It was silent, and dark, and so cold he couldn't breathe. His body wracked with shudders, and he felt nothing. It was as if he were simply floating, and though his eyes were open, he saw nothing but darkness. He knew what was happening. Everything he'd ever wished for was finally coming true.

He was dying.

He realized it, and a lump formed in his throat. He didn't want to think about it, didn't want to admit that he was truly afraid of what lay ahead.

Dumbledore trusted him, and that meant a lot, but there was still that off chance that something could go wrong. And then, he would never know.

He would never know about him, and never know how badly he wanted to say something for all those years, but couldn't. It would have meant their lives, and would have brought about what would surely have been trouble. But he was not the cold-hearted bastard everyone thought he was, and only two people in the world knew that- Evie and… and her.

He would never see her again, and that sent a shot of dread into him. He could always hide it so well, when underneath it was strong and so longing. He had pushed it aside, so she would believe she meant nothing, when it wasn't true. There were times he'd wrestled with the decision to contact her, then realized what he was doing, and he'd pushed it all aside, down deep, where all the other emotions went.

Because he was not weak.

Years and years of self-conditioning had guaranteed that. He'd made himself immune to penetration, and no one, not even Evie, could get through if he didn't want them to.

The darkness was suddenly so thick it overpowered him, settled on him like a weight, and he could taste it, feel it, breathe it into his nostrils until it closed off his lungs, and he found himself struggling against the pull to give in. He was nervous. No, he was afraid. He didn't want to die. Even as the darkness grew, even as the invisible hand reached into his chest and squeezed his breath from him, he fought. He fought like mad, but nothing could stop the cold that began to creep from his chest into his extremities, paralyzing him against any defense. He panicked as his mind began to stop its pondering, because his mind never stopped working, not ever, and it was the most alien sensation he'd ever felt. It was as if... as if...

He sucked in a sharp breath, and opened his eyes.

There was nothing but darkness. Nothing had changed at all.

But his feet suddenly had sensation, and he realized he was standing on a hard, cold floor. He blinked, and found that he could see his body, naked as he stood in the center of the darkness. He lifted his head, and before him, seemingly miles and miles away, was a light.

He blinked, and took a step towards it, starting the journey to its warmth.


Remus Lupin had collapsed on the steps of the study, easing Harry to the floor beside him. Quinn was near, smacking Harry's cheeks and shouting for him to wake up. Hagrid's face was worried. "Pomfrey… Evie says to bring Poppy Pomfrey here immediately…"

Arthur came to his side. "It's already been done. Charlie left right after I got here."

"Hagrid," Lupin breathed, "Evie… she wants you to go back and tell the Aurors from the Ministry that… that Grawp alerted you about the Death Eaters, and to see that they're informed that he is responsible for their arrests… But.. but he's there, Voldemort is there…"

Arthur frowned. "I'll have to go immediately." He moved to the center of the room.

Hagrid gave a nod. "I s'pose she don't want them knowin' 'bout the lot of you being there…"

"No," McGonagall said, stepping near. "We should go back to where we were before being contacted. That way, nothing looks suspicious."

Arthur pointed at her. "Exactly. I can go back with some excuse- I'll say Hagrid Apparated to our Christmas party with the bad news. I'll send owls to you as soon as I arrive, and that way, you can all join in."

"What about Kingsley?" Tonks was next to the large man, his eyes clamped shut in pain.

They fell silent, when a quiet voice came from the doorway. "What hit him? Does anyone know?" Neville Longbottom stepped in, his face filled with anxiety.

Moody studied Kingsley. "Don't know. The armor absorbed most of it… Don't reckon I can buy one of those off you, can I, Quinn?"

Quinn ignored him. "It was yellow. That's all I know, Neville."

McGonagall frowned. "Did you hear the incantation?" He shook his head.

Neville came to Kingsley's side and knelt, putting a hand on the man's shoulder. "What does it feel like? Where are you hurting?"

Kingsley shook his head. "Everywhere. It all hurts. But… there's this buzzing in my head, like a thousand bees… And my neck is tight, hard to move, almost like being stunned, but painful, like the muscles are twisting."

"It's..."

"I know," Neville said before McGonagall could finish. "I'll be right back."

Every eye fell on Neville Longbottom as he rose and darted to the foyer. Moody lifted an eyebrow, and Arthur let out a little chuckle, moving to the center of the study. "I'll come here before going to Hogwarts." He flashed away.

"Guess I should be goin', too- don't want Grawp takin' all the credit."

Lupin shook his head. "If Voldemort's still there, you could be in grave danger, Hagrid."

Hagrid lifted his chin. "I don't care. It's worse ta think of Grawp there, all alone." He Disapparated.

Harry was moaning in Quinn's arms, and Quinn let out a laugh, tousling his hair. "That's it. Come on, wake up."

Remus pulled himself to the twins, who were beside Sirius as Molly pulled away his armor. "Is he alright?"

