I was thrown into a cell with Rosalie. The others were taken even further into the dungeons, thrown in cells far away from us. Rosalie and I were practically at the exit.

I lay motionless, to tired and blown out to move. Rosalie crawled over to me as the door to the stairs slammed shut again. There were surprisingly no guards left with us down there in the musty torch light. I assumed they were all top side and even if we did try to escape would be able to stop us.

"Easy, Swan," Rosalie murmured to me as she rolled me over on to my back and I whined slightly, now able to feel the full effects of my beating with no distractions.

The pain was intense; I knew my bones were broken in many places and were slowly healing up. My armored skin was shattered off in great pieces, leaving ugly gray gashes along my body. The gray skin was tender and felt horribly exposed. Even the torchlight made it hurt.

But even as I lay there, my body was already working hard to seal them up. They were already smaller than they had been in the Court.

Of course, when you're in agony down to your cells, it's not much comfort. It would take a long time before I was fully healed.

"What did I tell you, idiot?" she muttered to me as I stared at the stone ceiling. Her voice wasn't particularly scathing, just soft and regretful. She sighed as she looked down at me. She curled her legs under herself and sat close to me, Indian style.

I looked at her helplessly. I knew I was stupid for using all my strength up like that, for ignoring her warnings about those powers.

But how was I supposed to stop that from happening? She hadn't told me how instant the fury came, how impossible it was to fight it when the object of your rage was right there in front of you, begging to be destroyed.

My throat closed up as she looked down on me with her exhausted black eyes.

Rosalie deserved none of this. None of the Cullens did, but she above all was the biggest pawn in the game. She had been used more than any of us, lied to, tricked and abused just so that Alice and I could be lied to, tricked and abused. She always bore the brunt of the assault and never said a word about it.

I felt guilt and shame welling up in me as she stared down at me, as if sizing up my injuries and figuring out what to say to me.

How would I ever be able to say thank you enough to her, even if it all ended in a few days? She'd stayed by me and Alice the whole way, protected me just as much as my mate, willingly and without faltering. Rosalie was an amazing person, if a bit terrifying and overwhelmingly cynical.

"I don't feel it anymore," she finally said, her eyes searching my face.

Huh?

Confused, I stared up at her.

"Don't look at me like that, Swan. You know what I'm talking about," Rosalie huffed and glared down at me, but the glare wasn't genuine.

Uh, no, I really don't. What was she talking about?

"Please don't make me say it. It's embarrassing enough that it actually happened."

My god, Rose, now is not the time to play the guessing game with Bella. Please just spit it out before my skull implodes.

She just stared at me.

I was going to have to ask directly.

Sigh.

"What're you talkin' abou'?" I slurred, my throat aching as I talked.

Rosalie's eyes rolled slowly, patronizingly before they landed back on mine.

"I kissed you, genius. Remember that? I know now isn't the best time to bring that up…"

I almost choked on the excess venom that was pooling in my mouth.

How could I have been so stupid?

I had completely forgotten to tell her about what Victoria had done to her!

"But I don't feel it anymore. I don't…Feel for you anymore, Bella," Rosalie continued.

Hey now.

My expression was a bit wounded at that. Just because she wasn't in love with me didn't mean she didn't have to care about me…

Again, her eyes rolled in her angelic face and she scowled down at me. It was almost endearing how familiar the look was.

"That's not what I mean. I just don't like you like that anymore. I used to feel it so strongly and now I…I don't. And I'm sorry," she added.

Okay, slow down, honey. I can't keep up with you when you switch gears that fast. I can barely keep up with my own thought process at the moment.

"I'm sorry about all of that. I never got a chance to tell you that. I'm so, so sorry Bella. I yelled at you on the plane like all of this was your fault, but it was mine. I'm sorry for kissing you. I had no right. I knew Alice would see it in her visions and it would all go badly for us, but I couldn't stop myself. I-I didn't mean to let it happen, but it did. I was just so confused, Bella. I'm not…Good with my feelings, and it all happened so fast, and then you got hurt, and Alice is-she-"

Uh oh.

Nuh uh.

Quit it.

Fuck, she's crying.

Rosalie was crying. Her face had steadily gotten more and more ashamed and broken and now she was actually sobbing with shiny eyes and clutching herself and man I really can't stand it when girls cry.

"Rose-" I croaked, but she shook her head and bit down hard on her bottom lip.

"I'm sorry, Bella, I'm so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen. I never meant for her to get hurt, I never wanted any of this."

My breath hitched. She was talking about Alice. It made my heart pound and I fought the surge of fire in my cells at the mentioning of my severed connection with my mate. I felt raw all over again and I panted at the rush of unpleasant sensation.

"Stop, stop," I panted. "Rose, no. S'not your fault. S'Victoria's, she did it. Was Victoria and crazy bitch, not you…"

It was all I could manage to get it all out as Rosalie's pretty face dissolved into self loathing and she kept muttering apologies under her breath.

