Chapter 38: Mayhem Marathon Materializes
As Mordred predicted, the week did indeed herald the start of Development: Mayhems shenanigans, as the products from the Triple W were all modified slightly by the Slytherin Triumvirate. On the Tuesday morning during first period, several huge explosions shook the school, as on various floors several crates of fireworks were all set off at the exact same time. Dragons made of green and gold sparks soared through the air, spitting fiery blasts as they went; shocking-pink Catherine wheels five feet in diameter were whizzing lethally through the air like so many flying saucers; rockets with long tails of silver stars bounced off the walls; sparklers wrote swear words in the air that stuck, firecrackers exploded like mines, gaining in energy and momentum as they went. When Umbridge tried to Stupefy one of the rockets, it exploded with such force that it knocked everyone in the hall down while tearing a hole in several of the portraits. When one of the IS members tried to Vanish one of the rockets, it multiplied into ten rockets that zoomed all around the area, crashing into one another and destroying the area.
While Umbridge and most of her IS members were busy with the explosions, the walls of the school were spray painted with various messages, some of which were on fire. The students and teachers all looked at the messages as they dodged the fireworks.
"'All Your Base Are Belong To Us'?" Ron read with curiosity as he, Harry, Hermione and Buffy walked down the corridors to their Transfigurations class, "what sort of mixed up nutter would write that on the wall?"
"You should see what's been written in and around the girl's washroom," said Hermione before reciting some of the ones she read, "'Nobody dies a virgin, life screws us all.' 'Self-improvement is masturbation, Self-destruction is the only real answer.' 'The beatings will continue until morale improves.' I mean honestly, whoever wrote those is obviously perverted beyond belief."
"Not to mention extremely depressing," said Harry as they went into the class, "the things I read on some of the walls had such cheerful messages like 'Only after disaster can we be resurrected', 'It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything', and 'On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero'. Whoever wrote that sounds almost suicidal."
"Can you blame them with Umbridge as Headmistress?" asked Ron as Neville came over to sit with them, "I think I kinda get the message 'This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time' now."
"You guys should have seen Filch try to wash the messages off," said Neville excitedly, "every time he wetted the letters they'd burst into flames. His buckets all caught on fire and he had to cover them all up with dirt."
"Sounds sorta like Napalm," said Buffy, drawing blank looks from Ron and Neville. She then explained what Napalm did to the two bewildered students.
"It's creepy when the messages 'Cthulhu lives', and 'We Are Watching You' all glow in the dark or burst into flames," said Neville with a shudder, "I mean, the one about watching us even has an eye that moves wherever you go."
"That's just it moving back and forth," said Hermione, but Ron then tapped her shoulder.
"Actually, I've seen it," he said, "and it does follow you around wherever you go."
"Must have a motion-sensing spell on it," said Harry, "like some Muggle cars do." He was about to explain some more when one of the firework Dragons flew into the room, emitting loud bangs and spouting flames.
"Miss Brown," asked McGonagall sardonically, "would you mind running to the Headmistress and informing her that we have an escaped firework in our classroom?"
It turned out that all the teachers had taken to getting Umbridge to take care of the various fireworks that had gone about the school. She spent the entire day running from classroom to classroom, answering the summons of all the teachers who waited on her to take care of the fireworks for them. Their collective excuse for not taking care of the fireworks themselves was that they 'weren't sure if they had the authority to take care of the fireworks due to Decree #26'. By the time Umbridge sat down at lunch, she was covered in soot, sweat and blood.
"She seems to be having an awful time," said Hermione as Buffy, Harry, and Ron all began eating their food. Hermione had just begun tucking into her own meat pie when Umbridge began gagging.
The students and teachers all watched as her tongue swelled up to ten times its' normal size and dropped into her plate before turning green and sprouting horns. She tried to lift her head up, but the horns had poked into and locked on the table, and she could only stare on in fear and pain as her tongue quickly dried out and began cracking and emitting pus and blood from the cracks. She cut her hands on the horns while trying to wrench her tongue off of the table, but she only succeeded in breaking off pieces of her tongue up in the process. She was assisted by the IS, who cut their hands grabbing up her tongue as they tried to move her to the hospital wing, accidentally breaking pieces of her tongue off as they went along. A picture of her was taken and used by the Weasley twins to help sell their Ton-Tongue Toffees, along with some horn-growing powder added by the Development: Mayhem.
