This was a difficult chapter to write. I just wanted to make sure that I did all the characters involved justice. I've been listening to Sade's "No Ordinary Love-Live from San Diego" on repeat. It fits this chapter to a tee.
Chapter 38
I only own this story.
Maura quickly moved off the barstool, her questions and hunger temporality forgotten. She stood behind Jane, one hand on the small of her back, the other covering Jane's hand as she furiously tried to wipe up her spilled tears from the countertop.
The microwave 'dinged' behind her and Jane turned to get Maura her blood, forgetting the towel, leaving it on the counter, distracted. Maura picked it up and folded it, putting it back in it's place on the other counter next to the stove, following Jane with her eyes.
"Jane? What's going on? Are you okay?" Maura asked, her brow furrowing as she watched Jane going through the motions of making her meal.
Jane smiled at her, but wasn't seeing her, her thoughts a million miles away. She took the blood bag from the microwave and began to knead it.
Maura stopped her, placing her hands over Jane's, gently taking the warm bag from her and setting it on the counter next to the glass.
"You really should drink that while it's warm." Jane said, pointing to the bag. "It's better when it's warm."
Ignoring Jane's attempts to sway her from her concern, she reached up and took Jane's face in her hands, forcing her to focus. "What. Is. Wrong." She said, slowly.
Jane came back to the moment and found Maura's beautiful hazel green eyes, holding them, tears building again as she stood so close to her mate, feeling her warm hands on her face, smelling her, feeling their connection, the bond working its way through them both, her hands naturally finding their place at her hips.
Maura, sensing Jane's need, pulled her close, wrapping her arms around her vampire's neck, leaning her face into Jane's, whispering into her ear. "You're scaring me, baby. What's wrong? Please tell me."
Jane suddenly pulled Maura into a tighter hug, the realization of just how close she had come to inadvertently losing her settling in. She buried her face in her neck, the tears coming again.
"Oh God, Maura. I don't want to lose you." She whispered into her neck. "Don't leave me."
Maura frowned, leaning her head onto Jane's as she sobbed, her hands massaging Jane's neck softly. "I'm not going anywhere, Jane. What just happened to trigger this, baby? Did I do something to you? I felt like I had when I recovered from... whatever that was. Did I hurt you?" She asked, oblivious to why Jane was really concerned.
Jane shook her head, pulling Maura closer, harder, losing herself in Maura's warmth.
Maura grimaced slightly. "Jane, you're squeezing too hard. I can't breathe."
Jane immediately moved away from Maura, a sudden flashback crashing into her mind. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to..."
Maura pulled Jane close again. "It's okay, baby. I know. What's going on with you right now?"
Jane kissed Maura's ear. "It's all just setting in how serious all this is. It kinda took me by surprise, that's all. I'm sorry if I scared you, sweetheart."
Maura pushed away from Jane so she could look into her eyes, taking her hands, but not entirely buying what Jane was selling. "And?"
Jane smiled down at her, sheepishly. "You are too perceptive for your own good, Dr. Isles."
"And?" Maura repeated. "You are deflecting with flattery, Det. Rizzoli."
Jane looked down at their intertwined fingers. "You tried to bite me." She looked back up into Maura's eyes.
Maura smiled, saying coyly. "I tried to bite you the other night, as well. I don't recall you being this upset then."
"Yes, you did." She said, smiling, slightly embarrassed, licking her lips, the memory of Maura nipping at her neck as they made love fresh in her mind. A jolt of arousal quickly coursed through her center, her eyes dilating slightly. "And no, I wasn't. But this was different, Maura. You meant it. If I hadn't stopped you…"
Maura saw the change in Jane's attitude. "What? If you hadn't stopped me…what?"
"Then you would've bitten me, drawing blood. Then all of this would be for nothing."
"Why?"
Jane picked up the bag of blood, kneading it again.