Molly shot him a glance. "I'd be worried about yourself, Remus- you look weak."

He waved her off, grimacing at the pox-like welts that were traveling over Sirius's face. "Do you know what that is?"

Molly shook her head. "Ron and Ginny are in the library now, looking it up. Neville's never seen it, neither has anyone else. Where is Evie?"

Remus swallowed. "I… they were coming, they were right behind us."

She looked at Harry, who was sitting up and being greeted by McGonagall and Tonks. "What happened?"

"He was there, Molly. Voldemort. He was there, and you know what effect that has on him..."

Molly's face turned ashen, and her brow lowered. "Evie and Severus- they're still there? Are they still at Hogwarts?"

He opened his mouth to speak, but there was a sound behind them, and suddenly Evie was there on the floor, holding a cloaked figure to her chest, her head buried against it. Quinn was to her in a second. "Evie? Evie, what's wrong? What's wrong?"

She looked up, and he fell back. Her eyes were red and swollen, and her pale skin was flushed and tearstained. "WHERE IS SHE? WHERE'S POPPY? THERE'S NO TIME, QUINN, THERE'S NO TIME!"

And he saw it, the sword in Severus's chest, Evie's hand stabilizing it, her fingers dripping with blood. He fell back. "Evie, what… what happened?"

"WHERE IS SHE? I CAN'T DO IT ALONE, QUINN! CYRUS IS GONE, AND SHE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS HOW!"

Remus was on his feet, his heart flying; Porter, Moody and Kingsley were staring in shock; Molly Weasley was gasping for her breath, and Tonks had turned away, McGonagall holding her.

And Harry Potter felt the bottom drop out of his world.

Quinn was on his knees, studying the wound. "What… Evie, tell me what to do, I'll help you..."

"YOU CAN'T! YOU CAN'T! YOU DON'T KNOW HOW! I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO, HE MADE ME! POPPY WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HERE WHEN I DID IT! QUINN, THERE'S NO TIME! PLEASE FIND HER!"

Every eye was on her, and Quinn stood. "Evie, did… did you do this?"

"WHERE IS POPPY?" Her screams were maniacal now, and she put her hand on Severus's brow, a sob escaping her. "He's cold. Oh, God, he's cold…."

Quinn looked at Porter, and he moved to his side. They bent and tried to take him from her. "Let us take him upstairs, Evie. Poppy's coming, and you can get ready to..."

"DON'T TOUCH HIM!" A blast of light knocked them backwards, and Quinn looked at her in shock.

"Evie, what the...?"

There were two more people suddenly in the room, and Evie let out a pleading cry. "Poppy, please, please, we have to do it now, we have to save him, please, there's no time…"

Poppy's eyes fell on him, and she sank to her knees from Charlie's side. "Oh, Evelyn, what have you done?"

"He made me, he made me do it... I didn't want to, but he said I had to or it would be too late... POPPY, PLEASE!"

The woman felt his forehead much like Evie had done. "He's cold, Evelyn."

"I know, I tried to wait… he said it wouldn't work unless it was done before we came back… We have to hurry…"

Poppy was suddenly up and giving orders. "Quinn, you and Porter take him upstairs. Molly, I need you to find as many blankets as possible and bring them to us in Severus's room. Don't worry about Sirius, I can take care of him."

Evie still had Severus hugged to her chest even as Quinn and Porter tried to lift him. "No, no, I'm staying with him..."

Quinn placed his hand over hers, and his other traced her face. "Evie, Love, I know, but… you have to let him go."

She let out a blast of air, then released him. Porter and Quinn moved to the doors with him, light and easy between them under some charm. Evie stood, following them hurriedly.

Poppy looked at Kingsley. "Are you alright?"

He nodded. "I will be when Longbottom gets back with whatever it is he's brewing."

She moved to Sirius. "Oh, dear, I don't know what this is." She fingered the marks, and jerked her hands back.

"Is it hot?" Fred asked.

She shook her head. "It's cold." She turned to Remus. "How are you? You look awfully weak."

He nodded. "I'll be fine. You help Sirius."

She looked at the twins. "Move him to his room. I'll be up as soon as possible." Her voice was calm, but shaking. She darted after Evie and the men.

Arthur was suddenly back, and he jerked his head to the others. "We have to go now. The Ministry is sending Aurors as we speak." McGonagall moved to the center of the room, followed by Tonks. Kingsley was rising as Neville burst in.

"Drink this. Do it quick, though, it tastes worse than it smells."

He obeyed, and Neville saw the silence that had settled on the room. "What's wrong?"

Kingsley handed the empty bowl back to the boy. "Let's go." He rose, much steadier, and gave Neville a quick smile. "That's real talent, Neville. You're becoming quite the potions man."

Neville beamed, but looked to the others, who were trying to smile but had to force it.

"Something's happened," Neville said. "Something bad's happened, hasn't it?"

