A/N: Consider this proof of life from a very apologetic writer. Life keeps getting in the way and being a college senior with a Departmental Honors Project is more than a little time-consuming. I'm still here though, and I have no plans to abandon my fics—I enjoy this fandom too much to do that. There will be updates, guys, even if it takes a long, long time to put them up. Maybe Santa will give me some inspiration for Christmas.

Anyway, this one takes place immediately after "Every Dog Has His Day" and I know Starfire's past didn't happen exactly like I present it here. I tweaked some things. My writing's a bit rusty so bear with me—I've been away from these characters for so long that it took forever for me get back into them (yes, I do nothing TT-related for a good six or seven months, and then I write something from the vantage point of the character I have the most difficulty writing. That makes sense). As always, reviews are very much appreciated.

Disclaimer: No changes here. I still own nothing.

100. Lessons

Though she had lived there for several months now, Starfire was still very confused by Earth. The planet itself was simple enough—the amount of water to be found and oxygen levels in the atmosphere were average to all life-sustaining planets, the temperatures were endurable in most places, and though the fauna and foliage were different on Tamaran, she believed that both planets had an equal quantity of plants and animals—but she often found the inhabitants to be truly baffling. How could any people live in such a way that they often upheld ideals and morals that they themselves did not demonstrate? Children were taught that their inner beauty was of far more worth than their physical features, yet she knew that many humans used surgical modifications to force their body to look more attractive or younger. World leaders extolled peace with and tolerance of other nations and cultures while attempting to fill their armies with more machines of war and destruction than could be possessed by any other countries. Earth's history was rife with terrible things happening to good people while other humans either cowered away or took part in the wrong-doing.

At the same time, Starfire was certain that Earth was home to one of the most honorable, persevering, and gracious races in the entire galaxy. Humans had many faults, but she also believed that the majority of the population was good at heart. Her friends were constant proof of this.

Of course, this did not mean that the Titans were incapable of confusing her. She sometimes had difficulty understanding their colloquialisms and habits, but these were things that most everyone was willing to help her learn and therefore were hardly bothersome. Instead, what confused Starfire the most about her friends was their tendency to take things of great importance for granted. Humans in general were aware of this failing in themselves—there were many books, movies, and speeches on this theme, and there were many wise sayings about the consequences of not cherishing what is held dear—yet the Titans seemed oblivious, especially during moments where they should find the lesson most obvious.

Starfire had thought this would change after the incident with Warp. Her friends had been most concerned, and they had seen then how easily the loss of one could cause the destruction of all. They had vowed to make sure that the terrifying future she witnessed never came to pass, that they would protect each other and themselves even more closely, and she believed that they would keep their promises.

Or at least, she would—if they would only give her reason to.

"What an afternoon," Robin commented, falling back on the couch and running a hand through his hair. "Alien abductions, talking dogs, outer-space rescues—this was not the way I expected to spend my day."

"You said it," Cyborg agreed. He cast a glance down the hall Beast Boy had disappeared down moments before. "At least the little dude's okay."

"Thank X'hal," Starfire added. She didn't bother to hide the relief in her voice.

Raven took a sip of her tea and shook her head. She pushed a blank report into Robin's hands and gave him a pen. "Let's just fill this out as quickly as possible. I don't want to think about today any longer than is necessary."

The Tamaranian could not help but feel a little surprised by her friend's statement. Raven was usually the wisest of people, and due to her empathic abilities, she was able to understand and analyze what most would simply miss. While the rest of the team seemed eager to put the day's events behind them, Starfire would have thought the Azarathian would be the first to recognize how important it was that Soto and his near-abduction of Beast Boy be discussed instead of buried away.

"I disagree, friend," Starfire spoke up tentatively. She did not like differing from the opinions of her teammates but she could not bear the idea of letting this go. "Instead of simply writing down the factual events, I believe there is much we should reflection upon and discuss."

Robin looked up from where he had already started writing. "Like what, Starfire?"