"Because if you had tasted my blood…" Jane said, opening the valve, pouring the blood into the glass, filling it completely to the top. "Ingested it..." She closed the valve, replacing the bag back in the fridge. "Then I wouldn't have been able to turn you." She picked up the glass and took Maura's hand, placing the warm glass into it. "Then you would've died."
Maura looked down at the glass, her stomach growling loudly despite her sudden realization of just how close she'd come to death…again. She looked at the crimson liquid, licking her lips, but didn't drink.
Jane took her hand and moved her back to the barstool, realizing that, once again, Maura's sense of decorum was getting in the way.
"You are gonna have to get over that, Maura. Feed when you are hungry." She said, sitting her down, then taking the stool next to her. "Don't let modesty prevent you from satisfying your need for blood. There may come a time when you are desperate for it. Don't train yourself from the beginning to resist on formalities, especially when it's being handed to you, okay?"
Maura looked at her glass again, still embarrassed.
Jane smiled. "I'll tell you a story, if you feed. I promise. Okay?"
Maura smiled, nodding. "Okay. Is the story about you?"
Jane used her index finger to push the bottom of the glass towards Maura's mouth. "It is."
Maura took a long gulp of the thick, warm liquid, swallowing, licking her lips then smiling, looking at Jane. Jane returned her smile, nodding. "Good girl."
The Sentinel put her elbow up onto the countertop, smiling, leaning her head into her hand and watched as her bashert began emptying her glass, satisfying the hunger, her eyes and heart so filled with love that she wasn't sure if her body could contain it.
Smiling, she began her story, as promised. "Once upon a time, there was a vampire…"
R&I R&I R&I
Jane moved to the sofa, sitting opposite Claire, leaning forward, forearms on her knees, waiting, her eyes returning to their dark coffee color, indicating to Claire that she was trying to keep this meeting civil.
Claire sat silent, her own eyes still glowing that ethereal green, indicating to Jane that she was not.
Abby moved in between them, standing slightly off to the side. "Is anyone hungry? I have blood in the fridge. Claire? You look like you could eat. Can I heat you up some?" She asked, pleasantly, trying to break the tension between the two vampires and also trying to get Claire to feed. She had no idea when she'd eaten last.
Jane smiled inwardly at her Watcher's attempt to get her mate to feed. Her heart filled with respect as she realized that even though Claire had been tormenting her, Abby was still looking out for her well being.
Claire held Jane's steady gaze. "Can it, Abby. I didn't come here for food. You know I'm not hungry." She leaned back and pulled out the little vial again, holding it between her thumb and forefinger, shaking it for effect at Jane.
Abby knew full well that Claire would have no appetite, a side effect of the cocaine. She thought she'd try anyway.
Claire opened the bottle and took another hit up each nostril, looking directly at Jane, replacing it again in her pocket when she was done, sniffing loudly.
Jane's eyes immediately turned ice blue, her pupils pinpoints. "Dammit, Claire." She said calmly, ignoring her attempt at baiting her, moving directly into what was really bothering her. "You know I'm not going to let you speak to Abby that way. If you continue acting in this manner, you and I are done here tonight. And I'll take Abby home with me and then you and I will settle this some other time, one way or another. But she said you had something you wanted to talk with me about and that it sounded urgent. So please apologize to her, so we can get to it."
Claire sneered at Jane at the mention of Jane taking Abby home with her, that now familiar pang of jealousy rumbling through her mind. She cut her eyes at Abby.
Jane felt the emotion and was disturbed that Claire was still holding onto it. Of course, Jane was only referring to keeping her Watcher safe. Claire now had access to her apartment and she didn't dare trust her estranged mate anymore, for obvious reasons, so it was the only logical thing to do.
"I'm sorry, Abby." Claire said, sarcastically. "And no. I don't want anything from you right now, thanks."
Jane looked at Abby, who closed her eyes and shook her head, silently telling Jane that she was fine and it wasn't worth it to get into a fight over something so trivial as Claire's disrespect towards her. Jane smiled, nodding.
