DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters or happenings of middle earth. They belong to J. R. R. Tolkien and sometimes Peter Jackson's stuff might fall in too. I only own my OC. Please, feel free to leave any comments and questions. Follow the story in which ever way you would like, but make your thoughts known. Thank you!

~~~~~~~~~~Shishi~~~~~~~~~~

CHAPTER 36

Deciding to start the night off fun, I walk myself over to Bofur. I want to talk to the jollier dwarves before they get passed out drunk on me and from the way they are going, it'll be soon. The toy making miner is trying to coax Duke into a game of fetch but the dog is wholly uninterested, resulting in Bofur playing catch by himself. Becoming aware of my presence, the canine stands up and rushes over; knocking Bofur flat on his butt in the process. He lets out a small 'oof' and blinks comically from his position; clearly surprised at being overtaken by a dog. Smiling at the scene I greet the pup before we both go back over to the fallen dwarf. I crouch at his side and pat his arm before glaring good naturedly at the dog.

"Duuuuke. That wasn't very nice." The dog lays on his stomach and proceeds to cover his snout. Scratching him behind the ears, I glance back at Bofur "Do you accept his apology?"

"Well ah'll be. Ye got 'em to apologize. Tha's some skill ye 'ave there, lassie." the sloshed dwarf reaches out his hand and after sniffing it cautiously, the dog extends his paw and they shake "I accept yer apology Mister Duke."

The dog yips and sprints away leaving us humanoids on our own. I shake my head before turning to the hatted dwarf with a smile. His hair curls into braids that match his mustache and I smirk. 'Even his hair is happy.'

"If I had a beard" I babble mindlessly to keep myself from yanking on the strands "I think I'd want to have one like yours."

"W-well, now." the dwarrow blushes and rubs the back of his head in embarrassment. It wasn't my intention to make him feel bashful but it's cute anyway "That's got to be the nicest thing anyone has said to me in a long while. Ever, even."

"Well then, I'll have to say it more often." I reply as he blushes harder. Dwarves and hair, what can you do? "Is it like that naturally or do you do something special to it?"

So begins my conversation with a dwarf about hair and what products to use to get banging curls and a luxurious shine. 'I've been away from t.v for too long, I'm making commercials out of my friends.' From hair we move onto hair styles, followed by hair accessories. I never had girlie talks like this with my friends back home, but I can do it with a bearded male in an alternate universe. I don't know what my problem is.

"And thats why I never eat Bananas." he finishes and I nod at his sound reasoning "Did I ever mention how strange yer bead is?"

"It's strange?" I grasp it self consciously, tugging it forward to examine the metal clasp "I-I-is it really odd?"

"Maybe strange is the wrong word." With a laugh he puts his hand to his mouth in thought "Unique. Different. Ye."

"Me?"

"Aye, it fits ye perfect." he gestures behind me, slurring heavily around his mug "i'nt tha right, Bombur?"

I turn around to greet the rotund dwarf when I get a face full of stomach. I recoil quickly but his bulk follows me down. He does his best not to land on me, but it doesn't help; he tilts away but when he collapses we look like a screwy capital 'T.' I would have laughed if I could breath, which I can not at the moment. I try pushing him off my face but he's too heavy. My chest burns from the lack of air and I start to mildly panic.

"Mmmmph!"

This is not how I pictured dying. 'She went on an adventure to fight a dragon and died? Well of course it would kill her! What do you mean she died from dwarf compression?!' I can see my mother freaking out now. Right before I start seriously contemplating coffin colors, my face is freed and I am saved from asphyxiation. Bombur expresses his deep regrets while helping me up, whereas Bofur, who I assume removed the large dwarf, looks like he's done this way too many times.

"No harm no foul." I wheeze at the apologetic male "It could have been worse."

"How so?" he asks depressed

"Bofur could have been weaker." I joke and Bombur grins slightly

"Speakin' of weak," the jovial dwarf cuts in "What did ye do to Nori?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all." I answer pulling a straight face "I blame it on the booze. It was the henny!"

"What's 'Booze'?" Bombur asks "and 'henny'?"

"A-A-A-A-A-Alcohol." I say in a sing song voice

"I did see evidence of someone being sick by the door." Bombur admits

"There was ale involved?!" Bofur grins and I regret my song "I knew there was somethin' goin' on. What did ye get him to do?"

"What?" I try to stop this train wreck by waving my arms wildly "I didn't make him do anything."