"We were not the friends we should have been today," she declared firmly. They had all been too hard on their changeling. It was certainly true that Beast Boy could be a most frustrating individual. With his pranks and constant joking manner, he was sometimes difficult to tolerate and even harder to understand. But he was also—and most importantly—a good person and a true friend. Somewhere in the progression they had made as teammates and friends, Starfire thought that fact had been forgotten, and as a result, their changeling had almost been stolen away. "This mistake cannot be made again. We must be more watchful."

"We didn't make a mistake," Raven replied. Starfire's eyes grew wide but the dark girl either didn't notice the Tamaranian's shock or chose not to acknowledge it. "What happened to Beast Boy was coincidental. He just happened to look like Soto's lost dog. We did nothing to put him in that position."

"Plus, I don't think Beast Boy would appreciate us watching his every move," Robin added. He, however, did take notice of their resident alien's incredulity and decided to comment. "What's wrong, Star?"

"Our friend was nearly lost today yet you and Raven seem…unconcerned," she explained hesitantly. When the pair exchanged a look, her frowned deepened. "This is a misunderstanding, yes?"

The Boy Wonder scratched the back of his neck. "It's not like we don't care about what happened, Starfire, but it's no one's fault that it did. Next time he goes out on his own, I'll insist that he take his communicator, but I think today was just a random event. I'm not sure anything could have been done to prevent it."

Starfire agreed that Beast Boy's abduction was accidental but she wasn't so certain that the situation had been unavoidable. The changeling had merely asked for their companionship today and had it been granted, then maybe Soto would not have mistaken the green Titan for his similarly colored dog. Instead of doing the hanging out with Beast Boy, however, they had given him angry words, and the alien princess shuddered to think that those might have been the last exchanges between the changeling and the rest of the team. She would not have been able to forgive herself if that had been the case, and it seemed strange to her that the others did not feel the same way. They were Beast Boy's friends as well. Did they not also feel it was their duty to protect and cherish him? Did they not realize how close they had all come to failing that duty?

"Hold up, y'all. Star's right," Cyborg said suddenly. He had been quiet for most of the conversation but then, he had seemed preoccupied with his own thoughts all evening. "Maybe we haven't been the greatest friends. I know he can be annoying, but I get the feeling that BB hasn't been able to do stuff with anyone his own age in a long, long time. Can't really blame him for wanting to hang out with us so much."

Robin frowned. "I can understand that, and I'm sure it's not easy being the youngest of us. But that doesn't mean we need to constantly entertain him. He's not a child, Cyborg, but he'll act like one if we treat him like one."

"I'm not saying we need to start patronizing Beast Boy. I just don't think we need to brush him off like we did today," Cyborg replied. "I mean, when we showed up to get him…did you notice how surprised he was? It was like he didn't think we'd come after him."

"But we did," Raven pointed out. She sounded annoyed, although Starfire wasn't sure if it was the implication that Beast Boy might have believed they would abandon him that bothered her or simply the conversation.

"But he didn't think we would," the half-metal teen countered. "There's something wrong with that, guys."

"Yes, there is. Beast Boy shouldn't have doubted us," Robin stated. Even though his words likely were not meant to point a finger at Beast Boy, Starfire felt a small stirring of anger at his declaration. "He should trust us."

"I am certain that Beast Boy has faith in us." The Tamaranian sounded only a little stiff but it alerted the others that she was agitated. "I just do not want that faith to be misplaced."

Raven put her tea cup down a bit harder than normal, which caused attention to be redirected to her. "This conversation is becoming pointless. This isn't a matter of trust. This is a matter of filling out a report and filing it away so we can get on with the rest of our evening."

Starfire eyed her teammate with intense disapproval. "I do not believe you understand the atmosphere of the situation."

"Star, that's not true. We care about Beast Boy just as much as you and Cyborg," Robin interjected. He smiled a little. "Raven's even admitted to thinking he's tolerable."

