A big hug to xxCee-Gisborne-Cullenxx for being such a kind and quick beta

Illusions 37

Marian had slept soundly and dreamlessly and was grateful that nothing had disturbed her slumber, not even her usual dreams of Guy and her, his smile, his lips on hers, his hand her naked skin. Perhaps the sight of the rage on his face and his irreconcilability had done something to her she not succeeded in before – banning all thoughts of Guy. While in the convent she had tried hard to forget him, but it had only been her mind during the day; her heart had not followed at night.

She would leave Wales as soon as possible; Rhobert ap Morthwyl had promised her to let her go if she wished to. She spoke French and in the South of France, she would try to build a new life. She had hesitated at first when she had learnt that King Richard had set off to France for a military expedition, but what else should she do? Nearly all the countries surrounding England were either vassals or in war with England at one time or another. She would seek shelter in a village rather than a town, far away from the courts of nobility and far away from war.

A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts; a servant brought breakfast and Marian forced herself to eat. When it knocked again shortly afterwards, she knew this had to be Rhobert. Gazing at him, she knew at once that something was different; he was… more reserved than he had been before and she knew why – he had changed his mind about her. She beckoned him to take a seat and looked at him fiercely. "To cut a long story short," she said without preliminaries. "I will do what I had intended to do anyway. I take it that I may enjoy your hospitality until I can go aboard a ship to France." Her voice was brusque and her mien harsh.

He should have been content; this was the best solution for everyone, but Rhobert knew at once that he didn't want to take the easy way out. "Tell me what happened between you and Guy," he asked her softly.

"And you will believe me and Guy will believe me and we will live happily ever after? - Don't be absurd!" she burst out.

"Please tell me nonetheless," Rhobert replied.

Marian stared at him and laughed, her voice bitter. "You want to hear my version? I'm well aware that you are Guy's friend and looking at you I know that you have already passed judgement on me. He's got good reasons not wanting to see me again; I'd only hoped…"

Rhobert gazed at the young woman, who had stood up and was pacing restlessly. Obviously, she was too shaken to think clearly. She drew a deep breath and finally continued without looking at Rhobert. "You know that I spied on him. I had known for a long time that he had feelings for me, although at first I was not aware what kind of feelings. I rather suspected that I was part of him ambitious scheme to restore the prestige of his family. I didn't mind tricking him; I wanted to help the villagers in Nottingham and he was the corrupt sheriff's henchman. I only accepted his offer of marriage because I saw no way out and it was only later that I realised that there was something between… But even then I didn't want to …I didn't want to want him, do you understand?... When I left him at the altar, I humiliated him beyond compare and nonetheless he was willing to forgive me and to believe me… Sometimes he was so…so different and then… He saved my life and risked everything for me. I was so ashamed. My whole life I had loved Robin of Locksley and suddenly I realised that everything was…. And when they captured him… I didn't want him to die and the King had promised me a reward. I knew that he hated me, I saw his gaze then at the King's Court… It's madness, I have fallen in love with a man I never wanted and Robin of Locksley has become a…a fawning courtier, who's not able to look beyond himself and the King. Yes, and the King….!" She laughed shrilly and bitterly. "The King only fulfilled my plea because he was sure that I would become his mistress….. All this does probably make no sense for you…"

But they did; all these confused and desperate words made perfect sense and Rhobert knew at once that Guy had been mistaken. It had not only been pity she had felt for him and definitely no vengeance. Marian's dreams of love had been crushed by reality. Her eyes were too big in her face and Rhobert saw how hard she tried to suppress the tears which threatened to surface.

He would have to tell Guy about this conversation and would convince him to talk to Marian once more. "I believe you, my Lady," he said. "And I will tell Guy…"

Marian shook her head. "No, don't; it is over and I don't want his pity."

Rhobert nearly smiled; these two were more similar than they themselves knew. But then he sobered. "I would not act against your wishes, Lady Marian, but I think you are making a mistake," he said eventually. He had brought her here although Guy had told him that he didn't want to see her again and he had awakened hope in her. He would not meddle with her affairs again. "You've told me that you wanted to leave for France; shall I aid you with this?

