishing it just as Vilkas brought them downstairs. Both twins were seated at the table, and she placed the bowls in front of them before holding a piece of jerky to Vilkas's lips. He gratefully bit into it and ruffled Faolan's hair as he sat down. Moments like this were cherished by Lassarina, even if it was just a simple, quiet breakfast with her husband and children. For a little while she had believed she wouldn't be able to have moments like these any longer, since the prospect of death had always been looming over her and Einarr's head. She was thankful she didn't have to worry about it anymore.

"Do you two want to go to Uncle Farkas and Aunt Avyanna's to play with Trystane?" Lassarina asked her children after they had finished their breakfast.

"Aye!" they answered in unison.

"Alright, let's get you dressed then and we'll head on over."

She quickly dressed the twins and herself and they walked the short distance to Avyanna's house, both Faolan and Lyanna holding her hands as they walked while Vilkas followed. Lassarina let Lyanna knock on the door, since the almost two year old seemed to want to assert herself a lot more lately. She was definitely Vilkas's daughter, stubborn and determined, eager to show she was tough and letting her emotions guide her a little more often than her brain.

Farkas was the one to answer the door, looking completely exhausted; the bags under his eyes a clear sign of evidence.

"You look like shit, Farkas," Vilkas commented sympathetically.

"Avyanna needed some rest, so I stayed up all night with Kellen," he explained, pressing the heel of his palm into his eyes.

"Where is the little bundle of joy?" Lassarina asked, letting Lyanna and Faolan run into the house in search of Trystane.

"Upstairs. Anna's feeding him right now."

Lassarina nodded and headed upstairs to Avyanna and Farkas's bedroom, finding the new mother cradling her newborn, staring at him with complete adoration as she fed him. Avyanna looked up at the sound of the door opening and urged her to come inside. She made her way over to the chair and practically melted at the sight of her nephew.

"I just can't get enough of how adorable he is," she murmured, gently stroking the little bit of hair her hand with a finger. "He looks a bit like Faolan did when he was a newborn, only with hazel eyes."

Avyanna hummed and burped Kellen once he finished his meal. "Want to hold him?"

"Aye, give him to me."

She held Kellen and smiled down at him, cooing at him softly. He had only been born a couple of weeks ago and had all the other toddlers jealous by how much attention the adults were giving him. Lassarina carried him downstairs so Vilkas could have some time with him as well, and Avyanna followed her. Poor Farkas had fallen asleep slumped over the table, but they left him alone, since he desperately needed the sleep.

"He's under the impression that one of us always needs to be awake with him," Avyanna told them, smoothing down her husband's hair. "I don't think he's gotten more than a nap since Kellen was born."

"He's such an ice-brain," Lassarina sighed, though there was affection in her voice.

"I can understand how he feels," Vilkas said. "I stayed up all night the first week in case the twins cried."

Kellen gurgled in her arms and Lassarina's eyes softened. "He's so cute."

"Just say the word, love, and we can make another one."

"Or I can just steal this one."

"Hey, you're crazy if you think I'm letting you take my son," Avyanna chuckled.

The door to the house opened and Rohan walked in, carrying a large package in his arms. Since Kellen was born, the teenager had taken to sleeping at Jorrvaskr to give his sister and her husband one less person to worry about, since they had their hands full with Trystane and now a new baby.

"Lassarina, some courier dropped this off at Jorrvaskr," Rohan told her, placing the package on the table.

She passed Kellen to Vilkas and untied the twine that kept a bundle of letters attached to the box. When she saw the familiar symbol of the Thieves Guild stamped on the wax seal of the envelopes she knew right away what it was that had arrived.

"Brynjolf's reports?" Avyanna guessed.

"And Einarr's birthday present," Lassarina added with a smirk, opening up the box and pulling out a bottle of Black-Briar mead that Maven only produced for nobles she was trying to butter up. "Had to give Maven a friendly reminder that she's only jarl now because of me to get some of this stuff. She only gives it to important people after all."

"What, the Dragonborn isn't important?" Rohan said sarcastically.

"Let's just say Maven doesn't really care for me. She thinks I'll be the reason her connection to the Guild is revealed and ruin her reputation. As if her horrible personality doesn't do that already."