The latter comment was obviously made to ease some of the tension but Starfire found she did not appreciate such humor.

Neither did Cyborg. "I don't have a lot of friends, man. I can't afford to lose the ones I got."

"Nor can I," the Tamaranian added quietly. "And especially not to a life as another being's plaything. Have you not realized that this is what might have happened to Beast Boy?"

"Star, we never would have allowed that to happen—"

But Starfire shook her head. "There would have been little we could have done to stop it, had Soto left the planet before we invaded his ship," she said, knowing the others could hardly dispute this. She also doubted they would disagree with what she had to say next. "I have told you of the future where I was not present. I believe a world without Beast Boy would be equally unbearable."

Silence filled the room after that, and she looked at each of her teammates in turn. Cyborg seemed grow more pensive while Robin appeared suddenly conflicted, as if the thought of what would have happened to Beast Boy had their rescue been unsuccessful had not occurred to him. Perhaps it had not—the Boy Wonder was not one to think of the results of failure as he was rarely unable to accomplish what he set out to do. Raven's facial expression was blank which, while not unusual, was frustrating to the alien princess. She wanted to know what the Azarathian was thinking.

Starfire did not have to wait long to find out.

"You are missing the point," Raven said finally. It might have only been Starfire's imagination but she thought the dark girl's monotone seemed a little forced. "What might have happened isn't as important as what did. Yes, Beast Boy was kidnapped but we got him back with little to no damage to his person or the team."

The Tamaranian stood and began walking to the door. She did not know which she felt more keenly—anger or disappointment. "A point has been missed, Raven. But I do not believe it was the one you presented."

"Star?" Robin called after her, half-standing. "Where are you going?"

"To see Beast Boy," she replied shortly.


Beast Boy finished toweling his hair off in his room. He was wearing a pair of sweat pants and a simple white t-shirt. The clothes felt strange against him, as was usually the case when he wore anything except his normal purple-and-black outfit, but they didn't touch his neck, and that was all he cared about at the moment. After spending the entire afternoon wearing a shock collar, the idea of something tight around his throat, even something as familiar as the spandex of his uniform, was unpleasant.

Don't know what I'll do if we get a call, though, he thought, absently shaking the water out of his ear. I can't morph in this stuff without shredding it and the tabloids would be all over the idea of a nudist Titan—

His thoughts were interrupted by a hesitant knock. The changeling stared at his door for a second. The team rarely came looking for him—usually it was the other way around—and when they did, they weren't shy about banging. His surprise only grew when he opened the door and saw Starfire. Not that seeing his Tamaranian friend was odd in and of itself, but she usually seemed happy to see him whenever he appeared. At the moment, however, she seemed tense.

Although a little concerned, the changeling smiled brightly. "Hey, Star. 'Sup?"

"'Sup'?" she echoed in confusion. "Um, no, friend, I am not here to call you for dinner, although if you are hungry, I will gladly—"

Beast Boy chuckled, waving his hand to interrupt her. "No, Star, that was just slang. Like what's up, you know?"

She suddenly began to look nervous, which the changeling thought was weird. Starfire never seemed uncomfortable when talking to anyone, unless the conversation was with someone who made fun of her tendency to fumble with the English language. The team usually kept her away from those people, though.

"I…I am not sure how to start this conversation," she explained, fidgeting with her fingers. "Though it is very important to me that I have it with you."

"Uh, okay," Beast Boy replied slowly. This was getting stranger and stranger. Had he and Starfire ever even had a real conversation before? Sure, they'd talked to each other all the time but he could never remember it being about anything serious. She usually went to Robin for stuff like that but the green Titan wasn't going to put her on the spot by asking why she hadn't this time. "I'm all ears, Star."

If the colloquialism confused her, she didn't let it show. Instead her expression became a little more nervous. "I suppose the first thing I should ask of you is that you be completely honest with me. I do not mean to imply that you will not," she added quickly. "I have simply noticed that in regards to certain emotions, humans are not always inclined to speak truthfully."

