A/N: The lighthouse in this work is a compilation of different structures, and is not the meant to be modeled after any specific building.

Chapter 38

They entered the cylindrical building to begin their ascent. From the floor, the stairway was a winding passageway of rock along the walls of the lighthouse. Old-fashioned iron lanterns hung down from poles driven into the undersides of the rock stairs at intervals. The stairs, winding ever upwards and becoming more narrow with each turn, allowed the bars with their lanterns to extend out over the railing making its illumination like a decorative trim as one looked up from the center.

As they neared the half-way point of the climb, Anne could make out Louisa's exclamations above her. "I think we are not far behind," she stated to the Captain. The man made no move to hurry forward, so Anne matched her pace to his.

"Do you see those deep sills in the stone?" he asked, referring to the large windows that allowed a small amount of light to enter the building at infrequent posts along the way. "I should think they would do very little on their own."

"And yet, they bring a very friendly aspect to the place, I think."

He stopped on a step and looked toward the window within view. "Yes, that is right. You see," he turned to the small woman, "I have you to thank for giving me a new perspective. Whereas I looked upon it as dreariness, you see it as friendly. I see hopelessness where you see encouragement to grow and learn." He shook his head and continued upward.

They reached a plateau but did not rest on the bench there. The voices of their party were becoming more distinct. The stairway narrowed, and there were no more niches in which to find rest; they were compelled to continue to the top. Finally, they reached the tourists in the tiny service room just below the great lantern above. Mary was seated in a corner with her head in her hands as Charles stood over her attentively.

At Anne's inquiry, Louisa stated, "She went out on the balcony. We told her she should not have, but she wouldn't listen."

"I didn't want to be alone here while you went up to see the view! Oh, sister! Don't go up there. It is -," Mary sighed. "I am trying to get my bearings."

Charles, his hand on her shoulder, stated loyally. "She's been a brave one. Even from this height many might not have continued."

Anne now stepped onto the platform. Before, she had only rested on the step to take in the crowded room her sister and the others inhabited. The moment her frame reached the level of the room, she felt the opposing winds that tore through the open windows on three sides of her. It was a gusty pull, even from the enclosed area. She could imagine that the force above was much stronger.

"I am sure the whole lighthouse tilted when I was holding the rail. I felt I would plunge to my death!" Mary said to her husband then bent her head to her hands again.

Anne noticed the smile that was shared between Louisa and her sister. If Mary was hoping for sympathy, she would not receive it from Charles' sisters.

"Do you think you can start down the steps now, my dear?" Charles asked her. He took her arm and wrapped it in his own as she stood up.

"I will try," she answered pitifully, "but my knees are still shaking."

"There's a sport," her husband encouraged as she began to walk toward the railing.

"Oh," she braced herself against the iron bar. "No, no. I think I shall sit a bit more. You may all go on without me. I will be fine, really." Her pleading eyes bespoke a different message to Anne.

"I will stay with you," the older sister volunteered.

"You haven't seen the view, yet," interposed Benwick.

"Yes, Anne. Go on and take it in. I will stay with Mary." Charles whispered some tender question to his wife who responded with a slight affirmative. "You three go on. We will meet up with you outside," he told his sisters and Frederik.

The Captain led Anne onto the balcony. The wind was exhilarating. "You will not faint, will you?" he asked in her ear. His proximity to her startled the woman, yet she knew that the wind was so strong it was either that or he must raise his voice into that gale force around them. She turned and spoke loudly into the wind. "I think it is breathtaking!" The seascape was patched with land in places, but the water beyond went on endlessly. She grasped the rail and looked down. The experience gave her head a dizzying sensation, but she looked to the sea again and smiled.

"Have you ever been…"

"What?" she asked. The wind was whisking his voice away before she could understand his words. She turned to look at his mouth as he spoke again. She shook her head; she could not understand. Benwick gestured to her to go back into the shelter of the structure. She followed him in.