As the weeks went on, it became routine that Umbridge would be poisoned by one of their products, be it in her tea she took in the morning, during lunch, dinner, or anytime she fancied a snack. It also became common for her to miss her own classes in the following weeks due to her being covered in bleeding warts, her bones disappearing in various limbs, or her evacuating blood from every orifice available on her while her body warped into whatever hideous design caused by the products spiked into her food. She attacked the House Elves, the students, her fellow Professors, and anyone who was around her after Madam Pomfrey cured her each time.
On the Friday, the Weasley twins decided to pull their final prank there, putting a Portable Swamp into the fifth floor of the east wing of the school. They set it up so that it would go off during one of Filch's inspections there, causing him to become mired in the swamp as it grew all around him and covered the entire area of the school corridor into a smelly swamp. Before they could get too far however, the IS caught up with them outside the Great Hall, costing the Gryffindor team two hundred points in total. The Twins looked over the IS as Umbridge came running over as fast as her stubby legs could carry her.
"So," she wheezed, as she had just been cured from yet another one of the poisoned food items she had taken, "you two think it is amusing to turn a school corridor into a swamp, while you believe another of your products has left me too incapacitated to do anything about it?"
"Well, we do have to admit," said Fred in a fearless manner, "that without you we probably wouldn't have been able to sell as many Skiving Snack Boxes as we have."
"Your pictures have allowed us to triple our sales at the very least," said George, "and for that we figured what better way to thank you than to make something that's almost as foul, disgusting, smelly and useless as you are? Hence, the swamp."
"Granted it may not be as disgusting and foul," said Fred daringly.
"Or smelly and useless," added George, smiling wickedly.
"As you are," said Fred with a grin.
"But it's the closest thing we could come up with!" They both said in tandem. Umbridge's face went crimson red as she clutched her wand in fury.
"A further one hundred points off of Gryffindor. You two," she said gazing at Fred and George, "are about to learn what happens to wrong-doers in my school."
"You know what?" said Fred as he turned to his twin, "I don't think we are."
"What?" Umbridge asked, the shock of him keeping his cool completely baffling her. "Sixty points off of Gryffindor!"
"George," said Fred, "I think we've outgrown full-time education."
"Seventy points off of Gryffindor!" shouted Umbridge, but the twins ignored her.
"Yeah," said George lightly, "I've been feeling that way myself."
"Another sixty points off of Gryffindor!" shrieked Umbridge.
"Time to test our talents in the real world, d' you reckon?" asked Fred.
"Definitely," said George.
And before Umbridge could say another word, they raised their wands and said together: 'Accio brooms!'
A loud crash came from Umbridge's office as two Cleansweep brooms came flying through her door, one of them trailing a heavy chain and iron peg off of it. They both stopped in front of the twins after ploughing over some IS members. Umbridge was so shocked she forgot to continue taking points off of Gryffindor.
"We won't be seeing you," Fred told Professor Umbridge as he swung his leg over his broomstick.
"Yeah," said George, as he mounted his own, "don't bother to keep in touch."
Fred looked around at the assembled students, and at the silent, watchful crowd.
"If anyone fancies buying a Portable Swamp, as demonstrated on the east wing corridor on the fifth floor, come to number ninety-three, Diagon Alley," he said in a loud voice, "Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, which is our new premises!"
"Special discounts to Hogwarts students," added George before pointing at Professor Umbridge, "Who swear they're going to use our products to get rid of this fat old bitch."
"STOP THEM!" shrieked Umbridge, but it was too late.
As the IS closed in, the Weasley twins kicked off from the floor, shooting fifteen feet into the air, the iron peg swinging dangerously below. Fred looked across the hall at Peeves the Poltergeist, who was bobbing on his level above the crowd.
"Give her hell from us, Peeves." He shouted over the din.
Peeves responded by taking his belled hat from his head and springing to a salute as the Weasley twins tossed some dung bombs at Umbridge to tumultuous applause from the students below before turning around and flying out of the open front doors into the glorious sunset. Umbridge then glared at the IS, before stomping away while ignoring the pleas for help that Filch gave her from his spot in the center of the swamp. The IS took the time to try taking away more points, but after several members got Jinxed and Hexed by unknown students they cleared out, with the Triumvirate leaving last after each awarding Gryffindor sixty points under their breaths before hitting poor Filch with a Silencing Charm and a Full-Body Bind Jinx while a Garrotting Gas fog filled the air in the swamp.