"Let's go, Alastor," Arthur said, just as confused. McGonagall gave him a look that said she would explain later. Moody joined them, hobbling next to Tonks, and they Disapparated.

The Weasley twins were hauling Sirius out, and Neville joined them. Lupin was rising to his feet and Harry rushed to him. "What's going on?"

Lupin shook his head. "I think you know about as much as I do, Harry." He winced. "But whatever it is, it's not good."


Sirius opened his eyes, and immediately started.

The Weasley twins were on each side, peering down at him with grins on their faces.

"See what happens when you try to be a hero?"

"Yeah, you should've stayed here with us. Mum's been on a rampage, saying how stupid it is for everyone to go running to Death Eaters instead of away from them."

"Like you, for example."

"Quinn's told us the whole story, about how you just up and saved his life like that."

"And this whole time, we thought you might like it better if he was out of the way."

Sirius grimaced. "Get away from me," he managed, despite the burn in his chest.

Poppy Pomfrey was suddenly shooing the boys away. "Out! Out! He doesn't need the two of you hounding him while he's recovering!" Fred and George were being shoved to the door, calling back to him.

"Don't worry, Sirius, we think you're a real hero!"

"Yeah! Sirius Black for Minister of Magic!"

The door slammed, and Sirius felt like he might vomit. Poppy was next to him, lifting a compress from his chest. "Well, it's better…" She stared at his face. "How's your eyesight?"

He swallowed, and blinked. It was back. That was a good thing, because never in his life had he felt so helpless, crawling around with Kingsley Shacklebolt while under attack...

He sat up, and gave a cry as he remembered what had put him in this position.

Poppy eased him back to the pillows. "None of that. You've only been back for a day. Not long enough to be circulating."

He winced as she shifted his pillows. "Harry, Evie, the others," he lay back, "are they...?"

Poppy Pomfrey stared at him for a moment, then went back to dressing his wound. "They're fine. Kingsley's a little weak, but he'll be good as gold. And so will you, if you'll listen to me."

He made a face, and shook his head as she offered him water. "So they made it back?"

She nodded, swallowing hard. "And Thomas has just told us that twenty-three of those Death Eaters were arrested. The Ministry showed up and hauled them off, but it seems they had to convince some giant to hand them over."

Sirius smiled, and it hurt like hell.

His door was open, and Harry ran to him. "Sirius?"

The man beamed. "Harry! I- OH!" Harry was on him, hugging him close. He laughed through the pain, and ruffled up the boy's hair. "Are you alright? Are you hurt?" Harry pulled back, and Sirius noticed that pain and gladness seemed to be fighting for position on the boy's face. "Harry, what is it? What's wrong?"

Remus Lupin poked his head in, and he entered, his steps a bit slow and his shoulders nowhere near as high as they'd been in the last months. "Remus?" Sirius looked between him and Harry, his frown growing.

Lupin sat on the edge of the bed, and finally looked at Sirius, his eyes lingering before he finally spoke. "It seems… there's been an accident," he said slowly.

Sirius felt all the red flags and the little alarms go off inside him, and shifted onto his elbows. "Where's Evie? Where is she, Remus?"

Lupin and Harry shared a look, and Harry's eyes went to the floor. "It's not Evie, Sirius," Lupin continued, "it's Severus."

Sirius looked at him. "What's happened? What's happened, Remus? Is he alright?"

Harry swallowed. "He… he was… it seems that… we took Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office, and… Snape had it. It seems that… Evie brought him back and…"

"Harry, please try to put a sentence together…"

"Severus… he's..."

Sirius looked at Lupin. "What are you trying to say?"

Lupin looked a bit shaky. "He… he's bad, Sirius… they don't know if..."

Sirius threw the sheets aside, trying to rise from the bed. Pomfrey, her eyes averted, tried to steer him back in but he pushed her away. "Where is Evie?"

"Sirius, I don't think this is a good time for her, you have no idea how she's been since it happened..."

"I need to see her, Remus. I need to see her now."

"Sirius, she won't even talk to Quinn, she's locked up in that room with Severus..."

Sirius was halfway to the door, his pants undone and his arm folded across his inflamed bare chest, the other arm supporting himself on anything he could find. Harry stood and grabbed a shirt from the back of a chair and ran to him, throwing it over his shoulders. "Come on, I'll help you."

Lupin rose and went to his side. "Take it easy, Sirius, take your time." But his heart was racing, and he knew that something had to be wrong, because it was impossible. There was no way that Severus Snape was...

And if he was, then Evie… God help poor Evie, because she'd go insane. He had to see her, had to let her know he was there, and to hell with what anyone had to say about it.


They made it to the east wing of the second floor, and in the loft sat Quinn, his hands balled up at his lips and staring into the fire blankly.

"Quinn."

He didn't look up, and seemed to not notice them, but finally Lupin walked over and put a hand on his shoulder. He jolted from his seat and glared at them for a second, then seemed to realize who they were. "You should be in bed, Sirius." He turned back to the fire.

