Hello!
Sorry for the long wait everyone! I truly hope none of you think I'm abandoning this story cause I am definitely not! But I had a major case of writer's block. Spencer, Annie and Emma were in my head so many times but whenever I sat down to write I'd just stare at the screen for half an hour before giving up. I hopeyou're not too mad! To make up for it this chapter is a bit longer than usual, :)
I won't bore you any longer, just a quick reminder: Don't forget to check out my tumblr at
xreidsgirlx dot tumblr dot com
for some images and impressions for this story! I love you all, thank you so much for your feedback and support!
xoxo
ReidsGirl
As always, I don't own Criminal Minds or any of the characters except for my OCs!
Chapter 51
Spencer glanced up from the book in his lap and looked out the window for a couple of moments, watching the clouds underneath pass by. As hard as he tried to concentrate, his thoughts kept wandering. He had read the page he was on six times already and finally gave up his attempts to focus on the contents. He shut the book with his left hand before reaching into his battered, brown messenger bag on the seat next to him. After some searching he located the phone underneath his shawl and quickly opened the message Annie had sent him this morning. His lips curled into a smile when he looked at the picture attached to the message.
On it, Annie was lying on their bed, her hair still messy from a night of sleep. She was laughing as Emma, who was right next to her on her back in a purple onesie, grasped for Annie's nose. They had just woken up and as every morning, had some cuddling time before getting up and starting their day. It had become a ritual for the three of them and since he had been away on a case with the team for the past three days, Annie had let him be part of it this way. It had been the first thing he had seen this morning and he couldn't wait to get back to his girls.
He had always missed Annie when work called him halfway across the country but since Emma's arrival it was even harder for him to leave home. It was the fourth time he had had to leave them and so far it didn't get any easier. Annie made sure to send him a picture of their little peanut at least once a day but it wasn't the same as being there with them. Yes, the past three months had turned their lives upside down but in the best way possible. Emma seemed to be growing by the day and was a happy. He chuckled and slightly shook his head as he thought how such a tiny person could have them both on their toes at every waking minute. She wasn't fussy or crying a lot but she was a lively baby, She was now taking in her sorroundings much more actively and interacted with them more, her wide eyes always eager to take in the world around her. And his heart seemed to jump every time she flashed him one of her toothless smiles.
It had first happened a week before he left. He had balanced her on his lap, one of his hands supporting her neck while the other one gently tickled her tummy. She had started to squirm and suddenly let out a gurgling sound as her small mouth had curled into a smile.
"Looking at your girls again, what else." Emily's voice ripped him out of his thoughts and he glanced up to look at his friend.
He gave her a wide smile and nodded his head as Emily took a seat opposite him and leaned back, brushing her bangs out of her eyes. "Annie sent it this morning." he turned the phone so she could see the screen.
Emily leaned in and he felt his heart burst with pride when smiled and said. "You're a lucky man Dr. Reid."
"I know I am." he stuffed the phone into the backpocket of the seat in front of him.
"Do you remember when I asked you if you ever considered having baby geniuses?" his dark haired colleague chuckled. "Who would've thought that only three years later you'd be abandoning your book in favor of looking at your wife and baby."
Spencer let out a laugh. "Believe me, I wouldn't have believed it if you told me I'd be where I am today."
"So you're enjoying life as a dad?"
"I do." he nodded, biting his lip.
"But?" Emily raised her left eyebrow at him.
"There's no but." his head shot up.
"Oh I think there is." she replied and he smirked. That's what you get for working with a bunch of experts in human behaviour.
He hesitated but then shook his head. This was Prentiss, his friend and he had always found it easy to confide in her. She just had that calm air around her that made people open up.
"Well..." he started. "I love being a father more than I could have imagined. And I feel completely silly complaining about this but Annie and me... well we haven't really had much time for ourselves since Emma's arrival." he continued, a faint blush creeping up his cheeks when Emily chuckled softly.
"Oh I see." she flashed him a grin. "Pretty boy is, after all, just a man."
Spencer's blush grew a few shades darker but a smile tugged on his lips. "It's not that. Am I talking to Derek Morgan or is it you Emily?"
"Haha. Very funny Reid." Emily smirked. "But I get it, even now that you're parents, your still a couple. Why don't you let one of us babysit for a few hours? Give you and Annie some alone time."