After that, it only got worse for Umbridge and her IS, as they all ended up getting their food spiked by various Skiving Box items or Cursed randomly by passing non-members. The Triumvirate were immune, as they pointed out that they were using Taltos's venom to toughen themselves against tainted foods as well as PaniChaos' tears to help them heal. Whenever Umbridge tried to teach her classes, all of her students claimed illness, with non-IS members (including a few Slytherins) claiming it was 'Umbridgeitis' as everyone was using Skiving Snack Boxes to develop symptoms such as fainting, vomiting, develop dangerous fevers or spout blood from their nostrils or mouth. Umbridge tried to hand out detentions, but when the IS members also began exhibiting symptoms (as their food was being spiked) she had no choice but to allow the afflicted students to leave in droves. DA members used this time to work on spells in smaller groups, so although Harry led main ones once a week, other smaller ones were self-run by others who wanted to practice the spells they learned during lessons. All that they needed was one member of the Triumvirate to watch over them so they wouldn't get caught, and the groups flourished. Even Umbridge's own office was no sanctuary for her, as Nifflers were placed in there by students, causing not only the destruction of her office through the Niffler's search for shiny objects, but also attacking Umbridge whenever she appeared, due to her rings and jewellery. A cage of Cornish Pixies was floated under her chair by Faith one night so that the next day they'd damage Umbridge's office when they woke up.
Mordred set off that night to 'go do something special' as he told the others, leaving the Slayers, Dawn, and the Golden Trio to wonder what he had in mind. During the weekend the Slayers Patrolled with Spike, while Dawn thought up of some new ways to help Mordred cause havoc while adding points to all the teams (even though the three other Houses were all losing points so fast any points she and Faith added just disappeared within an hour afterwards).
On the Monday, Mordred came back to a Hogwarts that had a massive cloud overhead. When the others asked what he had been up to he only smiled and looked up into the sky, as if looking for something. During the lunch, Draco went missing for a bit while Mordred went to the top of the Astronomy Tower with Draco's wand. When the Triumvirate were sure no one else was watching, he then shot a brown bolt of energy into the clouds above them, Conjuring an immense glowing Monkey head with wings for ears in the sky. It opened up its mouth and from it poured a swarm of flying Demon-monkeys so thick it was black in appearance. Mordred dropped Draco's wand and ran off with the Triumvirate down to Snape's office as the creatures attacked Hogwarts. They burst through all the outside windows in one shove and began attacking everything and everyone they could. While some of the DA members hid in the Room of Requirement, Buffy stood with the Golden Trio in defending Gryffindor Tower. The Triumvirate formed a circle with Snape and blasted the creatures as they came to them. The flying Demon-monkeys then attacked Umbridge and lifted her into the air before flying over the lake and dropping her into it. They repeated the same process to other IS members except Malfoy, whom they left alone for some unknown reason, as well as Edgecombe and a few other students (most had fled back to their dorm rooms to defend their turfs, with Hufflepuff and Slytherin both having the advantage of having Dungeons instead of Towers to defend.) The Heads of House mostly defended their own turfs, with the Triumvirate helping out Snape, as they watched the flying Demon-monkeys' attack everything. The flying Demon-monkeys flooded the bathrooms with Peeves and Myrtle's help, as they both wanted to help cause havoc as well. The flying Demon-monkeys then used cans of paint that combusted with water to set the flooded areas aflame, leaving entire halls to burn out of control.
The Heads of House, along with some students and staff, waited a while before acting, as they wanted Umbridge to try and solve the problems herself. The Heads all got together and closed off the burning halls with Magic, leaching the air out of the areas so that the fires died out on their own. They then set up a spell that the Triumvirate had used with Snape to create a giant ball of sunshine, which they used to fry all of the flying Demon-monkeys into burnt goop as they went all over the school. By the end of the day, not a single area of the school was spared, as there was destruction and burnt goop everywhere. There was also a message in the sky that was being written by the remaining flying Demon-monkeys.