Sirius shook his head. "I… Quinn, is she alright?"

"I don't know. She won't speak to me. She won't speak to anyone. She's… she's in there, with him."

Sirius's eyes went to the door down the hall. He blinked. "Quinn, there's a chance that I can… we go back, years and years, and… if I can get her to come out, or at least talk, maybe…"

Quinn looked at him for a long time, then gave a nod. "Please do. I don't know how else to find out what she needs."

Sirius nodded, and pulled his arm from Harry's shoulders. He walked to the door unsteadily, and stopped. He had no clue what to do, no idea of how to deal with any of it. He stared down the hall for a long time, thinking of anything he could to say, and it all seemed idiotic, unimportant, and just useless. He took a breath, and raised his hand to the door. He rapped his knuckles a few times, and waited.

Nothing.

He looked back at the others, who were staring expectantly. He leaned into the door, knocking again. Again, moments ticked by without a sound. He let out a breath and tried again, speaking against the wood. "Evie." He swallowed. "Evie, please open the door. It's me. It's Sirius. Evie, we just want to see if you're alright."

There was another long silence, and just before he turned away, the latch clicked. She opened the door and looked at him, and he felt his heart fall as he studied her. She seemed to have lost weight, and looked old and tired. Her eyes were swollen and wet, and her lips were bright red and pouted, her normally pale skin rosy and flushed, tear stains striping her face. Her expression looked remarkably like that of a little girl, and he could feel her pain and fear radiating. He let out a breath. "Oh, God, Evie."

"I know what you did." Her voice was a complete opposite from her appearance. It was calm and easy, and she sounded like she was totally under control.

Sirius frowned. "What?"

"I know you stood between him and the Death Eaters. Thank you."

He swallowed as he looked past her, and there, on the bed, lay the body of Severus Snape. He supressed a gag, the shock far too much for him to handle.

She lifted her chin. "I felt I should tell you how much I appreciate what you did. He would… he would want me to thank you."

Quinn had moved in behind Sirius. "Evie, Love, please. Come out of there. Or at least let one of us come in and sit with you."

She shook her head. "I'm sorry, you can't."

Sirius leaned against the doorframe. "Evie, please… we want to help you, and him. Let us come in and watch him while you rest. He's our friend, Evie, and we all care for him just as much as you do..."

She suddenly tightened, and her voice rang through the hall. "WHAT RIGHT DO YOU HAVE TO BE WITH HIM?" She let out a ragged breath. "WHAT RIGHT DO YOU HAVE TO SIT BY HIM AND WATCH HIM AND BE AT HIS SIDE, WHEN NO ONE EVER GAVE A DAMN UNTIL ALBUS DUMBLEDORE TOLD THEM TO?"

Harry and Lupin had come to the door, and Harry lowered his eyes.

"IT TOOK YOU SIXTEEN YEARS AND THE FACE OF DEATH TO MAKE YOU HIS FRIEND, SIRIUS! IT TOOK EVERY POTION I COULD BREW AND EVERY MEMORY I HAD TO MAKE HARRY REALIZE WHO SEVERUS REALLY WAS! AND NOW YOU WILL STAND THERE AND TRY TO CONVINCE ME TO LET YOU REVERENCE HIM, JUST BECAUSE OF YOUR GUILT AND YOUR SHAME? WHY SHOULD I LET YOU EXPRESS ANYTHING WHEN HE NEVER HAD THE CHANCE?"

Sirius stared at her, and shook his head. "Evie," he said softly.

She collected herself, and fought a few sobs that shook her shoulders. When she looked back to him, fresh tears were sliding down her cheeks. "You cannot understand how I feel right now. You cannot begin to feel what I feel. This guilt, and this loss... you could never understand. And whether it be wrong or right, I hold that against you. I will not let you free yourself from your guilt. Six months ago, you- all of you- wanted him dead. You would have loved to see him die. But now, now that you all see you were wrong, now that you see what he truly is, you want to repay him. Well, I won't let you." She stared at them firmly.

Sirius dropped his eyes, and shifted painfully. She looked at Quinn. "I don't want anyone disturbing us."

He nodded tightly. "Alright, Love, whatever you wish."

She swallowed, and her eyes went back to the others. "Leave me, please."

Poppy Pomfrey was standing in the loft, aside Molly Weasley and her children, Neville looking on beside them. All of them were forlorn, and Evie's outburst had undoubtedly brought them to attention. Poppy moved forward. "Evelyn, dear, let me come inside, at least. I'll give you something to help you relax."

Evie met her eyes, and after a few moments let her enter. The older woman looked back at them meaningfully and pushed the door closed. "We'll be fine."

Sirius was still, even as Lupin and Quinn moved away, and when he did turn, he saw that Harry was rooted to his spot, too, staring at the floor. Their eyes met, and Harry's looked a little glassy. "She's right."

Sirius nodded. "Yeah, she is."