The changeling sat on the small part of his lower bunk not covered in dirty clothes and old pizza boxes. "Well, yeah, I guess you're right about that. Alrighty, I promise that I'll be completely honest about whatever you ask me."

Starfire actually shuffled her feet, causing Beast Boy's confusion to grow. "I would like to ask: are you well?"

He cocked his head. Was that all? She'd made it seem like it was some big, important question. "Yeah, Star, I'm fine."

The Tamaranian did not look satisfied by this answer. "Perhaps I should rephrase," she said. "I meant, are you well in reference to the events that took place today?"

His unease quickly returned. He hadn't expected her to ask that, although given the day they'd had, it seemed like an obvious question. Still, the truth was that he wasn't sure how he felt about Soto's attempted abduction. He hadn't had time to work through the events in his head yet but he already doubted he was going to suffer any lasting trauma. There might be a few nightmares, and he was going to be a little wary of going out on his own for a while but that would probably be all.

"I don't know, Star. I guess I am. He didn't really hurt me, and you guys rescued me but thinking about what would have happened if you hadn't gotten there in time is kind of freaky," the changeling shrugged. Starfire didn't have an immediate answer and Beast Boy examined her closely. He'd seen her like this only a few times before, during the whole Red X fiasco and then again when Robin had been forced into working with Slade. "Are you okay?"

The Tamaranian hesitated and then shook her head. "No. I am not. I fear this afternoon has unsettled me."

"Oh," Beast Boy replied because he wasn't sure what else to say. He could already feel an awkward silence settling in the room, though, and as one who never enjoyed such silences, he did the first thing that came to mind. He shoved the pile of clothes off the end of his lower bunk and patted the cleared space. "So, uh, you wanna talk about it?"

Starfire took a seat next to him and released a heavy but silent sigh. "I do not know about Soto's people but the collar he placed on your neck reminds me of things I do not enjoy thinking of," the alien princess began quietly. She glanced at Beast Boy. "Do you remember the day of our first meeting? When the Gordanians attacked this planet?"

"How could I forget?" the changeling grinned but his smile quickly faded when he noted the sudden sadness in the girl's expression. "Why do you ask?"

"The Gordanians place similar trinkets around the necks of those they capture. They also use electric impulses to force their captives into submission," the Tamaranian answered, hugging herself as if she were cold. "They perform experiments, and they do so without remorse, though many of their victims are often physically altered due to their torturous actions."

"Physically altered?"

Starfire nodded tightly. "Mutilated is perhaps a better choice of word. The worst known case of such atrocities was seven years ago, when the Gordanians needed specimens strong enough to withstand a dangerous, untested drug meant to enhance their military forces. The people of a nearby planet were known for their abilities to survive extreme physical duress, prompting the Gordanians to demand that the children of the royal house be delivered to them. An invasion was threatened if these requirements were not met."

Her expression was still troubled but her voice was oddly devoid of emotion. Beast Boy couldn't remember ever hearing her like that before. It was unnerving. "What happened?"

"The people were repulsed by such demands but the King was fearful of a full-scale assault upon his planet. He chose to give over his children instead. The experiments administered proved quite successful as the young ones soon developed odd…abilities. The King was deposed and exiled shortly after the agreement. He has not been heard from for many years, and it is widely believed that he captured by the Gordanians and then executed."

"Dude, that's…that's horrible!" Beast Boy exclaimed, though he was referring more to what happened to the children rather than to their father. He didn't know how to feel about the king. What kind of guy allowed his kids to be used as diplomatic pawns? Even Mento, despite all his failings as a parent, would never be that cold. "But the kids were saved, right? Someone rescued them?"

