Dark Days
"Feels like I'm falling, into the world
Into the world
I can't control it
I hear it calling
Down in my soul
Gripping my bones
It won't let go
Wake me up
Won't you wake me up?
Caught in a bad dream"
Song: Bad Dreams – Ruelle
Days blurred into a constant darkness, Hermione had succumbed to the dark talons, and she did not function at all.
For the first time in a decade she didn't need to be in a constant state of alertness, and it seemed her body didn't know how to handle not being alert; it went into some form of shock.
She would stay in bed, eat only when Narcissa prodded her, even stopped reading the little she had, she had convinced Narcissa to install a society screen in her room though.
She would watch Draco on it.
He had been declared victor, and therefore he was on the screen daily, interviews and parades, but she saw what they were doing; the glamour charms couldn't hide the torture he was being inflicted with.
Narcissa had told her that the moment his name had been called out, they knew their time was up, because Voldemort had not entered his name; so it was obvious the Malfoy's were involved in something.
And so after Draco had been chartered off to the Capitol, the Death Eaters had come, and the Malfoy's had been leading them a merry chase around Europe for weeks while the games were on.
They couldn't come to Malfoy Manor immediately, for obvious reasons, but after two weeks of being on the run, they had successfully lost their tail, and could come and hide with Minerva and Kingsley at the Manor in peace; and finally arrange with their inner circle spies to have Draco and Hermione's magic unwarded in the games.
But that all meant that Draco was receiving double punishment, for the betrayal of his family, and his own involvement with the loss of Hermione; it seemed Voldemort were really seriously pissed with her escape according to their remaining spies.
And so Hermione stayed in her darkened room, refusing to see anyone except the Malfoy's, barely eating and when she slept; plagued by nightmares as she had never been before.
And when Draco was splashed on the screen, she would sit upright and watch till it was over and once more slump down and just stare emptily ahead of her.
"Darling... Tomorrow is the order meeting..."
Narcissa was sitting next to her, she had prodded her to eat some dinner, but Hermione had other thoughts on her mind; she has come to a realisation, she finally admitted what was wrong with her.
"Mrs Malfoy... It hurts..."
She wanted to confide in the blonde witch, but she had no idea how, she wanted to tell someone what she felt; but she had forgotten how to talk about feelings.
Narcissa looked intently at Hermione, she knew what she wanted to get off her chest; had been hoping that Hermione would get to this point finally.
So clasping Hermione's hand between hers she smiled warmly at her, encouragingly.
"My darling... Love always hurts if it's not fulfilled."
Hermione then closed her eyes in relief; she wouldn't have to explain, Narcissa knew, so she could just talk.
"I love him, I don't know how... I didn't even think I could love anymore."
Hermione knew tears had welled into her eyes, but she didn't give in to the crying, she had spent the last week crying and being weak, now she needed to figure out how to get Draco back.
"Hermione, everyone can love, and you; you are even more capable than others I know, you just needed the right wizard to come along. And if one person can love Draco, it would be you, and if a wizard could truly love the witch you are now; it would be my son. It's completely fitting."
Hermione searched her blue eyes, she saw only honesty, and finally she smiled, she could trust Narcissa, and she would.
Then she lay back and frowned as she thought on the predicament; she had something to live for now, a baby, a wizard.
As if sensing Hermione's thoughts, Narcissa spoke softly to her.
"You know darling, with this request of theirs; it would make you powerful. Just something to think on."
Then she stood and kissed Hermione's cheek, before leaving her once more to her own thoughts, and thoughts she were having; whirling and whirling.
Xxx
"Why doesn't she come out? Why can't we see her?"
Ron was not in the friendliest of moods, he was pacing in the drawing room; throwing angry glares at Lucius Malfoy as he went, somehow in his mind, the Malfoy's were at fault for his old friend not being what he remembered.
Pansy was sitting to the side, rolling her eyes at her husband; she just ignored him when his mood was like this.
"Ronald, we are only doing as Hermione requests, she prefers to stay by herself."
Narcissa sat down next to her husband as she spoke, it's been going like this a week, after introducing Pansy to Hermione officially; Hermione had withdrawn completely, and Narcissa's voice felt hoarse by now for explaining it over and over again to the Weasley's.
"Well that's not how I know Hermione! What could possibly be wrong with her for wanting to stay locked up?"
This time it was the firm voice of Lucius that spoke up.
"Tell me young Ronald, have you ever taken a life, seen their still vacant eyes every night you close your eyes to sleep? Have you been alone for a decade, surviving mostly by the kill of your own hands from the woods, blood on you, real blood? Have you through all of that, ever lost the only person that had been there; even in the vague role that my son was? Now; tell me again, what could possibly be wrong with Hermione?"
His voice was steady, but bitingly cold, and Ron flinched, and then sagged down next to his wife, who consolingly patted his leg.
"Ron, she will get better. For now, just respect her wishes, she needs to deal with what she is going through, there are natural processes you go through in order to learn to deal."
He closed his eyes in defeat and nodded wearily; as always he guessed he was missing something, but he would try to be patient with his old friend.
For he knew, she was still there, somewhere, but there.
Opening his eyes he smiled at his wife, then leaned in and kissed her on her forehead.
"As always, you speak sense love."
Pansy smiled at him and nodded in satisfaction, she knew how to handle Ronald Weasley, and she would help Hermione by keeping Ron in check.