"I said, 'Have you even been on a cruise-ship?'"

"No, never."

"I think you would enjoy it." He was smiling at her in a very strange way. It occurred to the woman that his manner hinted at his becoming truly besotted with her. She did not know how she should feel about it but quickly moved toward the service room to check on Mary. Her sister was still the same, but Charles was kneeling next to her now. He motioned to the two of them to continue down the stairs but not before another group of strangers passed between them, heading for the lantern.

As Anne began the narrow descent with Benwick behind her, she heard Mary say to Charles, "And there goes Anne, now. I do want to try to make it." A third of the way down, Anne could see Louisa and Frederik. Henrietta was walking ahead, but Louisa was in Frederik's arms as he jumped her down to the next landing. She walked on, her hand outstretched to touch his shoulder as they continued to the next flight of stairs.

As Benwick and she came to the landing, Anne felt tired and took a bench under a window. The sight of Frederik and Louisa, she told herself, truly did not trouble her; but she felt annoyed for having to remind herself of its inconsequence.

Benwick sat down with a sigh. "It's a bit of a challenge, isn't it? Too many stairs. We should have taken the elevator." The woman beside him laughed, and he caught her eye.

"The wind and exercise do you good, you know. Your face is flushed."

"Is it?" she asked as he reached out to touch her cheek. In that instant, she knew; he was going to attempt some gesture of affection if she did not move. She put her hands on her cheeks and got up from the bench. She gripped the rail and started the descent to the next level.

"Where are you going?" Benwick asked. His voice sounded intrigued, which concerned her. She did not wish to give him a false impression of her interest in him. For, though she felt very fond of him in so short an acquaintance, she knew she did not love him in such a way as his actions fervently displayed. She doubted she would feel such a regard for anyone again.

Passing down the steps, Anne came to her decision. It would do no good to allow him to behave foolishly if she did not feel the same. Yet something made her question her resolve. What if this chance meeting with James Benwick had happened for a purpose? Was her heart too closed to see it? She ached for companionship, and she certainly felt some affection for the man. If she allowed it of herself, could that fondness develop into a deeper regard? He was catching up to her.

"Anne, wait! I want to talk to you."

She considered going on but stopped herself, realizing that it was not the time to run away. She must face this situation; she must face this young man in all sincerity. She would be honest with her feelings, listen to him openly, and see what would come of it. She had stopped in mid-flight two levels from the ground and was holding the railing overlooking the center of the structure.

"Louisa, what are you doing?" From below, Frederik's voice spoke with a tinge of alarm.

She looked over the iron rail as Louisa's figure, running back up the steps, came into view below. "Oh, sister… Please!" cried out Henrietta. Anne could see Frederik, as he walked towards the center at the base of the lighthouse. Louisa was quickly climbing over the rail, some seven or eight feet from the ground.

"What is happening?" asked Benwick, reaching Anne's side.

"Louisa, the jump is too steep," Frederik warned. He moved toward her in a way that professed he did not think she would do it.

"Please don't, Louisa," Henrietta entreated her.

"I shall. Now catch me!" stated the determined woman.

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A/N: Yeah, me and my wicked cliffhangers.

Ana-Misa: Ha! It didn't even occur to me that the scarf would have any part in her farewell. Interesting idea! No, she wasn't saying goodbye to Frederik, but the Erik of the past. I'm writing about New York right now. (grin)

Momotaru: Whoo hoo! I'm so excited you are hooked on my story. Thank you!! I sincerely hope that I will be able to finish it and keep up its angst-y momentum for you.

followthestory: What you feel about Erik vs. Frederik is exactly how Anne feels. Frederik is too distant, even Benwick comments on this in ch. 37. Anne knows she doesn't have a right to know Frederik's thoughts. She would be hurting Louisa if she brought it up. So, thank you; your excellent review has convinced me that I have to keep writing so you will know all.

Lady Susan: I feel so honored, because I adore your Childhood Impressions fic. Thanks!