"So what was that about?" Emma asked her lover, a sly smile appearing on her face.
"What?" Regina countered, smirking back at her.
"Why did you do that?"
"Honestly? I can't really explain it to you. It was just something personal I had to do. It felt wrong not to."
The blonde's tone changed as she pressed, "So you were just trying to assuage your guilt?"
"Emma, no. It's not like that. I just knew that the way I was behaving and feeling was wrong."
"You know as well as anyone that it's not wrong to have feelings, whatever they may be. But you're right, your attitude and actions towards her have been... problematic. But the same can be said of her."
"She's a good kid, Em. I... had that realization..."
"How'd you even end up talking to her anyway?"
As she spoke, Emma sat back down on the couch and watched as her lover followed suit.
"It's... It's sort of a..."
"What? Did you, like, go through my phone or something to get her number?"
"No! Of course not! I would never!"
"How, then?"
"I ran into her at the cafe yesterday."
"Oh. Was that so hard to say?"
"I don't really want to break her trust, so I can't really talk to you about what was said, but I think she'll probably discuss it with you tomorrow."
Looking confused, Emma tilted her head and asked, "Is she okay?"
"Emma, if she wasn't okay, I'm sure she would tell you right away. You know I can't say more than that. She'll be fine. She just wants to talk to you about it herself."
"I don't get it. Why wouldn't she just tell me whatever it is?"
"Do you tell her everything immediately?" the brunette asked carefully. When Emma didn't reply, she put her hand on the girl's thigh and added, "Sometimes things are hard to say to the people you care about most, and it just takes time to say what you need to."
With a sigh, Emma nodded herself and replied, "Yeah. I guess you're right. I'm just worried now. I mean... She seemed totally fine tonight. It scares me that she could pretend to be okay if she's not."
"She is okay, Emma. She's just got some stuff on her mind right now."
"Then why did she tell you and not me?"
When the girl started to look panicked and upset, Regina squeezed her knee and softly assured her, "She was upset, and I happened to be there. That's it. It's nothing personal about me. It was just what she needed at the moment. Now, please, Em... Let's stop talking about it, okay? I'm just now starting to earn Belle's trust, and I don't want to break it by saying too much."
"Yeah, alright," the blonde huffed. "Anyway, was this why you seemed to uptight earlier? You were nervous about having her over?"
"Yep. Pretty much that exactly. I guess I just didn't know how it would go. It was better than I ever could have hoped, though. Honestly... I enjoyed spending time with her. She's very intelligent and well-spoken."
Regina was smiling, which helped ease Emma's nerves. Whenever her lover's lips curled into that radiant expression, the girl could hardly contain the butterflies that erupted inside her. It was like seeing her for the first time, all over again. She remembered it perfectly: the blouse the woman had been wearing, the perfume... the way the smoothness of her voice had made Emma's hands shake. She might not have known what she was feeling at the time, but it became incredibly evident the more and more they'd spoken.
"You okay?" Regina asked, tearing the girl from her thoughts.
"Yeah. I'm good. Just thinking."
"What are you thinking about, honey? Can you tell me?"
"I can tell you anything, Regina. You've always made me feel safe and comfortable and cared about."
"And loved, I hope?"
"Yes. Even before you kissed me, I could tell that I meant something to you. I didn't know you felt the same things as I did, but I knew I wasn't nothing. That was something I'd never felt before. I've never been important to anyone. You were the first."
"You will always be important to me, Emma, and I will always love you. No matter what." As Emma remained silent and pensive, Regina asked again, "What were you thinking about, though?"
"When we first met."
"Good memory?"
"Absolutely. I was captivated by you from the very beginning."
"Ha. That's silly."
"Why?"
"Because I'm..."
"Captivating is definitely the right word. You won my heart on day one."
"You're so sappy," the brunette laughed, shaking her head.
"And you're beautiful..."
"You're just trying to get in my pants."
"Maybe..."