"Is she going to be alright, Sirius?"

Sirius swallowed, and saw that Quinn was staring at him intently. He took a deep breath. "I don't think so, Harry."


Poppy Pomfrey stared at the other woman for a long time.

She was trembling, and her hands fumbled with the draught Poppy had given her, her shudders sending much of it over the rim and into the floor. She had managed to swallow only a third of it, and already it was taking effect. "Evelyn, dear, you should lie down. There's nothing more you can do here."

Evie glared at her. "I won't leave him."

Poppy went to her side. "You know it had to be done. It was the only way. You know that everything will be alright."

"What if it isn't? If he wasn't afraid that I would fail, he wouldn't have… he wouldn't have told me what he did. I know him. He would never have said what he did unless he thought he… unless he thought I would fail."

Poppy stroked her raven hair. "Evelyn, everything will be alright. Why do you do this to yourself, when you know that there is nothing to fear?"

The pale blue eyes met Pomfrey's, and they were large and childlike, tears falling from them in rivers. "He's scared," she whispered. "He was scared before he… before he went away, and he's… he's scared now. I feel it. I can feel it, so strong. And… I can't bear this thought, of knowing he's scared. He's never been frightened, not in his life, not of anything. He's strong, and he's brave, and… I can't stand knowing that he's afraid." Her features relaxed, and Poppy knew it was a matter of seconds before the potion rendered her unconscious. "…He shouldn't be alone, I have to be with him…"

Poppy took the cup from her and put her arm around her, guiding her to the door. Evie pulled away roughly. "No," she said, stumbling towards the bed, "I won't leave him."

Poppy watched as Evie crawled onto the sheets, and lay her head down on the man's chest. She curled up to him like a child would, and a sharp intake of breath erupted from her, moving her shoulders rhythmically as she cried.

And Poppy Pomfrey hoped, she prayed, that Albus Dumbledore had known what he was doing, for if he didn't, there would surely be another death in this house. Not from a sword, or a curse, or by another's hand. It would be solely from a broken heart.


Harry wandered the second floor, wanting so badly to speak with Evie but knowing that there was no way he could. Poppy Pomfrey had made it clear that everyone was to leave them in silence and peace, and had retired to Snape's bedroom shortly after the most solemn dinner Harry had ever seen. Even the twins had been quiet, the only ones who could be even remotely close to their usual selves.

Evie had still been in the room with Snape; Quinn had seen her, lying beside him and her back to the door. Quinn was distant, his worry seeming to overtake him, and Sirius had spent the hours after dinner taking potion after potion and finally collapsing into bed, asleep within seconds. Lupin was miles and miles away, not even able to acknowledge anyone's presence. Ron, Ginny, and Neville had been ordered to turn in by Molly, who was now fussing at Arthur about taking two young boys on such an excursion, and Charlie and the twins had retired early to escape their mother's wrath.

There was only one other person Harry could talk to.

He would have to speak with Albus Dumbledore.

He walked to the west wing, making his way to the curved room. His hands took the levers and pulled down, opening the doors. It was dark, and he spoke a lantern into life.

And he fell back as he saw what lay inside.

The perches were there, every one of them, still in the room in a perfect circle. But the phoenixes were gone.

There was no sign of them, none anywhere, not as much as a feather left behind. Harry took a few steps forward, desperately sweeping the room. He glanced up at the painting, and it was empty. He searched the others in the room, of gardens and lakes and streets of ancient cities, but there was no sign of Godric Gryffindor or Albus Dumbledore or anyone else. He darted into the hallway, searching the paintings for any sign of the long bearded man.

Something was wrong. Something had to be wrong.

He ran back to the east wing, his feet landing hard against the floor, and flung himself at Snape's door. "EVIE!" he screamed, his palm banging against the wood. "EVIE! THE PHOENIXES! THEY'RE GONE! ALL OF THEM!"

The door was suddenly flung open, and Madam Pomfrey glared down at him. "I believe I told you to leave us in peace, Harry."

"But the phoenixes are gone! And the painting, it's not there! No one's in it! He's gone!" Harry tried to push past her, and froze.

Severus Snape was staring at the ceiling, his eyes glazed with a grey sheen.

His eyes were open.

And Evie was standing beside the bed, in her hands something tiny, moving slightly as she stroked it. A small cry erupted from it, and as Harry looked closer, he saw it. It was a phoenix, tiny and struggling to pull itself upright. Evie held it on its back, and seemed to be tending to a wound in its middle.

It was Fawkes. Fawkes was there, and he was alive.

Harry struggled against Pomfrey's attempt to keep him out. "Tell me what's going on. Tell me what this is. You have to tell me!"

Evie hadn't turned to face him from the bird, and her voice was quite calm. "Out, Harry. Or I shall be forced to remove you myself."

Harry shook his head. "What is this? How is Fawkes alive? Is he alright? Evie, tell me what you're doing!"