"'Surrender Dorothy'?" read Ron as the students and teachers all looked at the cloud-formed words being made in the sky. "Who's Dorothy?"
"No, it says 'Surrender Dolores'", said Hermione as she pointed, "the 'Dorothy' is being crossed out. Guess they can't spell that well." Buffy however burst out laughing at the message, as did Dawn and Faith. Dawn punched Mordred in the shoulder.
"You just had to add that reference, didn't you?" she asked grinning at him, "as if there weren't enough Wizard of Oz references as it is."
"Maybe I'll go hang a midget," said Mordred grinning evilly, "just to give this the right touch."
"Don't you dare," said Faith, "the only midget around is Flitwick, and I kinda like his class."
"Ok, I'll hang some Gnomes and Dwarves instead," said Mordred, as they headed off to their dorm to help clean up. "I hope Umbridge finds Draco's wand, it'll be funny seeing him try to explain his way out of this."
"How did you make those things?" asked Dawn in a whisper. Mordred then grinned wickedly.
"I used that Cross-breeding spell that was mentioned back at that debate to mutate some Gremlins with flying monkeys," he said, "so that they'd be quick to make as well as quick to kill if there was too many of them. Just add water to make them and sunlight to kill them."
That got Dawn to laugh, as she then told Faith who went on to tell Buffy during Patrolling that night. When she came back, she told the Golden Trio that night, getting a laugh from Ron while Hermione looked on in worry.
"How did Mordred manage to cross-breed those species?" she asked curiously, "Gremlins don't mate as they multiply in water, so how did he manage to get the flying monkeys to go through pregnancy with them?"
"I didn't ask," said Buffy disgustedly, "it's too icky for me to think about."
The next day, Umbridge had the entire school line up in the Great Hall before breakfast (trying to ignore the corpses of the hanged Gnomes and Dwarves that were now decorating the ceiling instead of candles), and she and some Aurors checked everyone for missing wands as she held onto the wand found in the Astronomy Tower. She checked the Gryffindors first, triple checking Harry's and only leaving him when the Aurors suggested he might have had someone else do it for him. Slytherin she ignored until last, and only at the urging of Auror Shacklebolt did she even bother looking over the Slytherins.
"You don't want the Ministry to think you're giving preferential treatment, do you?" he asked smoothly. She then went to the first in line, and she tested each one. She went for a while, until she got to around Malfoy and his goons.
"Crabbe, do a spell," she ordered before watching him to a spell to her satisfaction. "Malfoy, your turn."
But when Draco tried to do a spell, his wand jumped out of his hands and began beating him over the head.
"It's one of the fake wands," whispered a grinning Ron to the others, "the twins would love to hear that Malfoy got beaten up with one of their wands."
When Umbridge showed Draco his wand, he snatched it from her hand to the shock of everyone.
"I didn't do that spell," he whined, "I'm being framed."
He was then led off to Umbridge's office, proclaiming his innocence the entire way.
"Bet his father gets him off," said Hermione with a frown, "he practically owns the Ministry as it is."
Sure enough, the next day Draco was let off and apologized to by Umbridge via a one hundred point bonus to Slytherin. She then told the IS to redouble their efforts in finding out the DM, as she believed it was they who had caused this mess. There were still a few flying Demon-monkeys fluttering around the school, so the IS were made to attack them whenever they saw them, and Umbridge had become even more paranoid, as someone had used Elf-like Magic on her slippers and shoes to make her Apparate over the Forest, where she fell into the trees just outside of Hogwarts grounds.
"I hope she lands on top of the Centaur herd," said Hermione as they watched Umbridge suddenly disappear during a mid-lunch rant as she was stomping her foot. "I'd love to see the Centaurs' reaction when she insults them for being part-human."
This happened several times that day; until she stopped wearing shoes altogether. This gave some students the idea to Transfigure mice and insects to have spikes on their backs and to follow her around, so that by the time dinner came around she was bleeding profusely all over her feet and limping visibly while leaving a trail of bloody footprints wherever she went. Hermione was even getting into it as well, creating some small birds that Buffy attached exploding devices to go attack Umbridge.
"It serves her right," she said to Harry and Ron in the library, "after all those cruel things she's said and done to half-humans."