"Janie?" Abby asked, using a name that only her Watchers were ever allowed to use when addressing her. "How about you? Hungry?"
"I just ate a couple of hours ago, Abigail." Jane said, politely. "But thank you for offering."
Abby nodded and backed away, turning to head to the kitchen, giving her Sentinel and mate some privacy, intending on making herself some dinner. It was after eight o'clock and she hadn't eaten since lunch.
"Where're you going?" Claire asked, standing and moving towards Abby.
Jane immediately stood and grabbed Claire by the wrist, pulling her away from Abby. "Stay away from her, Claire. You've scared her enough for one night, don't you think?" She looked to her Watcher and saw the terror in her eyes briefly, before Abby could recover and hide it. It infuriated Jane that Claire had put Abby in this position.
Deep down, she felt completely responsible for putting both Abby and Claire in this position. Even though she didn't realize at the time, it was at this exact moment when the guilt began to take root in her mind, eventually keeping her a prisoner of it for the next three decades.
Abby recovered quickly. "You said all I had to do was invite you in and then call Jane. I've done that, so now I'm gonna give you two some time alone." She said cordially, turning to walk to the kitchen again.
"I may not have been entirely truthful when I said that, Abby." Claire said, pulling her wrist out of Jane's grasp, indignantly.
Jane stood in between Abby and Claire, ready to defend her Watcher, if necessary.
"What do you mean by that, Claire?" Jane asked. "Abby has nothing to do with any…"
Before Jane could finish, Claire lunged at her, catching her off guard, punching her in the face, using the cocaine to mask her emotions, giving her speed and strength a boost. The blow rocked her maker's head backwards. Before Jane could recover, Claire pushed her aside and grabbed Abby, moving behind her, arm around her throat, choking off her air. She backed up against the wall, pulling Abby with her. It all happened in a millisecond.
Jane, once again, let her love for her mate cloud her judgement and now Abby was at the mercy of an insane doped out vampire. She was angry with Claire, but she was furious with herself for letting it happen in the first place.
She looked up, the blood gushing from her exploded nose. She didn't even try to staunch it, instead moving towards them both, growling deep in her chest, her fangs flashing instantly, her hands balled into fists, blood running freely.
"ENOUGH, CLAIRE!" She bellowed, her raspy voice dropping an octave in her anger, blood spewing from her mouth across the room as she yelled. Her blood was flowing into her mouth, tainting her teeth, running down her chin and staining the front of her shirt, making her look like a savage animal. As she tasted it again, two times in as many weeks, her feral instincts threatened to take over. She began to pace, continuously growling at her mate, licking that left fang.
Jane was, unknowingly, falling right into Claire's trap. She was losing control and that's exactly what she wanted her to do. Her plan depended on it.
Claire pulled Abby closer to her, closing off her airway and Abby reached up and grabbed Claire's forearm with both hands, trying to loosen her grip so she could breathe. She could feel Claire's skeletal frame pushed against her back and it was frightening. Incredibly, even in her moment of life threatening distress, she was worried about her Sentinel's mate's well being. She also couldn't believe that someone that appeared so frail could be so strong.
"I can't breathe, Claire." She gasped out, using the last bit of air in her lungs, trying desperately with both hands to pull Claire's arm away from her throat.
As Jane advanced, Claire opened her mouth, revealing her own fangs, and leaned over near Abby's neck.
"Maybe I will take something to eat, after all." She said, laughing. "Thanks for offering, Abby."
Abby was beginning to pass out, the room dimming, everything taking on a surreal dreamy feel. In her tunnel vision, she could see Jane moving towards her and she reached out to her with one hand, everything suddenly in slow motion, the other still struggling to move Claire's arm away from her throat.
"YOU ARE KILLING HER!" Jane yelled. "LET HER BREATHE, CLAIRE!"
"BACK OFF, JANE!" Claire yelled at her, leaning within centimeters of Abby's neck, baring her fangs again. "LISTEN TO ME!"