He was suddenly against the far wall, and across the hall the door slammed shut.

He scrambled to his feet, and fled down the hall to the stairs. It was time to contact Hermione.


The next morning was icy and cold, the wind whipping snow about like white hayseed, the powder drifting into spirals that seemed to climb to the clouds. Lupin sat alone in the parlor, staring at the flames blankly. Sirius eased down next to him. "Moony."

He didn't look up, and Sirius raised his eyebrows. "So are you going to talk to me, or not?"

"Go away, Sirius."

"How did you know about her and that Robert fellow?"

Remus Lupin shook his head, closing his eyes. "I just… I just did. It was so plain to me, like a vision. And the nightmares…"

"Listen, about that, Remus, I think I should tell you something."

"Sirius, I don't want to talk about any of this right now."

"Well, you should."

"Severus is doing a bit better. Did you hear what Harry said? He said his eyes were open."

"You are horrible at changing the subject, because that's exactly who I was going to bring up. Severus knew what was causing the nightmares. They're related to Voldemort somehow. Quinn and Evie are having them, too. Did you see Quinn today, at Hogwarts? Did you see Moody? Arthur, too? It's working in all of us. He knows who we are, and how to get to us. It even affected you."

Remus looked at him. "No, that was all me."

"You couldn't help it, Remus, I know you, and that's the farthest thing from Moony."

The werewolf looked back at the fire, and Sirius followed his gaze. "You and Quinn, and Porter, I guess you won't be going back to the werewolves now."

"We can't just go waltzing back in after being seen there with the Order, can we?"

Sirius shifted. There was ice in his friend's voice, and he wanted to tread softly. "Are you alright? Harry said she put one hell of a stopper on those werewolves. It sounds dark, whatever it was."

He let out a breath. "I'm fine. She shielded me."

Sirius nodded. "That's a good thing. I'd hate to have seen you hurt." He swallowed. "It's probably a good thing that you can't go back. Those werewolves sound pretty ugly. Not at all the charming gentleman you are."

Lupin let a tiny grin stretch his lips.

Sirius bumped him with his shoulder. "Besides, after seeing what's happened to all the others around here, I'd think you'd want to stay far away."

Remus looked at Sirius and frowned. "What does that mean?"

Sirius shrugged. "Well, Miguel and Theodore, and then Beckett, dear God, let's not forget what happened to Beckett..."

"He betrayed his brothers, Sirius. He turned on them."

Sirius tilted his head. "Remus, his throat was slit. Now, I know Quinn was upset, and that maybe that's the way things work with your kind..."

"My kind?"

Sirius swallowed. "I'm just saying… the werewolves… you might all be a bit vulnerable, because of the way it's being presented to you, all this 'Voldemort's New World' idea, and..."

Remus suddenly rose to his feet. "Why is it that we are blamed for everything? Why is it that whenever something happens, it's my brothers who are pointed to like criminals?"

Sirius shook his head. "Remus, that's not what I'm saying."

"Yes it is. Or have you forgotten how open-minded you are? Do you remember what you did to me all those years ago? When you turned your back on me, because of her?"

Sirius straightened. "Remus, what...?"

"You pushed me away, turned everyone against me, told them I was selling information to Voldemort, just because Evie and I were in the kitchen together that morning."

Sirius stood. "Remus, what are you talking about? That was not why I…"

"Then it was because I was a werewolf? Easy to blame? Easy to believe corrupt?"

He shook his head. "Remus, stop this."

"No? Then maybe it was because Sirius Black's woman couldn't be seen showing any sort of emotion whatsoever to another man, even if it was his poor, pathetic werewolf friend."

"Stop it. You're not yourself right now, and it's taking you over. Just… relax and think of..."

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!"

Sirius felt the surge of anger, and he couldn't stop it. He felt raw rage rip through him, and he lost all grip on reality. All that mattered was Remus Lupin was challenging him, and he was wrong about everything. He was wrong. It hadn't been Sirius's fault that Remus was bitten all those years ago, and now, all he wanted was to make Sirius the bad guy.

he's like all the others

Sirius jolted. A voice was suddenly in his head, and it was oddly pressing.

he doesn't want you to be happy he was always jealous of you he wanted her you know he did he wanted to take her away

As shocking as it was, hearing that intrusion, Sirius felt himself giving in to it, and the anger came from his chest, up his throat and out of his lips.

"YOU ARE PATHETIC! LOOK AT YOU! YOU WILL STAND THERE AND LIE ABOUT EVERYTHING! DON'T ACT LIKE YOU WERE JUST LOOKING FOR FRIENDSHIP, BECAUSE I SAW THE WAY YOU LOOKED AT HER! AND JUST BECAUSE SHE PITIED YOU, YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD STEAL HER AWAY, RIGHT OUT FROM UNDER ME!"