"There were many attempts to do so but no venture was successful. The eldest child eventually grew strong enough to escape, and she did so with her siblings. They returned home but the results of the experimentations could not be reversed so the children were left with enhanced fighting capabilities that made them quite powerful. The council eventually realized that the children could be a great asset to their planet's defense so they forced them to train with the most elite of warriors," Starfire explained quietly. She glanced at Beast Boy before staring down at the floor. "They were not allowed to be children again from that day forward. They accepted this but the security of a planet was a…difficult responsibility to be placed on such young shoulders."

"What happened to the kids after that?" Beast Boy asked.

"The council decided the oldest child should rule the throne, once she came of age. The youngest, a boy, was to learn to lead the army."

"What about the other one?"

The Tamaranian sighed. "The middle child was taught to both rule and fight, in case one of her siblings was killed or proved incompetent. The latter was a more likely occurrence as her older sister had…a habit of rebelling against authority figures such as the council," she continued, and Beast Boy noticed that a steely look replaced the sad one in Starfire's eyes whenever she mentioned the council. "Then one day, a group of rouge Gordanians attacked again, destroying a village of innocents just outside the capital city. The council did not order the army to retaliate for fear that it would incur the wrath of the entire Gordanian Empire, but she—the middle child—could not bear the idea of such cowards escaping. She gave chase."

Beast Boy watched her for a moment before staring at the floor as well, unsure of what to do. He knew a thing or two about being a kid with a job that most adults couldn't handle. He'd been a little over eight when he'd joined the Doom Patrol, after all. Still, he couldn't imagine being in the position of the kids in Starfire's story. The idea of a group of children being charged with the protection of an entire planet—that was just unreal.

But it was real, Beast Boy decided with another look at Starfire, or his friend would not have looked so sad. The changeling had never considered himself to be the brightest crayon in the box but he had a feeling he knew who one of those captured children had been.

"She had to be a really brave kid to have gone after the people who hurt her so badly. I bet her people are really proud," Beast Boy said finally. He threw a companionable arm around his friend's shoulders. "But you know something? I bet her friends are even prouder just to know her."

Some of the sadness relaxed out of Starfire's face. She ventured a tiny, watery smile. "I hope that is true."

"Trust me, dude, it is." Beast Boy returned her smile and gave her another squeeze before letting go and standing. He motioned toward his door. "Enough sad stuff, though. C'mon—it's about dinner time, and I bet if you ask him, Rob'll let us have a movie night instead of evening training."

Starfire got up as well but caught his arm. "Wait, friend. I want you to know why I told you the story." She looked down at the floor again but this time instead of sad, her gaze was full of guilt. "Today, I feared that you would also become another being's captive. You did not and I am glad—but I am also sorry."

"Sorry?" Beast Boy repeated, cocking his head in confusion. "Why?"

"I spoke unkindly to you this afternoon, and then I was not there to aid you."

The changeling blinked at her before laughing. "No way, Star! It totally wasn't your fault! How were you guys supposed to know some alien dude was going to lose his talking green dog and accidentally pick me up instead?"

Starfire shook her head. "Be that as it may, it does not excuse my behavior prior to your capture."

He waved her off. "Ah, I don't blame you guys for getting annoyed. I know I can be pretty needy sometimes. Too much of the time, probably," Beast Boy said with a grin but Starfire did not return it.

"You are our friend, Beast Boy, and in my experience, friends are often in need of each other. There is no shame in that. There is only sorrow when that is forgotten."

She was looking sad again. He didn't want that. "Yeah, maybe. But see, we Titans don't have to worry about that, Star, because we have you around to make sure we don't forget it. And c'mon, you have to admit—I shouldn't bug the team to do stuff with me all the time, right?" Beast Boy paused for a moment, with an expression of exaggerated thoughtfulness. "Except Raven. She needs to be bugged."

Starfire finally smiled before pulling Beast Boy into an abrupt hug.

"You are a strange person, friend," Starfire told him as she gave him a tight squeeze. "But I am very glad to have met you."

