Chapter 38: Control

Michael

"Isabel! Liz said to help clean-not redecorate!" I complained as Isabel started to move the couch with her powers.

Isabel shrugged innocently. "I'm just trying to make it more feng shui, if you will," Isabel replied with an innocent smile on her face. "You know where the window has to face the bed or something like that," she tried to explain.

"That's nice. All I want is *my couch* facing *my television* so I can watch TV, have the remote close, and scratch my ass whenever I please."

She scrunched her nose up in disgust. "How does Liz tolerate you?"

"Once Michael stops drugging her, she'll leave him real quick," Alex quipped as he finished wiping down the counter. Isabel gave him a high-five and I glared at him.

"Funny, Alex," I said. "Now move the couch back, Isabel. Now."

Isabel rolled her eyes at me. "Fine," and with a push of her powers, my couch was where it was supposed to be. Alex frowned as he glanced at the clock.

"Shouldn't Liz be home by now?" he asked, biting his lip nervously.

"She probably just needs to be alone right now," Isabel reasoned. "She's been through a lot today."

Alex frowned. "I know," he said sadly. "I just wish she'd realize she needs us."

"She doesn't know what she need right now," Isabel said sadly.

Liz

"Did you know?" I asked immediately when Tristan answered the door. Tristan scratched his head in confusion and gestured to the inside of his room.

"I'm watching a game, Parker," he began. His eyes took in my appearance: tear tracks, tightly clenched fists, a less than friendly expression. "What happened?" he asked in concern. "Do you want to come in?"

"No. I want you to answer my damn question, Tristan."

Tristan regarded me with a stony stare. "Come in."

Once the door was closed, I sighed heavily. "They told you not to tell me, didn't they?" I asked softly, my anger at Tristan dissipating a bit.

Tristan roughly rubbed his forehead, his face contorted in frustration. "If I told you, they'd take away my jurisdiction over you. I couldn't let that happen," he said firmly as he reached out to me.

"No!" I shouted as I moved from his grip. "You've been lying to me! How long have you known?"

"Just since when I inherited my powers as a Seer. I wanted to tell you but I knew that my position as your Seer could keep them from completely controlling you!"

I shook my head in disbelief. Tristan reached out again and caught my elbow. "I was doing what I thought was best," he said in a low voice.

As much as I tried to push back my angry feelings of betrayal towards Tristan, they rose to the surface when he touched me. "If you touch me again, I'll kill you," I ground out and jerked my arm away from him. His face flushed with pain and my heart lurched. I wrapped my arms around myself. "I've been looking for answers all of this time, Tristan. I never understand why it was *me*-why I finally found all that I wanted and it was still *me*! What did they do, Tristan? Just randomly pick a person whose live they wanted to play puppet with. Those bastards chose me to die! They've been controlling my life!"

"They can't control you," Tristan said quietly.

"Cal said-"

"They can't control *you*. They have control over Antar and its people. You have Antarian powers and Antarian cells but you're human. If they could control you, Liz, you wouldn't need me. They've been manipulating you into believing in what you should do."

I threw up my hands. "I am so sick and tired of hearing about what I *should* do!"

"You did it on your own will, Liz!"

I froze. "What?"

"They can see the future, Liz. All they can see are the big moments and in the end, Liz, you chose to die! They showed me, Liz, because I didn't believe them."

"I would *never* choose-" I began.

"You weren't supposed to. That's why they have me here guiding you. That's why they've been keeping such a close eye on you. All they know is that somewhere along the line, they lost control and you had more power than they did."

Shock radiated through my body. "Why would I do that?" I asked in a small voice. "Why would I- I'm so confused. I don't know if I'm one step ahead by knowing this or if all of this is *supposed* to happen or…"

"If this is what they were trying to avoid," Tristan said. I blinked at him through my tears. "What if this was the point they lost control?"

I sat down in a nearby chair. "I don't know what to believe," I said weakly. "If all they want is control, why would they pick someone who they have none over."

"Because obligation doesn't always work with people. You didn't accept your fate because the Council gave it to but because you want to help people. Because your heart is too attached to the cause. Because, even if you don't believe what I told you, only you would still choose your fate when you had a choice. I know that your selection looks like a punishment but they didn't do it because you were a bad person. They did it because they know you aren't."