"So he was willin'! Oi, Nori!" he turns and yells in the thief's direction, successfully getting his, and everyone else's, attention "The lass was so impressive that ye went and heaved all over the place?"

The star headed thief turns white as a sheet prior to shifting his eyes to me. I lift my hand to tell him I'm sorry but he turns away quickly and literally melts into the shadows. Like ice cream down a drain on a hot day, this guy was gone. 'I probably went too far with that payback.' Bofur, oblivious to his friend's plight is laughing up a storm. I pat his arm and walk away in search of Nori; fully intent on apologizing for my earlier actions. I find him a few minutes later cleaning up the proof of his spew. He flinches as I approach and I shift uncomfortably.

"What do you want?" he huffs testily, continuing to clean the entryway floor boards "Have you come to finish me off?"

"No... I..." I was never good at apologies, even when I am in the wrong. I just hate admitting it since I can always hyper rationalize it away. I won't do that now... I shouldn't because it... wasn't fair. I should have just knocked his lights out "I came to apologize."

"Apologize?" he repeats, sitting back on his heels and turning cold calculating eyes to me "Whatever could you apologize for? Droppin' me out of the sky? Havin' me think I was going to become a pancake? Or embarrassin' me in front of everyone?"

"All of them at once I suppose." I attempt to joke but he turns his attention back to the floor as I grimace with a sigh "Look. I'm sorry, alright? It was really immature of me, and you if I might say so, but it won't happen again."

"You just don't get it, do you?" he throws the brush across the floor and I flinch as it clatters into the house "I thought I was goin' to die! You can't just run around doin' whatever you want, simply because you can!"

"I get it! I-"

"No. No you don't get it!" he cuts me off, quickly standing from his spot and facing away from me and pressing his hand against his upturned face "You can not imagine what it is like to be like us. You're NOTHING like us. We are bound to this earth in ways that you can't even begin to imagine. You can leave whenever you want but we have to live with the outcomes of this journey. The future is in your hands and you don't even care."

"What..." I'm lost as the conversation seems to dart from topic to topic. I can't tell if the dwarf is upset about the sky falling, my conversation with Gandalf, or both. Neither? As he begins pacing, I frown in confusion "...I-"

"It was the most exhilaratin' moment of my life. Crashin' down through the clouds with my heart racin', KNOWIN' that I could die. Acceptin' it..." he slowly faces me again with tears pouring from his eyes and I feel my gut wrench at the sight as he finishes "Welcomin' it."

No no no no. This is no good at all. This isn't right. Nori is unshakable, unmovable. Cool and collected, and vain to a fault. He's the dwarf that is totally on his own and proud of it. This can't be right. I shake my head refusing to believe I broke the dwarf. 'He's not a toy for you to break.' I stumble forward and feel tears start to well up in my eyes.

"Nori I'm so sorry! Please don't cry!" my lip trembles and I wipe my hand sloppily across my running nose "I pwomise nowt to do ib agin."

My words come out so garbled that they sound unintelligible to even me. The dwarf's face scrunches up causing more tears to fall from his eyes. I start wailing while fanning my eyes to keep the tears away from my own. I hear a hiss escape his mouth and I stop fanning to determine whether he is going to explode or cry some more. To my ultimate surprise, its neither. His face turns an awful shade of red before his eyes roll back in his head and he bursts out laughing. Great! No he's having a manic episode. I reach toward the dwarf only for him to grin and bop me on the nose.

"Gotcha." the bop causes fat tears to leak out the corners of my eyes and roll down my cheeks "Oh don't be like that."

"No, they're just... left overs." I explain prior to squinting at the dwarf suspiciously "You were... playing a trick on me?"

"I didn't think it would work this well." he wipes his eyes while chuckling "You deserved it though."

"I guess..." I frown before sniffing "I thought I caused you to have a mental break."

"If I were a lesser dwarf, I probably would have." he tilts his head up to look me in the eyes "And if you weren't essential, I'd have killed you for it."

"Well." I say taking his threat in stride "It's a good thing I'm essential then."

"Hn." he answers before walking around me to rejoin the party outside "Think about what I said, it wasn't all a joke."

I'm left trying to determine how much of his speech was true and how much was solely for the intent of making me feel like a jerk. I can't wrap my head around the dwarf. One minute he's insulting me, the next joking, and departs with a warning like threat. I just can't win. Deciding to save it for another day, I go over to the sink and wash my face with the intent of joining the festivities. Just as I finish though, it would appear that Oin has different plans. He noisily enters the room and upon spotting me, charges over.