She reached for one of the letters that had been sent with the box and smiled when she read it was just a personal one from Brynjolf, once again thanking her for coming to his wedding. A month before, Lassarina traveled to Riften with Vilkas and the twins to be there when her second and closest friend married Amelia. Apparently he had proposed to her the moment she had returned to Riften from Blackreach, but she said she'd only say yes if Lassarina and Einarr defeated Alduin. Sure enough, news of the dragon's demise traveled to Riften and she received an invitation only two weeks after she returned from Sovngarde.

"I still can't believe Einarr won't let us throw him a party today," Avyanna sighed. "It's his birthday, for Shor's sake."

"He's done this every year since we returned to Skyrim," Lassarina told her as she opened another envelope with Maven's seal. "He doesn't like people making a fuss over him. He's rather just have a few drinks and fall asleep in a drunken stupor." She skimmed the letter and sighed heavily. "Great . . . looks like I'm being called to work."

Vilkas narrowed his eyes at her. "What do you mean?"

"Maven want's me to go to the meadery down the road. She think Mallus is stealing from her and wants me to deal with it since I'm closest."

Her husband frowned, but nodded. "I'll go put on my armor, then."

"Vilkas, you don't need to come with me. I can handle Mallus; he's already afraid of me without bringing an intimidating warrior with me. Just stay home with the twins."

"But–"

"Vilkas, I'll be fine. I dealt with Alduin; I think I can handle a skinny Imperial."

It took a little more stubborn arguing, but eventually Lassarina won the fight and Vilkas agreed to let her go, once she promised him that she'd just beat his ass the minute she walked in. She wasn't really going to do that, since she preferred her own method of intimidation, where she pretended to be the person's best friend right before she turned into the meanest bitch to ever walk on Nirn. Deciding to get it out of the way quickly, she went back to Breezehome and changed out of her casual clothing and into her Thieves Guild armor. Once she had her ebony blades attached to her belt, she was ready to go.

She nodded to the guards at the gates as she walked out of the city and made her way over to the meadery, Black-Briar West. She knocked on the door once she got there, but didn't receive any answer. Finally, after nearly five minutes of waiting she decided to just skip the correct way of entering and picked the lock. Lassarina let herself into the building and found it completely dark, the only light coming from the dusty windows.

"Mallus?" she called out. "Are you here? We need to have a little chat."

Just like she expected, she received no answer. Sighing heavily, she pulled out one of her blades and started to cautiously search the meadery. She found signs that someone was still living here, looking at a half eaten crust of bread and the still full tankard of mead. Touching the bread, she felt that it wasn't hard; in fact, it felt like it had been fresh baked that day. That's when she heard the floorboards above her creak. Mallus was still there.

Sighing, she made her way upstairs, and as she approached the bedroom, she tried talk to him. "All right, Mallus, let's not turn this into a big thing. I'm going to come in and if you're stupid enough to attack me, I won't hesitate to kill you. I'm sure Maven won't have any trouble replacing you."

She paused for a moment, waiting for Mallus to answer her as she hovered just outside the door. When he didn't answer, she slowly pushed open the door, finding Mallus sitting at his desk, his back to her.

"Both hands on the table, Mallus," Lassarina ordered, walking over.

Mallus did as she asked without protest and she quickly searched him for any weapons. When she found none, she sat on the desk and looked at him. His eyes had a haunted look to them and he looked extremely conflicted and guilty.

"Mallus, I think you know why I'm here," she started out in a sympathetic voice. "Maven says you're stealing from her. Are you?"

"Would you believe me even if I said I wasn't?" he asked, his voice hoarse.

"Probably not. I'd still look through all your books and search your belongings to see if you had a substantial amount of coin lying around."

"Then why both asking me?"

Lassarina sighed and knelt beside Mallus. "Look, I don't want to be your enemy here. Maven says she isn't receiving the expected amount. I'm just here to collect and make sure you never do it again. It would make my job a lot easier if I didn't have to hurt you to get that point across. So just give me Black-Briar's money."

Mallus refused to look at her, but he moved his hand to a drawer and pulled out a large sack of septims.

"How much is in there?"

"A little over a thousand," he answered.

"Okay, now where are your books? Maven made it clear to take your books too."

Mallus hesitated and she could make out an inner struggle in his eyes as he pointed to the door nearby. "They're in there."