Jane stopped in her tracks, her eyes drilling holes into Claire's. She was barely hanging onto rational thought as she saw Abby's hand slowly drop from around Claire's forearm and her knees begin to buckle, her lips turning blue, the small capillaries in her eyes bursting with her need for oxygen. Her eyes slid closed as she slumped in Claire's arms, her own arms falling limply to her sides.
"CLAIRE!" She screamed, anger and sorrow fighting for dominance in her voice. "PLEASE!" She pleaded, as she stopped pacing, focusing on Abby.
Claire loosened her grip just enough for Abby to draw ragged breaths. She didn't wake up, however. Claire boosted Abby in her arms, trying to get a better handhold on the unconscious woman, but holding her close still, allowing her to breathe while she laid out her plan to Jane.
"Are you going to listen to me now?"
Jane nodded, her face and shirt a bloody mess. She didn't even realize that she was covered in her own blood anymore.
Jane never took her eyes off of Abby's lifeless body as Claire moved her arm away from her neck and adjusted it under her breasts, across her rib cage. Abby's head lolled from side to side as she was moved, her arms dangling. An unconscious human body is almost impossible to hold onto, but Claire's preternatural strength made it easy. She leaned back and used her free hand on Abby's forehead to move it back onto her own shoulder, making a show of her trophy. Abby's head rolled over into Claire's and she leaned hers deliberately over into Abby's, still holding Jane's eyes with her own.
"Aw…I think she's hitting on me, Jane." She said, leaning over and kissing the side of her head, lovingly, then grinning devilishly at Jane. "Don't be jealous."
Jane was dumbfounded, caught between horror and disgust at Claire's lack of respect for human life. She couldn't believe that this was a vampire that she had created. Her, the vampire that put all human life above even her own kind, because she knew how vulnerable and fragile they were. Now she stood before a vampire of her own making, completely sickened at her progeny's utter disregard for all of the things that she held so dear in her own life.
"You've truly gone insane, haven't you?" She said more to herself than to Claire.
Claire was enjoying Jane's consternation. "So do I have your attention? Finally?" She said, softly, still smiling.
Jane nodded, stepping towards Abby, holding her hands out. "Please just give her to me, Claire. She needs medical attention." She said, the EMT in her taking over. "My bag's right over there." She pointed towards the hallway where she'd entered.
Claire pulled Abby closer to her, a quiet moan escaping as her ribs were being squeezed. "Not until you listen to me." She said, adjusting Abby in her arms again. "And then promise me, you'll do what I ask of you."
Jane shook her head. "You know I can't do that, Claire. I don't know what you're going to ask me to do." Although, she was slowly beginning to get an idea.
Claire knew that Jane always kept her promises, no matter the cost. So this was the only way that she could get Jane to agree to her plan. If Jane promised her that she would do a thing, then she would be bound by her honor to follow through.
She squeezed Abby again and this time she cried out, her bloodshot eyes fluttering open as she clawed at Claire's arm, her hands automatically trying to stop the pain.
"If you don't agree, Jane, now, I'm going to squeeze her until I break all of her ribs. Then I'm going to keep squeezing until they puncture her lungs and heart." Claire said, forcefully. "Then I'm going to snap her neck. And then your beloved Watcher will be dead. And then you'll still have to deal with me."
Jane clenched her jaw. "Claire…it can't be this bad. Please, just let me help you. Please!"
"I don't want your help, Jane." Claire said, squeezing Abby tighter. Jane could physically hear her ribs beginning to fracture. She screamed in agony, writhing in Claire's grasp, trying to escape, using both hands to try and pry Claire's arm away from her middle. She kicked her feet out at nothing, trying to find something, anything, to loosen the grip that Claire had on her. Her breath was, once again, becoming labored as her lung capacity was being limited by Claire's viselike grip.
Jane stood, helpless, face tacky with her own drying blood, watching as her intended slowly killed her Watcher.
"PROMISE ME, JANE! OR SHE DIES!" Claire yelled, tightening her grasp. "NOW! RIGHT HERE IN FRONT OF YOU!"