She didn't know, she had no way of knowing that her feelings had been manipulated for so long by Victoria. Rosalie didn't know that her feelings had not been her own, had been fake and forced.

I didn't blame her. I would never blame anyone but myself and Sulpicia for Alice's death. I couldn't stand the idea that Rosalie hated herself, blamed herself for Alice's death when her part in it had been forced by that ginger whore Victoria.

I was seriously pissed at myself for letting that little detail slip.

And by the way, seeing the untouchable Rosalie break down like that is really painful to watch. It seemed she'd finally reached her stoic limit.

"What?" Rosalie breathed, looking down at me with wide, watery eyes. "W-what do you mean?"

"Victoria…Can…Make you…Feel things…Not real…Used her powers…Tricked you. Tricked us," I wheezed out and Rosalie's face screwed up in anger.

There's my girl.

"I should have known. I should have known! Even in death she still gets to me! Damn it!" Rosalie cursed, shaking her head and rubbing furiously at her eyes to get the tears out of them. "To think I…God, I still should have been able to protect her. I should have been able to protect you both, Bella. I tried. I really tried. I'm sorry. I wish…"

I put my hand on hers with a tremendous effort, stopping her in the middle of her unneeded apologies.

None of this was on Rosalie. I needed her to know that I didn't blame her for any of this. She had no idea how much she meant to me, to Alice, how much she had done for us.

She swallowed hard, looked at our hands and then back to my face. She hesitantly put her hand on my cheek, cradling it as I grimaced in agony, my body oblivious to how much I hated the pain of being put back together again. It was awful as my Vampriosia cells sewed me back together, bit by bit.

It was odd, but undeniably comforting to experience affection from Rosalie that wasn't violent or angry in nature.

"You have lost so much, Bella…So much…And you never deserved any of this…"

My thoughts were consumed by Alice again, though. I couldn't fight them away, so weak in that moment. They flooded me and I gasped as an entirely different, more intense agony took over me.

I missed her. I missed Alice so badly that I couldn't even begin to fight it.

I missed her smile, her laugh, her scent, her touch, her taste, her eyes and her perfect marble face.

I missed her and nothing was going to bring her back.

Flashbacks hit me before I knew what was happening. Each one was like a punch to the gut and I sobbed openly, felt Rosalie's thumb brush over my cheek.

"Bella! Bella, over here!" I was in the lunchroom, looking for a place to sit to wait on the Cullens, but they were already there. Alice was calling me over, waving her hand high above her head and giving no fucks about the stares she was getting.

Her wide golden eyes locked on mine and her smiling face left me beaming, helpless under her loving gaze.

The scene changed.

"Do you know how beautiful you are, Bella? You are so beyond perfect…"

We were lying in her bed together, holding our hands together between us, and all I could see were honey amber eyes, looking at me with so much love and devotion that it took my breath away.

Another one hit me. This time my breath caught in my throat and my voice rose to a pained cry as Rosalie hushed me softly, trying to soothe me. I felt her other hand on my other cheek, cradling my face as I squeezed her hand tightly.

We were curled up together at the far edge of the forest behind her house, sitting on an Indian blanket with her arms wrapped around me and my face buried into the crook of her neck. It was midnight and her skin was glowing, shimmering as if the water from the lake was lapping at her, as if the moon was living inside of her.

Alice caught me staring and quirked an eyebrow at me. I drank in the sight of her, loving her with every inch of my eyes. Her soft, heart shaped lips curled into a gentile smile and my heart lost its regular rhythm.

How had I gotten such a wonderful girl as my lover? Did I really deserve such a perfect being?

"Stop looking at me like that," Alice murmured as she nuzzled my nose affectionately and wound her arm tighter around my waist.

She smelled so good, like September rain and the fresh air of Autumn when the leaves are all spectacular colors, golden like her eyes.

"Like what?" I mumbled back, giddy in her embrace, like a lovesick puppy.

"Like you're questioning whether or not you're good enough for me. I can see it in your eyes, Bella, don't lie…"

How could she have known? Edward was the mind reader, not her. I blinked, surprised at her insight but she only giggled, leaned in and kissed my lips tenderly, letting her electricity tingle its way along my mouth and straight to my toes that curled in delight.

"I love you so much, Bella. You are it for me. Don't ever think you're not, sweetheart, darling, beautiful Bella…You are my lovely Isabella and I wouldn't trade you for anything, even the moon and stars hanging up there in the sky because you are so much better than anything in or out of this world…"

I was ripped from the memory like a fish being pulled out of water. I gasped and clutched Rosalie's hand so tightly that minute cracks shot out along her knuckles but she only held my face tighter, whispered more of her soothing nonsense to me, but none of it helped.

Nothing could help me as I lay there, writhing, broken.

I yearned so deeply for Alice that nothing could make it stop. Nothing would ever make it stop.