"Stay here," she ordered him as she rose to her feet and started walking over to the door. "And don't try anything."

As she reached the door and placed her hand on the handle, she couldn't help but notice that the wood was damp, soaked in something that had a very distinct scent. She was just opening the door when she thought of what it could be.

Is that . . . oil?

"I'm sorry," Mallus murmured just as she opened the door and the fire pot fell from the ceiling.

The explosion sent her flying back, and her head hit one of the bed posts, knocking her unconscious. When she opened her eyes, the whole room was on fire-the walls, the floor, even the ceiling-and Mallus was throwing a torch down on the bed.

"Mallus," she groaned. "What did you do?"

"I'm sorry," he told her. "I didn't have a choice. It was either this or die."

Lassarina glared at the Imperial man and tried to get up, only to find out she couldn't move her body. Her heart began pounding in her chest and she saw Mallus frowning at her.

"It won't work," he told her. "I slipped you a paralytic poison. You won't be able to move for hours. The whole building will be destroyed and you'll burn with it."

"Mallus, please, don't do this," she begged him.

"It'll be quick. I left some oil kegs in the bar and in the storage room. When the fire reached them, this whole place will blow."

"I have children. Please, you can't kill their mother!"

"I'm sorry," he told her once more as he moved to the door.

"Mallus! MALLUS!"

The door slammed shut and she heard his rapid footsteps disappear downstairs and out of the building. Lassarina struggled to breathe and choked on a sob as she tried to force her body to move. She couldn't die, not now, not like this! Her panic only grew as the fires quickly spread through the room, surrounding her and burning her flesh through the leather armor. But she ignored her pain and focused on getting herself to move. She cast a healing spell on herself and it helped, giving her a bit of control over her body once more. Getting up on shaky legs, she hissed at the stinging pain that spread over her and stumbled toward the door. She had her hands on the knob when she heard a horrifying crack directly above her. She looked up just as the ceiling beam fell.

oOo

"Before the ancient flame," Aela spoke with a shaking voice as she began the funeral rites that hadn't been spoken for a couple of years.

"We grieve," all the Companions said in unison.

It just didn't feel real. Einarr could barely comprehend what was happening, trying to pass it off as some sick dream, but it was all right there in front of him. On top of a pyre they had built on the Skyforge, her body lay completely wrapped in linen.

"At this loss," Athis continued.

"We weep."

He hadn't expected yesterday to go the way it did. He had thought that he'd spend the day with his friends and family, celebrating his thirty-fifth birthday. He thought they would feast and drink. Never once did Einarr expect a guard to come to Jorrvaskr and tell him how there had been a terrible accident. Never once did he think to find himself running to the still-burning building. Never once did he think that he would find Vilkas on his knees, sobbing while he held a charred corpse against him.

Vilkas . . .

He had refused to come. Refused to acknowledge what had happened, choosing to ignore everyone and lock himself up inside Breezehome with the twins. Faolan and Lyanna didn't understand what had happened, and for that Einarr was extremely thankful. He didn't want his niece and nephew to understand what had happened. Better they forget and hopefully hold onto their early memories.

Farkas stepped forward with unshed tears in his eyes, separating himself from his wife, who was sobbing almost hysterically while holding her newborn son to her chest. "For the fallen . . ."

"We shout."

Finally it was Einarr's turn. He didn't want to speak the words, not trusting himself not to start weeping and cursing at the gods. None of this was meant to happen. Everything was supposed to go back to normal!

"And for ourselves," he said, his voice shaking and his body numb.

"We take our leave."

Finverior had been given permission to light the pyre before the funeral had started, and he placed the torch by the straw at the base. As it quickly caught fire, he released it and turned away from the scene, shouting curses and blaming the gods for such a tragedy. Einarr wanted to join him, but just stared at the burning pyre while his daughter sobbed beside him, Rohan hugging her in a vain attempt at comfort.

This shouldn't have happened. They had no idea how the fire had started, and Vilkas seemed to blame himself, saying how he should have gone with her. Einarr had thought that after Alduin was defeated things would get better. But they didn't, they only got much worse.

Why did my sister have to die?

Next chapter: The epilogue

I hope you all enjoyed the chapter and remember to Fave/Follow/Review!

Much love,

Mirage