"Aren't you worried you'll get caught?" asked Ron, although not to concernedly as he was grinning after Hermione had sent off her birds.
"Not really," Hermione replied, "after all, just some time ago somebody Transfigured all the Dragon statues to fly around her and attack her. The gargoyle statue now attacks her whenever she gets anywhere near it, and Peeves is always throwing stuff at her from above."
The two boys laughed along with Hermione.
"You're forgetting the best part," said Buffy, grinning wickedly. "Whenever she goes to the bathroom, Myrtle sets up the toilet she's on to spray water every time she sits on one. It's a free enema with every pee." The others went into howls of laughter at this, getting a very irritated Madam Pince to shush them all up so others could study.
During Patrolling that night, Buffy asked Faith and Mordred what they had on plans for next.
"As much fun as all this bashing Umbridge is," she said evenly, "we do have to pass some exams that are coming soon, not to mention practice for the final two Quidditch games."
"Yeah, I know," said Mordred, "I've been thinking about what to do next, and after seeing all the points we've added being taken away I believe that now is the time to make our points system raise to 'ten points per minute'," he said with a wave of his wand, "as that will help your House, as well as the others, get back some of the points they've lost so far."
"Thanks," said Buffy, "I really appreciate that."
"Yeah, I do believe that kindness should earn an extra 'fifty points to our own House of Slytherin'," said Faith with a grin while waving her own wand.
"Let's make that 'eighty points to Slytherin'," Mordred said with a broad smile as Buffy then shook her head at him.
"Don't break your arms patting yourselves on the backs," she said warily, "how many points does your team have now? Several million?"
"Almost that," replied Mordred, who then did some rough calculations in his head. "Let's see, since April when it began we've been adding at least five hundred points a day, more or less from each member giving anywhere from ten to sixty points in a day, so after almost two months we've gotten about thirty thousand points, not including the ones given to us by Umbridge and Professor Snape."
"Not to mention all the other Professors," added Buffy.
"They have been taking away more points than they've been giving," said Mordred, "just the other day Slytherin lost sixty points from McGonagall just because Draco was stupid enough to talk back to her during class. But then again, he just added those points back right then and there, causing McGonagall to go into a fit." The three of them then found some small-time monsters like Mumblers and Boggles to Slay, before heading back to the Castle.
The next day, during break before Transfiguration class, Umbridge's office was destroyed during lunch, as a massive explosion of fireworks was set off after Dawn had Levitated them through her window and into the fireplace, where it was set off via Faith simply tapping into the Floo network there from the Slytherin dorm. All of her cat pictures were destroyed, and every flammable item was burned into ashes. Her fireplace was destroyed and caved in, and her own owl was killed, leaving her with no way to contact the Ministry save through the school owls. She had been driven from her own office, and as the anonymous assailants were harassing her, she received no help at all from the other staff members. Filch was still stuck up to his waist in the corridor swamp, which the students now avoided except for some for them to send random Hexes and insults his way, so he was no help to Umbridge. The other teachers didn't help her either, as Buffy had noticed with Harry one time that when Peeves was trying to loosen a crystal chandelier, McGonagall had been there whispering instructions on how to do it properly to him from the corner of her mouth. Also by that time, the students had all taken to performing Bubble-Headed Charms on themselves, as Dung bombs and Stink Pellets were dropped by so many of them that by the time somebody had gotten rid of one, five others took their place.
"It's too bad that Slytherin gets to play their last game after we do," said Ron on Thursday before practice, "I mean, the original system made sense, as each team got a break before playing again, instead of back-to-back like this."
"Yeah, Umbridge really screwed everyone over," said Hermione darkly, "except for Slytherin. I guess she wanted them on her side so the best way to get them on her side was to make sure that they had a chance to win the Quidditch Cup."
"You must be proud of your sister and cousin's accomplishments," said Harry to Buffy, "I mean, they've only scored about a Zillion points for Slytherin during the Slytherin-Ravenclaw match, and since we have to play next, even if we do win your sister Dawn will make sure that she only gets the Snitch after Faith has knocked out the Hufflepuff Seeker and Keeper. Mordred has blocked every shot taken at him so far, he moves too fast for any penalties to be scored on him."