"Where have ye been, lass?" he forces me over to a chair hastily, worrying me "I've be looking for ye all evening."

"Oh, um... why?"

"To check on yer wounds, lassie!" he replies as if it is obvious, which in a way it is "Lift yer shirt and lets have a look see at that bite, shall we?"

It's not a question, as before it leaves his mouth he's lifting the hem of my shirt. We go over my wounds one by one, making sure they are healing well and aren't infected. After half an hour filled with tongue clicking, pokes, growls, and prods the healer determines that I am not dying. THEN the questions begin.

"When was the last time ye moved yer bowels?"

"Excuse me, what?"

"No need to be embarrassed, lassie." he pats my arm smiles gently "I'm a healer."

"Yea... I know..." I close my eyes and try to be a good sport "I don't know, yesterday maybe?"

"Mmhmm." he starts writing on a piece of parchment from out of no where and I hope he never shows it to anyone. Sure, everybody poops but I don't want that on record "And when was the last time ye bled?"

"Why are we doing this?" I groan loudly "Its not important in the grand scheme of things. Smaug is not going to give us a handicap just because I'm a functioning woman. You don't need to know. Why why why are you doing this to me?"

"Do not make this more difficult than it need be, child. I am the company healer" he repeats his answer, matter-of-factly as if it matters "and ye have been avoiding this conversation for the whole trip."

"With good reason!"

"...Lady Thia." he places his hand on my knee with a serious expression that I find disturbing "Are ye with child?"

"... Three weeks ago." I give up "I... bled... two weeks ago."

We spend another ten minutes of me wanting to die before its finally over. The process is made even worse by me having to shout humiliatingly private things repeatedly in order for him to get it all straight. He gives me a clean bill of health, which in dwarven terms is a slap on the back, before leaving me to sit quietly in mortification. That's how Balin finds me; sitting in an empty house with my face in my hands trying to gather my scattered wits.

"What is the matter, Berch Kannag?" he asks, placing his hands on my shoulders

"Oh, papa." I sigh rubbing my eyes "I still don't know what that means."

"One day, you will." I turn my head to face him with a pout "Until then, I will be sharp enough for the both of us."

"Gee. Thanks." I roll my eyes but lean into his hands "Balin... do you think I'm inconsiderate?"

"Inconsiderate?"

"Yea, you know... thoughtless, unfair, self centered..."

"What has brought this on, my dear?" he asks coming around to kneel by my knees

"I had a... an altercation with Nori earlier and it got me to thinking that" I rub my shackled wrists "maybe I'm not being the best person that I could be..."

"Thia..." the dwarf extends his hand to stroke my cheek "You have left your home, had gifts thrust upon you without warning, and accepted a mission that has no personal gain for you. In what way is that self centered?"

"But I worried you all on the misty mountains and with Azog and then I let Beorn chase you and-"

"You caused us worry because you put our needs first. You then stood up to Azog to protect our King. It was very honorable of you and you have our thanks for it. While I do not condone you allowing the skin changer to frighten us" he looks at me pointedly but cruelly "I understand that you were angered and hurt. I admire that even in your anger, you would not allow any harm to come to us. So no, I do not find you uncharitable or inconsiderate in anyway. You are in fact one of the most thoughtful women I have ever met. Anyone who says otherwise is either blind or a fool."

"... You don't know how much that means to me." I dip my head as tears roll down my face again, coating his hand in salty fluid. I've been crying a lot today "I just feel like half the time I'm doing an alright job and the other half I'm being a stubborn brat."

"You walk amongst dwarves, my dear." he consoles, petting my head "If you weren't stubborn, you'd never get anything done. Now wash your face and lets get back to the party before the lads drink up all the ale."

I laugh and offer the elderly dwarf a watery smile before heading to the sink once again. I clean my face and nose before having Balin rewrap my hands so the metal doesn't skin my wrists. I straighten out my rumpled clothes and after raising my head, I nod to the dwarf and walk out the door. I know I'm not perfect; I get angry, and sometimes I respond too harshly. Even so, there are people who I care for, and they care for me. The least I can do is enjoy the good times along side them. Grabbing a piece of toast, I join the party.

To all of you, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I always try to put my best foot forward but if you guys feel that something is confusing or not up to par, please tell me! If I can see the merit in it, I will make the effort to change it. Thank you guys for reading. Until next time!