Marian nodded and Rhobert continued. "I know that in about a week a ship is sailing to France. You may stay with me and my fiancée Gwyneth; it will be best anyway, since you don't understand our language… Nevertheless, I will have to present you to Lord Rhys tonight." Then he smiled. "There is another person whose company I could recommend to you. His name is Bran and he will certainly use this opportunity to talk in English." At Marian's close-lipped expression he added. "Bran is seven years old." Obviously he had said the right thing, since her lips curled in a tiny smile. "I'm grateful; this should be the right company for me."

"Then I will send him to you," Rhobert replied and bowed.

The presentation to Lord Rhys was only brief as Marian had thought herself. He was an imposing figure despite his age and polite but reserved. When she asked him to get his permission to leave with the next ship available, he gave his permission at once and allowed her to withdraw soon enough.

Not much later she saw Bran for the first time; he seemed guarded and nearly suspicious. Marian didn't know what the boy had heard about her. Probably most people only knew that she had known Guy and that he didn't want to see her know. The Welsh Court was provided with ample opportunity to gossip.

Astonished, she had learned that he was Lord Rhys's youngest son and that he was trained by Guy. "I like him and he is a good teacher." he said and looked at Marian challengingly. Dare to deny this! His gaze seemed to say. But when she didn't contradict but looked at him encouragingly and asked him what kind of weapons he liked, he became more open. He was somewhat surprised - a woman who was interested in weapons? He had a sword his father had had made for him for his birthday. Mostly he trained with a friend and Guy was showing him different tricks and he was the best warrior here anyway – besides his father of course – and…

Marian nodded; for her moment she gazed into space and Bran frowned. She quickly recovered herself and smiled at Bran, glad that the touch of melancholy was over so soon. Yes, she could imagine how he dealt with the boy, even though she had never seen him with a youth. What Rhobert had told her and what she had hoped for… If Guy had had a son, he would have looked similar to Bran with his dark locks…. I'm dreaming again.

"I have to learn English to understand my en… the English better," she heard Bran say. "Can you tell me about England? Do you know the English King?"

Marian's smile froze and the boy saw at once that something was at fault. "Yes, I know the English King," she said slowly. "He is dangerous… I can tell you about England, but mostly, it is not different from Wales, a bit warmer perhaps and the people are the same everywhere. If you want to I can tell you about Nottingham where I grew up. My father was the Sheriff but then he grew old and one day, there was a new Sheriff…"

Guy was glad when Rhobert told him that Marian would leave Wales soon; a few days from now his life was what it used to be. He had seen that his friend hand wanted to say more but then he had shaken his head slightly and had left.

Yes, he was glad and it was good that she seemed to be indoors most of the time; so at least he didn't have to see her. It had only been a glimpse at the castle gate, big eyes in a pale face…damn!

Angrily he tossed his sword to the ground and Bran, who was sitting opposite him cleaning his own dagger and sword, looked up, startled. He had never seen his teacher so glum. Guy bowed down to pick up his weapon, when Bran asked him. "Is this about the English lady that you are so sour? I like her alright."

Guy froze and then cleared his throat. "You've talked to her then?"

"Yes, Rhobert thought that I should bear her company and learn some more English. She even asked about my weapons and what I like and I have told her that you are my teacher…and she knows the English King and told me he is dangerous and that her father used to be the Sheriff in Nottingham until he got to old and that there was another Sheriff she fought against… a woman…and she had fought…" Bran said, obviously impressed.

Guy's heart sank; why had the boy not turned in horror from him by now? He had to know…

But Bran continued. "She told me that she knows some tricks, too. Have you seen her fighting? I would like to see that…"

Obviously Marian had not told the boy about all the crimes he had committed. Bran was as impartial as before. "Yes, I have seen her fighting and she is…good, she…" He halted.

Bran frowned. "She was odd and looked funny when I talked about you." He grabbed his sword and began to polish it. He sighed; hopefully, Guy would be back to normal soon. He knew quite well what it was that gave Guy such foul mood; it was luuuuuvve and if you got so moody, he would definitely keep away from it for his whole life.

Guy rose and left the armoury without a word. Marian, had she talked to the boy in order to butter him up and why had Rhobert sent Bran to her in the first place? He would have to talk to Rhobert. Then he drew a deep breath. No, Rhobert would not meddle; this he was sure of. And it was not that important anyway… only a few days and he would never see her again… never again…

Without being aware, he headed toward the building where the guests were accommodated.