Chapter 49
"God, I love you so much." Hitomi said in a drowsy voice. Leifang's eyes widened in shock at what she just heard.
"Hitomi?" She could only get out, but Hitomi wasn't answering her as she felt her hand growing slack and saw that her eyes had closed once more. She was asleep again.
Had she really just heard her confess her love? Or was she imagining things?
Don't be stupid, of course you heard it! She berated herself. All she could do right now was looking down at the sleeping girl. The Chinese's mind was going blank and her heart was running danger of bursting out of her chest.
She couldn't believe it. She just couldn't. The girl who was her best friend, whom she was together for only a few months now, had just confessed her love to her.
Leifang placed her hands on her cheeks, feeling how hot they had grown, and shook her head. Never in her wildest dreams...
It was weird. It felt really good hearing these words, but at the same time she was simply terrified. Terrified of what she should say to her. She never was the target of a love confession before in her whole life.
Sure she had pined after Jann Lee for a long time but this, she looked down at Hitomi's sleeping face, this was different. Right in this moment it meant everything, their whole relationship.
So could she say that she was in love with Hitomi as well? She meant a lot to her, enough to give up on her old love and start a relationship with her. Did she even know what it really felt like to be in love?
What if she had just imagined herself to be in love before?
God this was getting too confusing for her. She needed to think about all this. Maybe she should leave. But what would she tell Hitomi then?
Releasing a sigh she laid back down besides the German and pulled the covers over both of them. She watched Hitomi sleep for a while, brushing the back of her hand against the other's cheek, trying to sort things out, until she fell asleep.
On the next day Hitomi didn't say anything unusual to her, acting as if everything was like normal when she had left to go to the university. So she had been mostly asleep when she confessed. In a way Leifang was relieved, because it would give her time to think of her own feelings on the matter.
She took a deep breath of the fresh air, and already felt that her mind was much clearer now that the bomb, that was dropped on her, wasn't freshly detonated anymore.
In a way it suddenly made sense. She had noticed that Hitomi had started wanting to be much more closer than before. It all had started after their first date. And of course Leifang didn't mind at all.
But could she say that she really, truly loved her back?
Attracted? Hell yeah she was. But Love?
She was sure that eventually she would come to love her, and in a way she already did. She was her best friend, the person she could always confide in.
Biting down on her thumbnail she thought it over once more, but came to no conclusion.
But she would. That, she swore to herself. She didn't go through all this drama until today only to come back empty handed.
With a look of determination she continued on her way.
A beautiful tune rang through the room as her fingers flew across the keys. Her eyes were closed as she played the melody from pure memory alone. It had a melancholic sound to it, but was one of the first that she learned years ago.
She could hear the other instruments, violins, a flute and a cello, accompany her, making the whole thing feel strange as she was only used to it being played on the piano.
But it gave a new quality to the song, made it feel more alive and resonate deep within her, something that she hadn't experienced during her lone lessons.
It felt nice.
Images from way back when she was still a little girl flooded her mind, how she had first practiced the instrument, how her fingers had hurt for days, but she refused to stop until she did it right.
But like so many things in a young girl's life it was only a fleeting thing and was replaced years later by her interest in Martial Arts.
She never did lose interest in it completely though.
As it came to an end she let out a deep breath that she didn't knew she was holding and her fingers touched the last few keys before resting them calmly on them.
A clap echoed through the room.
"Very good." A heavily accented voice said. "That'll be all for today."
Leifang remained seated in front of the piano and listened as everyone gathered their things and left the room one after another.
"Something on your mind?" Leifang looked up to see Professor Neuhaus approaching her.
"No." she said, then looked down to her hands. "Actually, yes. How did you know?"
"The way you were playing?" Leifang gave him a strange look. "No actually not. But in my age you notice a few things here and there."
Rudolf Neuhaus was a man in his late fifties. His hair, while still brown, was going bald at the temples and his clean shaven face was marred by deep wrinkles that stood witness to a person that had seen a lot during his life.
He was an ethnic German repatriate hailing from Russia and more often than not lightened up the class by telling them a few stories of his time in the army during Soviet Russia.
Though from his looks she could tell that not all had been fun and games.
"So what's on your mind?" he asked her.
Leifang considered what she should tell him. She was basically grasping at straws here, so she asked hesitantly. "Have you ever been in love?" then caught herself as she realized something. "Stupid, of course you have."
Leifang pointed to the wedding band on his ring finger. He just chuckled good-naturedly.
"Yes. It seems I have. But what does that have to do with your problem?" he asked her.
"Well you see, I'm in a relationship and recently the person I'm together with confessed their love for me. But," she ran her hand across the piano. "But we're not together for that long, so I don't know how I should react."
"What did you say to them?"
"Nothing. It was kind of an accident anyway. Spoken while half-asleep."
"Hmm." he rubbed his chin in thought. "Well it's kind of hard to put myself into your situation here. So you are trying to figure out what you really feel, is that it?"
"I-" She stopped herself, then got up from her seat and grabbed her handbag. "It was stupid of me to ask you. I'm sorry."
As she was heading for the door the professor called out to her, making her stop and turn around.
"Back when I first met my wife I had no idea that I would one day marry her. I actually wasn't even interested until much later, especially since she blew me off that day. 'Do you dance?' I asked and she just said 'No I'm sitting.'." Rudolf told her. "But eventually we got around to dating and then, one day, I fell in love with her. I wasn't sure at first, that happens sometimes, so I took to trying to see her in a different light and then from one moment to the other I was sure."
He sighed and smiled affectionally as he recalled the memory. "And the very next day I asked her to marry me. I promised her that we'd have a house of our own and two kids. Well and here I am. Managed to keep all my promises too."
He turned turned to look at her, meeting her eyes directly. "So why don't you try viewing that person in a different light too? It might just help you."
Viewing her differently Leifang thought about what he said carefully. Could it really help her to figure out just how much the other girl mattered to her?
It sounded better than anything else right now.
"Thank you, Professor." She said and gave him a grateful smile. The man just waved it off as if it was nothing.
"It was nothing. Now, why don't you sit down and play again? I have something I'd like you to try."
She gave him a small shrug. "Sure." she said and walked back over, sitting down in front of the piano. The professor placed a music sheet above the piano keys.
Reading over it for a moment she placed her hands on the keys and started playing.
Sorry, this one's a little shorter than usual, but don't worry I'll make it up to you with something nice next week.
And never forget: In Soviet Russia music play you!
See you next week.