"I don't know if we're ready to leave her with someone else yet..." he replied. "Especially Annie. It still gnaws on her that she left Emma alone in those first few hours." he added. It had gotten a lot better but she still felt guilty and tried to make up for lost time, even if it was completely unreasonable.
"I know but the two of you really could use a break. Even if it's just to catch up on some much needed sleep." Emily insisted. "Just ask her. None of us is more than a phone call away when you suddenly miss her too much. Garcia lives closest to you, I bet she'll jump at the chance." she added with a smile.
Spencer nodded his head. Maybe he could convince Annie, even if it was just for an hour or two. They could really use a bit of time for just the two of them.
Annie let out a yawn and stretched her tired limbs. She had just finished a washload of the never decreasing heaps of baby clothes and decided to use the time her daughter was sleeping for a quick shower. She pulled her shirt over hear head and smiled. Sometimes it seemed like Emma was just waiting for them to dress them in a new shirt or onesie, only to spit up or drool all over them again. She also had to admit that their house was a bit of a mess these days. But sometimes, especially when Spence had to work longer hours or travelled halfway across the country, she just didn't find the energy to clear away books, magazines or the odd dish. She honestly had no idea how single moms did it.
At least she had evenings and weekends where Spencer would spend some quality time with Emma while she cleaned up the place. His mobility had increased a lot over the past month, but it was still quicker if she did it. It almost seemed like the arrival of their little girl gave him an extra boost of energy, but he still needed a cane to walk around. Besides, he enjoyed spending the whole day with them twice a week, as long as his job allowed it.
He had left for Texas three days ago and once again she got a taste of how hard it would be to do this all alone. The first few weeks after giving birth had been the hardest. Her body had still been weakened by the immense blood loss, making her tire faster than usually. Spence had been the perfect husband and father during that time, helping her as much as he could and making sure she was eating right to regain her strength. The first month was now a blur and she sometimes wondered how they had made it through it without simply falling asleep standing.
She was a lot better now, almost back to her old self. But most of her time was still spent caring for Emma and they hadn't really had much time for one another. Most of their conversations these days revolved around nappies, feeding schedules and other baby related topics. And whenever Emma was sleeping she either tried to get things done around the house or they would use the time to get some rest temselves. And as much as they both loved spending cuddly time with their daughter and couldn't imagine life without her anymore, she had to admit she sometimes missed spending time alone with her husband.
But another part of her was glad for the distraction Emma gave them. She looked down on herself as she stepped into the shower and sighed. She knew it was stupid but she still hadn't completely gotten used to her new body. She had loved being pregnant but now she wasn't as comfortable in her own skin. One would have expected the strain of a difficult birth followed by breastfeeding would get her her old body back in no time but that hadn't been the case. She still hadn't lost those last couple of pounds of baby weight. But it wasn't just that, her body had changed in other ways too. The most obvious part being her breasts that had gotten even fuller with breastfeeding. But that was the only change she didn't mind. She had never been skinny but her belly was still slightly more curved now and while she had been spared of stretch marks, it was softer than it had been before. Her hips were fuller too, giving her even more curves.
She hadn't worried about it too much for the first couple of weeks. They had both focused on Emma, adjusting to their new life. And even though her stitches, a painful remainder of how her body had failed her, had been removed long ago she had only been cleared for sex a week ago. The thought of feeling Spencer's hands on her again had her tingling but whenever his touch had exceeded cuddling she had shied away from taking things further. She would feel a hot ball of shame in the pit of her stomach and feign sleep or use Emma as a distraction. She wouldn't have thought she would ever feel this way, not with Spence, but she was scared. Not only scared of how he'd react to her body, she also feared it might feel different, maybe even hurt after what happened.
They hadn't made love in almost four months, she had been way too exhausted at the end of her pregnancy. Her whole body was aching for him but she couldn't find the confidence to act on those feelings. Just the other day he had stepped out of the bathroom in just a towel around his waist and it had her mouth watering. All the extra strength in his arms from months of being in a wheelchair or on crutches was evident in the way his arms were flexing when he moved. Sometimes just his hand on her hip was enough to turn her on and it drove her crazy. But that feeling of embarrassment and shame always kept her back.