"THAT IS UTTERLY RIDICULOUS! WHY DO YOU THINK SHE EVER TOUCHED YOU, SIRIUS? WHY DO YOU THINK, WHEN QUINN IS HERE, AND CAN GIVE HER EVERYTHING YOU NEVER COULD, WHY DO YOU THINK SHE EVER GLANCED YOUR WAY? IT'S YOU SHE PITIES NOW, SIRIUS! SHE PITIES YOU! YOU ARE NOTHING BUT GUILT TO HER!"

Sirius felt raw rage clutch his chest. "No. She loves me."

"You can't even see it, you fool! She pities you! But you can't honor another, Sirius. I always respected her as yours. But you have taken her here in Quinn's own house, and betrayed him when you owe him so dearly!"

"I OWE HIM NOTHING!" Sirius felt the veins in his neck strain as he gave into the drawing possession even more. "WHAT DO I OWE HIM? HE HAS TAKEN HER AWAY, WHEN IT IS ME SHE DESIRES! IT IS ME SHE LOVES! SHE CARES NOTHING FOR HIM! HE IS NOTHING BUT A PRIDEFUL FOOL WHO WOULD STEAL HER FROM MY SIDE! HE IS NOTHING BUT A THIEF! HE IS A THIEF, AND A MURDERER!"

Lupin's chin was suddenly low, and his eyes blazed into Sirius. "Do not speak of my brother like that, Sirius."

he's trying to tell you what to do just like always just because he thinks he's smarter

Sirius took a step towards him, his oldest friend in the world, and put his face inches away. "I will speak any way I wish. I will say whatever I want. You will not control me, and you will not dictate what I do."

"Step away from me, Sirius. It would be most unfortunate, for another man so important in her life to be hurt."

"I wish you'd try. I really do."

Remus Lupin suddenly growled. It was low and guttural, and centered mostly in his chest, but it was there.

"Oh, you want to, don't you? You want to so badly it hurts. But you couldn't live with yourself, could you, Remus, because then you'd be a killer, justlikeQuinn."

Remus trembled, and his hands formed fists at his side. Something in him was whispering, and it was growing steadily louder, and he heard it saying something, but it seemed so far away…

Sirius laughed. "You're just like Greyback. You're just too much of a coward to show it."

Remus's eyes closed, and Sirius leaned in close.

Remus could smell him, he could smell him, so near, and there was something else…

Weakness.

Sirius was still injured. He would be easy to overpower.

and then he could pay for what he did to you he could pay for everything for taking advantage of you for shunning you for making you feel like a fool all those years ago

The whisper was a voice now, and it echoed in him, and he could feel the rage building.

so easy so easy to overpower you could kill him right here and nothing would happen to you because he deserves to die

Sirius's voice came in a whisper, taunting him cruelly. "Even Tonks doesn't want you. Just like all those other girls. It's fun, and a bit exciting, being with a werewolf, until they realize how weak he is."

kill him

Remus let out a choked breath, and Sirius came closer. "You're nothing but a weak, pathetic animal."

kill

Remus was trying to hold on, but it was getting stronger, and his mind was slipping away, and he was losing it, it was like the full moon, right here in this room…

"You are nothing."

kill kill kill kill kill kill KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL

When his eyes opened, they were dilated and bloodshot, and an inhuman rage was in them. Remus let out a breath that sounded like a coughing growl, and suddenly struck Sirius with the back of his hand, sending him spinning in the air until he landed roughly against the wall.

Pain shot through Sirius, but his rage and desire to fight was far too strong due to the nagging voice in his head. He scrambled to his feet and rushed the werewolf, shoving his full body against him. Remus was ready for him, though, and didn't even buckle under the force. He took Sirius's throat, lifting him a few inches off the ground.

The strike across Sirius's face sent little stars into explosions behind his eyelids, but he fought to hold on to consciousness. He wanted Remus to hurt, wanted him to hurt so badly he'd beg for mercy, and shoved the heel of his hand into his face. A yelp exploded from him, and he backed away, dropping Sirius as he did so.

KILL HIM KILL THE ANIMAL KILL HIM KILL KILL KILL

Sirius didn't have a wand, and knew that the only way to fight him was like an animal, for already Lupin's nails were longer, and when he looked at Sirius, his teeth seemed to be changing, too.

He was transforming, right in front of him, with no full moon and no potion. Something was coming out of him, and it was dangerous.

With a primal roar, he bounded at Sirius, and Sirius braced himself, ready to attack, concentrating on becoming Padfoot...

you have to fight him kill him before he kills you

But he had no time. They were suddenly on the floor, Remus's heavy body straddling him, his oddly powerful hands grabbing Sirius's face and jerking his head to the side. His mouth opened, saliva dripping from lethal teeth as he bent to Sirius's throat.

Sirius struggled to release himself, but the power inside his opponent was shockingly absolute. He felt the floor, reaching for anything, anything at all to fight back with, and felt something heavy and round against the hearth. He mustered all his strength and swung it at Remus's head, and he was suddenly knocked away, a very canine cry erupting from him.

