Evelyn was sitting on a bench under the weeping willow in the estate's garden, twisting blue and white flowers into a crown to wear. She felt calm, though she felt eyes on her. She could tell it wasn't a malevolent presence, and so she didn't turn around to search out what it was. It felt like a familiar presence, the same comforting one she had felt every time she sat here before. And so she hummed softly to herself and relaxed, feeling content. She felt like she was waiting for someone, but she didn't quite know who. In the distance she thought she heard a trickle of laughter, and she wondered if it was Bron, trying to sneak up on her where she sat…
Slowly Evelyn felt herself leaving the Fade as her eyes fluttered open. Sunlight was filtering through the glass doors that opened onto the two balconies that overlooked Skyhold and the mountains. She blinked as she came into consciousness and rolled over to look at the canopy above her. She was wearing her robes still, she saw, when she pushed back the sheets to sit up. Evelyn couldn't remember falling asleep, but she remembered Cullen holding her as she wept. Somehow she didn't feel embarrassed; it had been incredibly comforting, and the fact that she had finally let herself cry made her feel a little bit of relief. She rubbed her tear-swollen eyes and got out of her bed, wandering out onto one of her balconies to enjoy the fresh morning air.
She wondered a bit how she would spend her day. She had intended to attend the war council and tell them about Crestwood, but she doubted if they still wanted her to do so now that she had been ordered to rest. Determining to change and at least go down to the kitchens for something to eat, she headed back into her quarters.
"Ah, Inquisitor," she heard from the stairs, and turned to see Adan standing in her room. "I thought you might still be asleep."
"Adan," she greeted with a frown. "What are you doing here?"
"The Commander asked me to check on you," the healer replied. "If you're not busy, I'd like to examine you."
Evelyn raised an eyebrow as he gestured to a chair in front of her fireplace. She followed his silent instruction and took a seat, sitting on the edge of the chair. Adan set his staff and satchel of healing herbs and poultices on the small table beside the chair and began looking her over. He asked questions about how much she had been sleeping, any injuries she had suffered recently, how her dreams in the Fade had been, and how she was feeling overall. He examined her puffy eyes closely, listening as she answered his questions.
"You seem to be suffering from exhaustion," Adan finally said. "Extreme exhaustion," he added pointedly.
She shuffled her feet and avoided his gaze.
"Why didn't you tell me you weren't sleeping well? I could have done something for you," he scolded her lightly.
"It's nerves, it's everything I'm facing, having to do," she murmured. "I didn't think there was anything that would fix it."
"Well, the Commander is right to ask you to rest, right now," the healer sighed as he stood up and rummaged through his satchel. He removed some small vials and set them out on the table. "Your advisors asked for me to give you sleeping draughts, for this first week. They want to be sure you get some uninterrupted sleep. I'll see if you need to continue taking them after that."
"I'm fine, really -"
"It's non-negotiable, I'm afraid. They gave me the strictest orders this morning that I'm to observe you this month, and that you are to take sleeping draughts every evening for at least a week."
"Am I on bed rest then? Confined to this room?" Evelyn folded her arms, frowning sharply. She felt annoyed by her advisors' demands.
"Not at all – your days you may spend as you please, though I suggest you take it easy, at least this first week or two. The entire point of this month is to allow you to regain your strength, after all," he gave her a sideways look as he picked up his items to leave.
"They're treating me like an invalid," she grumbled.
"Inquisitor, this is necessary. Their concerns are not without merit. Now please, take it easy," and with that he gave her a nod of his head and left the room.
Evelyn walked slowly through the courtyard, watching some new recruits spar under the careful gaze of a veteran Templar. She had spent the morning in her quarters after she grabbed breakfast from the kitchen, but after she had taken a lengthy, relaxing bath she'd found herself restless and decided to wander Skyhold. Her old habit of watching the sparring wasn't as satisfying as it used to be, though, and she continued on. All it brought up was memories of fights she'd been in, people she'd had to kill, and she didn't want to follow that train of thought at the moment. She mounted one of the staircases to the battlements and walked along, staring out at the snowy mountains. She enjoyed the peaks that surrounded Skyhold. They made her feel peaceful and serene.
She came upon a tower in the battlements and opened the door, intending to pass through and continue her walk. She hadn't thought the room was in use, though, and was surprised when she saw that she had found herself in what appeared to be the Commander's office. Cullen looked up from where he sat at his desk when he heard the door open, and smiled and stood quickly when he saw her enter. "Inquisitor, what a surprise," he said, and he walked around the desk to approach her. "How are you, this morning?"
Evelyn closed the door behind her and took a few steps toward him, closing the distance between them. "Better, thank you," she murmured, holding her arms crossed against her chest. She hadn't thought she was embarrassed, but now that she stood before him she was having issues looking up at him.
"How did you sleep?" he asked. She could tell he was trying to peer into her face, and restlessly raised and lowered one of his hands a few times. She wondered if he wanted to lift her chin again so that he could look into her face to assess her for himself. She momentarily considered not looking up just to see if he would do it. "Evelyn?" he finally questioned, taking another small step toward her.
"I slept well," she finally looked up at him. Cullen was frowning slightly, but he gave a quirking smile when she replied. His eyes moved rapidly over her face, as though he was inspecting her thoroughly. He gave a slight nod, as though he was pleased with what he saw. She gave him a small upward tug of the corners of her mouth. "Although I'm assuming Adan already told you that," she added, watching his reaction. She was surprised when he merely chuckled.
