Hello everyone! Happy (early) 4th of July to my readers in the U.S.A. Are there any other holidays anywhere else around this time?
On a side note, tourists are kind of annoying. Especially when there are large events going on in your town and they all go to it.
We are one update away from 1000 and currently 17 reviews away from 500. The race is on! If you haven't reviewed before, please do so, I read them all and respond! And if you have any ideas, feel free to message them to me!
Thank you!
"Yo Billings! You got visitors!"
Ensign Fiona Billings looked up to find her three friends walking towards her. "What are you guys doing down here?"
"You were late for lunch," O'Shea explained. "So we brought lunch to you!" He pulled out a sandwich, apple, and what the replicators insisted was pretzels and dip.
"He brought you lunch, we just tagged along," West said.
"And we brought Rules!" Sorren added.
Billings smiled. "Well, as long as you don't get any crumbs in the equipment, I guess it's all right..." She looked up into the Jefferies tube she had dropped out of. "Hey Lt. Coutts, may I take a lunch break?"
"Your lunch is already here, isn't it?" Coutts replied. "Take fifteen, Billings, I'll finish up here."
"Thanks!" Billings said.
961. Please uninstall the old wooden sailing ship steering wheel from the navigation console.
962. *No giving Security personnel about to beam down the three fingered salute.
963. *No playing the funeral dirge and/or setting up funerals for the Security personnel before they actually die⦠especially not in front of them as the beam down.
964. Do not rock the boat (how you managed that has yet to be figured out).
965. Do not try any of Mr. Scott's green drink. You will regret it when you wake up hours later and with a lampshade on your head.
966. *Stop stuffing tribbles in the microwaves!
967. Do not call Chekov a "Cossack". He will punch you in the face if you do (we are not kidding about this).
968. *Stop asking Mr. Spock where he learned to dance and whether he will teach you. He will take that opportunity to nerve pinch you.
969. *Do not use the phrase "wibley-wobley-timey-whimey" around Mr. Spock when the ship hits a temporal anomaly.
970. *That four beat pattern known as the "Master's Drumbeat" stops now. It's creeping people out.
971. There are no such things as Daleks.
972a. *Please, giving Mr. Spock coffee is not advisable.
972b. *Same with Mr. Chekov. He gets nightmares from that stuff.
973. Helm and Navigation personnel are not allowed to show up for their shifts wearing a white jumpsuit and a white helmet. Not only is 'white' not a departmental color, we have been told it does not make it seem like you're driving the ship faster.
974. *There is no such place as Equestria.
975a. *You are not authorized to order Lt. Sulu to "set a course to White Castle".
975b. Or Burger King.
975c. Or McDonald's.
975d. Or Taco Bell.
975e. Or Galactix Eatery.
975f. Or Subway.
975g. Or any fast food joint.
976a. *"Naked Time" is not an acceptable response to the question "What time is it?"
976b. *Nor is "Party O'Clock" or "Hammertime" or "Adventure Time".
977. *None of your duties are "best performed in the nude".
978. *When messaging each other, sending holo-letter, even in conversation please stop referring to Starfleet Command and the Federation of Planets as the "Alliance". You know they hate being compared to totalitarian regimes (even fictional ones).
979a.*"But it was inwented in Russia!" is not a valid excuse for playing the theremin in your quarters at 0300 hours (you know who you are!).
979b. *Mr. Chekov has already complained to Security and he claims that next time, he's going to Mr. Spock.
980a. *Just because it's Summer on Earth's Northern Hemisphere doesn't mean you can wear shorts on duty.
980b. Same for when it's Summer in the Southern Hemisphere.
"You know, I think this ship spends way too much time in the 20th-early21st centuries," Sorren said.
The other three flipped through the Rules for a few moments before coming to the same conclusion.
Okay, Rules #962-963 are from trueromantic33, #966 is by Darkwood Princess, #968 is courtesy of SetPhasers2Stun, Bookdragon01 suggested #969, #970 is from twindaughterofArtemis, #972a-972b are by Vulcanblood, Katgeek came up with #974, TehWolfyBlake thought up #975a 976a-976b and 977, #978 is by Jedi Ani Unduli, #979a-b are from Miss Taggart Transcontinental, and #980a-b are from remi-it's-a-girl's-name. If you have suggested Rules in the past and since changed your pen-name, please tell me so I can keep track. Thank you!