"Ditto, Star." Beast Boy meant it but when his agreement made the Tamaranian hug him all the closer, he had to swallow a choking noise. "But, um…could you let go?"

She did with a sheepish giggle, and he decided to refrain from rubbing his ribs in case it put that sad look back on her face. The pair then left Beast Boy's room. The changeling had been right when he'd said it was close to dinner time. He was right again when Robin allowed the team to skip evening training in favor of spending a few hours watching movies together.


Dumping Silkie's food into his dish, Starfire had to admit that an evening spent in the company of her teammates had greatly relieved her fears that the team had not taken Beast Boy's abduction seriously. After promising to show the green Titan how some of the more complicated tools in the garage worked, Cyborg had both cooked Beast Boy's tofu dinner for him and allowed to changeling to choose which movies they would watch. Then, before retiring to bed, Robin had come forward and apologized for not only brushing the changeling off but also for taking so long to help him.

"It's the second time this team has taken friendship for granted, and that's two times too many, especially when we should all be aware of just how alone we would be without each other," Robin said. "Believe me, Beast Boy—it's not going to happen again. I'm sorry it did at all."

The changeling looked momentarily shocked—he could hardly be blamed since it was not often that the Boy Wonder apologized to anyone—before breaking into a grin. "Guys, seriously, don't worry about it. It's nobody's fault," he said. "But, hey, I'm sorry for being such a pain earlier. I'll work on it, okay?"

They had all parted with smiles and good feelings—except for Raven, who had been quiet all evening. This was hardly unusual as the empath had never been a talkative person but Starfire believed that tonight, there was an increased distance in her friend's silence. Raven had been almost cold in her detachment to the team and though the Tamaranian had hoped her friend would also make some gesture of reconciliation toward Beast Boy, this had not come to pass. Starfire tried not to feel too disappointed—after all, Raven might have been raised by Azarathian monks but she was far more human than she allowed herself to believe, and humans were often guilty of not understanding a person's importance until they were lost. Beast Boy did not seem to notice, at least.

"Or perhaps he simply did not expect a display of camaraderie and appreciation from Raven," Starfire sighed, scratching Silkie beneath his chin. The larva warbled appreciatively. "What do you think, my little bumgorf?"

"Probably what I think," a gravely voice chimed in. The Tamaranian glanced back to see Raven standing in the kitchen doorway. "That Beast Boy didn't expect it."

Starfire stood with a guilty expression. "Forgive me, friend. I did not realize you were there."

Raven nodded but didn't comment. Instead, she addressed another concern. "You know I find Beast Boy difficult to understand, Starfire. Most of the time, he irritates me more than anything else," she said slowly, as if unsure of how to begin her explanation. Still, Starfire preferred uncertainty to defensiveness.

"Perhaps. But he is also your friend."

"I was just trying to be practical."

There was a little disappointment in Starfire's expression as she gave Silkie a final tickle and stepped around the other girl. "If that is what you say, then I shall believe you."

"Starfire," Raven called, causing the alien princess to turn back to her. "I would care, you know. If something happened to him."

The dark girl's expression was hidden by her cloak but even without seeing her friend's face, Starfire knew that such an admission had been difficult for Raven. With that thought in mind, the Tamaranian allowed a smile to grace her face.

"I am glad to know that, Raven," she said and resisted the urge to wrap the other girl in a hug. She settled on giving her an affectionate pat on the hand. "And maybe someday, you will let Beast Boy know as well?"

"You think he doesn't?"

"You make it difficult to tell for certain, friend," Starfire explained gently. "But I do believe he knows. Would it be so terrible, though, to tell him this?"

"I told him he was funny once. Look how that's turned out," Raven grumbled before entering the kitchen, and Starfire figured the conversation was over but she continued to smile as she made her way to her room. Raven wasn't ready to fully admit her attachment to her friends, and perhaps it would be several years before she felt comfortable enough to do so.

This was fine, Starfire decided. She would be patient.

She had a feeling Beast Boy would be, too.