"Oh well," said Buffy, "there's always next year." This got scowls from Harry and Ron before she clarified. "I mean, next year there'll be no Umbridge, Rumpletore will be back, and the Quidditch schedule will be back to the way it was."
"How is it you can say Quidditch properly," asked Harry keenly, "but you get sloppy with Dumbledore's and Voldemort's names?"
"Don't know why," replied Buffy, "but I have some news as well from Patrolling; Mordred will be teaming up with Lee again to commentate this Saturday."
"That's kind of good," said Hermione, "both of them have been itching to have a go at one another verbally ever since the Hufflepuff-Ravenclaw match, as this is Lee's last year here."
During practice, Harry and Hermione watched from the sidelines across from Umbridge and the Slytherin team. The Slytherins had taken up to singing their anti-Weasley song while the Gryffindors came out, but various things happening to Umbridge disrupted them. First, when she went to sit down, her seat trapped her in ropes and carried her to the top of the row, where it dropped off and fell to the ground fifty feet below. When Draco tried to stop it with a Levitation Charm, it exploded into flames, burning Umbridge on the way down to the ground. When other IS members doused her with water from their wands, the fire turned into ice, freezing her solid. She had to be carted away to the hospital wing while the IS looked on, allowing Ron and the other Gryffindor Quidditch players to practice in peace for at least a half-hour before returning to their song of "Weasley King".
On the Friday, the Slytherin team had practice so the DA meeting was held late in the evening. Cho didn't show since her team was practicing as well, and several other Ravenclaws didn't show either except for Luna, who had come to their meeting wearing the Raven-Hat that Mordred had made for her. During the class they went over various spells they had learned in pairs. When Hermione and Ron had to patrol the hallways due to their Prefect duties, Mordred teamed up with Harry to practice Disarming, but once they were out of sight he began chatting while practicing.
"Hermione and Ron better be snogging their brains out," said Mordred exaggeratedly, "or doing other things that involve that. I'm not picky."
"You're an awfully romantic guy for a Slytherin." Said Harry, causing Mordred to shrug.
"Hey, it's Slytherin ambition which brought me through this," said Mordred, "and Slytherin cunning that made me plan this out."
Hermione and Ron both then came back to the surprise of Mordred.
"We walked around the halls," Hermione said, "and everywhere we go, there are messages spray painted all over the walls."
"Yeah, and they have the most mental sayings on them." Complained Ron.
"Nothing else happened?" Asked Mordred pointedly.
"What else could happen?" asked Ron, dumbfounded.
"Damn it!" cried out Mordred, causing Ron and Hermione to look at him strangely while Harry laughed. Later on, when Harry had the chance to observe Mordred and Dawn practicing, he spoke with them in Parselmouth in between spells.
"Why are you lot so interested in Hermione and Ron dating each other?" asked Harry curiously.
"We've got a bet going," said Mordred, "I bet Dawn that Ron will be the one to snog Hermione first . . ."
"And I bet that it'll be Hermione that snogs Ron first." Finished Dawn.
"So," said Harry thoughtfully, "either way the end result is them snogging?"
"Or shagging," replied Mordred, "that'd be even better with some cameras going."
"Even at the best of times," said Harry disgustedly, "your crudeness and vile sense of humour shine through."
"It's too bad you're no longer the Gryffindor Seeker and still dating Cho," said Mordred, "otherwise tomorrow I'd be able to commentate on the various sexual positions you two would be in on your broomsticks about a thousand feet in the air."
"You're disgusting," said Harry as he left Mordred and Dawn to practice before moving on to Buffy and Faith.
Mordred had switched up with Ron, as Dawn practiced with Hermione. Dawn and Hermione practiced Disarming and Shield Spells while Mordred and Ron practiced Disarming spells, with Mordred and Ron chatting about Quidditch each time they disarmed one another.
"Well, at least I can't get any worse at Keeping," said Ron grimly as Mordred passed him back his wand, "I mean, I might get sick before the game but that's natural."
"Sure it is," said Mordred encouragingly, "I puke before every game."
"Really?" asked Ron with a surprised look on his face.
"Yeah, it makes one hungry for the win," he said nonchalantly, "and it also keeps Chasers away from you, as yah smell kinda awful after a good vomiting session. I highly recommend it." Ron went a shade of green before trying to disarm Mordred, but was blocked by Mordred's auto-shield which absorbed Ron's Disarming spell.