Sirius was on his feet, and approached him, but the werewolf was down, and didn't seem to be ready to rise. As a matter of fact, he was backing away.

Sirius's eyes went to the mysterious weapon in his hand, and saw that it was a chimney brush, its silver tip glistening under the chandelier. He looked back at the werewolf, and the voice in his head was strong and commanding.

Do it kill him do it he deserves it kill him

He tightened his grip. "Does that scare you, Moony?"

he should die look what he's done to you he was going to kill you you should kill him

Remus was against the far wall, and he was stranded. Sirius laughed, advancing on him. "Does it scare you? Do you feel a bit weak?"

Remus Lupin growled again, but this time it was more of a whimper.

Sirius stopped, and put the silver handle on Remus's forehead, and the man let out a weak, animalistic moan. "I know what your true desire was, Remus. You wanted her once, and tried to hide it under the guise of friendship. You can't have her, I won't let you. I'll kill you before I'll let you have her." He shoved the handle harder into Remus's skin, drawing a whine from him. "After how close I am, do you honestly think I would let you ruin it for me? Severus is dying, Remus. He's dying. He can't come between me and Evie anymore. And you know what? I'm glad. I want him dead. I want him dead so badly I'd go up there and do it myself if I got the chance."

A ragged breath suddenly came from behind him, and Sirius turned. Instantly, his heart fell.

The look of horror on her face was indescribable, and she stared at him, her chest rising and falling with broken breaths. Quinn was behind her, his eyes wide and full of shock.

And within Sirius, the voice was gone, as quickly as it had come.

He swallowed. "Evie…"

She shook her head, backing away. "I want you out of here," she whispered.

Sirius took a step towards her. "Evie, wait, you don't understand…" He reached out for her in desperation.

Quinn was suddenly in front of her, putting up a hand to him. He looked nervous, and Sirius knew it was probably the fear of losing control. His eyes were wide, and his hands shook. His voice was trembling. "Stay there, Sirius. You just… you stay there. Please, don't come near her, Sirius. I'm asking you. I… don't make me do something I'll regret."

Sirius was shaking his head, but Evie's eyes had gone past him to Remus. She rushed to him, the anxiety in her voice increasing with every word. "What have you done? What have you done, Sirius? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?"

Sirius took one look at Remus and dropped the brush, moving to her side.

Remus's face was dark, and a rough beard had come from nowhere, covering most of his face. His hair hung in his eyes, which lolled about in his head, and his fingers were long, the knuckles large and rounded. His nails were black and thick, and his teeth seemed too long and pointed for his mouth. And his breath was ragged and catching, forcing itself from his chest.

Evie looked at Quinn. "We have to get him upstairs."

Quinn came to her, giving Sirius a long look in the process. He hefted Remus into his arms and glanced at Evie. "Come with me, Evie. Porter can stay here with him."

She shook her head. "Go on, Quinn. Tell Poppy I'll meet her in his room."

Quinn looked reluctant, but took Remus out, yelling for Porter as he exited.

Evie was still staring at the place where Remus had fallen, and Sirius looked back at her. "Evie, what you saw, it's not what you think..."

She whirled around and took a step to him, then seemed to change her mind about something and glared at him, her chin low and her eyes warning. "Get out."

"Evie, wait, this is not what it looks like. Those things I said, it wasn't me, Evie, you've got to understand..."

He was suddenly on his back, her wand pointed down at him and her eyes hard. He stared up at her. "Evie, something is going on in this house! Severus knew about the nightmares! He knew something was trying to get inside us, and he was right!"

"Get out, Sirius. I will not tell you again."

"Evie, listen to me, you have got to believe me, Severus knew. He knew that something was going on, and he warned me, he warned me about it before he… he knew, Evie."

"You mean he knows."

Sirius stared at her, his brow furrowed. "What… what do you mean?"

"That's what I came down here to tell you. He's awake. He's going to live." She arched an eyebrow, her voice breaking. "I'm so sorry to disappoint you, Sirius."

Sirius scrambled to his feet, going to her and taking her arms. "Then ask him. Ask him, Evie. Let him tell you what's going on."

"Please let me go, Sirius. You are uninjured. Remus is not. I must tend to him."

"That's what I'm trying to tell you… it was Remus, too…"

She shoved him away, backing to the door. "What is wrong with you? Will you blame Remus for what you have said?"

"I'm not blaming him, Evie, I'm saying that… it was in us, both of us, and there's no way to control it… surely you've felt what is happening in this house, surely you were told about what happened at Hogwarts…"

She stared at him, then turned and walked out. He paused, then followed her. "Evie, wait- you can't honestly believe that I would say something like that… not me, not this Sirius… you know me, Evie, better than anyone. Do you honestly think that I'd ever hurt Remus? Do you? Do you really believe that I would want Severus dead?"

She blinked, and there was no understanding in her eyes. "You just did," she said, and left him standing alone in the foyer.