It seemed like eons and milliseconds were passing all at the same time for Jane.
Suddenly time stood still, everything in slow motion.
Abby's blue bloodshot eyes opened slowly and she found Jane's as she realized that she was going to die. Abby shook her head imperceptibly, telling Jane to not give in to Claire's demands. She smiled slightly through her pain, her duties fulfilled. She had done her best to protect her Sentinel. She had died a righteous and respectful death, defending and putting her Sentinel's life first. The Council would write her name down next to all of her ancestors in the Ancient Book and her family would still be in good standing. The next in line waiting to protect Jane, their given Sentinel, the Head of the North American Sentinels, would be chosen soon after her death. She was ready to die in peace, knowing that Jane would still be protected by her family. She would die happy.
Jane saw this in an instant, Abby's resignation. Her willingness to die for Jane's own stupid mistake. And die willingly, still protecting her.
Abby smiled at her through the pain, as her life was slowly being squeezed out of her. Then her blue eyes closed slowly, the unshed tears finally making their way down her cheeks.
Time caught up with Jane and there was a a visceral pop in her mind as she made her decision.
After all, if Abby had already resigned herself to death then it was the least she could do to avenge that death, even if Abby herself was collateral damage.
She rushed Claire, fangs bared, launching herself at her head, elbowing her in the face, her nose exploding in a gush of blood. Claire held onto Abby, pulling her closer into her body, swinging her around, almost as a shield.
Jane moved away, crouching, surveying the situation. She wasn't going to shred Abby to get to Claire. She needed to figure out a way to get her to release Abby's body. She deserved a proper burial in her family tomb, after all.
'Why won't she let Abby go? Isn't this what she wanted?" Jane thought to herself. Then it dawned on her. 'Shit!'
She realized what she forgot. After all, it had been so long since she'd seen it. Every vampire has a built in self preservation mechanism. Even if they want to die, they still have to fight to the death. It's innate.
Jane realized that she was going to have to finesse this situation. She just needed Claire to release Abby.
"WHY ARE YOU SUCH A COWARD, CLAIRE? WHY HAVE YOU ALWAYS BEEN SUCH A COWARD?!" Jane yelled at her mate, moving to the other side of the living room, rubbing her hand across her chin, covering it in her own tacky blood, holding her hand up to Claire. "LOOK! YOU COULDN'T EVEN HIT ME FAIR AND SQUARE...AGAIN! YOU HAD TO SNEAK ATTACK! AGAIN! I CAN'T BELIEVE I MADE YOU! ME! A SENTINEL! I SPAWNED A COWARD!"
She wiped her blood on her EMT uniform pants, waiting to see if Claire would take the bait that she was finally dangling.
Miraculously, she did.
She dropped Abby like a rag doll and launched herself towards Jane.
Jane seeing that Abby's body was safe, went completely feral, allowing all of her pent up anguish and vampire rage free reign, her nails growing and her bottom fangs, which she'd kept sheathed for centuries, flashing into freedom.
They met in mid air, slashing and biting each other, Jane having the upper hand from the start, with her centuries of experience and physical advantages, her size and strength, her teeth. Only Sentinel's had bottom fangs.
Jane made fast work of the situation, punching her hard in the face and throat several times, her mouth filled with Claire's blood now, as well as her own. She pinned Claire under her quickly, crouching over her, growling deeply at her mate, as she pushed her down onto Abby's floor, moving her hand around her throat, her claws digging into her skin, blood flowing from the new wounds she was creating.
"Why, Claire?" She asked, her mind still trying to understand the reason she'd let herself get to this point. "You could've had everything. We could've had everything."
Claire reached up and tried to claw at Jane's face, still fighting her. Jane lifted her up off the floor and slammed her back down, sitting on top of her, straddling her hips, pinning her more firmly against the floor. She stopped struggling.
Jane found her eyes and held them, both pairs still glowing brightly. "Why?" She asked, her own eyes filling with tears as the enormity of what was about to happen came crashing into her mind.