Annie shook her head at her own stupidity as she stepped out of the shower. Emma's faint cries reached her ears and she quickly toweled herself off and put on fresh clothes. She made her way into the nursery where she had laid Emma down for a nap. At night she still slept in a cot in her and Spencer's bedroom but during the day they were starting to get her used to her own room. She bend over the bed and the cries stopped as soon as Emma saw her. Annie smiled and picked her up, pressing a quick kiss to her nose before resting her in the crook of her arm.
"Hey there peanut, enough sleep for now?" she grinned as Emma grabbed for strands of her still wet hair, the way she reached for everything close enough these days. Her action was met with a smile and gurgling sound from Emma and then her little hands moved downwards, pressing themselves against her breast. Emma stuck out her tongue and pressed her saliva covered lips to her mother's skin.
"Hungry again, aren't we." Annie chuckled as she walked back into the living room. "Thought so."
She sat down on the couch again and quickly slid up her tank top, exposing her braless chest and watched Emma fumble for a few moments. She latched on but then threw her head back again, a frustrated frown on her little face.
She repeated the process several times before her mouth opened in a desperate wail. Annie put her right hand on the back of Emma's head, trying to encourage her but it was of no use. So she picked her up, now resting her head in the crook of her neck.
"It's okay, we both know your fussy cause you miss your daddy." Annie whispered calmly, her hand stroking Emma's back. "But he's on his way back, I promise."
She pressed a light kiss on top of Emma's head. She always seemed to be more restless when Spence was away, probably also sensing that her mommy was worried and hoping he'd be safe. Annie took a deep breath and shifted her to try nursing again, knowing if she herself relaxed it would help Emma too.
And the tension in her shoulders left when Emma's little mouth finally latched on, quickly settling into a steady rythm of suckling. Annie's right thumb softly stroked the little cheek as she leant back and closed her tired eyes.
"I miss him too, peanut, but he'll be here soon."
Spencer carefully opened the front door, trying not to make too much noise with his cane as he entered the house that lay in complete darkness except for the small light in the corner of the living room. Annie would always leave it on for him when he came back late. Strauss had called them into the meeting room after they had landed, giving them a lecture on protocol. But he didn't even want to think about work now, he just wanted to get into bed next to Annie and black out everything he had seen in the past days.
He quietly put his go bag on the couch and made his way towards there bedroom. He stopped in his tracks when his eyes fell on Annie, who was lying on her back on her side of the bed. Her left hand rested above her head, causing her tank top to ride up, exposing the soft curve of her hip. He tore his gaze away from her and walked up to the cot against the wall next to the bed, where Emma was in deep slumber, her face twitching from some unknown dream. His arms longed to pick her up and hold her close, smell the sweet baby scent in her hair, but he knew it would only wake her up.
So he quickly slid off his pants and shirt and climbed into bed next to Annie, her face calm and relaxed. Then his eyes moved down to the bare patch of skin above the waistband of her shorts and his mouth went dry. He hadn't touched her, really touched her in such a long time. But he could feel her tense up every time he tried to take things further than kissing. She had also started to cover up around him, something she had never done before. Now she would get dressed right after taking a shower instead of walking into the bedroom naked to put on clothes.
He guessed she was feeling uncomfortable with the way pregnancy and childbirth had changed her body, even if it didn't make sense to him. He loved the feeling of her soft curves pressed against him when they fell asleep. He loved every inch of that body that had given him the gift of being a father. And his own body yearned to show her, let her know exactly how much she turned him on.
He slid under the cover and couldn't resist to reach out and let his hand rest on her hip, his fingertips itching to expore this new Annie. He held his breath when she started to stir, not wanting to wake her up. She was up on her feet for most of the day, she needed her sleep. But she just turned over, suddenly grasping his hand on her skin and pressing her back against his chest. His chin now rested on her shoulder and he moved his hand to her belly. He smiled to himself, grateful that in her sleep she didn't care about her insecurities. If only he could make her see how beautiful she was.
Maybe it would be good for them to have some time alone. It would give him a chance to show her there was nothing to be insecure about, that there wasn't an inch of her body he didn't love. He smiled again when an idea started to form in his head. And it didn't leave his face as he fell asleep himself, hoping it would work out the way he planned.
Seems like they got their hands full with little Emma! And poor Annie. Do you think Spencer will be able to make her feel better? And how? Let me know your thoughts in a review! *wink*