Taking a deep breath, I grasped desperately for answers. I knew that I couldn't find any. "I know that you just wanted to help me, Tristan, and eventually I'll be OK with what you did. But honestly, right now-"

"You don't have to explain," he said. "So what are you going to do now?"

"I have an idea but I want to go over it as a group first," I said, being a bit vague. "I also want to tell them about everything I figured out today but not about the whole…." I trailed off, not believing it enough to say it. "It would hurt Michael."

Tristan nodded. "I'm sorry, Liz."

Ignoring him, I stood up and began for the door. "I'm going to get to the Crashdown. I have a meeting with Nicolas."

"You alright going by yourself?"

I smiled weakly. "Superwomen, remember?"

"Liz…" he began.

I shrugged. "I have a couple of aggressions to work out."

"A couple? Considering the day you've been having, you might kill him."

' "That's kinda of the point, Tris."

Tristan's eyes narrowed. "Don't you think that would piss Khivar off?"

"Once again, Tristan, that would be the point."

"The answer is no, by the way," I said with nonchalance as Nicolas tried to get up. I took in his bloodied lip with satisfaction. The minute he walked past the make-shift Crashdown door, he went flying into a nearby wall. Hard. Now his eyes looked up at me in surprise.

"Boy did you catch me on a bad day, Nicolas. Sucks to be you," I quipped as I sent a strong blast to his abdomen and he screamed in pain.

Nicolas met my eyes with all the loathing hatred he could summon. "Killing me won't do any good."

I laughed and Nicolas frowned at my response. "Who said anything about killing you? I could always keep you here."

I saw Nicolas began to reach for his lower back for his detonator button. I shook my head and him and used my powers to freeze all of his muscles. "That would be too easy, don't you think? Too painless. Face it, Nicolas, you're going to be here for a while."

"I won't give you any information," he gritted out.

"I hardly expected you to. You're just a victim of circumstance. You see, as much as I hate your little guts, it's not so much about killing you as much as it the look on Khivar's face when he finds out that you aren't coming back. That is if he even cares. I guess it's the principle that really matters here. You see, I'm quite sick and tired of waiting around for orders from a bunch of old guys up there. And for some reason they don't want me to mess with Khivar. I figure sending him your dead carcass will piss everyone off or at least I hope."

All the while I was talking, I had knelt next to Nicolas and placed my hand to his head. His skin began to shrink and whittle as I took out all the water from his husk. His face contorted in pain. "NO! Spare me, please!" he shouted in out in a last attempt at salvation.

"You didn't spare my father, did you?" I tossed back, sending out a bit more energy.

"Is that what this is about? I was given orders!"

"Does it look like I care *why* you did it?" I growled out. "He was innocent."

"He was your father! I attacked him for the same reason you're attacking me. Whatever sick pleasure you'll get from seeing the look on Khivar's face, believe me he felt the same about the fire. What do you think the purpose of burning down your beloved house was? Your father was a victim of circumstance. You're just as bad as Khivar-as bad at me."

I jerked away from Nicolas as if he had burned me. He turned his to side and grasped at his dry, wrinkly skin. "That's a lie," I said weakly. Nicolas grimaced in pain and pinned me with a glare.

"Is it? You and Khivar are connected. The same essence is contained in both of you. Both of you had potential for either good or evil and you chose your path. He chose his. There is a such thing as a balance of good and evil, Liz."

Considering this, I kicked him in the side. "I'm good."

"The hero, right? You're going to selfishly give up your live to save others," he said mockingly.

"That's more than I can say for you," I said, inwardly cringing at his words.

"I mean what can you really accomplish? So you piss off those Council bastards but it doesn't change your future. It doesn't change a single damn thing. Once you get caught up with what's meant to be and what's not, things get very confusing don't they? Are you *supposed* to kill me? Was your father *supposed* to die? Why are you *supposed* to die?"

His face froze with fear when he saw me raise my hand. Before he could scream, he was a pile of ash. I stared at the remains of Nicolas with a bittersweet feeling swelling in my chest. It was revenge-justice really. But everything he said was right. I had gone no where. It felt good to hurt him. But I still felt lost-alone.

Taking a deep shaky breath, I felt a tear fall down my cheek.

*Are you *supposed* to kill me? Was your father *supposed* to die? Why are you *supposed* to die?*

Because I wanted to.

He didn't deserve it.

Because I choose to.