Claire shook her head, as Jane released her neck, but still sitting on her, knowing that even now, in the moments before her death, she couldn't be trusted.
"I can't live like this, Jane. I thought I could." She said, softly, her voice returning to normal for the first time in months. "I thought we would be together forever but then I began to see that I was only going to be living half of my life with you. The other half spent sleeping or hiding away, waiting for you to come home." She said, her hands moving to Jane's thighs, caressing them lovingly.
Jane looked away from Claire's eyes, down at her hands, feeling her touching her again after so long. She ached for her lover. She missed her terribly. To be bonded with someone and never spending time with them was torture. She'd had to do it with past mates, during times of war or when she was on Council business. She hated it.
"It's just an adjustment, Claire." Jane was still trying to bring Claire back. "You can do this. Just change your way of thinking. I'll be here for you. We'll do it together. I'll quit my job and spend more time with you. Just try, please!" She covered Claire's hands with her own.
Claire shook her head. "I don't want to, Jane. Please, I need for you to kill me."
Jane shook her head, moving Claire's hands next to her heart. "I can't." She said, the fresh tears streaking her bruised and bleeding face. "I'm sorry. But I just can't, Claire. I love you."
She leaned down and kissed Claire, lovingly. Claire returned the kiss, pulling Jane down, her bloody hands finding their way into her raven hair. Jane enjoyed this last kiss.
She knew what Claire was doing. She was fooled once, letting her love cloud her judgement. But no more. She just needed this one moment with her Claire, the mate that she met and fell in love with, bonded with, expected to spend many long and wonderful years with.
She felt it the split second before it happened, steeling herself for what she was about to do.
Claire grabbed her hair, pulling her forward, lifting her hips up, trying to buck Jane off of her. Jane was anticipating this, as she grabbed her wrists, and leaned back, putting all of her weight on Claire's hips, pushing her butt back flat against the floor.
Claire growled at her, gnashing out with her teeth, trying to bite Jane. She held her wrists, moving them above her head, their faces mere inches apart. She wanted to look into her lover's eyes once more to be sure.
Jane saw the familiar hate and desperation. With regret and aching sorrow, she quickly released her wrists and grabbed her head, twisting it sideways, hearing the wet snapping noise as she was internally decapitated.
Claire winced as her eyes faded, the glow disappearing forever, returning to her natural beautiful light green, before Claire herself caught on fire in a flash of light, tendrils of smoke and ash lazily catching the imperceptible air current and floating upward and then she was gone.
Jane leaned back on her knees, feeling the empty space under her where Claire had just been, and looked at the ceiling and screamed as her heart broke. She screamed until her voice was gone and her throat raw. She leaned forward on her palms, the tears overtaking all thought.
She suddenly heard moaning to her right. Her glowing eyes found her Watcher immediately. She knew that she had to pull herself together. If only for Abby. She put her grief away, locking it up in her mind.
That's where it stayed until Maura released her from it over thirty years later.
She moved to Abby's side, turning her over gently, eliciting a fresh set of moans from the crumpled woman.
She leaned down, smiling, soothing Abby with her broken voice. "It's okay, Abby. I've got you. You're going to be okay." She touched Abby's face, tenderly. "I promise."
R&I R&I R&I
Outside, across the street from Abby's building, at a pay phone, a lone figure spoke into the receiver.
"It's done. Tell the Council that the experiment is still ongoing." Colin hung up the phone, smiling up at the moon, the rain pelting him in the face. He didn't mind. He loved the rain.
He turned on his heels and walked off into the cold, wet night, whistling, the distant sound of sirens making their way towards him.
Can I say, that as I wrote this, I teared up for Claire. I can't believe how attached I became to her, even knowing that she was an antagonist. I still felt her pain. And I felt Jane's loss, as well. So to those that hated her and wanted her dead, your wish is my command. But to those, like myself, who saw her for who she was, let's mourn her together. Onward.