"Oh yeah?"
"What can I say? I missed you."
Grinning, Emma leaned in for a kiss, but her lover pulled away and playfully shoved her shoulders.
"Nuh-uh. I don't think you've earned it."
Suddenly, the blonde actually looked offended and immediately got off the couch, saying, "Earned it? Since when is that a thing?"
"I... I was just kidding, baby... Relax. It was just a-"
"Oh. Okay. Jesus... I thought you were serious for a minute there."
She looked relieved as Regina replied, "Of course not. If you want me, I'm yours."
"I always want you, Gina. Even when I'm mad."
"That's just 'cause you're horny all the time."
"Oh, stop it," Emma chuckled lightly. "Even if I am, it's only for you."
"Yeah?"
"Well, duh. Honestly, I've never really been sexually driven. Even... you know... by myself. You sort of changed all that. You made me feel safe and comfortable, which allowed me to explore that part of myself that I'd shut out."
"Emma..."
"Yeah?"
"I think... I think we need to talk about-"
"Hey. Don't. I know what you're going to say, and I'm not talking about that. Even with you."
"You just said you can tell me anything. Why can't we talk about this?"
"I can tell you. I know I can. I just don't want to. Don't you understand that?"
"I do. Emma, I do... I just... It's important to-"
"You're not my shrink anymore, Regina. Stop trying to-"
"Hey! I know I'm not your shrink!"
"Okay. Okay. Calm down," Emma said quickly, sitting back down beside the increasingly agitated brunette. "I know you know. But you're acting like it right now, and that makes me uncomfortable."
"Emma..."
"I don't want a therapist. I need to you to be my lover."
"Em..."
"What?" the girl snapped, exasperated by her lover's persistence.
"I think you need to see one."
"Fuck you."
"Don't. Don't get upset. Just listen to me. I know what it's like to feel what you're feeling right now, and I know that it's hard to cope with, but I also know that you shouldn't do it alone."
"I've dealt with it just fine up till now. No reason to involve anyone else."
"It's not involving anyone. It's sharing your experience with someone who understands and can help you cope with how you feel about it."
"I cope just fine!"
"Emma... Historically speaking, you really don't, and I'm worried about you. I'm worried about how you'll handle it if you experience some other trauma."
"It wasn't trauma! I'm fine!"
"Bullshit. You and I both know that that's exactly what it was. You need help, Emma. I know you're not 'over it' like you think you are. It weighs on you every day."
"What about you, then?"
"What about me?"
"Why don't you deal with your shit?"
"I have dealt with my shit."
"Oh, yeah? By drinking?"
"WHOA. You need to back the fuck off right now..."
"You've said it yourself that you had a drinking problem. It's not like I'm making it up or pulling it out of nowhere."
"You know something, Emma? I was in therapy for years during that time, and I don't know if you've noticed this or not, but I don't have that problem anymore. I drink in moderation, if ever."
"I... Shit..."
"Yeah."
"Regina... I didn't... I never should have said that. I'm so, so sorry... I don't even know how that happened. It just... I got upset, and it just... came out..."
"People say things they don't mean when they're upset. Especially if something the other person said hit a nerve."
"Regina, stop. I'm not-"
"Look, just try. One session. That's all I'm asking. Go to one session. If you don't want to go back, I won't ask you to."
"With who?"
"I have a colleague who is highly recommended and specializes in self-harm and..."
"And?"
Emma's eyes were stony and serious.
"Sexual abuse."
"Fuck this. No way."
"Emma, please. Please, please go."
"I'm not-"
"PLEASE. I'm begging you now. Just do this. Do this for me, and then do it for you."
"Do you know them personally?"
"No. That's why it's ideal."
"I don't want-"
"I know, baby," the brunette sighed, looking sadly into her lover's eyes. "But you need to."
Hanging her head in her hands, Emma finally mumbled, "Fine. One session, and then you'd better get the fuck off my back."