"I wish I could do that," said Ron dejectedly. Mordred just shrugged before Disarming Ron again. Meanwhile, Hermione and Dawn had both begun practicing Conjuring small animals, which they directed at one another.
"Avis!" said Hermione, Conjuring a flock of small birds from the tip of her wand. She then pointed her wand at Dawn. "Oppugno!" she cried, sending them after Dawn.
Dawn blocked them using a Shield spell before Freezing them all, she then performed a quick Memory Charm on them and redirected them back at Hermione, who was only just able to put up a shield of her own in time to deflect them.
"It seems we're evenly matched," said Dawn after Hermione had Vanished her birds, "perhaps we should train with the boys so that we can squash them? I'll train with Harry, you can train with your non-boyfriend boyfriend, Ronald."
"He's not my boyfriend," said Hermione blushingly, "and don't say that so loud or otherwise people will hear the wrong thing." Dawn grinned wickedly at her but didn't pursue the subject. They then switched up again, and Buffy teamed with Hermione while Dawn teamed up with Ron.
"What were you two arguing about?" Buffy asked Hermione when they were out of earshot.
"Quidditch, of course," Hermione said a little too hastily, "The trouble with it is that it creates all this bad feeling and tension between the Houses. Not to offend you, but you Quidditch players seem to think the school revolves around your sport."
"Well, the whole idea of having Houses actually causes all the tension," replied Buffy, "as if every student got graded on their own marks, instead of their House teams, then they wouldn't be all 'us versus them' regarding other Houses."
"Having Houses creates unity," said Hermione, "so that everyone has a home away from home."
"True," agreed Buffy, "but Quidditch offers a way to release the tension created by constant studying and homework through physical means. It also keeps us in shape, so it can't be all bad."
The DA class ended later on, with the Slayers and Mordred going off to Patrol after everyone else had left the Golden Trio and Dawn. Dawn walked the Trio to their Tower, and entered it with them.
"Since I'm an Inquisitorial Squad member," she said to them as she walked in with a smile, "I have a right to inspect your Tower, which means a few free points for you guys."
"Won't that make the other Slytherins suspicious?" asked Harry while Hermione and Ron sat down around the fireplace.
"They think McGonagall and a hidden Dumbledore are the ones who're adding all the extra points," replied Dawn, "as well as other teachers they've offended. Anyways, thirty points to Gryffindor for allowing me in. It's a nice place." Dawn said as she looked around the room before sitting down.
"So, what's the situation regarding the DA during exam week?" she asked Harry, "is it still on, or will it be postponed until after exams?"
"We're going to lay off of it until after exams," said Harry, "as there's too much stuff to worry about to be bothered with it. Besides, I think we've done very well at it."
"Thanks for all the help," said Hermione, "without your Triumvirate catching Edgecombe, we'd have been caught before now."
"Don't mention it," said Dawn, "besides, your Jinx on her would have shown the others what happened to tattletales anyways. We just didn't want the DA to end like that." She then looked at Ron.
"You ready for the game this Saturday?" she asked him. Ron gulped before answering.
"Yeah, I am," he said, "I mean, I can't get any worse, now can I?"
"You'll do fine," said Hermione. Harry nodded his head as Dawn repeated what Hermione said.
"You're a better Quidditch player than you give yourself credit for," Dawn said, getting a blush from Ron.
She then went back out of the Tower, giving them thirty more points before leaving. When she got down to sixth floor she passed by Buffy on the way, so they stopped to chat.
"How was Patrolling?" she asked Buffy.
"Boring," said Buffy, "there's no more monsters out there to slay."
"Boring means good," said Dawn, "you don't get hurt with boring."
"Yeah, but it makes me nervous," replied Buffy, "usually when the bad guys lay off for a bit it means they're either regrouping or getting ready for a Big Bad to come."
"It'll be a Big Bad," said Dawn, "remember, in June there's going to be a fight against the Death Eaters. We have to get ready for that soon, as well as exams."
"Gee, I can't wait," said Buffy drolly before giving Dawn a kiss on the cheek, "goodnight."
"Ten points to Gryffindor. G'night." replied Dawn, as she went down the stairs to the Slytherin Dungeon.