A/N: OKay it's short but I wanted to concentrate on one aspect here. Enjoy

Chapter 38: Loss

Mike looked at the doctor as he talked to him. He couldn't hear anything, he couldn't feel anything except for the heart renching pain consuming the inside of his body. How could this have happened?

His mind flashed back to the call he received. He answered his phone angrily thinking it was Susan leaving yet another message of apology. He wasn't prepared for the words of Sophie telling him to get to the hospital and that there had been an accident.

An accident with Susan, he had immediately gotten into his car and drove like a mad man to the hospital. All thoughts running though his mind. If anything happened to Susan he would never forgive himself. This was all his fault. He silently prayed to whoever was listening to keep her alive.

Apparently she was on her way looking for him when the truck ran into her car. What the hell was the driver doing crossing a red light. Mike had wanted to go out , find him and make him pay for what he did. But what good was that going to do. It wasn't going to take away the fact that Susan was in the hospital fighting for her life.

Hours passed and he listened to the cries of Julie, the comforting words of Susan's friends and the sympathetic glances of everyone. They were all looking at him with pain and regret.

Mike entered the small hospital room where the small brunette lay. Closing the door silently behind him, he turned towards the bed with bloodshot eyes, focusing on her face and on her now-flat stomach where their child had resided less than fifteen hours before.

Swallowing roughly, Mike walked towards the bed, sitting down hard in the seat next to her bed. Taking her hand, he sighed sadly and felt more tears well in his eyes as thoughts of what their life could have been like. His fingers danced across her belly as his others stroked the palm of her hand. The baby would have been growing inside of her right there. Life at its best.

The doctor had told him that they would have had a boy. Another brother for the twins and Julie.

Kissing his wife' s knuckles lightly, Mike felt them twitch slightly. His eyes flew to her face and saw her confused hazel eyes staring back at him. Smiling sadly, Mike kissed her hand, the fingers to his other hand continually stroking her belly softly.

"Hey," he said softly. A tear slipped out the corner of her eye and Mike reached forward to wipe it away.

"Mike...I'm...sorry..." Susan whispered sadly, capturing his hand in hers and holding it to her chest. Mike's heart broke at the incredible sadness he saw in her eyes. The desperation and regret and guilt. A lump formed in the back of his throat when he felt his own tears start to stream down his face.

Kissing her hand once more, Mike leaned forward, resting his hand on her empty stomach. He saw her swallow roughly and heard a sob escape her throat. Mike freed both of his hands from her grasp and placed them on her belly where he lay. Rubbing his face into the thin hospital gown over her skin, Mike gave in and started crying.

"Oh, God, Susan, we lost him. He's gone..." Smiling sadly, he looked up into his wife's surprised eyes. "

"Mike what are you talking about?" she asked her voice suddenly fearful. She breathed in shakily watching Mike's tearful face.

"You were pregnant?" he spoke we were going to have a baby.

"Pregnant?" she asked in disbelief.

" I'm sorry," he whispered.

"NONONONONNOONONONNONONOOOOOOOOOOO," she screamed her cries echoing around the small room.

Mike grabbed onto her arms softly not moving back as she pounded at his chest with furious strokes. He held her as she went limp in his arms and cried against his chest.

"Why...? Why Mike?" she sniffled. "Why..our baby?"

His shoulders shook with his own tears as he said, "I'm sorry, baby, I'm so sorry. God, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..

Lifting her hand, she ran her fingers through his hair at the nape of his neck, her fingers scraping against his scalp as his hot tears wet the hospital gown she wore. Feeling her own tears start to flow down her cheeks, Susan traced his cheek with her other hand, her fingernail grazing him gently as she attempted to wipe away the many tears on his face.

"What...What..would..."she began unable to form any words.

"The doctor said that we would have had a little boy. A little guy...so small and helpless... gone all because of that asshole..."

"Mike?..." Susan said softly, keeping her eyes on her hand. He studied her face. "What if...what if I...I can't have another little baby?"

"Don't think that way, baby. Of course you can have another little boy or girl. I know you can."

"How-"

"I just do." Mike kissed her stomach softly, wishing he had known what if felt like to feel the slight bulge in her stomach that he had failed to notice before. In all the time he had touched her, he hadn't noticed anything. Susan hadn't even began to get sick yet, or show any signs that she had any idea she was pregnant. He looked up at Susan with love in his eyes. "What should we call him?"

Susan's eyes widened and she knew immediately what she wanted to call him. "Matthew Delfino."

Mike's eyes made contact with hers again, his eyes shiny with tears. "I love you."

Susan smiled, choking back a sob. "I love you, too."

Closing his eyes and once again giving into his sadness and sobbing against her stomach.

Susan cupped his face in her hands and cradling him against her as they cried for the loss of their child, for the loss of the baby they never knew they had.

TBC

A/N: Okay don't hate me next part coming soon