"Yes, he did. But I still wanted to hear it from you," he gestured with his hand for her to take a seat in a chair before his desk, and she hesitantly did so.
"I didn't realize this tower was in use, I was just walking along the battlements. I don't mean to interrupt your work, Commander," she said. Evelyn had noticed that he had called her Inquisitor again when she entered, and she decided to use the same formality as she spoke with him. She was wondering why he'd returned to using her title, when he had so readily called her by her name the previous evening. She wondered too why it still hurt so much to hear.
His brow furrowed a little as he resumed his seat across from her, and she wondered if he was curious about her renewed formality. "I don't mind, it's mostly been a pointless endeavor this morning as it is."
"Something I can help with?"
Cullen's scarred mouth twisted into a grin again. "No, not at present."
"Because you've ordered me to rest?" she sighed, tapping a foot restlessly.
"No, not because of that," he rushed to answer. "There's nothing to do about this particular problem at the moment. At least not until we gather more information."
"What's wrong?" she asked suddenly, distracted. He was scowling sharply as he stared at the reports on his desk, rubbing one of his temples with his fingers as though it hurt him terribly.
"Hm?" he looked up and quickly lowered his hand when he saw how intently she was watching him. "I recognized one of the Templars with the Elder One at Haven; he was formerly at Kirkwall with me. His name is Samson. I've been trying to determine his location as well as his involvement, that is all. But the trail is hard to follow."
Again she noticed how his eyes changed, how they hardened and he seemed to withdraw inside himself. She noticed too that he hadn't answered her question, or at least not the way she had meant it. He had delivered a report about what he was working on instead of answering about his apparent headache. She frowned and tugged her bottom lip between her teeth, but decided not to push the issue. "How well did you know Samson, in Kirkwall?"
"We were bunkmates when I first arrived, but Samson was soon disciplined and removed from the Order."
"He was kicked out?" Evelyn raised her eyebrows in surprise. It must have been something horrible for him to have been expelled; she knew the Order only dismissed Templars over gravely serious infractions.
"Yes, he and Meredith always clashed. He had – erm, differences of opinions about his duties, I suppose you might say." He shuffled some pieces of parchment before he leaned back in his chair with a sigh, again rubbing his temples with his fingers.
"Cullen, are you all right?" she finally asked, unable to resist the urge any longer.
"Yes, I'm fine, thank you," he muttered, again dropping his hand quickly. "Just a headache, it's nothing to concern yourself with."
"Do you get a lot of headaches? I notice you rub your temples quite frequently."
"Pressures of the job, I suppose," he answered lightly, but she noticed a forced nonchalance in how he said it.
"Maybe you're the one in need of a month of rest, instead," she suggested wryly. He chuckled.
"I'm fine, really, Evelyn," he demurred. "Please don't trouble yourself with it."
"You're the Commander of the Inquisition's forces, and I'm the Inquisitor. It's my job to worry about you and make sure you're all right. Just as much as it is for you to do the same for me," she told him, and then frowned when she saw the strange look he gave her. She couldn't tell at all what he was thinking; he looked both grateful and annoyed at her words.
"I appreciate that," he said, but she wasn't quite sure he fully meant it. "But I'm fine. As I said, do not trouble yourself with it."
"Won't you at least ask Adan for something?"
"No," he said forcefully, and she wondered at the change in his tone. "It's just a headache. I can endure it."
Evelyn sat back with a huff and stared at the wall. She thought about leaving, and she considered how angry he would be if she turned the tables and asked Adan to give him an examination as well. Something told her he wouldn't appreciate it, and she felt a little wicked when she thought about doing it anyway.
"I'm sorry, Evelyn," he said suddenly. He was leaning his elbows on the desk looking at her earnestly. "I'm frustrated at this report, but it has nothing to do with you. I really need to stop snapping at you. You're only trying to help, I know…"
She gave him a small smile. "It's all right, Cullen. I shouldn't have interrupted your work."
"I meant it when I said I don't mind," his voice was low; he was giving her that lopsided grin again.
Her heart sped up. It had been weeks since he'd looked at her like that, and she felt her cheeks grow warm. There had been so much tension with them recently, and she had been gone so long in Crestwood. She had felt herself doubting whether or not they could return to their easygoing camaraderie of Haven. Her realization that she cared about him in the Chantry felt so long ago, but she hadn't been able to think of what to do about it in the midst of everything that had happened since then. Another doubt had started to creep into her mind, a crippling doubt that had made her lash out at him when he had reminded her of the Templars in Ostwick. She felt a pang of guilt as she remembered the look on his face when she'd sneered and called him 'Knight-Commander.'
"Cullen, could you -" she began, but her nerve fled, and she redirected her question. She couldn't bring herself to ask that, couldn't risk the pain of rejection she would feel when he answered her as she feared he might. Instead she said, "I know I apologized, last night, but I wanted to do so again. I never should have called you Knight-Commander. And I'm sorry, too, for the way my magic was flaring up. You were standing so close to me, I know you had to feel it…"
He raised his eyebrows and contemplated her across the desk. "I did, yes," he admitted slowly. "You don't need to apologize but…thank you for doing so, it means a great deal to me."
They fell into a comfortable silence, and she noticed that a thoughtful smile was tugging at his lips as he looked at her. She was sure she was blushing under his careful regard, and she looked away. "Are you certain there isn't anything I can do to help?"
"For the moment, just rest, Evelyn," he said softly. "That will do plenty to help."