But there were some things that could make me believe none of it had ever happened for a little while…

One of those things happened to be a guard opening the door of our cell and throwing in a murdered deer, a strong buck with antlers that twisted high above his head.

I hadn't even heard him coming in my despair and bone breaking agony. Rosalie hissed at the guard and grunted when the deer landed only inches from my face, sliding a little before stopping.

Luckily, his throat was right next to me.

My pupils blew out and my body lurched immediately, the vampire in me growling roughly. My face was torn from Rosalie's hands and my fangs ripped into the dead animal, and seconds later my mouth was filled with blood that would never be as delicious as it should be, but was satisfying enough.

"Dinner's up!" the guard called, chuckling as he walked away and I began to gorge myself. Every mouthful was a balm to my aching muscles, the sting in my cells. Feeding took my mind away from me, left me without any conscious thought but the need to satisfy my hunger. Rosalie sat back with a sigh and just watched me.

Beyond this, there was only one other thing that would ever soothe my need for Alice, and that was going to happen in three days time, when I swore I would kill Sulpicia.

For Alice. For my Alice…

Three days passed.

With each hour my body grew stronger, piece by agonizing piece, my skin reformed, my bones set back straight and true, and my cells reformed and went to work. Every day they dropped off a large buck, only one.

I wondered briefly why Sulpicia never forced human blood on me. The only theory I could come up with was that she knew I wouldn't take human blood, and she just wanted me recovered so she could go ahead and kill me.

Rosalie would not let me share. She absolutely refused. When I started getting mad at her for it, she said, "You're going to need every ounce of strength you have to beat that bitch. I'm not taking one damn bit of it from you. I refuse to be the reason you get your ass killed, Swan."

And so she sat in the corner whenever I fed, covering her nose and grumbling her way through my feeding frenzies. I grew much stronger every time I finished feeding, the blood giving my Vampriosia cells a super charge to keep me healing.

By the end of the second day, my skin had completely sealed up.

By the end of the third day, my body stopped hurting, even if my heart never would.

And on the start of the fourth, the guards came for us. I knew what they were there for even though the passing of time had been hard to guess, because they only ever came down here to throw a dead animal at my face and stalk back out.

I had never been more ready for anything in my entire life.

Rosalie was miserable and we both knew it. Her face looked as starved as Esme's had as the Elite walked in, pulled us to our feet and marched us out of the cell. We were led up that long staircase, and my mind was focused in on only one thing.

I was going to kill her. There was no question about that to me. There was no, 'What if I lose? What if she beats me? What if I can't do it? What if she's stronger? What if I die?'

Because it didn't matter. Not anymore. My thoughts had been consumed by my Alice in our stay in the cell. They reinforced my mind again and again, closing off all thoughts of losing or dying.

If I died, so be it.

But I would take her with me, no matter what it took.

I know that I may have been confident without reason or any way to back it up. But I felt sure of this in a way I'd never been sure of anything else. I knew I had the ability to ward off her mind control powers, knew nobody else would interfere because Sulpicia had a point to make. Maybe I could use Alice's powers, too. I even considered using Jane's if it came to that. I knew I had Rosalie's powers swimming in me, though they'd practically killed me before.

I would take that trade any day. What did I have to live for without Alice anyway?

Call it dramatic if you want. Call it suicidal. Fine. I accept that.

I never truly understood the connection of mates before Alice died. I never understood why Carlisle was so adamant on making me understand how intense and real it is. It wasn't just some magical idea in our heads; there was something deeply primal about the connection of vampire mates.

And severing that tie killed something inside of you. Something you could never get back.

We spilled out into the hallway with the guards surrounding us. They stood close to Rose and I, but didn't hold us.

They knew we weren't going anywhere.

Well, Rosalie might have wanted to go hunting, so they stood closer to her than me, but there was no doubt that I was going straight to the Court, where they had told me the battle was to take place.

I wasn't running. I wasn't scared. I wasn't afraid as we reached those mahogany doors. One of the guards reached for them.

"Wait," I said forcefully and he paused, giving me a weird look. He glanced at his companions but I just took a deep breath and ignored Rosalie's eyes on me.

I stared at the wooden grain of the doors, soaking it in for a moment.

This was it. No turning back. I was going to put everything on the line in the next few seconds of my life.

It was almost impossible to believe everything that had happened. I had met Alice Cullen, fallen in love with her, in detention of all places, learned that she was a freaking vampire and that werewolves existed, that we were all some part of a ridiculously long and drawn out plot by some psycho jealous bitch, been changed into a vampire, and lost Alice to the insanity.

It was a far cry from my human life.

And to whoever said "It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all" is full of shit.

Just saying. Famous last words, huh?

"Okay. I'm ready," I finally said and before any of them could stop me, I stepped forward and pushed the doors open myself and walked in, ready for whatever was about to go down.

But I already knew in my aching heart that the only thing going down that day would be Sulpicia.